A question for Lit women regarding younger men

[Xerxes82]

OK. First, some background. I have had sexual experiences with women more than twice my age, and it was spectacular each time. I've always been attracted to women older than myself (I'm 20 going on 21 right now).

However, I have difficulty talking to women to whom I'm attracted. In particular, I have yet to truly master the art of picking up women (ie, introducing myself to a woman i've never before met and trying to get her interested in me). In point of fact, I'm pretty terrified of it.

All of my relationships have been with people I had already known for a time prior to things becoming romantic or sexual. So, that brings me to my question...

Under what circumstances is it politic to approach an older woman that I might be interested in? Are there any definite no's in regards to asking out a woman in this manner?

I come for your experience, oh wonderful women of Lit. Please, your help would be appreciated...

 

[Olivianna]

Wouldn't it just be the usual stuff - don't approach a woman wearing a wedding band, etc. Many women of all ages (if single, and some otherwise) enjoy attracting the attention of men. Use your common sense.
In terms of older women, I'm not really one to give the advice you seek, since I'm only about 25% older than you.
Good luck.

 

[just pet]

I always appreciate when a man says hello
A smile and a bit of interest goes a long way
For me, I prefer to know someone a while before an interlude
Younger men who come on with a single mindedness turn me off

 

[Xerxes82]

Thanks JustPet...

Anybody else with any help?

 

[amiss]

Unfortunately, no advice here. I've yet to be the older one in a relationship, which isn't surprising, considering, my age (of 20).

 

[MercyMia]

Thanks JustPet...

Anybody else with any help?

I agree with the other 2 posts--if you approach the woman with an open mind, open heart and open hands (no concealed agenda) then you give her a chance to respond instead of react.

An opening line: Hi, how are you doing?

Bad idea for an opening line: Hello hot mama. You get my jizz flowing, ya know what I mean? (insert Lecherous leer here)

Good luck.

 

[just pet]

I agree with the other 2 posts--if you approach the woman with an open mind, open heart and open hands (no concealed agenda) then you give her a chance to respond instead of react.

An opening line: Hi, how are you doing?

Bad idea for an opening line: Hello hot mama. You get my jizz flowing, ya know what I mean? (insert Lecherous leer here)

Good luck.

My favorite is:

I have always wanted to sleep with an older woman so she can teach me some things

 

[Xerxes82]

thanks amiss and MM...

 

[MercyMia]

My favorite is:

I have always wanted to sleep with an older woman so she can teach me some things

I HATE WHEN THEY SAY THAT!!!!!

 

[Xerxes82]

My favorite is:

I have always wanted to sleep with an older woman so she can teach me some things

As an opening line? I don't know if i'm brave enough to try that one...

 

[Secret Pleasure]

Look for a common interest you both might share. And then start talking about it. If she's interested, she'll continue the conversation.

Smile and make eye contact. You should be able to read whether she's interested or not from that.

 

[just pet]

As an opening line? I don't know if i'm brave enough to try that one...

Good
I was being facetious
Great way to lose her interest before you begin

 

[Mia62]

Ok...here is an opinion from an older woman...

I am 40...soon to be 41...

I had a very sweet, handsome, polite YOUNG man approach me...he thought I was about 32...I could tell he was under 30. When I pointed out this girl on the dance floor in the bar...and stated that she is one of my older daughter's friends...you should have seen his jaw drop.

I very politely said...it was nice to meet you...ciao.

I have a sort of an internal age guide that I follow...no one over 10 years above or below me. *shrugs* Some others might be different.

 

[Xerxes82]

Ok...here is an opinion from an older woman...

I am 40...soon to be 41...

I had a very sweet, handsome, polite YOUNG man approach me...he thought I was about 32...I could tell he was under 30. When I pointed out this girl on the dance floor in the bar...and stated that she is one of my older daughter's friends...you should have seen his jaw drop.

I very politely said...it was nice to meet you...ciao.

I have a sort of an internal age guide that I follow...no one over 10 years above or below me. *shrugs* Some others might be different.

Had that been me, my jaw wouldn't have dropped. In fact, i probaby would have turned back to you and said "so. you're better looking than she is"

 

[Guest]

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

This whole younger men thing came up as a thread about a week ago, have you thought about running a search? I am 40, and pretty much stick to younger men, usually from 26 or so to about 37 or 38. It's not a hard and fast rule, but I find that men my age and older generally don't enjoy the music that I like, among other things. Apparently, I am a 28 year old stuck in a 40 year old body *chuckle*.

You want to know when it's appropriate to ask an older woman out? If you don't see a wedding band, then I say, open a conversation with her. Be honest and straightforward. "Hi, How are you" works.

This is a bit more than you asked for, but I'm going to go for it anyhow. LOL. If I can find something in common with a younger man--music, films, activities we both enjoy, then we've got a basis for conversation. Be honest. Straightforward. Don't play bullshit games. We women generally hate that stuff LOL. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Us older women have been through all the bullshit a few times. We'll see through yours. Honesty is the best policy. Smile. Lets do something fun together....go ride roller coasters, something outside, something we both enjoy, that gives us both an opportunity to both have fun AND a chance to talk.

The rest will work itself out.

Good luck to you.

Anelize

 

[Starblayde]

Under what circumstances is it politic to approach an older woman that I might be interested in? Are there any definite no's in regards to asking out a woman in this manner?

Only if you flirt and/or talk about sex should you even consider it. trust me on this.

 

[Calamity Jane]

I think the second biggest thing that keeps me from considering a relationship with a younger man (the biggest biggest being that I'm married) is the lack of common life experiences.

I have two kids and have been married for 8 years. Most guys in the 23-26 range wouldn't be willing or able to understand what that's like.

Also, I have little sisters closer to that age range. I have a hard time identifying with anyone much younger than me, either as a friend or a partner because I think of them as 'kids'.

Ok, I'm babbling. If I was looking for a fuck buddy, a younger guy might just do it for me. But, if I was looking for anything that might have the potential for a long term thing, I wouldn't even consider it.