a sub ?

lost

Virgin
Joined
Sep 14, 2002
Posts
1,805
Hi,
I have been lurking for a while again. The more i learn the more i have realized i have been a sub for sometime.

Now my question is as a sub w/o a Dom, have you placed yourself under someone’s protection, outsides of D/s or a sexual relationship?
 
i've done that before.. a sub that was a friend usually, but our tastes weren't very compatable, so I'd look out for 'em until they found a decent Dom/me..
 
As a dom I've never had much luck mentoring new subs because once they meet their "perfect dom" online they just don't listen anymore. It turns into an unending story of "oh I know your advice is true but he is different and the rules don't apply to him". Then when they crash and burn they want my help again and proceed to repeat the process.

Does anyone else have this happen?
 
Daedalus77 said:
As a dom I've never had much luck mentoring new subs because once they meet their "perfect dom" online they just don't listen anymore. It turns into an unending story of "oh I know your advice is true but he is different and the rules don't apply to him". Then when they crash and burn they want my help again and proceed to repeat the process.

Does anyone else have this happen?

Over and over and over again. It happens with new Dom/mes just as often though.
Unfortunately after it has happened three or four times in a row it taints My interest in helping any newbies to a certain degree.
Have You ever also felt the loss of interest in this way? Or anyone else?
 
Shadowsdream said:
Over and over and over again. It happens with new Dom/mes just as often though.
Unfortunately after it has happened three or four times in a row it taints My interest in helping any newbies to a certain degree.
Have You ever also felt the loss of interest in this way? Or anyone else?

I've had this happen a few times, then a good one comes along and blows it all
 
On the other hand, I had a Dom friend on line who was instrumental in my learning.

We remain friends and in touch.

I believe that submissives can guide and support one another, but also think that a submissive can do well to engage openly and meaningfully in friendship with a Dom.

The trouble can be finding that Dom who is willing to be a friend and not become interested in stepping up the relationship.

As always, open communication is a must.
 
Of course communication is key, as is a Dom/me strong enough to resist the urge to "step up," but subs admittedly by nature are fickle and less prone to resisting urges
 
Daedalus77 said:
As a dom I've never had much luck mentoring new subs because once they meet their "perfect dom" online they just don't listen anymore. It turns into an unending story of "oh I know your advice is true but he is different and the rules don't apply to him". Then when they crash and burn they want my help again and proceed to repeat the process.

Does anyone else have this happen?

Yes. It does start hardening you against trying to help new people, too--I agree with Shadowsdream on that count.

RS,
Resident Cynic
 
Daedalus77 said:
As a dom I've never had much luck mentoring new subs because once they meet their "perfect dom" online they just don't listen anymore. It turns into an unending story of "oh I know your advice is true but he is different and the rules don't apply to him". Then when they crash and burn they want my help again and proceed to repeat the process.

Does anyone else have this happen?

Yep. They want instant gratification. If an lonline Dom/me can appear to meet their needs right now, then away they go.

Then, when the inevitable let down comes, here they are coming to you to explain to them what went wrong.

Ebony
 
When i was just finding my way in the world of D/s, i had no one to talk to....no one to guide me or help me learn. I searched out things on the internet, read books...but i never had anyone to answer questions that i had. While i think that not having that did hinder the process a bit, it was a great way for me to form my own opinions, w/o having anyone else do it for me. I encourage anyone who wants to help someone to create a website, or refer people to other reputable BDSM sites. They were pivital in my learning experience. I think my determination to find the information and not having anyone to help me really reinforced the learning process...this is merely my opinion, but in the beginning, talking to only one person can hinder one's growth, because your only getting that one person's opinion. It's great to have someone to answer your questions...but getting other opinions and recources is the best way to learn(that's one of the reasons this place rocks!).
 
