A Long Day's Knight

Ariana realized Rocky's smile was contagious and she found herself smiling warmly back. and she couldn't help a giggle when he walked away trying to look like a brave and distinguished knight and he would have succeeded except to Ariana he just looked adorable. Smiling to herself she rode to join the group at the gate.
 
Sitting up in the saddle McBubba sniffed the air and inhaled deeply, ah yes, he smelled GOOD didn't he? Looking over at Fook he decided to be just a little gracious to the old man. "Old one, I apologize for having caused any problems a few moments ago." and turning back before he could hear Fooks answer he inhaled again. "Gods we should leave now, I have a feeling on this one. I think we shall have quite an adventure ahead of us, which isn't good, but it WILL get me money back...." were his thoughts as he waited..
 
Now that was a funny sound. He turned around, a funny sound indeed. It was a sound he had heard before, but never from her.
She was giggling. He had to be sure, yep it was her. Princess Ariana was giggling, and she was staring right at him. At first he got worried, maybe there was something on his back. Some of the knights liked putting a little something on his back every now and then, but since the war it's been pretty calm. He reached around, to look.
No luck.
What was she giggling at then?
If he were any smarter, he's probably know. The truth of the matter was though, he wasn't very smart at all. All be it from that, he still tried his best, that was the Rockingham way.
Rocky made his way to the front of the pack.
"The princess is here and accounted for, like you asked," he said to Arista, "So, whenever your ready, just give the word."
He moved back to a nice spot beside Ariana.
"We'll be going in just a minute."
 
Fook

As the group slowly assembled, Fook idly watched Revered Trotting Grandfather noisily munch the remainder of the lost saddle bag. Fook knew it wasn't his, and might have been concerned that something important was being lost. But he prided himself on his inner peace, almost as much as his modesty. This morning had stressed that peace to its limit, but a few minutes chewing the specially marinaded bark he always carried produced a much mellower atmosphere. That combined with the comfort of the horse's back and the birds and the clouds and the distant murmurings of conversation and the wavering buzz of insects and the nearby voice that spoke briefly and the girlish giggle nearby... Fook blinked and looked slowly about. Had someone spoken to him? McBubba was nearby astride his horse, but he seemed to be in his own world, nostrils flaring as he looked to the horizon.

Fook looked to his right to see Arista holding her reins in a white-knuckle grip. She looked tense, perhaps she needed some words of encouragement. He clicked and the old horse sidled near her steed, the animals looking at each other warily. "Lady Arista," he said in his most wise and calming way, "would it not be best to begin our journey? You must learn to assert control when needed. Remember, ship with too many pilots sometime have difficulty reaching port."

He sat back and smiled inscrutably, slowly chewing the piece of bark. Ah, there was Rockingham, the Princess's handboy. He clicked again, and both he and horse moved slowly in their direction.
 
Ariana noticed Rocky's confused expression and her smile grew. Somtimes that boy was just so adorable. Shrugging she joined the other prepared to leave and meet her future husband. At least thats what she let them think...
 
Rocky stared at the ground. He didn't think of anything much right now, he didn't have to. When he didn't have to think of something, he usually didn't. That's what was so great about being a servant to someone else, you only had to think when you were told too. The other times it's all yours. He spent those times usually day dreaming, or playing, or singing.
He arose, startled. Another horse came up to him. He looked at the man with some confusing.
Ohhhh....
"Fook, hey, so glad to see you. I was wondering where you were. Is something wrong?"
He moved his mule a step close to the princess, looking around. Was something wrong? He scanned the area for something wrong.
It was a nice fine summer morning, completely normal.
He didn't like it, it was summery.... too summery.
"What should I be looking for?" he whispered to Fook.
 
Ronan

OOC: I will be doing some posts for SlowHands while he is away. Please bare with me, I write erotica. So if Ronan starts humping someone or something, just give me a nudge.

IC:

After cleaning up and changing his armor, Ronan began the painful walk back to the supply wagon. His limp was more pronounced, the pain in his foot searing, the pain in his ass manageable and the pain in his groin, well, despite being away from female companionship for almost 2 years, there was no desire left in that particular region of his body. His stomach still churned and his nostrils still burned from the noxious odors that had assaulted him earlier.

