A thread about control?

[english vicky]

Hi,

I have been asked to locate specific threads about control, having looked i can't find anything specific. Analize i'm not sure if you can help me here? i have searched the library and can't find aything.

Do any of you have some ideas or places where this information can be found?

Thank you very much.

vicky

 

[english vicky]

...or of course you may wish to turn this thread into a control thread!

 

[Phoenix Stone]

Hi,

I brought back up the D/s w/o bdsm thread, as it is really about the underlying issue of control (as opposed to bondage or pain) but would certainly love to hear anyone's thoughts on this subject alone.

Can you be more specific about what you want to discuss or learn? How-to? Emotional versus Physical? Philosophical issues? Or were you given a more general task?

 

[s'lara]

Hello vicky -

i hope some of these help.

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=81087

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=69643

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=87637

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=96715

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=217124

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=170296

Please let me know if you are looking for specific aspects concerning control (i.e., how one obtains control, maintains control or accepts control).

lara

 

[english vicky]

Can you be more specific about what you want to discuss or learn? How-to? Emotional versus Physical? Philosophical issues? Or were you given a more general task?

Well really i'm looking for information on emotional and physical control. How control in these areas can be gained and kept. Not exactly a how-to, more like ideas people have and thoughts.

i know control can be gained and lost in many ways and wondered if there was a thread anywhere that discussed this.

Thank you for your help.

vicky

 

[english vicky]

Thank you very much, i'll take a good look at those when i have lots of time to do so!

vicky

Hello vicky -

i hope some of these help.

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=81087

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=69643

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=87637

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=96715

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=217124

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=170296

Please let me know if you are looking for specific aspects concerning control (i.e., how one obtains control, maintains control or accepts control).

lara

 

[ownedsubgal]

well if we're talking real life here and not fun and games, there are quite a few ways one person can take and keep control over another.

one way is isolation...this is something my Master did with me early on, to help establish his total power over my life and my complete dependence on him. i'm not allowed to go anywhere alone, and i'm not allowed to have any friends he doesn't approve of (those i had before knowing him didn't meet with his approval, so i had to say goodbye to them. he has yet to encounter anyone he likes, so as of now, i have no friend other than him). i never learned how to drive and this isn't something he wishes to teach me at this time, so even if i decided i wanted to escape, maybe steal his truck and go off into the sunset, i wouldn't even know how to start it. i don't work outside the home at the moment by his wishes, however he has allowed me to work in the past. far from giving me a few hours of freedom a day, this job actually allowed him to keep even better watch over me, as 1. he got me the job in the first place and 2. he dropped me off every morning, picked me up for lunch every afternoon, picked me up every evening to go home, and often would drop in unannounced just to say hi.

another tool of control can be financial dependence. i have no money of my own whether i'm working or not. He gives me a very small allowance i can spend on fun unnecessities...candy, or a book or some such thing. by not having any money, not having control of or access to any bank accounts, one must depend on their Master just for day to day survival. they provide all.

there are many, many other areas one can exercise total control over another but i will leave it at that for now.

 

[Etoile]

osg, I just tried to send you a PM. I've saved it, so let me know when your box is clear and I can send it to you. Or I can just say it here.

 

[ownedsubgal]

Etoile, say here if it pertains to the thread...if not, my PM box should be clear now.

 

[tythisredheadup]

Why?

well if we're talking real life here and not fun and games, there are quite a few ways one person can take and keep control over another.

one way is isolation...this is something my Master did with me early on, to help establish his total power over my life and my complete dependence on him. i'm not allowed to go anywhere alone, and i'm not allowed to have any friends he doesn't approve of (those i had before knowing him didn't meet with his approval, so i had to say goodbye to them. he has yet to encounter anyone he likes, so as of now, i have no friend other than him). i never learned how to drive and this isn't something he wishes to teach me at this time, so even if i decided i wanted to escape, maybe steal his truck and go off into the sunset, i wouldn't even know how to start it. i don't work outside the home at the moment by his wishes, however he has allowed me to work in the past. far from giving me a few hours of freedom a day, this job actually allowed him to keep even better watch over me, as 1. he got me the job in the first place and 2. he dropped me off every morning, picked me up for lunch every afternoon, picked me up every evening to go home, and often would drop in unannounced just to say hi.

another tool of control can be financial dependence. i have no money of my own whether i'm working or not. He gives me a very small allowance i can spend on fun unnecessities...candy, or a book or some such thing. by not having any money, not having control of or access to any bank accounts, one must depend on their Master just for day to day survival. they provide all.

there are many, many other areas one can exercise total control over another but i will leave it at that for now.

