An LW short story I'd like to read: the moment when a good girl understands that her boyfriend/husband can't tell that she cheated

[SouthByWest]

I imagine this as a kind of epiphany, somewhat in the style of Joyce in Dubliners.

A girl/woman in her 20s or 30s has a husband or serious boyfriend. She has been a good girl all her life, the result of expectations by her family, her friends and herself. She is very sensual and loves fucking, loves her bf/husband in the way that gf's and wives do, of course finds other men attractive in the way all women do, but cheating is just not something she could ever see herself doing.

Nonetheless, to her complete surprise, one day it just happens. How is not so important, but somehow mood, circumstances, desire, opportunity and a random man result in her letting down her vigilance and her guard just momentarily, she somehow fails to say no at any of the right times, she temporarily loses control, and lust of a kind previously unknown to her takes over and wins out, and before she can stop herself the deed is done. The story might describe this in detail, or it might begin just as she begins to come down from the sexual high.

In the immediate aftermath she is shocked at what happened, has no desire to do this ever again with that particular man, but cannot deny that her body, at least, loved it. A lot. She checks herself in a mirror and finds the tell-tale glow of the well-fucked woman, and goes about trying to erase those outward signs as quickly as possible.

Her thoughts turn to her bf/husband. Their relationship has been based on complete trust and fidelity. But for that reason she decides she cannot tell him about this, it will certainly be the end. But she is terrified that as soon as he sees her he will immediately know that she has cheated, that it will be as if the word "SLUT" has been lipsticked in all caps and in the brightest colors all across her forehead. She does her best to calm herself down; she is successful on the outside, but inside all is craziness.

The heart of the story begins here. How she prepares herself for the next time she sees him (it could be very soon in the case of a husband, or possibly days in the case of a bf, or longer if someone is away working). The story describes everything going on in her head as she wants desperately not to be found out, but fears equally desperately that she will.

And then, at the moment of truth, it's entirely anticlimactic, immediately obvious that he suspects nothing. Her mind was about to explode, but he is totally normal, and she immediately falls into that sense of normality and closeness with him.

And yet, so much has changed. She knows that she is no longer the good girl she thought she was. She cheated on her man, experienced sexual ecstasy with another man, and yet, despite the fact that she was sure it would be obvious to everyone, most of all to him, he remains oblivious. But she will never forget. And then she realizes that if she could lose control like this once, it could happen again, and the world has suddenly changed enormously. And the climax of the story, the epiphany if you will, are all the thoughts and feelings she has as she realizes the enormity of the change. Nothing needs to be decided in that moment, but what does need to be described is the sense of the world seeming so much larger and freer, the possibilities open to her so much wider, her previously unassailable confidence in her ability to close off that part of the world shattered, and her sense of who she is just gone. And yet this new world is now, somehow, hers. One can imagine all kinds of ways she will go about it.

 

[Reshbod]

I do like that idea, kind of like someone discovering a hidden talent. Maybe she starts going to seedy bars or hanging around airport hotels to be picked up for a one night, or afternoon stand. She chooses to have different men in order not to become attached to any one in particular. She finds it gets easier and she even takes a few risks to get the blood pumping. All the while she's able to keep him oblivios to her new life.

 

[Rob_Royale]

I'd have something happen to her prior. A near death experience can sometimes trigger hypersexuality. Maybe she tries to satisfy her cravings with her husband but it's just not enough.

 

[Britva415]

one day it just happens. How is not so important

Oh, I for one would consider it VERY important. As in, probably the single most thrilling part of the whole story! It seems practically criminal to leave out what exactly it was which seduced her and how exactly that happened. ESPECIALLY since it seemingly could happen again.

Now: This could be played as if she herself isn't aware of the seduction process or what about it was sooo compelling. But to, as an author, leave it unaddressed at all, undescribed, unexplained, un-storytelled... really seems like a missed opportunity and the excision of the part that at least some people would want to relate to,

 

[Britva415]

One more thing with regard to telling the story of the seduction:

It seems... incomplete, to me, that the ONLY thing which this woman is hungry for after experiencing the "awakening," the only thing she got high on, was the raw sex.

Separating that from everything which led up to it, from what made her want it in the first place, from what was probably just as thrilling as the sex itself, if not more so, seems implausible to me.

The next time she allows herself to pursue that thrill, or allow herself to be pursued by a seducer, is she really only going to be looking for the orgasms or is she going to be looking too for the attention, the thrill of mutual attraction, the fun of the seduction?

I don't know. Maybe "overnight transformation into single-minded cum-gatherer" is the direction you want to take this in. Which is fine, if it is, of course. It's your story. And there definitely are people who want the sex and nothing but the sex, and will pursue it and get it and have no other elements to that interaction.

But that seems kind of contrary to the set-up premise, which was that someone thrilled her enough to make her want him before they ever did fuck. It seems to me that that would be a major part of the initial event as told, and a major part of what she thinks about and maybe seeks, later.