As he approached the assembled party, Ronan caught Liam’s eye and quickly looked away. “Lord,” He thought to himself. “Please punish any remaining Saxon’s. Their farking archer got me into this mess.” He did an inventory of what had happened since his arse met the tip of that arrow. His nether regions were swollen and sore from running away from that fool of a healer, Arky. His foot was sliced and bleeding after he dropped his sword into it when he was startled from that explosion, set off by…Arky. “On second thought Lord, keep an eye on Arky.” He chuckled to himself.

Climbing slowly back onto the supply wagon, Ronan nodded a silent hello to his fellow travelers. After his performance this morning, there wasn’t much he could say to redeem himself. He gave Arista thumbs up and silently prayed that things would only get better.
 
Arky

Arky walked up to the group, leading a mule instead of his usual mare. He was heard muttering to himself, "I just don't understand it... Lulubell should have really benefitted from that new grain I fed her this morning... Should have made her run like the wind! Certainly didn't expect her to breathe fire like that..."

He looked up at the assembled party, seemingly startled by their presence, "Oh! Hullo, all! Anybody want to try out some of my new, speed-enhancing feed for their mounts?"
 
Ariana frowned at Arky when he mentioned a new speed enhancing feed. "It would happen to contain sulfur would it?" she asked, when he nodded she grimaced "no thank you Arky" she said urging her mount forward before he could try and convince her. Looking toward the open land before them she felt an impending dread one she couldn't seem to shake. Looking around her frown deepened she quickly nudged her horse a little closer to Rocky and the others.
 
OOC: Sorry about the delay in posting, guys and gals. Settling in has me running back and forth, around in circles and up the walls. And welcome to Bubblegum. If you enjoy this thread than feel free to jump in as another character once SlowHands gets back. We would love to have you.

IC: Arista forced herself to loosen her death grip on her reigns and exercise her fingers which were almost becoming numb. "We will get through this, we will get through this, we will get through this if I have to break everyone's neck to do it...starting with Arky." Taking slow breaths, she was able to reach a passable stage of calmness and was finally ready to take Fook's advice and start whether everyone was ready or not.

Until Arky offered some of his specially enhanced feed to everyone. At that point Arista could feel the tension build up again. Why the hell was she worried about whatever dangers lie beyond the castle walls? If they were going to die it would be by their own hands.

"NO Arky," She replied between clenched teeth as she saw Ronan come out and settle himself in,"That wont be neccessary. Lets get the animals to our destination alive, shall we? In that way they will probably be luckier than the humans who tend to them."

Giving Liam one last look of despiration, she drew herself up into the saddle and begin to move out, gesturing to the group to follow and sending the guards at the gates a glaring look as they fought to hide their laughter as the group passed. For good or ill they were on their way.
 
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As the small group rode out of the gates and down the road a little way McBubba couldn't help but feel happy to be out in the fresh air, it was good afterall to expel the last vestiges of an army sized hangover. Looking at the little group around him he feverently hoped, prayed, cajoled, and begged the ever loving gods to keep them on the whole safe from harm, and provide just, JUST, enough action to please his farking father so he could get back his inheritence.

Riding up beside Ronan and the cart driver he asked the driver whether or not he knew any riding songs, and the driver grinning with his few remaining teeth, launched into "A Fair Fanny, My Bonny Has." at which McBubba joined in just as lustily as the driver and so they rode for a while ignoring the glares of Ariana and Arista. "Afterall, I have to put up with THEIR hang-ups about drinking, AND their snobbish airs, they can just damn well PUT UP with MY singing." he thought quite happily.
 
Ariana followed Arista and everyone else doing her best to push the feeling of dread that threatened her.
 
Rocky rode closely beside Ariana. She seemed lost in her own world. He couldn't understand what could be wrong, he thought she wanted to go on this vacation. Everyone seemed down, actually. What kind of vacation did people go on that no one wants to go? He was grateful to finally get out of the castle and enjoy some vacation time.
"Ariana," Rocky said, after his thinking had been exhausted, "Why such the long face? Hey, what's up? You can tell me is something wrong. Do you need help, or something? I would try to help you, if I could."
 
Ronan

Ronan cringed as McBubba started belting out some unintelligeble song lyrics. He was reminded of a time in his youth when his father's donkey was wounded by a stray dog. The incessent braying of the ass sounded just like that injured donkey.

Climbing down from the wagon, he wandered over to his horse. Despite his aches and pains, the solitude of riding his mount would be welcome. He checked his saddle and grabbed the reins, before painfully mounting the steed. To say it was uncomfortable, was at the very least, an understatement. Pain shot through his groin and meandered to his arse. Gritting his teeth, he sat tall in the saddle and waited for the party to move out.

