A sissy's confession

panty_chap

Virgin
Joined
Nov 17, 2022
Posts
140
I have in the past referred to myself as a reluctant sissy. What I mean by that is, in everyday life I rarely have any desires along those lines. It's not that I try to hide the desire to be a sissy, it truly doesn't exist.

For years I thought it was just a kink. The lingerie, the chats, webcams, all just kinky thrills but not who I truly was. But then something will happen that makes me realize there's more to it than that. As I was being brought to the realization it's not just a kink, there was one thing that I felt exposed me the most.

I had someone on fetlife who was a cyberdom. He encouraged me to do a couple things I didn't think I'd enjoy, but I'd enjoy doing them for someone if that makes any sense. The submission would be fun. Or maybe the humiliation/embarrassment of it. After getting me to accept that I wasn't "straight" he led me down a path to being more of a sissy. One of those things was I had to start training myself to receive pleasure in ways other than direct stimulation. I was to start anal training.

I had used toys before, but the thrill wasn't in how they felt, it was in allowing myself to be penetrated. When this person suggested I needed to get stimulation only though allowing myself to be penetrated, I agreed because the idea of allowing it was exciting. I bought a remote controlled vibrator especially for the upcoming tasks, and later I added a basic plug.

The vibrator was slightly larger than other toys I had used, and at first somewhat hard to accept, but with patience I was able to get there. The feeling was strange but the main thing for me was the fact I had done it. Followed suggestion. Been an obedient sissy.

The vibrations felt nice too of course. I would post a link to control the vibrator so random people could give me a thrill. The surprise when it would jump to life was fun, as was the pattern they would choose to use with me. And that's when I realized my body would betray me. As much as I told myself that the enjoyment was in doing something I didn't like simply because I was being submissive, I found that the wet spots in the front of my panties were bigger than usual. It was hard to deny I like the sensation of being penetrated (and shaken) when my panties were getting wet.

And they were getting SO wet. I never came but there were times when they were wetter than if I had. The flow of pre-cum was so heavy I could actually feel it moving through me. I loved it. No control. My body betraying my thoughts that I didn't like it. Of course I liked it.

I liked being fucked by a vibrator. With experience it got easier to slide in. I got to the point where just inserting it was enough to force pre-cum into my panties.

After one early session, I removed the vibrator but could still it's effect. It felt good even after pulling it out. I was hooked.

So now, in my every day "straight" life I can't believe that I like anal sex, but I know that if something were to penetrate me my moan would be pleasure.

I can't deny it. The wet spot on the front of my panties would give it away. I'm a sissy who wants to get fucked. Who wants to feel a vibrator or dildo or cock sliding into my lubricated sissy pussy. I can't believe I'm typing this, I would never admit it in everyday life, but it's true.
 
I have in the past referred to myself as a reluctant sissy. What I mean by that is, in everyday life I rarely have any desires along those lines. It's not that I try to hide the desire to be a sissy, it truly doesn't exist.

For years I thought it was just a kink. The lingerie, the chats, webcams, all just kinky thrills but not who I truly was. But then something will happen that makes me realize there's more to it than that. As I was being brought to the realization it's not just a kink, there was one thing that I felt exposed me the most.

I had someone on fetlife who was a cyberdom. He encouraged me to do a couple things I didn't think I'd enjoy, but I'd enjoy doing them for someone if that makes any sense. The submission would be fun. Or maybe the humiliation/embarrassment of it. After getting me to accept that I wasn't "straight" he led me down a path to being more of a sissy. One of those things was I had to start training myself to receive pleasure in ways other than direct stimulation. I was to start anal training.

I had used toys before, but the thrill wasn't in how they felt, it was in allowing myself to be penetrated. When this person suggested I needed to get stimulation only though allowing myself to be penetrated, I agreed because the idea of allowing it was exciting. I bought a remote controlled vibrator especially for the upcoming tasks, and later I added a basic plug.

The vibrator was slightly larger than other toys I had used, and at first somewhat hard to accept, but with patience I was able to get there. The feeling was strange but the main thing for me was the fact I had done it. Followed suggestion. Been an obedient sissy.

The vibrations felt nice too of course. I would post a link to control the vibrator so random people could give me a thrill. The surprise when it would jump to life was fun, as was the pattern they would choose to use with me. And that's when I realized my body would betray me. As much as I told myself that the enjoyment was in doing something I didn't like simply because I was being submissive, I found that the wet spots in the front of my panties were bigger than usual. It was hard to deny I like the sensation of being penetrated (and shaken) when my panties were getting wet.

