A Long Day's Knight

[Darklord]

McBubba

Oc: Sorry gang, I had to go out of town and take care of a sick friend. Everythings fine now though.

Ic: After the incident with the now vanished bandit, and revealing his family origins and trade McBubba withdrew into a deep blue funk. "Damn" he thought. "Now Arista is going to hold not only my drinking against me but also my family's profession. That means life's going to be just a bit more miserable." and with that thought he came to the campsite. Like the others he set up his sleeping bag, and wanting a little privacy walked into the woods a way to think. After a while he came back to the camp and checked his sleeping roll. "How the HELL did dirt get into my bag!" he thought as he shook it out, just then Arky blew the heavans open, again. Dropping his bag and cursing fluently in several languages he opened his saddle bags, grabbed a bottle of whiskey and stalked off into the woods and sitting down on a stump started to get good and wasted...

 

[Bubblegum *sugarless*]

Ronan had been oblivious to the bandits attack, he was too busy trying to keep his horse from running in circles. Whatever Fook gave the Arky-infected steed seem to work, but did indeed have some strange side effects. Finally after getting his horse on the straight and narrow, he managed to catch up with the party. ignoring the fact that his horse was now snorting fire. As he rode up, he heard McBubba spouting off some mumbo jumbo.

"Egads, the poor sod is possessed." He thought to himself. "It's almost as if the devil himself is speaking through the man."

He managed to comprehend a few of the phrases McBubba was spewing, and it was then he realized he wasn't possessed, but even worse a lawyer. Shaking his head, Ronan decided he best add McBubba to the list with Arky of those to stay away from. With his luck, McBubba would challenge him to a litigious battle and Ronan would lose his jerkin.

As the weary party began to set up camp, Ronan did everything he could to avoid Arky. He had atleast 2 hours of no injuries, he planned on keeping it that way. He meandered around gathering twigs for the fire, ducking everytime Arky came in to view. The damp leaves that Fook had instructed him to apply to his bare arse seem to be doing their job, but Ronan imagined that from behind a person might think he had loosened his bowels into his drawers.

Returning to the camp, he was actually at ease. Maybe his bad luck was behind him. Whistling heartily he wandered over to say goodnight to Arista....

KABLOOM!

Ronan jumped and turned, just in time to see Arky scrambling toward him. Clutching the twigs tight to his chest, he glanced anxiously around for a place to hide; but it was too late. Arky was rattling on about something, but the explosion had left a ringing in Ronan's ears and he couldn't understand. Before he knew it, Arky had grabbed the twigs from him. He placed a fluffy white ball on to the end of a twig and thrust it back into Ronan's hand. Then with a strength Ronan didn't think the little mage capable of, Arky pushed Ronan toward the fire. He was motioning for him to stick the little, white ball into the fire.

It would explode. Ronan knew it. Or the heat would release a demon. Ronan never felt this kind of fear before. He just knew Arky was here to finish him off. Dropping the twig, he pushed the little man out of the way and went screaming into the woods.

He ran until he reached a thick cluster of trees to hide in. As he stopped to catch his breath, he realized how thankful he was for Fooks leaves, certainly they hid the fact that something even wetter and smellier occupied his pants.

 

[captainb]

Fook

Fook had found a semi-smooth patch of ground and unrolled his sleeping pad. He had settled onto it and was about to reach the deepest state of mental and physical relaxation that one can naturally reach, leaving all of his tensions and concerns behind for the moment. He breathed in deeply, finally seeing the golden glow of utter peace break over his inner horizon...

KABLOOM!

Cinders and chunks of burning wood flew through the air and Fook's eyes flew open to see a mass of green flame skyrocket over his head. Shouts from the group and the squeals of horses added to the momentary chaos. He saw Arky approach Ronan, who ran off in terror. Most wise, he thought sourly. Fook stood and dusted himself off, then sighed and looked into the woods. Well, they were here for the night anyway, maybe he could find a few hours rest in there before nightfall.

He carefuly picked his way through the tangled trees until he heard a familiar voice singing softly. Peeking out from a bush, he saw McBubba swaying on a stump, serenading an unseen lady with a half-empty bottle. The man stopped and looked up as Fook emerged.

"Beg pardon for intruding," Fook bowed slightly. "Camp seems to have become most dangerous part of journey." McBubba muttered something about flaming wizards as he brought the bottle up to his lips. Fook settled himself nearby and reached into a deep pocket, pulling out a corked waterskin. "Sometimes way to peace needs encouragement. Famous family secret," as he held up the skin, "made from fermented mare's milk with special herbs." McBubba just gave him a strange look, but Fook grinned. "Don't knock until you try. We both want restful sleep, yes? This give kick of mule without morning reminder." He raised the skin and let a stream pour into his mouth, smacking his lips as the ancient drink began its wondrous work.

