A study in abusive control

[Lancecastor]

Re: n/a

How many married women sit online during the day flashing their tits and muff, whilst hubby is at work 'providing' for the family he loves and would die for?

How many have secret affairs with other men on the net?

Women drive men to the edge. Men work hard and expect respect from a woman rather than their fucking nagging, bitching and flirty fucking online shit.

No one is perfect and even though the guy in the situation mentioned may be a cunt, what made him do what he did?

For fun? Cheap thrills? Or was he dealing with a fucking scrag that is nothing more than a cheap online whore?



No autographs. I know you love me so.

If my exwife came to me tomorrow and told me she was leaving the country with my children to hook up with some guy she met online...I'd have his dick torn off by pros.

 

[Gord]

Re: Re: n/a

If my exwife came to me tomorrow and told me she was leaving the country with my children to hook up with some guy she met online...I'd have his dick torn off by pros.

yes - I would probably tend to fall into that camp !!

Obviously the details of this situation are missing me - but are known tom others here - in a classic wink and a nudge type of post - obviously this is a real situation about some posters here.

If the guy is being violent etc , then no-one deserves that and there is never really any excuse for violence in a relationship especialy on a prolonged basis

Then the plot thickens - the husband comes on line and paints a diferent story of a wife leading a double life , posting pics etc.and then running away from with an OL lover.

You couldnt make it up !

 

[Cheyenne]

I've posted this here before in other threads. What you do here or anywhere else online CAN affect your real life, even if you are anonymous to us. In a custody battle for children, I think it would be a gold mine for a spouse to find pictures posted here as evidence to the court of a parent's " bad character." That goes for wives OR husbands. Even though most of us posting at Lit have no problem with the pictures people post here, we should remember that the rest of the world may see us as disgusting porn people. That includes divorce judges.

In a court battle where one parent abuses the spouse and the other parent posts pictures on a porn site, I wonder which the judge will consider to be the best parent? I'm afraid we may all be surprised.

 

[DéjàNu]

Re: Re: Re: n/a

Then the plot thickens - the husband comes on line and paints a diferent story of a wife leading a double life , posting pics etc.and then running away from with an OL lover.

You couldnt make it up !

Come on, he wont tell us he beats her!!!

And if all she need was a Onlive Lover to get away then she is darn lucky to have found one.

As for posting pics, if she have fun doing it, its ok, its her body, she do what she likes with it... and no one, except herself, has the right to tell her what to do or dont with her body!

I'm so lucky to never have this kind of nightmare life. I had once a "on the verge" abusive boyfriend, darn he didnt find his right size shoes with me! Its a game that can be played at two and he didnt play a long time with me.

 

[Lancecastor]

This is not a thread about "abusive control", this is a pissing match.

The woman involved should be talking to Man #1 and getting this shit settled.

And if the woman is Anais Nin...you should all fuck off and pick up the phone and get this settled or get lawyers.

Lance

 

[Gord]

Re: Re: Re: Re: n/a

Come on, he wont tell us he beats her!!!

And if all she need was a Onlive Lover to get away then she is darn lucky to have found one.

As for posting pics, if she have fun doing it, its ok, its her body, she do what she likes with it... and no one, except herself, has the right to tell her what to do or dont with her body!

I'm so lucky to never have this kind of nightmare life. I had once a "on the verge" abusive boyfriend, darn he didnt find his right size shoes with me! Its a game that can be played at two and he didnt play a long time with me.

Hey I said that if violence is involved - then that is totaly wrong.

I have to pull you up on the - its her body - she can do what she likes argument.

Ok literlally you are correct - but no-one lives in a vacum. Most people DO have some sort of responsibility to others , wither this be your SO , your kids , your employers - whatever. Unfortunatley we all cannot just do what we like and damm the rest. That is a selfish attitude. If people want to post naked on the net - then surely they should have the decency to at least mention this to their other half first.

I would be very fucked off if my SO was posting naked on a web site without my prior knowledge - just as she would be if I was ( God forbid !! )

 

[Barely__There]

No one, no matter what their "provocation excuse" is entitled to beat on or abuse another.

A 'man' who would raise his fists to, kick, slap or otherwise injure the woman he claims to love, who is the mother of his children, has lost all right of fatherhood, and should be castrated and thrown in with "Big Jimmy" somewhere, to learn what it is like to be on the receiving end.

I hope your wife manages to disappear from your life, and that she can save your children from you too

 

[I'mVan]

This is not a thread about "abusive control", this is a pissing match.

You are probably right, it's hard to be objective. The individual involved took it upon himself to PM some members here at Lit, discussing the womans personal information and his side of the story. It was important that these people had a chance to see the other side too. Without knowing who they were a thread the only means of communication.

However it's a contoversial issue, and bound to raise heated debate. Then it gets personal . . .

 

[one_gr8_guy]

You guys are forgetting the most important thing.