And they were getting SO wet. I never came but there were times when they were wetter than if I had. The flow of pre-cum was so heavy I could actually feel it moving through me. I loved it. No control. My body betraying my thoughts that I didn't like it. Of course I liked it.

I liked being fucked by a vibrator. With experience it got easier to slide in. I got to the point where just inserting it was enough to force pre-cum into my panties.

After one early session, I removed the vibrator but could still it's effect. It felt good even after pulling it out. I was hooked.

So now, in my every day "straight" life I can't believe that I like anal sex, but I know that if something were to penetrate me my moan would be pleasure.

I can't deny it. The wet spot on the front of my panties would give it away. I'm a sissy who wants to get fucked. Who wants to feel a vibrator or dildo or cock sliding into my lubricated sissy pussy. I can't believe I'm typing this, I would never admit it in everyday life, but it's true.
Thanks for telling us your story so fully. "I'm a sissy who wants to get fucked" sums it all up
 
I have in the past referred to myself as a reluctant sissy. What I mean by that is, in everyday life I rarely have any desires along those lines. It's not that I try to hide the desire to be a sissy, it truly doesn't exist.

For years I thought it was just a kink. The lingerie, the chats, webcams, all just kinky thrills but not who I truly was. But then something will happen that makes me realize there's more to it than that. As I was being brought to the realization it's not just a kink, there was one thing that I felt exposed me the most.

I had someone on fetlife who was a cyberdom. He encouraged me to do a couple things I didn't think I'd enjoy, but I'd enjoy doing them for someone if that makes any sense. The submission would be fun. Or maybe the humiliation/embarrassment of it. After getting me to accept that I wasn't "straight" he led me down a path to being more of a sissy. One of those things was I had to start training myself to receive pleasure in ways other than direct stimulation. I was to start anal training.

I had used toys before, but the thrill wasn't in how they felt, it was in allowing myself to be penetrated. When this person suggested I needed to get stimulation only though allowing myself to be penetrated, I agreed because the idea of allowing it was exciting. I bought a remote controlled vibrator especially for the upcoming tasks, and later I added a basic plug.

The vibrator was slightly larger than other toys I had used, and at first somewhat hard to accept, but with patience I was able to get there. The feeling was strange but the main thing for me was the fact I had done it. Followed suggestion. Been an obedient sissy.

The vibrations felt nice too of course. I would post a link to control the vibrator so random people could give me a thrill. The surprise when it would jump to life was fun, as was the pattern they would choose to use with me. And that's when I realized my body would betray me. As much as I told myself that the enjoyment was in doing something I didn't like simply because I was being submissive, I found that the wet spots in the front of my panties were bigger than usual. It was hard to deny I like the sensation of being penetrated (and shaken) when my panties were getting wet.

And they were getting SO wet. I never came but there were times when they were wetter than if I had. The flow of pre-cum was so heavy I could actually feel it moving through me. I loved it. No control. My body betraying my thoughts that I didn't like it. Of course I liked it.

I liked being fucked by a vibrator. With experience it got easier to slide in. I got to the point where just inserting it was enough to force pre-cum into my panties.

After one early session, I removed the vibrator but could still it's effect. It felt good even after pulling it out. I was hooked.

So now, in my every day "straight" life I can't believe that I like anal sex, but I know that if something were to penetrate me my moan would be pleasure.

I can't deny it. The wet spot on the front of my panties would give it away. I'm a sissy who wants to get fucked. Who wants to feel a vibrator or dildo or cock sliding into my lubricated sissy pussy. I can't believe I'm typing this, I would never admit it in everyday life, but it's true.
That is so cool. I can totally relate and completely understand what you are feeling.
 
I have in the past referred to myself as a reluctant sissy. What I mean by that is, in everyday life I rarely have any desires along those lines. It's not that I try to hide the desire to be a sissy, it truly doesn't exist.

For years I thought it was just a kink. The lingerie, the chats, webcams, all just kinky thrills but not who I truly was. But then something will happen that makes me realize there's more to it than that. As I was being brought to the realization it's not just a kink, there was one thing that I felt exposed me the most.