 

[Lady_Siren]

Ariana was sitting brushing her hair when she heard a tremendous explosion. Jumping about five feet in the air and yanking some hair out of her head she let out a cry. Struggling to her feet she tripped over her night gown and fell flat on her face. Groaning she stood up brushing off her gown. She couldn't seem to keep one clean lately. Hurrying out of the tent regardless of her attire she went looking for the responisble party, in other words Arky.

 

[Darklord]

McBubba

McBubba had been sitting on the log for a while when he got the urge to sing. He wasn't good at it, but he did have enthusiasm as he sang of a lonely girl, a bottle, and a horny sailor. After the first few verses Fook wandered in from the woods and asked to join him. "Fricki'n flaming wizards." McBubba mumbled but then remebering Fook to be pretty harmless he motioned him to take a seat. "Holy gods in purgatory! The old coot's gonna drink!" he thought as Fook pulled a wine skin out from nowhere. After he told him that it was femernted mare's milk he nearly threw up. But seeing Fook drink it and immediately fall over dead McBubba began to wonder what it tasted like. Turning to Fook he asked. "Umm, Fook, I was, umm wondering if I could have a try of your mare's milk? I'll let you have a hit of my Borth whiskey from the mad monks of the Borth Moutains in exchange." and then he waited to see what would happen.

 

[captainb]

Fook

Fook righted himself and smiled thinly at McBubba. "It is honor to share kumiss," he said, passing the skin and accepting the Borth whiskey. "It was drunk by Huns of old in the far East land of my home..." His voice exploded in a rack of coughing as the mad monk's liquor hit his throat. McBubba grinned and upended the wineskin. The first taste was nauseating, but McBubba forced himself to swallow. His stomach immediately settled as the alcohol was sucked into his veins, and he and Fook looked at each other. Both smiled, grinned, then started to laugh as they took another swig. Fook's cackle was a high-pitched hee hee hee, and he struggled to say, "You know, man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day long. hee hee hee! Wait, got more." He assumed a serious expression. "Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ. hee hee hee!"

 

[Neale]

Arky

Arky calmly stood before the bonfire, toasting marshmallows, and having a wonderful time... oblivious to the reactions of other people with less appreciation of the fine art of pyromancy.

 

[Darklord]

McBubba

After a good while, and the liqour finally being finished, Fook and McBubba were leaning against some trees looking at the sky and discussing the possible problems on the trip that might occur. "You know Fook me buddy, I've got this weird deep down gut feeling we will run into a Bandit Dwarf with Short Man's Complex and a penchant for Buggery. Of course I could be wrong and it'll be a Killer Toad Stool that somehow managed to avoid the King's gardeners Mario and Luigi. Hmmm, neither thought is really comforting, you know that?" he said. "Foolish man put cart in horse, smart man eat horse and pull cart himself." replied Fook with a silly grin on his face. "I agree" said McBubba as they fell into that silence that is brought by two guys who bond over a bottle of liqour and are too drunk to really talk for a while.

 

[Isolde]

Arista

OOC: Sorry for the delay everyone. RL problems dropped into my lap but I am back.

IC: When Rockingham came up with his plea to let the princess go back home, she stopped what she was doing and draped an arm about his shoulders.

"Now listen," She said to him in a calm and even voice,"Its not that I am enjoying this trip so very much that I couldnt gladly turn around, go home and be happy being the butt end of all the knight's jokes when they find out I blew what should be a simple assignment in under a day."

"It isnt that I dont care that the princess is unhappy..which by the way, I dont. And its not that this plea that I know is from the bottom of your heart has fallen on deaf ears. But," And here she turned to give Rockingham a hard stare,"If you think that I am going to....."

At that moment Ronan ran by and disappeared into the woods, a look of relief and fear on his face. Puzzled, Arista lost her train of thought for a moment and stared after him. Turning back to Rockingham, she was searching her memory for what she had been about to say when Ronan came running back, his arms full of twigs.

Her curiosity got the better of her at that point and she stopped the knight, asking him what they were for. Upon being told that Arky wanted them, she nodded and turned once again to Rockingham to continue the conversation. He obviously wanted to build a fire.

Before she could continue where she left off, the thought that this was Arky they were talking about slammed into her and she raced away from Rockingham and toward the wizard.

Too late-with an ear shattering noise, flames rose up towards the sky and heat radiated from the circle of fire. Her mouth dropped when Arky grabbed one of the sticks and shoved a soft white dollop on it and forced it into Ronan's hands. Ronan ran...right past her and disappearing into the woods. She had to admire his smarts.

