A question about enjoying pain

[Andy_no_Pussy]

My boyfriend and I have recently discovered that we both enjoy bondage. I am the submissive and he is the dominant one. However, he is a bit of a sadist, and I am not really a masochist. This leads me to my question.

Is there a way to learn to enjoy pain? I really don't want to make him supress himself during sex, but I want to be able to enjoy it, too. Right now I like being spanked and bitten, but I'm a little worried about anything further than that.

Can anyone help?

Oh, and I should make it clear that he is not forcing or coercing me into this. I genuinely want to be able to share this with him.

 

[His_pita]

Just going on my own personal experience here, but when we first started playing I didn't much care for pain. It was something he had to start out really slow with and not go to far. Now, I actually crave the pain and will ask him to do it harder. Well, not when he has a ruler or hairbrush in his hand!! Sheesh those suckers hurt!!

 

[RJMasters]

Often, pain is desirable when arousal mode is in full swing.

Meaning simply, in the throws of passion, the biting, scratching, spanking etc... tends to blend more smoothly. The more aroused one is, the more wild one can be.

You could talk with your partner and communicate where you are at with this and ask him to get the engine reved before pushing any serious pain play. Explain that this is something you want as well, but you need to be in a certain head space to enjoy it. In short, your asking that he tease you unmercifully until you are begging with need, then he can mix the pain with the pleasure.

IMO, if pain is induced during the heat of passion, over time one begins to associate pain with passionate feelings even to the point where pain itself can become a turn on by itself.

Learning to love pain is possible, though it requires a partner who understands how to wrap their partner in a warm blanket of pain, before the shock of a cold slap will induce fire below.

Hope this helps.

 

[SpectreT]

What they said.

Kind of Pavlov's dog thing. Mix "painful" with "pleasurable" sensations, during a highly aroused phase, and eventually, they'll blend. I never got too far along that route myself. Bondage and some hand spanking were about as far as I've ever gone - not much in the "pain" route.

 

[leeroy jenkins]

My suggestion is see if you can find some that has some toys and try them out. The important thing to remember is that all toys can be used to give a degree or real pain or pleasure. This means that you can take a flogger that is normally sting and with a lighter application of intensity you can make it pure pleasure instead of pain. If you understand this principal and try it out then all you need to find out what toys give you the sensations that you crave the most. From that point it would be building up your tolerence to the pain that it could inflict on you.

 

[Stegral]

my 2 cents...

there are as many TYPES of pain as there are DEGREES of it...

*floggers, crops & whips can have the pressure/swing increased to up the pain.

*cuffs & scarves can be as tight or as loose as nessecary/desired.

*biting can also be increased in degrees of intensity.<<shivers>>

I personally LOVE being marked by biting/sucking, especially the neck area.
I personally cannot fathom pain from a whip or crop.
I personally prefer silken bonds to metal ones.

for me it is the gentle reminders of pain that feel good, but as I "get into it" nails up my back or a spank would be more welcome then, than at the start of a session. As it has been noted COMMUNICATION !!!!! talk to your partner... agree on a safe word & don't feel guilty about using it !!!!