A question for the straight men

[InsatiableDsire]

If a lady doesn't hear from you (text, phone, whatever) the day after sex, is it safe to assume you were underwhelmed?

 

[JudasIscariot]

Not necessarily

It all depends on what a guy is after

If for instance he just wanted to fuck and nothing more he won't call

I highly doubt it would be due to the standard of sex, as if there was a connection between him and her, the sex part can be fixed in time, I would never not call or text someone based on the sex alone

 

[C5MiGuy]

No. It is not safe to assume that.

Here's the deal. We've been told: Don't get too clingy, dont get too needy, don't get too close too soon. So we may not call the next day, because, that's what you have told us to (not) do.

You can't keep changing the rules on us! Do you, or do you not want us to call the next day?

 

[jordanp76]

I would put it a little differently. If a guy is blown away by the sex, it is nearly certain that you will hear from him the next day.

 

[Shadowmist99]

No. It is not safe to assume that.

Here's the deal. We've been told: Don't get too clingy, dont get too needy, don't get too close too soon. So we may not call the next day, because, that's what you have told us to (not) do.

You can't keep changing the rules on us! Do you, or do you not want us to call the next day?

After sex I want to hear from you the next morning, afternoon, and evening. I want to know I'm on your mind and I'm important. But that's just me.

 

[C5MiGuy]

After sex I want to hear from you the next morning, afternoon, and evening. I want to know I'm on your mind and I'm important. But that's just me.

Well then then the memo needs to get out. Because for the past 20 years we've been told that a phone call the next day indicates needy and clingy.

 

[Shadowmist99]

Well then then the memo needs to get out. Because for the past 20 years we've been told that a phone call the next day indicates needy and clingy.

Like I said. That was just me.

 

[Pondlife]

If a lady doesn't hear from you (text, phone, whatever) the day after sex, is it safe to assume you were underwhelmed?

From me it'd be safe to say that I was somewhere I couldn't communicate it'd maybe be worth checking hospitals. Seems more than rude to me and not one for playing silly don't call for x days games. It'd have to be pretty disastrous to think it couldn't improve, maybe if it had led to that hospital trip...
From some of my friends that's pretty much what I'd expect them to do.

Did you think it underwhelming?

 

[luvthedesserts]

If a lady doesn't hear from you (text, phone, whatever) the day after sex, is it safe to assume you were underwhelmed?

Understandably, a lot can be inferred by silence. But it doesn’t necessarily mean anything. It’s rather tough to underwhelm a guy. Unless he’s all sorts of screwed up in the head, we’re pretty simple. We want our turtle wet. That’s it. That’s the entire manual on guys and their needs.

Maybe he’s playing off the rulebook C5MiGuy mentioned or maybe he got what he wanted and is chasing down his next target. There’s no real reason the woman can’t call the guy. It doesn’t freak us out to know you had a good time and would like another go at it. We only get freaked out by the eighty-sixth text in less than two hours. Eighty-five is acceptable, but that last one is just way too freaky.

 

[cf23430]

If a lady doesn't hear from you (text, phone, whatever) the day after sex, is it safe to assume you were underwhelmed?

not at all....sometimes things just happen and he is not able to reach out to you,....all depnds on the circumstances.....maybe he was disappointed in himself and is afraid of reaching out to you and being rejected....might not be about you at all

 

[C5MiGuy]

It's also possible that he decided he didn't want to continue on with a (at least according to your profile) married woman for various reasons, and the sex was perfectly amazing.

 

[boutrosboutros]

Depends entirely on the guy and the girl. I don't really believe in playing it cool. If I'm into you, you'll know about it, though only to a point, obviously.

Somebody said the quality of sex isn't important and that's right. There was a girl who I was really into and ended up having a really passionate fling with, but the first time we had sex it wasn't great. It didn't matter - I was still texting her within hours. Likewise I've had great sex with a girl and then gone completely cold on her. (Not something I'm proud of, but it's happened.) So it's more a question of whether he likes this hypothetical person or not.

 

[InsatiableDsire]

It's also possible that he decided he didn't want to continue on with a (at least according to your profile) married woman for various reasons, and the sex was perfectly amazing.

I didn't say I was asking for me, but thanks for that opinion.

 

[devinity7]

After sex I want to hear from you the next morning, afternoon, and evening. I want to know I'm on your mind and I'm important. But that's just me.

I agree. Hell, send me a text after that says, "that f' was incredible!" lol I'm not sure a phone call constitutes clingy. I hate games and I feel if you want to talk to someone, talk to them. For anything to ever go beyond that first f' successfully, everyone should be who they really are and have no false pretenses.