Some take this shit too seriously. To each his own...

 

[Etoile]

Etoile, say here if it pertains to the thread...if not, my PM box should be clear now.

It does pertain, but it was just a personal comment between you and me, so I sent it as a PM.

 

[seldomseen]

Hi,

I have been asked to locate specific threads about control, having looked i can't find anything specific. Analize i'm not sure if you can help me here? i have searched the library and can't find aything.

Do any of you have some ideas or places where this information can be found?

Thank you very much.

vicky

i dont know if this will be helpful, but here is a link to a good website http://www.castlerealm.com

 

[s'lara]

osg is on the right track although i do not know if the control methods vicky is seeking are about conditioning one to be completely dependent upon another. i am sure vicky will say so if that isn't the case.

Here is another link i've found that explores how to gain mental/emotional ownership of another and how to employ those methods in training.

http://www.bestslavetraining.com/Welcome.htm - site presented by CuffsMaster and Cuffs_ slave


An excerpt from the site:

Environment

Controlling Space, Time, Physical Actions, Privacy and Relationships

Part of training is the actual physical control of the slave’s behavior. If you view a slave's behavior as comprised of space, time, physical actions, privacy and relationships with others, then it becomes easier to develop a training program that enables you to control her total behavior. Developing methods for discipline training that include each of the areas should be considered in early training as a way of molding her into your slave. Early training in each of these areas is helpful in avoiding future problems and providing a foundation for more advanced BDSM and slave training. Often many of these changes need to be practiced until they become a habit for her.

It is also effective to inform her that you intend to control each of the areas and explain how you intend to control them. However, it takes more than just words, action is necessary. You have to spend the time necessary by using discipline training, practice, reinforcement and punishment to change her behavior. The goal is to establish behavior that is consistent and reflects her slavery. A side benefit of establishing rules, modes and altering behavior is that it makes slave management much easier for you. This is even more important if you have more than one slave.

Below are listed the types of freedoms the Master should control in behavioral training. Additional information is located at http://www.enslavement.org.uk internal enslavement.

Restricting and controlling the scope or freedom of action of the slave's body:

a) Space

The area or space a slave is to occupy should be controlled. In the early stages of training, the slave is told where to be at all times. Restricting the slave to an area and requiring permission to go beyond that area is an example of owning the space a slave occupies. Owning the slave’s space can be enhanced by caging her for a period of time, restricting where she eats and sleeps, and restricting the use of furniture. Bondage can also be a powerful restrictive tool for controlling space.


A method often used in early training is to assign a place for a slave to set when she is not in use in your service. It may be that you want her to set at your feet or in a corner until you called for her. Her body is controlled at all times by using this process. It is not effect slave management in long-term service because it restricts her ability to do routine task, but is useful in early training.

Controlling space can be thought of as you controlling where her body is at all times and/or placing restrictions as to distance it can be from you. Her body must have a reasons for being beyond the distance limits you place on it or out of a particular place you have established for it to be. In early training, If you are not using her body to serve you, her body should be in a place awaiting to serve.

Space also means, what is often called personal space around you. A slave has no personal space that is separate from her Master.

b) Time

Controlling a slave's time means that you:

can set the times for activities and her availability for the activities

can control a period at the slave's disposal for her own use, and

can set or maintain the tempo, speed, or duration of: time to complete activates.

Time is no longer owned by the slave and she learns to abide by the time schedule of her Master. Free time is a privilege granted to her. Early in training the slave should be allowed very little free time and should be kept busy serving her Master.

The slave has probably operated most of her life on her time schedule and has to adjust her thinking to abide by your time schedule. Establishing time schedules for activities and restricting activities she can perform without permission are also ways you can control her time.

Often, just making a slave sit quietly and wait until you desire her to serve you is an effective training tool for controlling time, space and physical actions. If you establish a place for her to sit and wait for an order, this controls both her space and time. This can be accomplished by having a place for her to sit in early training that is assigned by a particular vocal command. For example, you can use the command "Go to your place." She obeys this command by going to a particular place in the corner of the room, at your feet or wherever you decide this "place" should be. Have her remain there until you have a need for her services. This, of course, is not always practical but is a useful tool and command to let her see that her time and space are controlled and to actually experience it.