I had someone on fetlife who was a cyberdom. He encouraged me to do a couple things I didn't think I'd enjoy, but I'd enjoy doing them for someone if that makes any sense. The submission would be fun. Or maybe the humiliation/embarrassment of it. After getting me to accept that I wasn't "straight" he led me down a path to being more of a sissy. One of those things was I had to start training myself to receive pleasure in ways other than direct stimulation. I was to start anal training.

I had used toys before, but the thrill wasn't in how they felt, it was in allowing myself to be penetrated. When this person suggested I needed to get stimulation only though allowing myself to be penetrated, I agreed because the idea of allowing it was exciting. I bought a remote controlled vibrator especially for the upcoming tasks, and later I added a basic plug.

The vibrator was slightly larger than other toys I had used, and at first somewhat hard to accept, but with patience I was able to get there. The feeling was strange but the main thing for me was the fact I had done it. Followed suggestion. Been an obedient sissy.

The vibrations felt nice too of course. I would post a link to control the vibrator so random people could give me a thrill. The surprise when it would jump to life was fun, as was the pattern they would choose to use with me. And that's when I realized my body would betray me. As much as I told myself that the enjoyment was in doing something I didn't like simply because I was being submissive, I found that the wet spots in the front of my panties were bigger than usual. It was hard to deny I like the sensation of being penetrated (and shaken) when my panties were getting wet.

And they were getting SO wet. I never came but there were times when they were wetter than if I had. The flow of pre-cum was so heavy I could actually feel it moving through me. I loved it. No control. My body betraying my thoughts that I didn't like it. Of course I liked it.

I liked being fucked by a vibrator. With experience it got easier to slide in. I got to the point where just inserting it was enough to force pre-cum into my panties.

After one early session, I removed the vibrator but could still it's effect. It felt good even after pulling it out. I was hooked.

So now, in my every day "straight" life I can't believe that I like anal sex, but I know that if something were to penetrate me my moan would be pleasure.

I can't deny it. The wet spot on the front of my panties would give it away. I'm a sissy who wants to get fucked. Who wants to feel a vibrator or dildo or cock sliding into my lubricated sissy pussy. I can't believe I'm typing this, I would never admit it in everyday life, but it's true.
You are most definitely not alone my feminine friend. As a middle aged man, feeling like I have finally touched/ found the woman who has been inside of me trying to get out is such an amazing experience. From my closet to yours, cheers 🍻
 
I am a reluctant sissy who would be horrified to admit it in person to someone, but know that I have that side of me. Put me in lingerie, take control, and I feel duty bound to serve and entertain.
The quote is from a post in another thread, but as I got into it I realized this didn't really fit that one and it might make more sense here.

I had backed off of my sissy tendencies lately, telling myself it was a fetish, not a real desire. I never saw a guy in real life and had a desire to submit after all. And I never saw a woman and thought she'd enjoy being with a guy in panties. It was just a fun little fantasy.

Then on New Year's Eve I decided to slip into panties after showering, because why not? As the night went on I realized how much I enjoy the feel of panties, both physically and emotionally. That's real, so I should wear them more. I've worn them every day since. I've started the process of removing body hair again (yes, for me it's a process.) I even started to pay attention to how men were looking at me - it seems there are signs I am blind to but shouldn't be. I should at least try to be aware if I should be showing more of my sissy side to someone who might be interested in me.

This morning my wife saw me in panties for the first time in quite a while. She "caught" me I suppose, but I have been doing things with a risk of being caught so it wasn't a shock. I did playfully cover up when I saw her though.

She asked why I was in panties (not in a bad way, she was smiling) and I told he about wearing them on New Year's and recalling how fun they were. She asked if I was embarrassed about being in them. I said yes, a little. She asked why I was embarrssed. I wasn't expecting that.

It's the little things, but I took that as a sign to keep going. My panties aren't hidden in my drawer anymore, they are out in the open where she will see them whenever she opens it. I put them in the normal laundry instead of washing them when she's not around.

I'm planning on referring to myself as her sissy husband to see how she reacts. When I first openly wore them she asked if she was turing me gay. I aid no, maybe a sissy but not gay. She didn't react at all. She may not have understood. But I think it may be time to tell her I'm open to serving a male... her sissy husband is a potential cocksucker. And not against being pegged/fucked. And by "not against" I mean yes please.

Or maybe I'll wait for that, I'm thinking I may explore the possibilites of her buying me things to wear, and not just panties.

Yeah, sure. It's just a fun little fetish. Uh huh...
 
Glad your wife seems to understand you. It’s a journey for both of you. Keep talking to her and keep her involved. Best of luck!
 
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