When the heat died down enough for her to approach the wizard, she strode over and got right in front of Arky. He looked at he a bit puzzled and handed her a stick with a white soft thing on it and said,"Marshmallow?"

Pushing the stick aside, Arista moved face to face with him. "What do you think your doing," She yelled over the roar of the bonfire,"Does the words 'stealth' or 'Secrecy' hold any meaning for you? If anyone was following us to capture the princess than you just sent a beacon telling them where we are at! Not to mention all the other nasties we could meet on this road!"

As if her words were prophetic, there was a loud roar and the mountain ahead of them seemed to rumble as if something massive was shaking it. Arista looked in that direction and wondered what the hell they were in for now.

OOC: I will work on this later. This is a surprise that I want to do later on. So no one post whatever it is coming, please. Thank you.

 

[captainb]

Fook

Fook gazed blissfully at the forest scene before them. Truly, McBubba seemed more wise now. Perhaps the trip had done him some good. Although the mixture of Borth whiskey and Hun kumiss seemed to be struggling for supremacy in his belly. A earthshaking rumble suddenly rolled through the woods, causing birds to take flight with squawks of alarm. Fook and McBubba looked at at each other and both murmured, "Excuse me."

"It getting dark. Maybe we should not stay in woods. Fire would be good now."

McBubba stopped. "Not that fargin' Arky's fire, though."

"True," slurred Fook, "but noble Arista must have situation in hand now. Besides, should trouble arise, they will need us."

The two slowly made their weaving way back to camp.

 

[Lady_Siren]

Ariana was searching for Arky when she heard a noise in the woods. Now normally she was an intelligent girl and wasn't stupid enough to investigate strange noises. That always got people killed in those horror movies she loved so much to watch. But tonight she upset, angry, sore, and in the mood for some adventure, so without a second thought she headed in the direction of the sound curiousity filling her every sense.

 

[Rockingham]

Rocky scratched his head as Arista ran off. He didn't know what to make of that conversation, dead ears, funny knights. It didn't sound like much of a good thing to him. The knight didn't give him any reason to say no though. Did that mean she wanted him to to take the princess off of this vacation?
He didn't see why not. He gave her a request and she didn't say no. He wasn't quite sure she had said yes, but what other answer could there be. She said she was tired, and she didn't care about the princess.
So if Rocky did take her away from this vacation, he would be doing the entire group a favor. Rocky smiled, searching for the princess. They would leave tonight, as soon as possible.
Ariana," he called. There she was, going into the forest. A slight rumble made him fall to the ground. He quickly got up, following the princess.
"Ariana," he called again, running to catch up with her.

 

[Neale]

Arky

Arky looked at Arista, puzzled by her anger... He reached out and pinched one of her cheeks, and offered her a marshmallow. "Don't worry your pretty little head, lass... I've got plenty of marshmallows to go around!" He patted his seemingly bottomless pouch, and turned back to the moderately roaring green fire, toasting another one.

 

[Lady_Siren]

Ariana seemed to not here Rocky as she continued into the forest. Looking around she felt as if someone was watching her. Looking around she saw no one. Now she felt as odd chill and decided it was best to head back now. She turned and started back when she realized she didn't know the way back. Spinning in circles she looked all around her realizing with cold certainty that she was lost.

 

[captainb]

Fook

"Whazzat?"

Fook and McBubba stopped suddenly, holding each other for balance as they listened. A steady rustling came from the unseen trees above, an occasional creak thrown in at times for good measure. The distant chirp of insects rose and fell, but the moonlight didn't penetrate the heavy treetops.

"I don't hear nothing now," McBubba whispered, grimacing as his belly rumbled again.

Fook belched painfully and stared into the darkness. "Something move over there."

"Where?"

"There!"

"Where??"

A branch loudly snapped near them.

"There!!!

"Aauughhh!!!"
"Aauughhh!!!"

Both men, fueled by a curious blend of intoxicants and their own imaginations, ran blindly through the forest for a few moments until a face on one hand and a crotch on the other discovered the folly of such an act.

"McBubba?"

"Here."

"Where?"

The two crawled towards each other. They carefully looked around them as their eyes fully adjusted to the gloom, then stared at each other. Nothing looked familiar. They were lost.

 

[Darklord]

McBubba

After McBubba had discovered that running into a low slung branch at high speeds with your balls is not a very good idea. After finding out he and Fook were lost on top of it, things started to get really worse. Then it did. A huge earth shaking roar seemed to fill the night and a huge gout of flame seemed to fly over the trees above their heads. "Fook me pal, I've got a feeling that isn't Arky, Mario, or a short inferior bugging dwarf with a hang up for tall women. It sounds more like a large fire breathing sort of creature who likes to eat toasted or roasted meats." he said.