Another method of controlling her time is to have her do certain task at a particular time every day. This is effective during the period she is learning that you own her time. In addition, if she has a routine of doing a particular thing at a particular time of day, change it to show her that you own her time and controls her behavior.

Place her on the floor with an old clock that ticks setting beside her so she can her it. Making her stay in that place for a period of time that you establish. This reinforces that you control her time and space.

c) Physical Actions (controlling actions of the body)

Controlling physical actions means the controlling the actual body of the slave, which include the body's l1) location at any time 2) position the body is in (Examples: kneeling, standing) 2) then the body can change locations from one place to another 3) manner or style in which the body moves 4) sexual feeling and experiences, and 5) speech.

This involves the Master establishing his ownership of the body movements of your slave. The control of her movements and actions is a major part of her learning how to serve, obey and please. It is important to establish, practice and enforce rules of behavior for your slave. This allows a structured and consistent way of controlling your slave's behavior. These are the major reasons for having rules and modes for your slave.

Controlling a slave's body positions and establishing Modes and Rules of Submission.

Controlling physical actions includes, but is not limited to, establishing rules for actions she will take, teaching her positions, rules for PRESENTING, and modes. (see slave positions)

This part defines how a slave conducts herself around her Master. It could, if you wish, include how she presents you a glass of water, stands before you, walks around the house and many other things. See slave MODES , and Rules of Submission for details on my rules, required PRESENTING and slave modes. This will give you ideas on how to establish your own.

Controlling a slave's speech.

Often a Master spends time "voice training" a slave. This usually means restricting her speech. The goal of slave voice training is to train the slave to speak in the pattern and inflection that her Master finds desirable and is befitting her position as his slave. (See Voice Training)

Controlling a slave's sexual being.

Another sub-category of controlling physical actions is controlling the sexuality or sexual being of a slave. You own her sexual being, that means you choose how, with whom, and when she has any sexual activity. she has no right of sexual refusal to you.

She is allowed an orgasm only at your command. A slave is often required by her Master to ask for permission to have an orgasm and then beg for it. In addition, after orgasm, she should thank you for allowing her to reach an orgasm. It is not necessary that you allow a slave to have an orgasm each time you use her for your pleasure. Her sexual being serves at your pleasure.

It is an effective tool to sometimes please yourself and not allow her an orgasm. she should always thank you for using her body for your pleasure including the times she is denied orgasm. Her sexual being is for your pleasure and training techniques should be developed to reinforce this and show her the wide range of control you have over it.

Teaching your slave "fucking positions" is also a useful tool. With a word command from you, she know what sexual position you wish her to be in while you use her body for your pleasure. You own her body, teach her how you want to use it,

In addition, you can teach her an automatic position that she is required to get into if you just proceed to use her sexually without saying anything. If, for example, you want her in the middle of the night, there is not always a need for foreplay; you own her so you approach her or wake her up and she knows to get into the automatic position while you use her for pleasure. You may or may not allow her to cum, it is your decision, but she should thank you for using her body for your pleasure.

Two advance training techniques involves teaching her to cum on command and second, not allowing her a complete orgasm.

A female cums in waves. Before not allowing her to have a complete orgasm, you need have her count the number of waves she has during an orgasm then tell you how many she had. You probably should have her do it more than once to get an accurate estimate of the number of waves she has during a normal orgasm. If she normally has between 4 to 7 waves during an orgasm; cut it in half and allow her only 2 or 3 waves during some orgasms. This will be difficult for her to do , but with practice she will be able to accomplish it. This teachers her that even how she is allowed to experience and enjoy an orgasm is owed. It is not necessary to do this all the time and is probably more effective to change-up; allow her a complete orgasm sometimes, an incomplete orgasm sometimes and no orgasm at other times.

Teaching her to spread her legs automatically at some signal you give her is another tool. For example, if you touch her between her legs, she is to automatically spread her legs wide the instant she feels this tough no matter where she is or what time it is. Practice is necessary to ingrain this automatic response.

Setting a rule that she must wear a dress or skirt with no panties when you are in public, shows her that her cunt must be available for use at all times. Not allowing her to sit on her dress while ridding in a car also reinforces that she must make her cunt easy to reach. she is for your use and part of that use is her sexual being, so make it easy to get to.

