A surprising turn of events for me. Ideas, Dommes?

[lilminx]

Ok- I've been interested more in the sub aspect of my personality-then I come across this man who is interested in me being his Domme- very strange, I know. It's too soon to tell if either of us will pursue this, but it definitely has given me food for thought.

I could see myself, with the right person, being the dominant one in the sexual relationship, so it's not really a question of whether I'm capable or not.

He is married, and his wife knows about this. When I asked him why he is not his wife's boytoy, he told me that he is at times, but he wants someone who will be more "harsh" and "strict" with him (his words).

Does anyone have any suggestions about what I could do with him, when we play and as "punishment"? Again, as I said, I may not pursue this with him, but I think it would be interesting to hear about techniques and forms of play for the future. Toys, and how to use them, would also be helpful...

Thank you in advance.

 

[James Blandings]

MsMinx, that really is just such a broad question that is hard to answer. There have been links to "checklists" posted on this board, and you might want to try having him fill one of those out for you. And fill one out for yourself as well. The Dominant partner has a right to set their limits too.

 

[lilminx]

JB,
You're right- it is a *very* broad topic. I was just wondering what sorts of things Dommes might do with their male subs. It can be anything from mild pain, to humiliation, to public displays, etc.

The checklist is a good idea as well. I will probably print it up and we will both fill it out. Thanks for the suggestion.

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

No idea

No ideas here, I'm a sub, but it seems to me that this guy has marital problems more than a desire for a D/s relationship. You know the situation better than I do but that's what I see.

 

[Lain]

Re: No idea

No ideas here, I'm a sub, but it seems to me that this guy has marital problems more than a desire for a D/s relationship. You know the situation better than I do but that's what I see.

How on earth can you suggest that from the little information lilminx provided about the situation? There are tons of examples on this board of non-traditional marriages and relationships. It's absurd to think that just because he wants something from someone other than his wife (and has evidentally gotten his wife's approval for this) that they have "marital problems."

endeavoring to be polite and failing,
Lain

 

[lilminx]

Fox, It's not my ass- mine isn't that luscious... sigh...

MistressHoney, thanks for your reply. I will take what he has said to me into consideration. he doesn't really seem to be fraid of much- lol. I think that's why he needs someone who will be "harsh" with him.

Lain, thank you for replying to Pauli's remark when I wasn't here to. You are correct- they don't appear to have any marital problems, and his wife would probably also join in. It would be sonething that all 3 parties involved would be aware of.

Pauli, please don't comment on the relationshiups between people that you know nothing of. I wasn't asking for advice over *whether* I should pursue it- I was asking for tips and suggestions- so, being a sub, do you have any?

 

[Trinka]

Good old fashioned public manners are always good - opening doors to buildings for you, allowing you to go first, opening your car door, carrying your packages, etc. These things will show deference to your position, IMHO, in this sort of relationship and not the current women's lib view of gentlemen's manners. I know you have talked about him needing something "harsh", so failure to be polite would mean punishment.