A Letter: Please Foreward

MrBates

Professor Perv
Joined
Apr 30, 2001
Posts
2,114
Hi everybody,
This is a passionate plea for all your help...I usually delete these letters, but this one really touched me, and I am sure it will break your heart also. Please, for little Billy Evans, who wrote:

I am a very sick little boy. My mother is typing this for me, because I can't. She is crying. Don't cry, Mommy!

Mommy is always sad, but she says it's not my fault. I asked her if it was God's fault, but she didn't answer and only started crying harder, so I don't ask her that any more. The reason she is so sad is because I'm so sick.

I was born without a body. It doesn't hurt, except when I try to breathe.

The doctors gave me an artificial body. It is a burlap bag filled with
leaves. The doctors said that was the best they could do on account of us having no money or insurance.

I would like to have a body transplant, but we need more money. Mommy doesn't work because she said nobody hires crying people.

I said, "Don't cry, Mommy," and she hugged my burlap bag. Mommy always gives me hugs, even though she's allergic to burlap and it makes her sneeze and chafes her real bad.

I hope you will help me. You can help me if you mindlessly forward this email to everyone you know. Mindlessly forward it to people you don't now, too. Dr. Johansen said that for every person you mindlessly forward this email to, Bill Gates will team up with AOL and send a nickel to NASA. With that funding, NASA will collect prayers from school children all overAmerica and have the astronauts take them up into space so that the angels can hear them better. Then they will come back to earth and go to the Pope, and he will take up a collection in church and send all the money to the doctors. The doctors could help me get better, then. Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Right now I can only be third base.

Every time you mindlessly forward this letter, the astronauts can take another prayer to the angels and my dream will be closer to coming true. Please help me. Mommy is so sad, and I want a body.

If you don't mindlessly forward this email, that's okay. Mommy says you're a mean and heartless bastard who doesn't care about a poor little boy with only a head. She says that if you don't stew in the raw pit of your own guilt-ridden stomach, she hopes you die a long slow, horrible death and then burn forever in Hell.

What kind of cruel person are you that you can't take five freakin' minutes to mindlessly forward this to all your friends so that they can feel guilt and shame about ignoring a poor, bodiless nine-year-old boy?

Please help me. I try to be happy, but it's hard. I wish I had a kitty. I wish I could hold a kitty. I wish I could hold a kitty that wouldn't chew on me and try to bury its shit in the leaves of my burlap body. I wish that very much.

Thank You,
Billy "Smiles" Evans (the boy with just a head, and a burlap sack for a
body.)
 
I got this too! Thought it was one of the funniest emails that I've ever read.

*Disclaimer* This in no way implies that I don't feel the utmost sympathy and compassion for those born without bodies, or awaiting body transplants
 
I was reading it, and I thought it was serious untill it got up to the burlap sack and leaves part. LoL! It's a classic!
 
sooo confused

basia, it simply isn't fair to use homer as your av. makes me think renegade has posted... and i get sooo... :confused:

(perhaps i'm just not too bright)
 
ha ha ha ha thump

Ok, I laughed so hard I fell off my make-shift chair. Cute, funny and definitely better than being deleted.
 
what about the children???

How could you all sit and laugh at this? I am shocked and saddened to see such callousness. Have you even taken a moment to think about that poor angel? Living each day waiting for those prayers to come true. He will most likely die waiting on that body transplant and be buried in the same shit filled burlap bag he had to live in each day of his pathetic wasted life. I hope you can live with yourselves. I really do.




















:cool: heh
 
Basia why did you change from that nice good looking one to home? I liked the old one better.
 
Re: what about the children???

Blushing Rose said:
How could you all sit and laugh at this? I am shocked and saddened to see such callousness. Have you even taken a moment to think about that poor angel? Living each day waiting for those prayers to come true. He will most likely die waiting on that body transplant and be buried in the same shit filled burlap bag he had to live in each day of his pathetic wasted life. I hope you can live with yourselves. I really do.
:cool: heh

geez rose... did you even READ my disclaimer?


some people are so sensitive. :rolleyes:




;)
 
too funny

That was too funny... i got that the other day... anyways big belly laugh on that Mrbates
 
Pheonyx said:
Blushing Rose how is he gonna shit with no ass?


Pheonyx-you should have asked.. how can he live without a body?

it would have been alot funnier...

:rolleyes:
 
freakygurl32 said:



Pheonyx-you should have asked.. how can he live without a body?

it would have been alot funnier...

:rolleyes:

I like mine better!
 
Re: what about the children???

Blushing Rose said:
How could you all sit and laugh at this? I am shocked and saddened to see such callousness. Have you even taken a moment to think about that poor angel? Living each day waiting for those prayers to come true. He will most likely die waiting on that body transplant and be buried in the same shit filled burlap bag he had to live in each day of his pathetic wasted life. I hope you can live with yourselves. I really do.
:cool: heh


lmao.. i will be the first to admit openly.. that i thought to myself.. "oh my god.. how the hell can someone be dumb enough to think that this is true".. then i scrolled down.. seen the rest.. and busted up laughing! I HAD THE SAME IDEA, and you beat me to it ;) :D Such wiseasses we are..
 
Re: sooo confused

pagancowgirl said:
basia, it simply isn't fair to use homer as your av. makes me think renegade has posted... and i get sooo... :confused:

(perhaps i'm just not too bright)


I thought it was Ren too! Plus Pheonyx is using YoungGun69's old av. It's all very confusing!
 
Re: Re: sooo confused

ohiobbw said:



I thought it was Ren too! Plus Pheonyx is using YoungGun69's old av. It's all very confusing!

Thats because Pheonyx is YoungGun69 reborn.
 
goes to show that even satire is not always funny
i thought it stank
i looked for the punchline everywhere
 
MrBates

You kill me....I cant stop laughing. I am reading along thinking, what a sensitive guy....and then I get to the burlap bag.

My ribs hurt I am laughing so hard. Thank you, I havent laughed like this in so long.

Oh I still think you are sensitive...and sweet. Just hilarious as well. :D
 
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