As Ronan prepared to ride silently behind the group, he didn't notice that Arky was moving away from where Ronan had his horse tethered. Nor did he pay attention to the snorting sounds his horse was making. In fact, he was oblivious to the fact that his horse had his head down in a battle position and was kicking at the ground with his left hoof. He didn't notice any of this until it was too late...
 
Bandits

OOC: First baddie for you guys. Play nicely now :D

IC: The groups peaceful(?) reverie is rudely interrupted when they see a roadblock ahead of them. Around it stands a group of around five men, who's features sharpen as their horses draw neared, and the group redies themselves for action.

The leader of these fearsome bandits eyed up this approaching group. "Easy pickings!" he whispered to himself, as he noticed the Princess and a female knight leading the group. This was going to be too easy!
He stepped forward and held his hand out in front of him as the brave adventurers finally reached them.

"Halt! If you would be kind to hand over all your gold before you pass then everything will be so much smoother."

Arista stared in horror at the leader. The rest of the gang were all normal looking bandits; over-wrought facial hair, beer stains on their clothes, not to mention some extremely irresponsible odours, but this man was something else. He was lithe and toned, muscles straining against his leather vest, but his skin! Various shades of purple, yellow, blue and black covered his body, sometimes changing colour with his sleight and deliberate movements.

"Well?" He asked questioningly. "I don't have all day you know! Places to go, innocent travellers to rob. It's a hard knock life...."

Arista jumped off her horse, suddenly feeling that agressive streak surface again, before realising that one should never give up and advantage in a fight.
"Name yourself!" she cried, recovering magnificently from her moment of indecision.

"My name?" The leader smirked. "My name is....Bruce Lee."
The assorted bandits gasped. Bruce turned around in anger and shouted, "Shut up! It's them who are supposed to gasp, not you!"

"Sorry boss," murmured the minions, shuffling their feet in embarrassment.

"Bruce Lee?" said Arista incredulously. "Whatever!" She pouted automatically, unable to control herself.

"Fine then," replied Bruce,"Let's fight!" He assumed a kung fu pose, and immediately launched himself at Arista. She dodged his attack quite easily, then struck back with a fist. Bruce blocked and then....

....collapsed on the floor writhing in pain.

"What the hell?" said Arista in confusion, looking at her fist, and then at Bruce, screaming out obscenities while rolling around.
Suddenly a smartly dressed man steps out from behind the roadblock, and approached Arista.

"You name is Arista, Royal guard to the Princess?"
"Erm....yeh that's me," replied Arista, still looking at Bruise in confusion.
"Aha," the man scribbled down something on a parchment.
"My name is Richard Nixon, attorney to Mr Lee here. I regret to inform you that we will begin legal proceedings with your party soon. Expect a subpoena at some point in the near future."

"What the...?" Arista turned to Richard.
"See, you hurt my client with prior knowledge of his condition. By kingdom law, we can claim emotional damages of at least ten carts and four carriages of gold."

"Ten carts! That's extortionate!" shouted Arista, before realising something.
"Wait a minute.....how could I have prior knowledge of his condition? What the hell is his condition?"

"All in the name my dear.....BRUISE Lee."
 
