A Little Self-Help Goes A Long Way

[AsylumSeeker]

Everyone is eager to find a compatible editor.

I find myself spending an inordinate amount of time fixing problems that shouldn't be. STOP THE COMPLEX SENTENCES! A few are okay but keep them simple. The shorter the HOTTERl

Review your work and edit as required. And then LOOK for an editor.

The reason I say this is my window of oppunity is closing.

Shit, gotta go...

 

[AchtungNight]

I agree, pal. I try to do that, always. Hopefully it will work well again. {fingers crossed}

 

[snooper]

Everyone is eager to find a compatible editor.

I find myself spending an inordinate amount of time fixing problems that shouldn't be. STOP THE COMPLEX SENTENCES! A few are okay but keep them simple. The shorter the HOTTERl

Review your work and edit as required. And then LOOK for an editor.

The reason I say this is my window of oppunity is closing.

Shit, gotta go...

Tut, tut. All those short sentences are fine to give the reader a sense of urgency or breathlessness. Compare your posting above with:

I find myself spending an inordinate amount of time fixing problems that shouldn't be. STOP THE COMPLEX SENTENCES; while few are okay you need to keep them simple especially at climaxes when shorter sentences are HOTTERl

Review your work and edit as required before you LOOK for an editor, because my window of opportunity is closing. to see what I mean.

 

[AsylumSeeker]

Not entirely sure what Snooper is getting at. In stories I have edited there have been three to four sentences strung together with as many commas. Yes, there are times where a semicolon is useful, and I have both used and promoted its use.

Please, enlighten me. You may think you already have but I'm not seeing the story you're trying to tell.

There may be something I can learn from this and I truly welcome a learning experience so I may better serve myself and others.

 

[snooper]

... Please, enlighten me. ...

Read your version aloud - then mine. Which one sounds breathless and hurried?

 

[Guest]

Too many short sentences get extremely boring. Too many long sentence get extremely boring. Too many sentence of the same size get extremely boring.

Mix it up!

 

[AsylumSeeker]

Snooper, I do see your point. As I also do Proofeader. When I edit my own stories (is that incestuous?) I use a combination of both. Without going back and actually collecting stats, I'd guess that I probably use 2/3 short sentences mixed with 1/3 compound. But compound after compound sentences gets mundane.

I never claimed to be a great editor. I don't have a command of the finest rules. But I know what sounds and flows well. And I can also help fill out a story.

I don't mean to end this sounding defensive, so allow me to add that I truly appreciate and welcome your responses. I am always a willing pupil. Criticism only makes us all better.

 

[snooper]

I wrote this (in my next novel, my ©) this morning. It illustrates my point perfectly, in that the first sentence is short, giving a feeling of her excitement, and the second one, by contrast, shows the everlasting boredom of the preparation for the event.

It took three hours to prepare Gwenllian for her first encounter with the Emir. She was bathed, massaged, shaved, bathed again, perfumed, oiled, powdered with talc, dressed in one of the harem gowns, which fastened only at the neck, and lectured endlessly on the protocol of approaching the Master’s bed, behaviour in the bedroom, behaviour after sex, when to leave the Master, how to leave the Master, and what might happen if she offended the Master.

(Not bad for a morning's work, what?)

 

[AsylumSeeker]

It left me breathless, and I could find no way to improve the flow. But such sentences are in the minority. Yours is an example that when well-written, such compound sentences not only work but may be even more inspiring than shorter variations.

I would paste in a sample of what I'm talking about but when I edit stories I feel like I have attained the trust of the writer and I wouldn't want to betray that trust. But I have read multiple sentences tied together by commas that were better represented by shorter sentences, or semi-colons. That was what I was speaking of, trying to help those new to writing streamline their stories for quicker editing.


My mind is never closed to variations thereof.