The children it seems are the ones suffering here. Sure the children have their mom and this new guy that momma found on the porn site. But how do you think their little hearts feel about not being able to see or even talk to daddy. They love their dad especially the little boy that mom never did much with because she admitted she couldnt control him. The poor kids miss their dad and all mom cares about is trying to get them to forget him. What mom doesnt realize is that daddy loves them so much that he cannot be expected to give up on them. If mom loved the kids as much as she says how could she possiby keep them from communicating with their dad. The mother is flattering herself if she thinks that her childrens father gives a shit about her or her sick online business. Not many would take someone like this back but most who truly love their children would die for them and any sickos that doubt that dont know who they are messin with.

 

[Debbie]

I don't think it is a pissing match at all.
f I was in this situation I would hope for a good friend like
I'mVan.

Most of you already know that my previous marriage was violent, he stalked me. Harrassed me, trespassed on my property, when he had access to the kids he would take them to our friends houses and slag off about me right in front of the kids.


There was nothing he wouldn't do to get his 'property' back.
As I'mVan has fairly stated there are always two sides to every story. In my case my ex did not think his behaviour was abusive.

When I did become involved with someone else after we separated (two years down the track) he stepped up the
stalking activity, and managed to find me when I moved to a nearby town in the middle of the night.

He would call my friends, my kids friends parents, anyone who knew me, slagging me off and trying to find out where I was and what I was doing. Finally the court suspended his access and he did not see his children for 18 months and then it was supervised only.

He still hates me and tries to make my life miserable.
I have moved on and have a good life, his kids are very happy and doing very well in school. It saddens me that he no longer sees them, but he was warned by the Judge if he continued in his behaviour his parental rights would be terminated.
He chose to continue.

Thank you again I'mVan for trying to help others realise
there are two sides to each story and for being the good, level headed person you are.

 

[k¡tty]

Re: You guys are forgetting the most important thing.

The children it seems are the ones suffering here. Sure the children have their mom and this new guy that momma found on the porn site. But how do you think their little hearts feel about not being able to see or even talk to daddy. They love their dad especially the little boy that mom never did much with because she admitted she couldnt control him. The poor kids miss their dad and all mom cares about is trying to get them to forget him. What mom doesnt realize is that daddy loves them so much that he cannot be expected to give up on them. If mom loved the kids as much as she says how could she possiby keep them from communicating with their dad. The mother is flattering herself if she thinks that her childrens father gives a shit about her or her sick online business. Not many would take someone like this back but most who truly love their children would die for them and any sickos that doubt that dont know who they are messin with.

I wouldn't deny how strong a parents love for their children is.

But can you say that you didn't harm your children by degrading your wife, their mother, in front of them?

Do you think that they won't carry emotional scars with them for the rest of their lives from the memories of daddy beating on mommy?

Take control of your own life. Seek counselling then become a great father.

 

[one_gr8_guy]

Think about it

I find it strange that people say things like "of course he is not going to say he beatsher", but yet they dont say of course she is not going to say she lies or cheats or does things to hurt her children. How much credibility does someone that has kids yet posts naked and degrading pictures of herself for thousands to see while her children are being told mommy is at work she is working all through the night she is so busy. Cmon people think about it dont be hypocrites dont think that one person ruins a marriage because it takes two we all know. I know the people in this situation and the only reason one would think stalking or anything like stalking is happening is because this gal is keeping her children from their father. By the way ask the three kids where they wished they were at, If this husband is so horrible do you really think the kids would say we wann live with daddy.

 

[whatalady]

Whoa.....this is really a subject for those who know what is going on. I would however like to add my opinion. Abusive relationships have no future, if you are being abused GET THE HELL OUT! But, then taking into account that there are two sides to every story. I have to wonder why was the wife posing for porn pictures and had boyfriends? That is no relationship either. Abusive or not she made the choice to stay, and do something with a pool que! Kind of kinky in my mind. Wonder if it was the husband's pool que? Now that is getting down right nasty!

 

[one_gr8_guy]

Cant we all just get along no more pain for anyone.

PM me now

 

[one_gr8_guy]

PM me now

If any of you have any advice on this situation please PM me I, being friends with all the parties involved may me able to help them if I just had a solution. My wife told me not to get involved in the mess but I have to try to help dont I???????????????

 

[kiwiwolf]

Re: What happened was wrong no matter how you cut it.

This woman lied to her husband and three children; told whem she was working really hard and that is why she always had to spend time away. This woman was actually at her place of working taking pornographic pictures of herself. Posting plain nude pictures of yourself for thousands to see without your husband enen having an inkling and lying to your children to do it is wrong, sticking a poolcue up your pussy and ass on the same table your children crawl on and play on is downright disgusting. Every argument and problem involves more than one, everyone has the right to move on and find new people marriage is no longer sacred to most, but taking your children away from their father whom they adore because you want a new more adventorous guy is terrible. This gal should move on let her children give and receive love from the man who will always be their father and everything else will be fine. You cannot expect a loving father to just let his kids leave and not communicate without getting angry. Put yourselves in the shoes of everyone involved especially the kids who have always truly loved their daddy. Peace

You need help... or a fucking good slapping.

