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A question for the guys

Kajira Callista said:
Why are so many men terrified of Dominating and hurting women who like that kinda stuff?
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The mindset that says woman deserve to be cared for and protected maybe??
 
Well, there is one woman I play with an dknow well, she can take the extremes, even craves it. With her, all bets are off.

With others, its a matter of getting to know her, of learning that she is not asking for somethign only to have it turn out wrong. We are brought up with ideals of "don't hit girls" or "the fairer sex" we have to unlearn some behaviors to realize that there are women who are tougher than they look and want to feel teh deep sensations.
 
Kajira Callista said:
Why are so many men terrified of Dominating and hurting women who like that kinda stuff?
Click to expand...

Hi KC

I think it is because a lot of us have been brought up with the teachings that hurting people (esp. women) is wrong and that no "sane" or "right minded" woman would enjoy that type of treatment. It also may be that some have been brought up to make sure they took care of other's needs first and since no "sane" or "right minded" woman could ever want that, they would not be meeting her needs.

I.E. too much vanilla in the recipe. :D
 
I'm not a man, but i do have a 99% majority of my friends that are male and as we wrestle and with KindderNacht make love i have come across this problem. ONe of the biggest reasons i've been told is not only upbringing but law. If the girl gets a bruise and mad at the guy she can call up the cops, claim abuse rape etc... and well, her word vs. his. Most likely she'll win.

Sad, but i have to agree with them. To many of the women i have met in person are backstabbers. IT could just be the people i've met, but with the girls we all know (my guy friends and i) i wouldnt blame them for being worried.

As for how to get over your upbringing. Sometimes it just takes the right person and a LOT of trust.
 
Because it goes against whats built into the identity of man-- or me. I am a protector. I will give a slap on the butt-- but to hurt-- that wouldn't be easy.
 
KC it also depends on the level of pain that we are being asked to inflict on the woman. In Feelfree's example I would assume its a none issue but what if she likes temperture play or something like wax play it might be harder for us to indulge her.
 
Kajira Callista said:
Why are so many men terrified of Dominating and hurting women who like that kinda stuff?
Click to expand...

A: Most people are not wired all that special in the dick. Basically, they aren't really given to more than some slap and tickle that ends in a wet dick. Sorry you serious submaso girls are just dating in the small dating pool. Like the rest of us hardwired perverts.
 
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I agree that it is due to upbringing and natural instinct. And as stated, too many can be backstabbing.

I think it becomes a something between a man and a woman where a huge trust level is developed and the man understands exactly what the woman wants. And he HAS to trust that the woman will tell him if her limits are being exceeded and she HAS to trust that he will stop. It's a fine line.
 
Don't forget my helping ;)

Then I'll be happy to kick your ass KC. Honest I will...

As soon as you're up to it that is
 
My bf has no problem being rough with me in bed. He's a Bad Boy who takes down anything that gets in his way. It's really too bad he likes boys more than he likes me.
 
Blushing Bottom said:
Is that before or after you whip my ass?

:rose:
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Before, during, and after BB. Part of this mindset I at have comes from normal society. Then what about the rest, maybe that comes from my desire to have a woman dominate me?? Not enough information for me to draw a accurate answer. Then you factor the paradox desire to also have complete control over them, I am a complete mess.
 
@}-}rebecca---- said:
A very articulate one at that Leeroy........smiles ............NOT flirting just stating a fact.
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Thank you Madam Rebecca, but if you wanted to flirt I do play nicely. :eek:
 
leeroy jenkins said:
Thank you Madam Rebecca, but if you wanted to flirt I do play nicely. :eek:
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Maybe you wanna move it to a flirt thread? I think you should have one just for you. :)
 
leeroy jenkins said:
Before, during, and after BB. Part of this mindset I at have comes from normal society. Then what about the rest, maybe that comes from my desire to have a woman dominate me?? Not enough information for me to draw a accurate answer. Then you factor the paradox desire to also have complete control over them, I am a complete mess.
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That is indeed a quandary, Leeroy.
 
ObsidianRose said:
That is indeed a quandary, Leeroy.
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I am sure just more experience will help me sort this out. Now will I be able to find a switch that wants to play??
 
Kajira Callista said:
Why are so many men terrified of Dominating and hurting women who like that kinda stuff?
Click to expand...

I would suggest it is usually due to the lack of experience with a true submissive.
 
OK so you are a sadist... and you know you arent supposed to hit girls (because your mom said so). How do you let go of that without going too far? Is it something you need to step by step learn...or do you just go at it?
 
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