 

[ejredlady]

I agree. Hell, send me a text after that says, "that f' was incredible!" lol I'm not sure a phone call constitutes clingy. I hate games and I feel if you want to talk to someone, talk to them. For anything to ever go beyond that first f' successfully, everyone should be who they really are and have no false pretenses.

I agree with ShadowMist: I want to hear from you the next day at least saying something, preferably complimentary.
I don't play games and am pretty upfront regarding my desires and don't understand why I would need to make that next contact, especially when it leads to further contact.

 

[ClassInAtl]

He's a guy - he may not even remember your name.

Remember - we are only God's rough draft

Seriously, there are too many possibilities to say anything for sure.

 

[Cycliste]

God, I don't know. This has only ever happened to me once, and I never did catch the guy's name. So I wasn't expecting a call the next or any other day.

It took me quite a few tries and years to figure out that I needed to let the guy be the one to call. But that is just me. It's not that I'm clingy and needy, just the opposite in fact. I just called the wrong guys back. I ended up being the stronger person in terms of being responsible and taking care of things in the relationships. That was exactly what these guys wanted - an easy way for them to sit back on their ass. Once I learned that was "my type", I quickly decided to change it. I personally made a policy of not chasing or being the first to make the call. So if a woman decides to make the call, I would just caution her. Not to persuade her against it, but just to make her aware. Again, it was my own personal preference to meet my own needs. I am a modern woman but I believe there are some things to be said about keeping some of the old fashioned ways and chivalry. Some allow a man to be a man instead of a boy. Maybe I missed out on something because of it, but I certainly don't feel that way looking back at my dating days.

 

[kylekyte]

Yes or the brain shattering experience made him go mute

 

[kylekyte]

Then again I've made the opposite mistake and called too many times. (Sigh)

 

[NotHisLady]

Oh for heaven's sake!

If I'm sleeping with you then obviously we've been communicating for a while. Why would this suddenly make the situation so damnation delicate?
Clingy and needy are things I would think about someone I don't KNOW and I can assure you that I am not going to be sleeping with someone I don't KNOW.

Beyond that how often do you usually call or text? Is she the kind of lady who would appreciate a little extra note about the 'lovely evening' you had? (I know I am.)
Be a gentleman and use common sense. All this agonizing is what comes of moving too quickly with someone you don't know well enough to begin with.

(This is, of course, only my opinion.)

 

[C5MiGuy]

Oh for heaven's sake!

If I'm sleeping with you then obviously we've been communicating for a while. Why would this suddenly make the situation so damnation delicate?
Clingy and needy are things I would think about someone I don't KNOW and I can assure you that I am not going to be sleeping with someone I don't KNOW.

Beyond that how often do you usually call or text? Is she the kind of lady who would appreciate a little extra note about the 'lovely evening' you had? (I know I am.)
Be a gentleman and use common sense. All this agonizing is what comes of moving too quickly with someone you don't know well enough to begin with.

(This is, of course, only my opinion.)

I think (I know I was) we were operating under the assumption that this was a somewhat hurried into the bed relationship. 1st or 2nd date encounter. In my case, by the time it gets around to being the dance with no pants, the next day she won't be getting a call or text, because we will be having breakfast or brunch together. So there won't be a question of why didn't he call.

 

[GiggLeGasm]

Oh for heaven's sake!

If I'm sleeping with you then obviously we've been communicating for a while. Why would this suddenly make the situation so damnation delicate?
Clingy and needy are things I would think about someone I don't KNOW and I can assure you that I am not going to be sleeping with someone I don't KNOW.

Beyond that how often do you usually call or text? Is she the kind of lady who would appreciate a little extra note about the 'lovely evening' you had? (I know I am.)
Be a gentleman and use common sense. All this agonizing is what comes of moving too quickly with someone you don't know well enough to begin with.

(This is, of course, only my opinion.)

(This is my opinion too)

 

[SassySheDevil]

After sex I want to hear from you the next morning, afternoon, and evening. I want to know I'm on your mind and I'm important. But that's just me.

This.

When guys don't call, women assume the worst, which I'm guessing is why the original question was asked.

 

[smotherman]

Depends on the guy and the girl. If we have any kind ofl connection aside from physical, yes she'll hear from me the day after.

 

[Pinktacokitty]

Depends entirely on the guy and the girl. I don't really believe in playing it cool. If I'm into you, you'll know about it, though only to a point, obviously.

I feel the same way......I have been known to text a guy a quick 'had fun last night'......