A Text Exchange (between me and a friend)(also, a rant)

[qrayze]

Me:

Can't help but notice you and dave are friends on facebook again as it was posted to my wall...you guys getting back together?

Now, normally, I don't pry into my friend's private lives, as long as they're happy, I'm good. BUT this guy has caused her some major grief in the past...he is so not worthy of her, and he has proved it; even admitted to it.

Her:

We are talking and thats all i am going to tell

seriously? this from the girl who is famous for her three-page-long text messages? So, yeah, this made me kinda upset and worried at the same time, so I decided to send her a short message back (which would be the part before the "Ps:", then I got kind of carried away...)

Me:

(1/5) Ok, I just hope you don't forget how much of an asshole he is. Ps: I'm pretty sure he's a closet gay, which would account for the fickle behavior, (2/5) asshole qualities notwithstanding...and since you obviously don't trust me with the "insider" info that a bff is supposed to be entitled to (you (3/5) know I don't gossip, and anyway, who would I tell? Kelly? I have no life) then you already know he is an asshole, but your co-dependent self misses him (4/5) and you think this time will be different because he promises blah blah blah...you just don't want to be reminded that he's an asshole who hurt you, not (5/5) once but twice, and he will do it again and again. So this is me, your FRIEND who is reminding you that he is an ASSHOLE.

Ok, so yeah, I probably just created needless drama, and she is probably so mad that she won't talk to me again (still hasn't responded), but if she is going to put me in the "aquaintance" catagory after being best friends for over 10 YEARS, then I don't care about telling her exactly what I think.
And yeah, this could probably be considered gossip, but I needed to get this out...I'm tired, and cranky, and probably never should've even asked her about the friendship status to begin with. I blame facebook.
/rant

 

[Que]

I dont think you should get between her and I..

1) I am not an asshole to you, only her.
2) Asshole are unfairly singled out in the body corporal in that not only do they serve a useful function vis-a-vis evacuation of waste material, but some people less "tight-assed" than I report associating it with pleasurable sensations.
3) I sent you a request to join me in Frontier-ville and you have YET to respond.
4) Since you seem willing to dispense advice all willy and nilly, rather than Milli and Vanilli. Is it wise to join a virtual motorcycle club with members of an actual one?
5) Friend me?

 

[qrayze]

1) I am not an asshole to you, only her.
2) Asshole are unfairly singled out in the body corporal in that not only do they serve a useful function vis-a-vis evacuation of waste material, but some people less "tight-assed" than I report associating it with pleasurable sensations.
3) I sent you a request to join me in Frontier-ville and you have YET to respond.
4) Since you seem willing to dispense advice all willy and nilly, rather than Milli and Vanilli. Is it wise to join a virtual motorcycle club with members of an actual one?
5) Friend me?

1) yeah, but....
2) true, my fave sex toy is my butt plug
3) that's because I don't play the facebook games...
4) yes, less chance of an altercation with a rival motorcycle club that would result in bodily injury
5) hmm...let me think about it