KillerMuffin
Seraphically Disinclined
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2000
- Posts
- 25,603
I wasn't going to respond again because I wouldn't be able to say anything constructive on the topic outlined by the thread starter, but after reading this thing again, I believe that a little of my history in this entire submission thing might be conducive to understanding a bit about my position, which is not a blanket condescension against the submissive/dominant lifestyle.
I was in a sub/dom relationship for a good portion of my life where I was the submissive and he was the dominant. If you like to see exactly how I felt about this, I have some things on Svedish Chef's poetry thread. I won't repost it.
He believe he owned me, that I was his personal property to do with as he wished. I was subjected to whatever whim struck his fancy and I had no choice but to follow it or I would be punished for it. I had no control over my body, my life, or even my own thoughts. They were constantly consumed with ways to please him so he would leave me alone. Consequently I have become extremely self absorbed, self contained, and self controlled. Our relationship was never violent, he only spanked me once in my entire life and never otherwise struck me. He preferred psychological means. I, on the other hand, discovered violence. I discovered that if you hit and hurt other people, they would hurt and not me. After so many years of belonging to him and believing that I had no power, it was quite a rush to dominate people around me. It was a few more years before I managed to turn it to the person who deserved it, not to innocent bystanders. Eventually I turned on him and did the most unspeakably horrible thing that I imagine anyone could do to another person. My ignorance about certain things prevented the consequences of my actions, but in my mind I will always have to live with the fact that I not only decided to do the deed, but I did it. Even worse is the fact that I still feel no remorse for it. Still self consumed as always, I worry about my lack of conscience over that act. But I digress.
The point of this is that I was forced to be submissive, to surrender control of all of me to someone else without my consent one way or the other.
In the traditional sub/dom relationship the control of the sub is surrender to the dom, it's an act of giving. The power in this relationship rests entirely with the sub, they are the ones who decide what their limits of surrender are, how far the dom can take it. An intelligent dom, a true Master, as it were, recognizes this fact and treats the gift of the sub's surrender with the respect it deserves. Training, punishment, reward, all of those things that enter into the relationship are merely trappings of the true sub/dom union.
Being a master/mistress isn't about having a submissive there to do what you want, it isn't about training them, punishing them, rewarding them, or controlling them at all. It's all about giving. A submissive gives their control of themselves to the dominant and a dominant returns that gift by giving the submissive what they want in return, having someone else take the responsibility of their actions.
I don't know how clear that was, but it's what I've discovered in my little study that I did on this subject.
I was in a sub/dom relationship for a good portion of my life where I was the submissive and he was the dominant. If you like to see exactly how I felt about this, I have some things on Svedish Chef's poetry thread. I won't repost it.
He believe he owned me, that I was his personal property to do with as he wished. I was subjected to whatever whim struck his fancy and I had no choice but to follow it or I would be punished for it. I had no control over my body, my life, or even my own thoughts. They were constantly consumed with ways to please him so he would leave me alone. Consequently I have become extremely self absorbed, self contained, and self controlled. Our relationship was never violent, he only spanked me once in my entire life and never otherwise struck me. He preferred psychological means. I, on the other hand, discovered violence. I discovered that if you hit and hurt other people, they would hurt and not me. After so many years of belonging to him and believing that I had no power, it was quite a rush to dominate people around me. It was a few more years before I managed to turn it to the person who deserved it, not to innocent bystanders. Eventually I turned on him and did the most unspeakably horrible thing that I imagine anyone could do to another person. My ignorance about certain things prevented the consequences of my actions, but in my mind I will always have to live with the fact that I not only decided to do the deed, but I did it. Even worse is the fact that I still feel no remorse for it. Still self consumed as always, I worry about my lack of conscience over that act. But I digress.
The point of this is that I was forced to be submissive, to surrender control of all of me to someone else without my consent one way or the other.
In the traditional sub/dom relationship the control of the sub is surrender to the dom, it's an act of giving. The power in this relationship rests entirely with the sub, they are the ones who decide what their limits of surrender are, how far the dom can take it. An intelligent dom, a true Master, as it were, recognizes this fact and treats the gift of the sub's surrender with the respect it deserves. Training, punishment, reward, all of those things that enter into the relationship are merely trappings of the true sub/dom union.
Being a master/mistress isn't about having a submissive there to do what you want, it isn't about training them, punishing them, rewarding them, or controlling them at all. It's all about giving. A submissive gives their control of themselves to the dominant and a dominant returns that gift by giving the submissive what they want in return, having someone else take the responsibility of their actions.
I don't know how clear that was, but it's what I've discovered in my little study that I did on this subject.
