A question

[ceris01]

Hello all, I have been around for a little while now and have learned a great deal from you guys but I am a little bit confused and I am hoping that you can help clear a couple of things for me.

Now I'm pretty sure after reading a few threads that this question is going to attract all sorts of arguments but I am going to ask it anyway!

It concerns some of the titles of dom/mes and subs in both directions.

I am finding myself leaning towards the sub side of things, what I mean is I find bringing pleasure to a women is of more concern than my pleasure. I am not very interested in pain or humiliation, but I find the idea of being bound and used an incredible turn on, as well as what some seem to describe as pussy worship.

So my question is with the labels and titles people use, I get the impression that a mistress is more about reward and pleasure whereas a domme is more about pain and humiliation, also I get the impression that a submissive man is looking to provide that pleasure and a slave is more likely to enjoy the pain and humiliation.

Is this a fair assumption of these roles? Would you find a mistress with a sub and a domme with a slave?

Does the same apply for male doms? Is a daddy dom less likely to use humiliation and pain than say a full on dom?

I look forward to your thoughts on the matter and I apologise if I am repeating previous threads but I am useless with the search function.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[kittiGoddess]

iAm new to this but I am finding that everybody else's rules don't always apply, call yourselves what you want, sub/slave DOmme/mistress does it matter what we call you, it is what you feel, negotiations it with your partner and have fun- define your selves Just be happy and fulfilled

 

[BabblingBrooke]

Labels are relevant and meaningful within your relationship. That said, one couple's "Sir" or "Ma'am" may be extremely similar in nature to another couple's "Master" or "Mistress." I recently discovered these acronyms here at Lit: PYL/pyl (pick your label). This is simply perfect. There are no set terms; you and your partner choose together.

Edit: I am confused by your question in which you distinguish between a "Daddy Dom" and a "full on Dom." Daddy Doms are doms. There really is no need to consider them less than. Really, every relationship can have its own spin on the terminology.

 

[NE_openguy]

I personally don't think any relationship should have a guidebook. It should be what the 2 people (or more), make of it. Open dialogue between the involved so that each gets from it, and gives to it, the energy it needs to flourish.

 

[LWulf]

Like I think many have said, don't fret the name stuff.

One man's turtle dove is another man's turkey vulture.

That said, I'm the sort of guy that shoots from the hip, so to answer your question directly, YES, Mommie dom's would be less likely towards pain and humiliation while a Domme would be more inclined.

My gut feeling is that the qualities you describe about yourself, would be that you are more inclined to be a "little" or perhaps a "bottom" rather than a sub, but ymmv*. However, people put labels on themselves that don't make any sense and you shouldn't rely solely on a label to find what you want.


*YMMV = Your Mileage May Vary

 

[ceris01]

Thank you for your replies, those links you sent Elle are great, taking a while to go through them but well written.

(I would quote you guys but haven't worked out how to quote multiples yet! )

To answer all of you, no it doesn't really matter to me what labels are used, it was just an impression I got from some of the threads, chats going on here and how best I might describe some of them. It is difficult as I'm sure you know to talk about with someone you've been with for a long time (nearly 20 years for us) but these forums have helped a lot and have provided some valuable help and ideas that we are both enjoying, like all of you have said that's what matters in the long run.

I like the idea of how I see the labels certainly concerning domme and mistress, it seems right in my gut. But I just have to say thanks wolf for adding the extras at the end, I'm not even going to ask about littles and bottoms lol!

Thanks again for your excellent replies and a big thanks for not flaming at me! this is still one of the most friendly forums I have ever encountered.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[LWulf]

... this is still one of the most friendly forums I have ever encountered.

Giggles uncontrollably.

I would quote you guys but haven't worked out how to quote multiples yet!

To quote multiple people, look in the bottom right corner of each reply. You will see:

Quote (and) +"

click the +" to however many replies as you like (you should see it turn red-ish). If you click one by accident, just click it again to turn it off.