Slowly getting up, as another blast of flame flew by, McBubba looked at Fook and said "Perhaps we should head towards the flame, because I have this weird feeling all of my stuff is now on fire, and the last of my whiskey is safely in some large creatures belly with my horse."

 

[Rockingham]

Rocky ran as fast as he could. He didn't exactly get much running around a castle. Had she not heard him? He swore she had. Maybe she didn't though.
Just as he thought he had given up he saw her in a small clearing. Slowly, he came up behind her, tapping her on the shoulder.
"Princess," he called, "Is everything all right? What are you doing out here all by yourself?"

 

[Lady_Siren]

Ariana jumped as someone tapper her on her shoulder and spun around with her heart in her throat, well not really but it felt that way. Seeing it was only Rocky she felt relief beyond measure and without a thought she threw herself at him hugging him tightly. She hated to admit it but she had let fear creep up on here when she discovered she was lost and now that Rocky was here no matter how strange it was she felt safe. Only thing was she was still lost. Oh well...

 

[Rockingham]

Rocky felt her tight hands clamp around him. He felt awkward for only a second, before hugging her back. She needed some comfort, something must have scared her up pretty good. He hugged her, scanning the area for anything scary. Some noises in the distance, but other than that nothing.
After a minute Rocky put Ariana on arm's length, "Princess, Arista said that it was ok for me to take you back home. At least, I think she did."
He looked back the way he came, or was that the way he was going? He turned around again, no that bush wasn't there before. That didn't make sense.
"Umm, where are we?"

 

[Lady_Siren]

Ariana smiled at Rocky despite the circumstances and kissed him on the cheek. She blushed slightly at her outward actions and looked away. "I don't know where we are Rocky. I believe this is what people call being lost. now I understand why no one likes it"

 

[Rockingham]

Rocky was slightly confused. He turned around pointing to the the bushes.
"I came in from right..." those bushes didn't look familiar. He turned around again, Ariana still clinging to one arm. Nothing looked familiar, absolutely nothing.
"Oh no, I don't know where we are either," he said, slightly disappointed. He was supposed to know what he was doing, and now he was simply lost.
"Ok, ok, calm down," he sighed, "We can just stay here for tonight, and in the morning we'll find our way."
He looked into her eyes, hoping for agreement.

 

[Lady_Siren]

Ariana clung to Rocky nodded agreement. She was afraid, she would never admit it but she was. When Rocky would have left to check out their clearing she held on even tighter and looked at him "Please don't leave my side" then to try to cover the fear in her voice she said "you might need me to protect you" she blushed but she couldn't hide the pleading that was in her eyes as she looked at him.

 

[Rockingham]

Rocky's eyes grew wide as he heard the unfamiliar sound. What was it? Where was it? Why wasn't it dead, and how could he help with it becoming dead?
Rocky held Arians tighter than he probably should. He was so scared at the moment, if she wasn't holding back, he would have just run. There was no doubt in his mind.
"Look," his voice squeaked," Look, maybe we should make a fire."
He began gathering small twigs and leaves. In a few minutes a small spark was going, after grabbing some bigge things a nice fire was finally underway. It showed the surrounding area. He liked it better when he could see things. It put light on the subject.
"Princess, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get us lost, I really screwed up this time. I just wanted to help you. I just screw things up sometimes," he half laughed at that remark, "All the time. This is no different. I'm sorry Ariana."

 

[captainb]

Fook and McBubba

The two stumbled through the dark forest, guided by the semi-imaginary flickerings of the faint fire. Suddenly, a spark of orange flared nearby. Both men paused, crouching among the bushes. Blurred eyes made out indistinct shapes moving around a small fire, and two shadowy creatures that softly muttered to each other.

Fook poked McBubba's ribs and whispered, "Goblins?"

 

[Darklord]

McBubba

Looking into the flickering firelight, he saw a shambling.... THING.... and looking at Fook as if he mad. "You crazy? Goblins are not that large, and defineintly, do NOT have two heads and mutiple limbs. *hic* It looks more like to me it is a two headed Dingle Whopper, the dreaded Ball Cruncher from the north sea coast. The only *hic* thing I don't get is why one would be in so far into land??" he said to Fook as the fell to their knees watching the THING shamble around the clearing gathering sticks for it's fire.. "Maybe it got food and is ready to roast it. But last I heard they ate their food raw. That must be it, it is the first land walking form of the Dingle Whopper and likes to eat cooked flesh!" cried McBubba as his greased, over active, and somewhat not wuite so perceptive mind did a little thinking.