Looking at the would be bandit on the ground McBubba started to chuckle, then it became a rumble, then he burst out laughing so hard he almost fell off his horse at Arista's expression of bewilderment and anger. "Serves you right bitch" he thought happily as he rode up to the now prostrate man and his lawyer. "Excuse me Mr. Nixon, may I have a word with you for a moment?" he asked politely to the lawyer. "Um, yes, and who might you be good sir?" replied the lawyer. "I am a repesentative of MacBurin and Associates. I am traveling with this company as adjuster to the Lady here (he waved somewhere over in Arian's direction) and also as claims experts. Now, just a moment ago your client threatened my client and her entourage with various acts of bodily harm. Under King's Law page 356, paragraph 87, appendix D,C,G, and V, I have every right to sue you and your client for entrapment, emotional and physical distress to the group (here he waved towards Ronan's fire snorting horse). Also mental distress in the form of this man here (he points to Fook who rattled off some Far Eastern saying). Other charges also include using one too many bandits for a hold up, afterall the Kingdom has a 4 bandit rule, and with you sir brings your party up to 6. Therefore I can also tack on a charge of gross negliegence of the King's law also. Last but not least, your friend here violated the No-Bad-Puns-For-A-Name-Law, which brings a mandatory sentence of Death by placement in a sack with 30 starved crazed chipmunks if I remember the law correctly." as he finished Mr. Nixon, whose eyes had bulged at every charge and statement, began spluttering trying to deny any involvment whatsoever. Glancing over at Arista, he saw sheer astonishment on her face, and Bruise Lee was starting to make a fairly bad smell from somewhere. Looking back at Mr. Nixon he spoke again "I don't know the exact amount of money my client will be seeking but I believe it will involve somewhere between 3000 to 50000 sacks of gold. Also, I will be seeking a sentence of ten years of hard work in the Bar Association's Library for you Mr. Nixon for trying to give us lawyers a bad name." Then turning back to an even more atounded Arista he snapped angrily "Well how the hell else did you expect my father to get a title of Duke when he started out as only a butcher before taking night classes? And yes I had to learn the family trade too." at this explosion and upon putting together the earlier statement of the law firm McBubba represented and knowing who the Duke Lawyer was caused poor Nixon to faint dead away.
 
Fook

Fook had just approached Ronan and offered some of his marinated mellow-bark to calm his Arky-afflicted horse, when the "bandits" appeared. As McBubba gestured to him, he inclined his head slightly at Nixon and said politely, "Eggs should not dance with stones."

Leaning forward towards the befuddled Bruise, he added, "And as for you, remember that man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement." Satisfied, he reached for another stick of bark and studied the leaves above him.
 
Arista

OOC: LOL...thank you Darklord...much appreciated and very well done.

IC: Arista had done battle with many beings in her time but lawyers were the slimiest of the bunch by far. If it was up to her, she would have dispatched them the old way. As it was she was stunned that they had ACTUALLY found a use for McBubba besides a drunken doorstop.

Glancing over at the Duke's son, she drew her sword and growled,"How much will it cost me per head if I eliminate each one of them my way?" Before he could answer there was a flurry of movement and before long no one but the muli colored thug was left. With a menacing step and a raise of her sword, he was gone too.

Sheathing her sword, she gave a satisfied grunt and kicked away the barricade. Mounting her horse, she waved the party on.

"I doubt we will run into any more of them," She said with a chuckle,"The word that McBubba is in the party has probably spread far and wide." For the first time since starting this trip, she threw her head back and laughed long and loud.
 
Rocky finally was able to breath as they moved out. He had held onto Ariana tightly, hugging her, and trying to protect her. When it was all over, they could finally move on. Rocky kneeled down, picking up the sack of gold he had thrown at the bandit's request, trying not to let anyone notice. How would he know that these guys could handle things. People ask for something from him, he gives it. These laws and things actually confused him even more.
It didn't matter too much though. The first attack on Ariana's life, and he had been victorious. He single handedly saved the princess's life. Rocky proceeded with a little more pride than before.
 
Ariana was silent through the whole ordeal. She was surprised at Rocky holding her but she didn't object. She felt quite touched that he would want to protect her so. Now as they rode on she considered her escape. She felt bad for she would be worrying Rocky but she had to get away she could not allow them to take her to her marriage. She would not marry , she would not!
 
Fook

Ah, such a beautiful day to travel. Sunlight beaming through leafy branches, the sweet scent of pine flowing through the air, the fading footfalls of fleeing felons, yes fortune was shining on their travels. Fook was extremely pleased. Not only that it was such a fortuitious day, but he had also found a use for two Ancient Quotes within seconds of each other. While not his personal best, he was still happy that such knowledge could be called forth at will. Doubtless the other members of the entourage were mulling over his words and finding their own insights.

His eyes drifted over to Ronan bouncing painfully in the saddle. He certainly looks uncomfortable, thought Fook. Perhaps another healing method was in order. He kicked at Revered Trotting Grandfather's sides to hurry over, and a few minutes later they trotted beside Ronan's horse. It had calmed down somewhat in the last few hours, but its eyes still rolled at their approach and the knight seemed to be having trouble getting it to stay in a straight line.

"You not allow time for natural healing to take place," said Fook. "If you must ride in saddle, need extra protection and quicker healing." He pulled a handful of fresh green leaves from one of his pockets and a large black pouch from another. He squeezed a globby yellow goo from the pouch over the leaves and mashed them into a sticky crinkling mass, then held it out. "Place this under your buttocks."

