A mad as hell 'how to' question

[cmky]

I couldn't think of a better place to ask this question.
Sorry, I'm a longtime reader but have never even bothered making a profile till now.
So, yeah. I'm mad right now. Really mad. I just found out my boyfriend of three years has been cheating on me since...i dunno, day one. And he's not the first. My last boyfriend was the sameway. Bastards.

So right now I really want to abuse someone. Bad. Not in a chains and whips sorta way, but something like that. I want to make some dude my bitch. I want to make him cry. I don't even want to know his effin name. But I don't even know how to begin. Do I just go out and ask? Post on craigslist? what?

I don't necessarily want to have sex, just dish out pain or humiliation until I feel better. Is that bad? Maybe I've lost my mind, but I've just lost my patience for guys right now.

Yeah..so...if you have any suggestions, hit me up. Be careful if you're a guy, though. I might just reach through my screen and kick you in the balls.

cmky

 

[Cruel2BKind]

Try BDSM!

lol!!!!

 

[danigrl84]

I doubt you will feel any better with this outlet, even though it may feel like you would. You'd be taking your aggression out on thw wrong person, and more likely than not you would just end up feeling worse afterwards, even if you felt better while humiliating this stranger. I could be very wrong, but I have been know to have a hot temper when it comes to love and betrayl and I felt the best out let was close friends to hate on men with, working out (think kick boxing!) And angry music you can scream to.....all that, a pint of ben n jerry's and maybe a (safe) and some good old masturbation tend to relieve some stress.
Good luck, honey. He sounds like a real dickface.

Ps....(From experience) do NOT jump into a relationship with the next guy you come accross. You are too vulnerable to make well rounded decisions and usually guys that like to pick up girls with broken hearts tend to be vulture-like hearrtbreaks themselves.

 

[Nasty_Deeds]

I couldn't think of a better place to ask this question.
Sorry, I'm a longtime reader but have never even bothered making a profile till now.
So, yeah. I'm mad right now. Really mad. I just found out my boyfriend of three years has been cheating on me since...i dunno, day one. And he's not the first. My last boyfriend was the sameway. Bastards.

So right now I really want to abuse someone. Bad. Not in a chains and whips sorta way, but something like that. I want to make some dude my bitch. I want to make him cry. I don't even want to know his effin name. But I don't even know how to begin. Do I just go out and ask? Post on craigslist? what?

I don't necessarily want to have sex, just dish out pain or humiliation until I feel better. Is that bad? Maybe I've lost my mind, but I've just lost my patience for guys right now.

Yeah..so...if you have any suggestions, hit me up. Be careful if you're a guy, though. I might just reach through my screen and kick you in the balls.

cmky

How about just facing the fact that you need to make better choices in men. After all, neither one of these men forced you into the relationship did they?

 

[sunandshadow]

Log on to a pvp videogame, maybe Halo, and run around shooting and swearing at people?

 

[justherhusband]

I couldn't think of a better place to ask this question.
Sorry, I'm a longtime reader but have never even bothered making a profile till now.
So, yeah. I'm mad right now. Really mad. I just found out my boyfriend of three years has been cheating on me since...i dunno, day one. And he's not the first. My last boyfriend was the sameway. Bastards.

So right now I really want to abuse someone. Bad. Not in a chains and whips sorta way, but something like that. I want to make some dude my bitch. I want to make him cry. I don't even want to know his effin name. But I don't even know how to begin. Do I just go out and ask? Post on craigslist? what?

I don't necessarily want to have sex, just dish out pain or humiliation until I feel better. Is that bad? Maybe I've lost my mind, but I've just lost my patience for guys right now.

Yeah..so...if you have any suggestions, hit me up. Be careful if you're a guy, though. I might just reach through my screen and kick you in the balls.

cmky

What an awesome idea! Let's all go take our revenge on some poor innocent bastard who had nothing to do with it. Fucking brilliant!!!

If you go through with it, my opinion is that it makes you lower than the two assholes who cheated on you.

Oh yeah, and you might want to consider what Nasty Deeds said.

 

[fuckmeat]

I can understand why you're feeling like you do. Lashing out is not the answer though, certainly not lashing out at someone who has done you no wrong.

Speaking as a sub/maso myself, sub/maso/bottom type people make a choice to submit. They choose people who dominate out of self assurance, strength and a desire for mutual pleasure. They do not choose people who want to make them whipping bitches for whatever crap life has dished them out. So if you do seek out someone kinky to play with, be advised that they will almost certainly not take kindly to stepping into your ex's shoes just so you can go apeshit without actually confronting the issues in your life.

