A question for the ladies

[Hitchhiker]

After Wildsweetones thread directed at us men.

Here's a question for the ladies.
What sort of stimulation gets you going the most. Start from the beginning.

 

[Hitchhiker]

Come girls this al vital piece of imformation.
What stimulation goets you hot to trot

 

[VeraGem]

Tongue in cheek

It doesn't look like it's going to be that easy Hitch. Maybe the secret here is to try something and see...

 

[Sabledrake]

Mental stimulation above all else. The rest will follow.

Sabledrake

 

[KillerMuffin]

A good fantasy. But "good" changes every time.

 

[wildsweetone]

ok i'll see if i can do justice to this...

a woman, generally speaking (please forgive me ladies), has many facets. one day she wants romance, the next rampant raging sex without fuss.

for me, the stimulation of speech and thought has it hands down.

to verbally play with my partner, some light teasing and/or innuendoes has certain effects on my physical body which relate directly to sexual stimulation. Increased heart beat, blood pressure rise, that intense bodily throbbing, increased arousal awareness etc. and all that without being actually touched.

i love being able to use my imagination, that makes the stimulation perfect and sharp edged.

as for romance... how do i explain that a wild flower from the roadside has as much if not more meaning than an expensive bouquet?

a warm and loving hug is much preferrable to one where i can tell my partner is still mentally sifting through paper at work even though his arms are holding me.

for me, men don't have to fall over themselves or make huge impressions, being open and honest and up front counts more than what kind of car they have or how much money is stashed away in their bank accounts.

hmmm car... well, i'm not opposed to a nice looking sporty number though. *wicked wink*

what i'm trying to convey here is that for women, there's a huge variety of ways you can stimulate her. skilfully getting her to use all her senses is a good beginning, getting her mind involved means you're almost all the way, even without having touched her.

a whisper,
a steamy look,
a caress,
a hug,
a flower,
a gift, but it doesn't have to cost you anything to get you the same amount of points... do i make much sense here?

 

[Guest]

I suppose that a hunk with a thumb and a bedroll might do something for a wild wild woman. - Or maybe a real turn on would be a wild night with a gladius swinging woman - depends which way you swing.
YKW

 

[Whispersecret]

To start at the very beginning...

I know it's not fair, but women keep score. And you other ladies, feel free to disagree. Maybe I'm the only one who does. But honestly, if you criticize me at some point during the day, you better make it up some other way before you want to get laid. In order for me to feel like I want to share my body with you, I have to feel like you cherish and appreciate me. Even if you think, "Oh, she KNOWS I love her," you still have to show it every day.

Five little things can score you more points than one big thing. For example, if you bring me my coffee in the morning, do the dishes, call me just to say you love me, ask me how my day was and listen when I tell you, all those teensy things can mean much more than if you take me out for lobster and champagne.

I'll address what to do with me once you've got me willing next time. RIght now I have to go saute some veggies for dinner.

 

[Hitchhiker]

Well ladies, I must say thankyou for giving your coments to this thread.(going to be dam hard to incorporate into my writing though)

So cheek has got me into a woman arms more times than my looks!!!

That should give all the ordinary guys out there, at least some confidence.

By the way I'm no hunk with a bed roll, just an ordinary chap who's done been and seen, many fantastic things. Stood on land that no other has, and got wet cold and down right P'd off at times.
But all in all it was worth it, just to meet the ladies. Who found my voice sexy, the bunches of wild flowers romantic and the fruits picked fresh from the tree's out in the forest, seductive.

But the best was the Green Lipped muscles in NZ. Wildsweetone knows what I mean. If you would like to know PM me and I'll send you the story. Never know I might even put it in the romantic section.!!!
Keep the data coming the guys will read this and learn or go totaly mad trying to understand the objest of their desires.

So saying "Drop your cotton and I'll fuck you rotten" is not a good chat up line in the supermarket or disco.

 

[wildsweetone]

it might depend who's saying it dear and if the hubby was within earshot!

ok so i just tore my reputation to threads... well, hell, it's all fantasy aint it?


whisper... i know what you mean about the criticize thing ohhhh so well. for the life of me i can't get sexually interested in someone who verbally abuses me.

