a new poem from a new member

[mxsinder]

what is the right process for starting myself off here? pablo naruda best watch hisself. haha. just kidding.

well here's a piece i wrote 5 minutes ago.

IF ONLY

If only.
That sweet pant of a woman's lips beside my ear.
The pre-dawn gray.
The blankets tossed and yet wrapped tightly.
her hand on my chest.
sleeping breaths against my shoulder.

if only
her breasts tight to my side
if only
her mind somewhere dancing on my wavelength
singing to my groove
if only
her eyes could open and waken my passion as the sun awakens the clouds to a lesser charcoal swoon
if only
to ravage her from darkness and dreams
to caress her longing
to adress her grasping
to grasp at her sedition
to offer her a flame that will fire her and wake her
and wake her
her

if only

if only she was real

 

[Lauren Hynde]

what is the right process for starting myself off here? pablo naruda best watch hisself. haha. just kidding.

Welcome to the Poetry Feedback & Discussion forum, mxsinder.

The process you picked will do fine, there are no rules. You may want to check the Roll Call thread and introduce yourself, tell people what you expect from the board and what the board can expect from you.

So, what do you expect? Are you just sharing what you wrote 5 minutes ago, or do you want some feedback on it?

 

[mxsinder]

a poem is the abstract use of language. so, you may do whatever you wish to do. feedback. contemplate. whatever comes to mind. i am open to being viewed as terrible or laureate. and welcome the opportunity to improve, but do not expect it.

and thank you for the welcome.

 

[mxsinder]

ps

i read and posted to the roll call and read the read me sticky as well. thanks for the heads up.

i'm a little groggy from a long night out, i think there are 6 people in my house, which is 2 less than an hour ago, and 3 more than live here. ha.

i just hope the 2 that left at 4 am got home ok and the two that left at 7am remember what happened.

 

[mxsinder]

here is another

I wrote this about the most amazing woman i no longer have in January 2000.

January Ice Cream

Rapid
Frost
Trapped closer than my chest
Fire smothered into the cold stare
of the lost and unprepared
A finger lifts

Locks of brunette block my view
To dwell upon stunning worry
And care for honest pain
Back to the ear the finger pulls

The glaze of ice
Reflects into the radial, brown openings
My soul bestows them sunlight and
Lips push out
Dry
Chapped
Meet almost frozen unresiliance

Reflected, moved
Deep wellings of nothing
Small puddles of abundance
Emotion outweighs the strength of four eyelids
Frost clings
Exhausted clouds of old man hypothermia's death

Heat hides for yet another week
Warmth remains
Radial, brown, sunlit, warm

 

[mxsinder]

and a more standard one...

since i'm going to throw it all out there, he's a more traditional style as well. This was written by me in 1997.

Shade

A little voice came in the shade
A louder whisper as I lay
It said, "my friend" began to fade
And swept my memory away

Then soon I woke to wonder where
I lost my thoughts and growing scared
A little whisper waiting there
Said pss pss psssp and better shares

So took the whisper in did I
For welcoming a soft reply
My lips let tremble simple tithe
And whisper smiled sweetly by

Then night was falling in my breath
And slowly calling whisper went
To ease my muse my better left
And warm the nape upon her neck

So hot, she said it was my best
And sweet, she red, turned further less
More eye to see more lip to bless
When whisper was my happiness

 

[mxsinder]

pseudo-eroti-rhyme

A red beam in the sun today
A freckled party sign
A tall distracting obstacle
A wish to make it mine
A laughing bean with southern heat
A jumping filled with corn
a velvet mouth for me to kiss
a smile to be worn
a fragile desert ecstasy
a wall of iron cast
a wrath of gerbils peddling
my heart into the past
a pickled puckered yodeling
at found was surely tree
The red beam in my worry sea
Was coming after me

I stooped to miss its happy claws
I ducked to tie its feet
I popped to click its sappy maws
I soon was in retreat
So over high it was again
and loom bed over me
it cornered in the inner side
and made me truly free
it captured first my empty thoughts
and took away my fear
it pushed me in the attitude
and slapped me on the rear
it held me where it wanted to
I tried to scream away
it poked me in the wild shoes
and sprinkled me with play
i put it in my heartatote
and memorized its ears
i wrapped its neck in silly quotes
for later slower years
i threw it back to silliness
From whence it surely came
I held its tail up high again
and took away its blame
the beam was red for suredly
by now a fooly mess
it tried so hard to rapture me
and catch me saying yes
so silent stood in stillful stand
no sound would neither make
and wrapped our limbs in final jest
to last, a victor break

we tumbled in the satin fields
we threw the feather rocks
we shattered lake of glacier sheets
and scattered scarlet locks
we deeply sought each others will
to break into repair
to end the struggle finally
and vanquish all despair
when suddenly the earth broke free
volcano in the sun
sent crashing us and thrashing we
into a single one