 

[SouthByWest]

@Britva415 Not sure where you are getting this. My point is that the cheating itself is something unexpected, unplanned, unintentional, unwanted, totally surprising to her, banal in most respects, except, of course, that there was something about it that thrilled her, that took her out of herself, that has now changed her world. It is not the result of any kind of fetish (the direction most Lit stories take), it just overtook her, the result of living in the sex world of women where, with so many temptations, offers, and seducers all around, all the time, all it takes is letting your guard down, or just not saying no at the right time, for something like that to happen. (There's a companion post "A type of LW story I'd like to read" that goes into more detail about this.) --The seduction, and her falling into it, could have happened in any number of ways, and, if written well, would be very sexy, as good stories of seduction always are. But those are different kinds of stories, and they are abundant on Lit.

What intrigues me more is the psychology of the aftermath: how does her conception of herself, of her personal identity, change as the result of this? A good girl who thought she was immune, turns out not to be, and now has to deal with the fact that a part of her loved it, and could not resist it, which she never would have imagined of herself. And further, if she does need to keep this secret from her husband or boyfriend, how does that change the relationship, what she thought of that relationship?

There are of course any number of ways that she could have been seduced, and I love stories of seduction. That's just not the focus here. There are also any number of ways her life could go afterwards, that could range from never cheating again to all kinds of sexy. But, again, my interest here is really on the moment of epiphany, the realization that not only did she cheat, but that she also experienced a part of her sexuality she wasn't previously aware of, and also that she got away with it, none of which she could have imagined of herself before, which is now going to require a new way of integrating her experience with her conception of herself. And this self-reckoning would occur regardless of how the seduction occurred, and regardless of the direction she decided to take her life afterwards. And it is something that she will need to figure out without her man's input, and without his even knowing, despite the fact that this change in her cannot help but be central and crucial to the course of their relationship going forward. That story is less overtly sexy, but, to me at least, at least as interesting, and with a psychological dimension and subtlety that I don't think has been explored in the LW stories I have read.

 

[Andreas_Kreuz]

So Joyce it shall be this time. Stream of consciousness. Disjointed associations etc. Could be an appropriate literary device to describe her discovery.
The weak point I see, is that he completely trusts her. It might be a surprise for her, but hardly for the reader. And what is take for her and the reader? She cheated, but she is not exposed, because he trusts her. So what now?

 

[SouthByWest]

So Joyce it shall be this time. Stream of consciousness. Disjointed associations etc. Could be an appropriate literary device to describe her discovery.
The weak point I see, is that he completely trusts her. It might be a surprise for her, but hardly for the reader. And what is take for her and the reader? She cheated, but she is not exposed, because he trusts her. So what now?

The focus is on her own reaction to what she has done: that she is not the person she thought she was, that she was sure her husband or boyfriend would be able to tell, that she now has a secret she intends to keep from him forever, that to all appearances their life together is unchanged, and yet, from her perspective, everything has become unhinged. The story idea is what it would be like to experience that from her perspective. How exactly it happened, or where she might go from there, is not part of the story. There are all kinds of ways it could have happened, and all directions her life could take from that point on, but my idea is to focus on just her reaction to her world being completely changed, despite there being no outward appearance to anyone else that anything is different.

 

[Rob_Royale]

The focus is on her own reaction to what she has done: that she is not the person she thought she was, that she was sure her husband or boyfriend would be able to tell, that she now has a secret she intends to keep from him forever, that to all appearances their life together is unchanged, and yet, from her perspective, everything has become unhinged. The story idea is what it would be like to experience that from her perspective. How exactly it happened, or where she might go from there, is not part of the story. There are all kinds of ways it could have happened, and all directions her life could take from that point on, but my idea is to focus on just her reaction to her world being completely changed, despite there being no outward appearance to anyone else that anything is different.

Agreed. And her amazement that no one can tell how she's changed.

 

[Andreas_Kreuz]

Agreed. And her amazement that no one can tell how she's changed.

Does she change? So far, I can only see that her perception has changed. She now knows that cheating can remain undetected. And now? Did she refrain from affairs only because she feared that they would be exposed? And now that she knows starts to have further affairs? Or does she come to the conclusion? "Ok, I could cheat, but I don't want to."

 

[Husky_Embrace]

I'm wondering why this would be a loving wife tale. The wife loves her husband/boyfriend, but the centre of the story is cheating, getting away with it and the emotions following. Unless it satisfies something in her husband/boyfriend, there is nothing loving about it?

I do like to delve into the emotions, so you got me hooked there. There's also the taking of sexual power that I like. It is also much stronger than another mom and son on the backseat of the car for no reason but that the author wanted them to have sex. I just don't see the loving wife bit. I would put it in the erotic couplings part, as there's no real mental category (except mind control).