 

[wildsweetone]

ohhh hitchhiker!!!

green lipped mussles ohhhh yummmmmm

i adore any seafood. did you get some of our Bluff oysters while you were here?

...damn i think i'm drooling...

think tender loving care, harmless mischief, and rampant lovin hitchhiker, that may help give you an idea of foreplayin with some of us.

 

[Hitchhiker]

drop the cliche

Come on lets have some real meat on this, yeh we know those bits lets have some of the little bits and pieces that make your world spin and the wantoness come flooding out, remember this is for artistic licence and erotic creativity.


Another bad chat up line "Drop your lace and sit on my face"
OR
"OK girls who's up for a free moustache ride???"

Yes I do have one and its ginger, Wild has seen it!!!!!
Bluff Oysters yeh raw with Worcester sause and a squeeze of lemon, picked straight from the sea bed and straight down the gullet.
How about Powa(Abalone) shell or Pipis'

 

[wildsweetone]

hot damn, did you have to mention facial hair?

teasing, i love to be teased

 

[Suzi]

Hmmmmmmmm...Let me think!

I gotta say I have to agree with the idea of mentally stimulating someone....but...I also can be erotically stimulated when I flirt with a handsome stranger acrossed the room....esp. if he has facial hair! Nothing like imagining a man's beard and mustache brushing the sensitive soft skin on the inner thigh...wooooooooooo hoooooooooooo! Of course the next stimulating thing is to be introduced to that same stranger, and touch his hand via a handshake....or a brush of warm lips on the cheek....If I know the man, then kissing is definitely the quickest way to get me wet and wild....

Wow! Getting turned on just writing this! Satisfied Hitch? LOL

Hornily yours

Suzi

 

[mlyn]

Not many women replied, huh?

I think every woman has a secret fantasy. She keeps it buried deep inside and brings it out only once in a while... when she is alone, and feels the tingling, fullness, restless urges rising up inside of her.

Sometimes, we get very lucky and can share that fantasy with a real world lover. But most of the time I think we are alone in our head, having sex with someone, even when you are married. It is hard to meet on the perfect plane where all things are shared and addressed.

I think that men think about sex at least once an hour. Women think about romance, closeness, shared emotions at least once an hour. They think about sex maybe once a day. Does a man ever think about romance with sex being the conclusion? One man said there is no other reason for romance except sex. Romance is special just for itself, even without sex. Especially without sex.

What's romantic without sex at the end? The next time you are both dead tired and sitting in front of the tv- you get up and get her a soda and something to eat without being asked... Just get up and say "hey- you look like you've had a rough day. I love you. How about I get you something to drink and snack on?"

 

[its Leslie]

A lot of fuss is made over the word "romance".

Its perhaps like the word "love", over used and poorly employed.

I love my wife.
That phrase is so painfully obvious, it isn't worth making any fuss over.

Romance is something that is always there when there is love. If the love is gone so isn't the romance.

What qualifies as romantic?

Virtually anything can be "romantic".

Normally fiction centers on more intense examples though. The mushy scenes are cliche' for a reason after all.
The nice sunset, or the candlelight dinner. The tickets to the sappy movie, or a dinner out. Sitting reading together with soft music, or a quiet walk together. They are all cliche' because they are the most obvious and best examples.

The other day while out walking I decided to buy my wife a snack. I for once actually had some friggin spending money available.
It was just a chocolate bar and a bottle of coke. I wasn't expecting anything from it other than thowing hit would make her happy.

Now the cool part is that while she wasn't originally up for it, she ended up escorting me upstairs for a quick fuck.

Now I know it has been said that romance doesn't have to end in fucking. I disagree though.
I didn't get married because I needed someone to help pay the bills. I wasn't just arranging to borrow her womb either. It has nothing to do with the mundane things that come along with being married. I got married because I am not afraid to be a sexual creature (and sex is a great deal easier when you are not alone).

The primary reason sex seems to be downplayed is because try as we may, people are still in love with the dogma. Sex isn't a bad thing. There is no reason to avoid it whatsoever. Its just a normal human bodily function. It just hapens to be a normal human bodily function we humans normally reserve for a special person is all.

Every time I do something romantic I am not expecting immediate sex as a response. But if there was no intent, I venture, there would be no point to the romance. I crave sex for the same reason I crave food. Its something that we all need. Romance is the icing on the sex is all. But I tend to refrain from just eating icing eh.