Another common step taken by Masters, is not allowing her to play with her cunt or nipples unless you give her instructions to do so. You own her sexual being therefore control its use.

Control of the slave's body also includes controlling her:

Dress Code

Drugs (medication)

Good Nutrition

Exercise

Recreation


d) Privacy

Privacy includes three areas; 1) privacy of the body, 2) secrets and 3) transparency of thoughts . A slave should feel that no part of her life is private from her master's view or control.

Privacy of the body

A slave has no place of seclusion from her master and is always subject to his observation. Any retreat or solitude a slave may have is granted as a privilege by her Master.

Nothing is allowed to be withheld or private from her Master. The slave no longer owns her privacy and is allowed no private space without her Master’s permission. This includes her use of the bathroom, telephone conversations, work, or sleep. She must learn that her days and nights are owned by her Master.

Forcing a slave to train in the nude and requiring her to open her body for inspection are also good techniques for privacy training. Have a predetermined command you can give her that will place her in a position or positions to have her body inspected. Do it often in early training to instill in her that she will maintain her body as you wish.

In addition, forcing her to leave the bathroom door open at all times, shows her that nothing is private from her Master. Nothing is kelp from her Master.

Forcing a lack of physical privacy also adds to a feeling of a lack of emotional privacy. This adds to her feeling of being owned.

Secrets

Privacy is more that just her body. Don't allow the slave to keep secrets. This can include computer passwords, reviewing her mail after she opens it, knowledge of her finances including income, expenses and personal debts, and private personal items.

If you wish, it can include her forwarding copies of her email exchanges, chat room discussions and ICQ discussions to you.

Transparency of thoughts

One of the concepts of slavery is "transparency." This is openness related to her thoughts and emotions. Her behavior is directly related to her thoughts and emotions and it is important that this information is available to you. Exploring the slave's core beliefs and feeling should be done when resistance to change occurs.

A very effect training tool is to simply ask your slave, "What are you thinking right now?"

e) Relationships with others (interpersonal)

Rules are established for the relationships a slave has with others and is often divided into categories such as rules for social, employment, family, sister slaves. and restriction on or rules for sexual relationships. The control of a slave should be extended beyond just the time and relationship with her Master.

Association with others is a privilege granted by her Master, not a right. If she is meeting co-workers after work for an activity, you can require her to ask for your permission before she is allowed to attend.

I don't like to separate a slave from her family, but she should know that you control her access and time with them (excluding small children which to me is a separate category) and she is subject to your schedule. Yes, there are exceptions to this rule, however they should be viewed as exceptions instead of the norm.

Changing a slave's environment

Changing the slave's environment leads to behavioral change. A change in environment to one that is conducive to slavery helps to:

(1) avoid situations that lead to unwanted behavior and

(2) provide stimuli that prompt the desired behavior.

This is why it is necessary to control the slave's space, time, physical actions, privacy, and relationships.

The purpose of controlling the slave's environment is to:

decrease the frequency of undesirable responses. (Examples: procrastinating and "bad" habits)

increase the frequency of desired responses. (Examples: doing chores and new learned submissive behavior)

By changing the environment and behavior of a slave, a corresponding change occurs in attitude. When a slave's attitude conflicts with the behavior her Master requires, it causes a mental discomfort (conflict). This motivates her to change her attitude or behavior to reduce dissonance.

A Master controls the slave's behavior. She is helpless to change her behavior therefore her attitude must change in order to reduce the mental conflict. The feeling of helplessness to change her own behavior is important in slave training. If she is told to maintain her eyes down, she knows that her Master controls her behavior and in the long run, she is helpless to act in any other way than maintain eyes down. This feeling of helplessness in controlling her behavior fosters a change in attitude.

NOTE: The term helplessness as used here means:

that in order to maintain her slavery or continue on the right path in her slave training and not displease her Master, she is helpless to change her behavior. Her Master determines her behavior. It means that she has made a decision to allow her Master the right to make her behavioral choices for her. He has made a choice of how he wishers her to behave therefore she is helpless to change her behavior and be a slave.

 

[fallon2]

What she said

s'lara says it soooooooo well in the previous thread.

In a LDR ignoring the sub by not communicating is definitely something that gets their attention as well as they HATE it.

Something to be used rarely.