ND does have a point. You are clearly making bad choices for yourself. There must be something in your past that causes you to fall for these assholes. You need to take a long look in the mirror and try to figure out why you pick these guys. I'm not saying it's your own fault for making bad choices or trying to excuse these guys in any way but a bit of introspection might help prevent you from making the same mistakes in the future.

Don't be governed by hatred and bitterness. That way lies madness and misery. You have to let it go. Forgive yourself for picking another asshole and reach a place where you're utterly indifferent to the guy and what he chooses to do with the rest of his life. Indifference is the true opposite of love.

Then move on. Move on positively and with the knowledge that you're better equipped to avoid this kind of bad choice in the future. If you feel you need to, seek therapy to examine the reasoning behind the choices you've made. You're going to find it hard to trust in the future but don't reach the point where you find it impossible. Don't punish the next guy for the last guy's misdemeanours either. Everyone should be innocent till proven otherwise and nobody wants to like in the shadow of another person's infidelity, to be under suspicion that they don't deserve.

You can come out of this a better and stronger person. But whipping the shit out of 'some dude' is not the way to go about it.

 

[jewelz_diamondz]

I have to agree with em', sweetie...You are taking it out on the wrong person. Yell and scream at the one who did it! Then turn around and never look back...

Yea, you are hurt, mad (more then mad), feel like you have wasted 3 years of your life with someone you thought would never do this to you but now is when you need to be strong, pick yourself up off the ground, and wipe the dirt off your ass. Show him what you are made of!

 

[fgarvb1]

I couldn't think of a better place to ask this question.
Sorry, I'm a longtime reader but have never even bothered making a profile till now.
So, yeah. I'm mad right now. Really mad. I just found out my boyfriend of three years has been cheating on me since...i dunno, day one. And he's not the first. My last boyfriend was the sameway. Bastards.

So right now I really want to abuse someone. Bad. Not in a chains and whips sorta way, but something like that. I want to make some dude my bitch. I want to make him cry. I don't even want to know his effin name. But I don't even know how to begin. Do I just go out and ask? Post on craigslist? what?

I don't necessarily want to have sex, just dish out pain or humiliation until I feel better. Is that bad? Maybe I've lost my mind, but I've just lost my patience for guys right now.

Yeah..so...if you have any suggestions, hit me up. Be careful if you're a guy, though. I might just reach through my screen and kick you in the balls.

cmky

**************************************************************
LOL!

Sounds like you are ready to get married to me!

Well NO... Not me.

But some poor Innocent bastard you can abuse because "all men are like that."

The thing is, you may be one of this people who gravitate to the worse person of the opposite sex for you in a room to hook up with.

And you probably have no ideal you are doing it.

 

[NippleMuncher]

The problem isn't the lying, cheating bastards, it's your choice to date them. That's not a judgment on you, it's a recognition of reality.

We are ALL attracted to certain types of people, but you've got to be self aware enough to know the patterns these types exhibit and realize that while you find those traits attractive, you ultimately know where it will lead. If you're choosing a "bad boy", then you don't have much room to complain, you knew going in he was going to hurt you.

Look for a better class of men to associate with, find yourself a good one, and treat him well. Don't abuse the next undeserving soul to cross your path just because you're pissed off at the jackasses that YOU have chosen that have abused you. Perpetuating abuse is NOT the thing to do, it makes you as bad, if not worse than, the original abuser.

If you need a physical outlet for your anger, go take some self-defense or boxing classes and take it out at the gym.

 

[cmky]

Okay, Okay, so I didn't take it out on anybody.
I'm not gonna confront my ex about it...well...I kinda already did...but I have that Scottish temper I got from my mom and it doesn't burn out that quickly.
I'm just really angry I didn't see it. I mean, I was a tramp for this guy...why the hell would he want to cheat like that? I don't get men.

Maybe I'm just bitter, but I don't really buy the whole 'it's your choice' line.
Do you really expect me to buy that crap? Yup, I made the choice to date a lying, cheating sob. If I *knew* he was lying and cheating...I wouldn't date him. That's why I dumped him when I found out. Have you never been cheated on? That's kinda the whole point of it, it's called 'cheating' for a reason.

And I'm not so sure that there are good guys out there. My two best friends are going through the exact same thing. What am I doing wrong? If he wants breakfast, I cook it for him. If he wants a blow job, I give him one. If he wants to put it in my ass, where's the lube? I don't (didn't) mess around when it came to keeping him happy. At least I thought.