 

[one_gr8_guy]

Bring it on

ok so kiwi You are from New Zealand hmm the same place as I,mVan makes me wonder if you share a brain. I will tell you what I will do you can email me or whatever and if you think you are man enough to give me a slapping I would be glad to let you try. You know nothing of this couples situation, I do not blame you for taking the sides of your porn site friends I would do the same thing. You are wrong in making threats to me for speaking my opinion, violence will never help. If you are a true friend you will try to help in a more constructive way than making threats. If you really do wanna slap me bring it on I probably shit bigger than you!

 

[Blackbich]

I don't know the specifics about the situation and I don't need to know. If the woman is being physically and/or emotionally abused, she needs to get out. If there are children involved, she needs to get them out as well. There is never an excuse for raising your hand to another person, I'm sorry. I don't care if the wife was fucking people on the porn site and had the pictures rolling on hubbie's computer, there's no excuse. If hubby is working so hard that it's causing him that much stress that he has to beat the hell out of his wife and kids, he needs got get another damn job. Wife did the right thing getting the hell out. Yes it may be hard on the children at first but children are a lot more aware than adults give them credit for. The children deserve better than that in their lives and they need to know there's a better way to be. If the situation was reversed, the husband was being abused by the wife...I'd say the exact same thing.

And to all the women who have been in an abusive situation and have gotten out, I commend you. You are all very brave and strong women. To the women who are trying to get out of it now...stay strong and get out. You deserve so much better.

 

[Cheyenne]

Re: Think about it

Cmon people think about it dont be hypocrites dont think that one person ruins a marriage because it takes two we all know.

No, we DON'T all "know" that it takes two. It only takes one person to ruin a marriage if that one person is abusive, either physically or verbally. Under your assumption that it takes two, the person being abused would have had to do something to deserve the abuse. There is no such thing as a person who deserves abuse of any kind.

She did the right thing to leave him and get the children away from him. Let a court decide if he is fit to be around the children.

 

[Mia62]

Re: Re: Think about it

No, we DON'T all "know" that it takes two. It only takes one person to ruin a marriage if that one person is abusive, either physically or verbally. Under your assumption that it takes two, the person being abused would have had to do something to deserve the abuse. There is no such thing as a person who deserves abuse of any kind.

She did the right thing to leave him and get the children away from him. Let a court decide if he is fit to be around the children.

The court gave HER full custody along with a restraining order AGAINST him....

'nuff said.

btw...If I were you, "friend" of the accused, I would concentrate on helping my friend find good counselling along with an anger management program.

That is what is "best for the children"...not a father who harasses their mother and feeds thoughts into the children's minds about how bad their mother is.

 

[kiwiwolf]

Re: Bring it on

ok so kiwi You are from New Zealand hmm the same place as I,mVan makes me wonder if you share a brain. I will tell you what I will do you can email me or whatever and if you think you are man enough to give me a slapping I would be glad to let you try. You know nothing of this couples situation, I do not blame you for taking the sides of your porn site friends I would do the same thing. You are wrong in making threats to me for speaking my opinion, violence will never help. If you are a true friend you will try to help in a more constructive way than making threats. If you really do wanna slap me bring it on I probably shit bigger than you!

LMAO... munchkin you aint got the nuts to come up against me. Yeah I'm from NZ and I have met I'm Van... he's a hell of a guy.

You talk big on the net but remember you were the first to throw out the threats... Now grow some real balls and leave her alone you fucking wimp.

 

[freakygirl]

You claim to be a friend of theirs, happyguy10000... but

Your posts tell differently. You posted threads to lure her into talking/flirting with you. And you call yourself a man?

 

[kiwiwolf]

You claim to be a friend of theirs, happyguy10000... but

Your posts tell differently. You posted threads to lure her into talking/flirting with you. And you call yourself a man?

He can call himself anything he wants Freaky... truth of the matter is that he is a gutless piece of shit. Anyone who would go after a lady the way he has is bad enough but to drag the kids in is pathetic.

He has established his credentials here. Anybody with half a brain can see him for what he is. A pathetic loser who needs to be slapped upside his festering mellon on a regular basis, and never allowed to father children again.

 

[S.Daedalus]

I had something to say here..

but argggg...


thought better of myself.

I hope you are doing well I'mVan. I've been there...if you care to talk...

~>SD<~

 

[one_gr8_guy]

you are confused

I would like to respond to Mia. You are not right with your facts. The court did not give this gal full custody and the court as of right now know nothing of this gentlemans side of the story. I believe when the courts finally make her come back for the temporary custody hearing things will be changed. One cannot do the things this person has done and not suffer the consequences. And by the way the children were never harmed and the father was never even accused by anyone of harming them. On that topic this gal has no proof that she was being abused you would think if she had been a picture or 2 of some sort of abuse would be available. We all know that this gal had a camera right and was very good at using the timer on it to take pictures of herself. If you dont I will show you. The restraining order was supposedly filed because of the terrible beating this gal took, is what confuses me is that the 25 or so pictures of her immediately after the alledged incident show absolutely nothing and the pictures were taken by the chief of police. When a person claims in a written statement that she was choked hit repeatedly in the face and kicked the same way, had clumps of hair pulled out etc. dont you all think the pictures would show something? It kind of makes you wonder of this persons credibility! I know it sure made all the police and others ? it.