When writing about romance between a couple, remember, they are together, for basic human reasons.

 

[its Leslie]

It was just a chocolate bar and a bottle of coke. I wasn't expecting anything from it other than thowing hit would make her happy.
Correction

It was just a chocolate bar and a bottle of coke. I wasn't expecting anything from it other than "knowing it" would make her happy.

Why do damn errors always wait till after I post to show up heheh

 

[wildsweetone]

i'm willing to make a bet with you leslie...

it wasn't the gift that you'd bought your wife, it was the simple fact that what you gave her showed you had been thinking about her.

there's the romance.

also another little thought. it appears to me that lots of men know they love their wives. it's an automatic thought to you guys. but if you don't tell your wife occasionally, they WONT know you do. we DON'T go into mindreading mode.

but i do disagree with you. romance is not automatically there when love is.

hell, anyone can love. but romancing is an art.

 

[TheCyberPoet]

Romance and the dearth of emotion

Let's see if I can phrase this just right... And remember, although I am a male, it doesn't mean that I can't appreciate or desire romance (sometimes over sex, most times over everything else).

An old truism goes:
"A woman never feels herself truly beautiful until she sees her beauty reflected in the eyes of a man."

To be politically correct, or in the eyes another woman.

Either way, it is external reinforcement of a positive self-image that is desirable, but simultaneously a positive-image that is not internally taken for granted without outside reinforcement. Romance is the act of making that feeling of image reinforcement happen, in it's myriad of ways, be it a well paid compliment, a gift that says "you're special to me," or a home cooked meal, a certain look, or a wild flower plucked from the field. It is a reward system designed to further that self-conceptualization, and things which do are termed 'romantic'.

But, it is not limited to women; men can just as easily desire the same feedback, although rather than traditionally being a feedback on their beauty, they normally desire feedback on their desirability (and whatever aspects that requires for any individual male's ego -- strength, agility, intelligence, masculinity, decisiveness, power, whatever aspects are important to that particular male). Men are prone to feeling desirable (in terms of self-image) when a woman wants them sexually, so sex is a reinforcement of that self-image of male desirability... yet, it is not the only one. And it is why men often link romance with sex.

So, in an ideal situation, both parties are given their own postive-image reinforcement by each other. As a prior post noted, (in short): if you verbally abuse me, you're not getting laid. Verbal abuse is exactly the opposite of reinforcing that positive self-image.

Now, back to the original topic at hand: what turns a woman on?

If you look at all the answers, most boil down into a single catorgy: positive reinforcement. There are varieties in their methods, and once turned on, the answer changes to things more sexual in nature (looks, etc), but the first impetus must always be the same. One could extend that concept to say that for a woman, desire on her mate's part is a form of positive reinforcement (how hard it gets directly relates to her perception of her own sexuality in most cases, much to the happiness of the manufacturer of Viagra), but it has to start at a lower level -- the concept that to be with a man will make her beautiful, desirable, cherished and wanted. In relationships, this may be taken for granted (by prior groundwork in good cases, or overlooked altogether in bad cases).

Now to expand that to sexual realms:
Straight Sex: the image reinforcement has either happened as a part of the build-up, or has happened prior and the feelings are still there to permit desire.

Swinging/multi-partner sex: the woman already feels this positive-image because of either (a) her parter's feedback previously, or (b) she has developed an internalized concept that her desirability to others feeds that self-image.

BDSM: Even the concept of Domination centers on providing such feedback to a degree adequet to bond the slave to the Master.

Incest: No one makes you feel as special as 'Daddy'.

I think you get the picture
I welcome any woman's feedback on my concepts... here (although I rarely read the posts here) or via email (thecyberpoet@aol.com).

Best Wishes,
The CyberPoet

 

[its Leslie]

I will say it just to make sure it gets said.....

Very good comments cyber poet!!

 

[wildsweetone]

cyberpoet

very well said.

quote TheCyberPoet
'Now to expand that to sexual realms:
Straight Sex: the image reinforcement has either happened as a part of the build-up, or has happened prior and the feelings are still there to permit desire.'


IMHO you are right here also. that reinforcement has to still be there for desire to be able to move forward to sexual intercorse. any slight has the ability to stop the desire stone dead.