Bondagebunni said:
When i was just finding my way in the world of D/s, i had no one to talk to....no one to guide me or help me learn. I searched out things on the internet, read books...but i never had anyone to answer questions that i had. While i think that not having that did hinder the process a bit, it was a great way for me to form my own opinions, w/o having anyone else do it for me. I encourage anyone who wants to help someone to create a website, or refer people to other reputable BDSM sites. They were pivital in my learning experience. I think my determination to find the information and not having anyone to help me really reinforced the learning process...this is merely my opinion, but in the beginning, talking to only one person can hinder one's growth, because your only getting that one person's opinion. It's great to have someone to answer your questions...but getting other opinions and recources is the best way to learn(that's one of the reasons this place rocks!).

All of the links have been posted. This forum as been going for a long time, and some of us have been out and about doing this for real for a long time.

All a person has to do is read. Some people are just too lazy to read, some would rather be spoon fed.

Ebony
 
Last edited:
lost said:
Hi,
I have been lurking for a while again. The more i learn the more i have realized i have been a sub for sometime.

Now my question is as a sub w/o a Dom, have you placed yourself under someone’s protection, outsides of D/s or a sexual relationship?

I guess my sub radar works online also :D
 
Hi Richard thank you :kiss:

Thanks for all you responses, but I would like to reask my question.

First I have to say that unfortunately I am at a point and have been where I need physical protection. I have been able to chat with some very generous people who have helped me with advice, thoughts and experiences.

I was wondering if anyone had been under the protection of someone else in this way?
 
lost said:
Hi Richard thank you :kiss:

Thanks for all you responses, but I would like to reask my question.

First I have to say that unfortunately I am at a point and have been where I need physical protection. I have been able to chat with some very generous people who have helped me with advice, thoughts and experiences.

I was wondering if anyone had been under the protection of someone else in this way?

Perhaps someone can answer your question, I cannot cause my boys do not need physical protection. If anything, they protect Me.

Eb
 
lost said:
Hi Richard thank you :kiss:

Thanks for all you responses, but I would like to reask my question.

First I have to say that unfortunately I am at a point and have been where I need physical protection. I have been able to chat with some very generous people who have helped me with advice, thoughts and experiences.

I was wondering if anyone had been under the protection of someone else in this way?

Why would you feel you need protection?
What am I missing?
 
uhm...I have a question...what exactly do you mean by "physical protection"? that confuses me.
 
Richard49 said:
Why would you feel you need protection?
What am I missing?

I have a problem with a person who has been violent in the past and will probably be in the future. Does this answer your question?
 
Last edited:
Ebonyfire said:
Perhaps someone can answer your question, I cannot cause my boys do not need physical protection. If anything, they protect Me.

Eb

Have you considered a lease program? :)
 
lost said:
I have a problem with a person who has been violent in the past and will probably be in the future. Does this answer your question?

Than you need to have someone who is physically close to you and a black belt in martial arts and/or guns ..........
 
I think I am a little confused Rose.... you are saying that there is someone who may cause you harm? Have you not gone to the police? I have known several Doms and some have offered their protection, but this is more in the form of someone for a safe call or to talk to about other prospects in my life... not someone who is going to take a bullet for me....
 
cellis,

It is very complicated, i didn't want to do into details, but police have been involved in the past and i have lost all respect for them. Police will probably be involved in the future. i don't want someone to take a bullet for me either, but he is intimidated by other men. At one time i live w/ a friend who offered me protection like this (thank goodness w/o strings), and i'm now living w/ someone who he is somewhat afraid of, however this is not a long-term solution. I really wanted to know if someone else had been in a position like this


Richard,

i had thought along the same lines.


Ebonyfire,

:D
 
lost said:
cellis,

It is very complicated, i didn't want to do into details, but police have been involved in the past and i have lost all respect for them. Police will probably be involved in the future. i don't want someone to take a bullet for me either, but he is intimidated by other men. At one time i live w/ a friend who offered me protection like this (thank goodness w/o strings), and i'm now living w/ someone who he is somewhat afraid of, however this is not a long-term solution. I really wanted to know if someone else had been in a position like this


Richard,

i had thought along the same lines.


Ebonyfire,

:D

Kidding aside, this is a very serious matter. Is he affected by a group situation, like if you live with more than one person? Would this be an option?

Is there a stalking law or statute where you live? That is awful to have that hanging over your head.

Ebony
 
Back
Top