Ronan grimaced, but reached out and took the wet leaves from Fook's hand. He pushed himself up in the saddle and started to reach under. "No," Fook said, raising a finger then pointing. "It must go against the skin, otherwise just stain saddle. Here," He pulled out another handful of leaves and squirting the sticky juice on them. "You need bit more."
 
Arista

They traveled the rest of the way in peace. Word must have spread that they had a lawyer with them. That would scare off any rouge faster than hearing that they had two knights. Fighting with a sword was one thing....fighting with half truth's and misconceptions quite another!

Calling a halt as the sun sank in the horizon, Arista found a large clearing and had the provision wagon pull in and set up so that the cook could get dinner ready while they all set up their tents and prepared for the night.

The princess' tent would come first and she had a sore Ronan help her set up the massive thing. It was so big that all of them could have slept in it and it required a horse which was tied to the provision cart just to carry it. If Arista had her way, the brat could have slept outside come rain, shine or a really bad hail storm.

But, being a good knight and wanting to keep her job, she and Ronan got the tent set up and them moved to set up their own bedding for the night. Arista herself simply unrolled her bedroll and that was that. She loved to sleep out under the stars at night, especially when she had to clear her mind like she did right now.

Standing and looking around, she noticed that about two days journey they would come to a mountain. It was rumored that a fierce dragon lived in the mountain and that any who passed were roasted and eaten.

Arista scoffed at the thought. Folk tales to keep children in at night. But still, it seemed as if there was an unusual rumbling sounding from deep within.

Chiding herself for such thoughts, she nevertheless noted to herself to take the path wending away from the mountain. It would be a little longer but it wouldnt do to have the people she was protecting uneasy. With that thought, she set up a spot near the princess' tent and set about making sure that she didnt run away.
 
Rocky began sweeping the ground of the tent. It did make life on the road seem a little more homey. He smiled as he swept it all outside, right onto someone sleeping spot.
He looked to see if anyone had seen it, luckily no one had. He moved cautiously back inside.
"Princess, dinner is almost ready, I have made your favorite."
She had been so down since they had left the castle, he wondered if something was wrong. Truth be told, she hadn't been all right since this whole talk of a vacation was told.
He went outside, to talk to Arista, and maybe to straighten this whole thing out.
"Arista... Arista."
He caught up with her.
"Look, I don't think the princess wants to go on this vacation very much. She has been depressed, and hasn't talked to me or anyone. She looks sad, not anything like the normal princess I know. Is it ok if we stop this trip and go back home? Or could I just take the princess back myself? That way the princess can be happy again. Why did you take her on a vacation if she didn't want to go?"
 
Ariana played the part of a docile girl quite well. She sat in her tent and followed Arista without question. But this was all just as act.. she had a plan for that night all she had to do is wait until everyone falls asleep then she can sneak away and go back to the castle. She shook her head, that wouldn't work. Her father would be furious. She could go to her Aunt's home in the country, that would be nice. Very nice indeed.
 
Arky

It was a glorious summer night, the stars were shining, the whipoorwills were whipping, and the crickets were chirping. Everyone had set up their sleeping sites, comfortable in the warmth of the evening. Arky turned to Ronan, "Boy! Gotta job for ye. Need some twigs about so long." Grateful for any excuse to be away from the mage's immediate area, Ronan scampered off to fetch twigs.

On his way back, Arista noticed the pile of twigs in his arms. She asked him what they were for, and he told her Arky had asked for them. Ronan supposed the old mage wanted to build a small fire, to warm his aging bones. Arista nodded, and walked off, stopping suddenly as she realized that Arky didn't need fuel for any fire...

Ronan approached the center of the clearing, where Arky stood with his back to him, then...

KABLOOM!

The center of the clearing was a 30-foot tall, roiling mass of eldritch green flame! Stepping calmly from the center of the conflagration, wisps of smoke coming off of him, Arky approached Ronan. "Ah, good! Ye've got me twigs! Can't have a campout without roasting marshmallows, now can ye?" Arky fumbled about in his robes a bit, then pulled out a small pouch. "Marshmallows," he said, reaching into the pouch to pull out a cloth-wrapped package, somehow larger than the pouch from which it had been pulled. Opening the package, Arky revealed a pile of marshmallows. "Now take one of these, stick it on the end of yon twig, like so, and roast it over the fire!"
 
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