a question for lit women ?

[mike2382]

im a 25y/o male who has been in a relationship for the past 6 1/2 years with my g/f. When she was younger she was molested by her stepdad for about 5yrs. Needless to say she has sexual issues. We hardly have any sexual contact anymore and when we do it is very "boring". i know this isnt her fault, and i have no intention on leaving her i love her more than anything. My question is am i wrong for trying to find some sexual relief on lit ? i am not sure how i feel on this but i have tried and had no luck on lit either, but i still feel alittle guilty. Any advise would be greatful.

 

[Katze]

You're in a complicated situation, and you're already having difficulties. It sounds like you two are very serious. I recommend you see a good counselor together. There are a lot of happily married/sexually unfulfilled folks visiting this site, and it's a sad and frustrating way to live. Rather than play on-line and risk her finding out and feeling betrayed again by someone close to her- sexual abuse is a huge betrayal - work this out with her. Although she's had a terrible past to deal with, it doesn't mean you don't get to have what you want from a relationship, too.

Good luck!

 

[OuiMonsieur13]

i agree with the advice above, and I'm also proud of you for not only being honest and asking such a serious question, but for loving her so much. Thank you, from all us ladies out there!

 

[mike2382]

something that i should of mentioned was that she is seeing a therapist and she was prescribed prozac which makes her "libedo" even less. do i need to just settle for the fact that the sexual part of my life will never be filled unless i find a way with out physically doin it with another person? maybe lit. or another site like lit. i dont know.

 

[LadyAria]

Why are you asking us if it is okay? Why don't you ask your sexually traumatized girlfriend how she feels about your "seeking sexual relief" from posting on an erotic literature/porn site talking to other women about how "boring" your sex is? Her answer is the only one that matters.

I'd personally be offended you were using my past abuse to fuel some personal justification to beat off to cyber whores.

Nothing honest in your question. Just selfish motives to sooth the rightful guilt.

Go talk to her if you really care.

 

[Katze]

something that i should of mentioned was that she is seeing a therapist and she was prescribed prozac which makes her "libedo" even less. do i need to just settle for the fact that the sexual part of my life will never be filled unless i find a way with out physically doin it with another person? maybe lit. or another site like lit. i dont know.

If you're not happy with the sexual part of the relationship, talk to her about it, and be prepared that it may be a dealbreaker. And don't fool yourself that it's not important to you because obviously, it is. People have low sex drives for all kinds of reasons. What really matters is that you're honest with yourself and honest with your girlfriend. Do this before you get married and start having kids! She deserves someone who is honest.

 

[Yourfavoritesub]

I agree with everything said so far

Maybe therapy isn't for you guys.
But at least tell her about your sexual tension.
I also have been dating the man of my dreams for 6 yrs.
I was on lit before we met and but i didn't tell him about it.
When he found out he felt bad because it's like finding out that the person you love needs more then you can provide.
But ever seen he found out,we have been happier,i guess i feel relieved about it...
And i also find it kinky when he says hey wanna go on lit?

 

[Eilan]

My question is am i wrong for trying to find some sexual relief on lit ? i am not sure how i feel on this but i have tried and had no luck on lit either, but i still feel alittle guilty. Any advise would be greatful.

If you think/know that your GF would be hurt if she discovered your posts, then what you're doing is wrong. And basically everything that LadyAria said.

Perhaps your GF could talk to her therapist about changing anti-depressants to something with fewer sexual side effects?

 

[DrHappy]

I'm a guy, but I do have two comments:

... she is seeing a therapist and she was prescribed prozac which makes her "libedo" even less...

You may check with her doctor about adjusting or changing her medication. Wellubutrin is an antidepressant which actually increases libido in some people. Some doctors will prescribe this drug in conjunction with (or as a replacement for) another antidepressant which is causing libido problems. I personally know someone who was taking Lexapro (similar to Prozac) which caused libido problems. The doctor then prescribed Wellbutrin in addition to the Lexapro and her libido returned to normal. However, monkeying around with her medications could cause a relapse in her depression, so that it a risk to consider. Wellbutrin is also more likely to cause insomnia, so it's not a risk free thing to try. Her doctor may have other reasons for not wanting to try it. You might consider looking into it.

...My question is am i wrong for trying to find some sexual relief on lit ?

It depends on what exactly you mean by "sexual relief on lit". If you hinting at reading erotic stories at lit? I think that most people would be fine with that. Or are you suggesting that you may actually try to start a long distance sexual relationship with someone here? I think that more people would be less sympathetic with this.

 

[Eilan]

It depends on what exactly you mean by "sexual relief on lit". If you hinting at reading erotic stories at lit? I think that most people would be fine with that. Or are you suggesting that you may actually try to start a long distance sexual relationship with someone here? I think that more people would be less sympathetic with this.

The OP has started a shitload of threads on the Personals board, if that helps.

You do bring up a good point, though, about "sexual relief" also possibly taking the form of reading erotic stories. I'll admit that I interpreted it as cyber/phone/cam.

To the OP: FWIW, you may not have much luck looking for "sexual relief" on other "adult" sites, either. I was once active on AdultFriendFinder (yeah, it may be a scam for the most part, but I did meet people from there) and even on AFF, some, but not all, women avoid men who are married or otherwise attached.

It's a numbers game, here at Lit and on other adult-oriented sites. The horny men vastly outnumber the horny women.

 

[Immobile]

Imho, if you're already feeling guilty, you already answered your question.