A question about X's

[DeMont]

Hello,
First time post at Lit here so "be gentle with the virgin" right...

I don't want to sound like I'm assuming too much here but I would guess there are a few here who have ex-partners/husbands/wives/gf's and bf's etc.

Is it possible/normal/whatever to go through life - and loves - and still "feel" something for those former loves?

What do you do with those feelings when you move on?

Just curious and speaking from experience.

 

[dolf]

Unless they were cruel/abusive or did something awful, why wouldn't you have any fond feeling towards them? But caring about someone doesn't make them the right life partner for you, and that's something an adult has to adjust to.

It's not often possible to remain friends, but there's no reason not to be civil. Remember they are your ex for a reason, so don't be tempted to revisit if your current relationship hits a rocky patch.

Accept your feelings.

 

[renard_ruse]

I've loved 4 or 5 females in my life. I still love 2, maybe 3, of them. The love of my life, was just not at the same place at that time. So it ended. I still love her and will to my dying, unmasked, breath. Another one I guess I still love, and hate her as well. Am over the others.

I still have a male best buddy from growing up. Would trust him with my back to the death. We always just clicked. Don't hear from him much these days but still would die for him.

 

[renard_ruse]

https://vimeo.com/272580628

 

[redroses3377]

Unless they were cruel/abusive or did something awful, why wouldn't you have any fond feeling towards them? But caring about someone doesn't make them the right life partner for you, and that's something an adult has to adjust to.

It's not often possible to remain friends, but there's no reason not to be civil. Remember they are your ex for a reason, so don't be tempted to revisit if your current relationship hits a rocky patch.

Accept your feelings.

^^This is well said. It's normal to still have fond memories of and want the best for your ex, but don't let euphoric recall cloud your mind about why it ended. It can be quite confusing to have conflicting emotions for someone. I think of it like this: you can still want them to eat, but they can no longer sit at your table.

 

[redroses3377]

I've loved 4 or 5 females in my life. I still love 2, maybe 3, of them. The love of my life, was just not at the same place at that time. So it ended. I still love her and will to my dying, unmasked, breath. Another one I guess I still love, and hate her as well. Am over the others.

I still have a male best buddy from growing up. Would trust him with my back to the death. We always just clicked. Don't hear from him much these days but still would die for him.

It sounds like you found your soulmate, but just at the wrong time, and you also found your twin flame growing up. You have been very blessed, despite the pain.

 

[KimGordon67]

Hello,
First time post at Lit here so "be gentle with the virgin" right...

I don't want to sound like I'm assuming too much here but I would guess there are a few here who have ex-partners/husbands/wives/gf's and bf's etc.

Is it possible/normal/whatever to go through life - and loves - and still "feel" something for those former loves?

What do you do with those feelings when you move on?

Just curious and speaking from experience.

I would consider my ex one of my best friends. We still enjoy getting drunk together, and can easily spend an hour on the phone talking shit. I love him like a friend, and like the father of my child (which he is), but I'm not 'in love' with him any more.

I was 'in love' with my first boyfriend long after we broke up for the last time. Unfortunately he died, so I'll never know if that feeling would have faded over time. But we remained extremely close, and I was one of his pall bearers.

Both kinds of love are good feelings ... the problems come from a lot of other stuff that isn't love (jealousy, feel abandoned, etc etc). I never have a problem with loving people long after the relevant relationship has finished.

 

[dolf]

I've loved 4 or 5 females in my life.

I'm reading your use of females, not women, to mean you molested the family dogs.

 

[Saint Peter]

i remember each and every house and kickass truck as if they were my first and only.

 

[rockcasbah]

The ones i remember fondly have a special place in my loins.

http://www.thiswebsiterules.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/o8t3FrF-1015x1024.jpg

 

[stickygirl]

How you feel about them after probably depends on why you got together in the first place. My relationships all started in friendships and grew from there - whether work colleagues or friends of friends.

If you hook up randomly from a club or party the probability is that you won't be friends beyond a couple of fucks, though you might wish for more. I'm sure everyone's lives are peppered with crash n burns you'd rather forget.

Remember clubs and parties?

But as dolf suggested, we can be tempted to look through rose tinted glasses at an ex. There's whole shelves of books that try to unravel why abused people keep repeating past mistakes, including going back to an ex. It's a difficult cycle to break and painful to witness.

Looking back generally can be tinged with bittersweet sadness but... gotta pick yourself and move forward. The future's where it's at

 

[rae121452]

if you love someone
let them go
and they will come back to you.

and if they don't, track them down and kill them.

-lesbian creed

 

[DeMont]

Thanks for perspectives

Hey y'all...
Just wanted to say thanks for the answers and perspectives.

@ Stickygirl... Boy, do I remember Clubs and Parties...!!! Yes, and the "crash and burns"

One other thing, "future's where it's at"... can somebody turn me to face in that general direction please... kinda lost here LOL

Again, thanks all.

 

[rockcasbah]

What do you do with those feelings when you move on?

https://img1.etsystatic.com/129/0/5130774/il_570xN.1057950217_jzpx.jpg

Keepsake boxes are nice for Greeting Cards, love letters, panties, photos, USB's etc.

 

[oneblueye]

hey...

Hello,
First time post at Lit here so "be gentle with the virgin" right...

I don't want to sound like I'm assuming too much here but I would guess there are a few here who have ex-partners/husbands/wives/gf's and bf's etc.

Is it possible/normal/whatever to go through life - and loves - and still "feel" something for those former loves?

What do you do with those feelings when you move on?

Just curious and speaking from experience.

there isn't one who I have had feelings of love for-, that those feelings are not gone but into an emotional library, if you will, where I keep a catalog of those loves... where those things learned from my life with them is kept and I learn from.

 

[Conager]

All of mine live in Texas.

 

[rockcasbah]

All of mine live in Texas.

Do you think you and Rob will ever get back together?

 

[Fermina_Daza]

I'm civil will most all my exes. My ex-husband and I get along very well. I will always love him, but it's more of a platonic way.

 

[FL30]

Hello,
First time post at Lit here so "be gentle with the virgin" right...

I don't want to sound like I'm assuming too much here but I would guess there are a few here who have ex-partners/husbands/wives/gf's and bf's etc.

Is it possible/normal/whatever to go through life - and loves - and still "feel" something for those former loves?

What do you do with those feelings when you move on?

Just curious and speaking from experience.

Human relationships are always difficult and everyone experiences them differently.

Some you continue to love long after you've broken up, some you forget, some you end up hating, (some you still love & hate - at the same time) and some just fade away. Then there are those that you wish you never would have dated and even those that you wish that you would have never even met.

It all depends on on you and how you felt about them, so each relationship is different and based solely on your feeling and emotions.

It can also depend on how you treated each other not just during your relationship but during the breakup and afterwards, as well.

 

[HisArpy]

I find X's usually come with O's.