What's it take to keep a guy???

 

[bronzeage]

Okay, Okay, so I didn't take it out on anybody.
I'm not gonna confront my ex about it...well...I kinda already did...but I have that Scottish temper I got from my mom and it doesn't burn out that quickly.
I'm just really angry I didn't see it. I mean, I was a tramp for this guy...why the hell would he want to cheat like that? I don't get men.

...

What's it take to keep a guy???

Better judgment when choosing one.

In any case, living well is the best revenge. If a man truly deserves nasty revenge for the things he does, life will do it to him, and in ways you could never imagine. Trying to outdo the universe is futile.

 

[Joshua_silver]

i suggest you go out and search for someone who is completely different from the guys you have dated before. I agree with "nipplemuncher" in that maybe a badboy isn't the way to go. And if you somehow find yourself with a pathetic little dude from craigslist in your room with a whip in your hand you might feel a little crazy. Also don't generalize us guys. There are plenty of us (like me) who abhor cheating. And there are plenty of dirty ass bitches who cheat. I know you're upset but looking at this head on is what will see you through it. Looking for what you want to see will only end you up in the same situation.

 

[Luciouswun]

Okay, Okay, so I didn't take it out on anybody.
I'm not gonna confront my ex about it...well...I kinda already did...but I have that Scottish temper I got from my mom and it doesn't burn out that quickly.
I'm just really angry I didn't see it. I mean, I was a tramp for this guy...why the hell would he want to cheat like that? I don't get men.

Maybe I'm just bitter, but I don't really buy the whole 'it's your choice' line.
Do you really expect me to buy that crap? Yup, I made the choice to date a lying, cheating sob. If I *knew* he was lying and cheating...I wouldn't date him. That's why I dumped him when I found out. Have you never been cheated on? That's kinda the whole point of it, it's called 'cheating' for a reason.

And I'm not so sure that there are good guys out there. My two best friends are going through the exact same thing. What am I doing wrong? If he wants breakfast, I cook it for him. If he wants a blow job, I give him one. If he wants to put it in my ass, where's the lube? I don't (didn't) mess around when it came to keeping him happy. At least I thought.

What's it take to keep a guy???

Just like anything else sweetie, it will take finding the right person. Thanks for teaching me something here. Not all men/women are the same, no matter the wrong they do, they don't represent the rest of the world.
Keeping a guy or a girl is not the question, Finding the right one is what this is about!

 

[Nasty_Deeds]

What's it take to keep a guy???

Making the right choice to start with!

 

[Eilan]

We attract what we exude, or so I've heard people say. Maybe this is the case here?

 

[tenderlily]

I'm sorry that you are going through this right now. I was once unknowingly the other woman for a man with a partner and children. Having your trust betrayed by someone you care about deeply always sucks.

It sounds way too soon for this, but I would take time to do a post-mortem on the relationship. Think back on if there were signs that things were headed this way. Think about how he treated you. Every bad relationship is a learning experience for the next healthy one.

There are good guys out there, I promise. I've been fortunate enough to know some of them.

Take care of yourself and your heart.

 

[subwannabe]

Gotta echo what everyone else already said. I know you don't feel like you made the wrong choice but there must have been warning signs all along. If it makes you feel any better, just about everyone has made at least one wrong choice in their lives. You have apparently made two so look at the bright side and expect that the law of averages is now on your side. Three points I would like to make:

1. you do need to re-evaluate your way of choosing partners

2. somehow or other you are going to have to get rid of the bitterness because you can't move on in a better direction until you do.

3. You may have to take a long look in the mirror. I'm not saying this is true, but it is possible that there is something wrong with you that turns people off and effects who you get for a mate or effects the people you are already with. Like I said, I'm not saying there is something wrong with you but we don't really know you. Only you know if that is true or not and you may want to make an honest evaluation of yourself or ask someone who you can trust to tell you the truth.

 

[swtrthnhoney]

Nothing changes if nothing changes.

Recognizing that there is need of a change is the first step (of many, in this situation).

I have decided that if I recognize a pattern in my life of which I do not like the outcome(s), then I must change the pattern so that the outcome will be different. I am still working on this. Most of the work is taking place within myself - my thoughts, my feelings, my reactions, ... Maybe this is something you should consider too. (no judgment)

One thing I might suggest (and I am having to learn this too) is to not be so "available" and "affable". It seems that the general consensus is that guys (possibly not all, but I am not the best person to inquire of this) like the intrigue/chase/hunt and therefore, not being a pushover is required to keep their attention. This, also, maintains one's sense of self and self-respect in those situations where you are accommodating too often. Good luck to you! There are decent guys out there, somewhere.

(I have to believe this or I will give up hope myself.)

 

[qrayze]

(I have to believe this or I will give up hope myself.)

I'm finding it harder and harder to believe with every new guy I come into contact with. And since I refuse to repeat the cycle of dating losers, I've just about given up hope that winners do infact exist. I think they may be a myth like Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny. (you have to believe in them for them to exist, lol)

 

[rthnck]

...What am I doing wrong? If he wants breakfast, I cook it for him. If he wants a blow job, I give him one. If he wants to put it in my ass, where's the lube? ...What's it take to keep a guy???

I'm probably revealing how shallow I am but to my mind, a woman who is GGG (Good, Giving, and Game) is well on the way to being a keeper, and certainly deserves better than to be cheated on from day one.

Reading the OP's messages makes me think we're missing part of the story. No signs of discontent? No conflicts evident in the relationship? No whispers from girlfriends? A third nipple? A hunchback?

Hard to imagine this comes totally out of the blue.

 

[superboy99]

I have a small Idea
Download Max Payne, or any other shooting game playable on the computer and blow out your anger over there

 

[NippleMuncher]

Maybe I'm just bitter, but I don't really buy the whole 'it's your choice' line.
Do you really expect me to buy that crap? Yup, I made the choice to date a lying, cheating sob. If I *knew* he was lying and cheating...I wouldn't date him. That's why I dumped him when I found out. Have you never been cheated on? That's kinda the whole point of it, it's called 'cheating' for a reason.

I'm not referring to the choice of whether to date a known cheater or not. What I'm talking about is that you find a particular type of person attractive, and apparently that type of person has abusive/cheating tendencies, yet you choose to continue to date such people.

If you want someone who will treat you well, quit looking for a 'bad boy'. There are lots of us "good boys" around that would love to have a woman like you, so willing to please and take care of us.

 

[subwannabe]

Part of the problem is that there are just so many women who put up with bad guys. This is actually the women's fault. Before I get trashed on, let me make my point. If all women refused to put up with this shit and refused to date or continue dating or even marry these guys then the guys would have to change their behavior if they wanted women. It's really that simple but I don't know what the solution is. In any event, there are good men out there. You have to figure out where they are and then date in that group and most importantly, when you see signs the guy isn't living up to your expecatations - don't settle and continue the relationship! And, another point, there is no law you have to have anyone. Settle for no one when the choices offered are only idiots. Most importantly, when you start dating the right kind of men, be honest and demand honesty in return. No playing games!

Maybe some of the problem is that there is a difference between just dating and trying to find a life long mate. It is much easier to find the right person if you are looking for a lifelong mate because if you are just dating, you are basically just passing time with someone until you're actually ready to look for Mr. Right. Just dating will find you a bunch of losers.

 

[Noor]

Okay, Okay, so I didn't take it out on anybody.
I'm not gonna confront my ex about it...well...I kinda already did...but I have that Scottish temper I got from my mom and it doesn't burn out that quickly.
I'm just really angry I didn't see it. I mean, I was a tramp for this guy...why the hell would he want to cheat like that? I don't get men.

Maybe I'm just bitter, but I don't really buy the whole 'it's your choice' line.
Do you really expect me to buy that crap? Yup, I made the choice to date a lying, cheating sob. If I *knew* he was lying and cheating...I wouldn't date him. That's why I dumped him when I found out. Have you never been cheated on? That's kinda the whole point of it, it's called 'cheating' for a reason.

And I'm not so sure that there are good guys out there. My two best friends are going through the exact same thing. What am I doing wrong? If he wants breakfast, I cook it for him. If he wants a blow job, I give him one. If he wants to put it in my ass, where's the lube? I don't (didn't) mess around when it came to keeping him happy. At least I thought.

Oh and if you need to get your anger out, write his name on a piece of paper.put in your shoe and walk on him all day, that is what a friend of mine does.


What's it take to keep a guy???

I am not sure what you mean by being a tramp for this guy. You should never be something you aren't just for some guy.

I would be harder to get, harder to please. Have him keep you happy, it should be a mutual thing not a what you do for him.

I have noticed that difficult women seem to get better treatment. Guys are not like pets, you don't do certain things to keep them, you hopefully develop a mutual relationship with them.

Okay, kick this guy to the curb and pick up a copy of its not him it you from the library, it has lots of sex scene photos and good advice on self esteem and mutual relationships. Date a lot of guys before settling for one.