A lasting mark...

[lne_iii]

I am no longer with my little girl that I've spoken of in the past.

I have a new girlfriend in fact...whom I love very much.

But, parts of me are never going to be able to fully let go of the former...

We still keep in touch...in more ways than one.

Something I feel strongly about...is the idea of having my ex choose a tattoo design for me. I have two tattoos already, and plans for a third. This idea struck me one day as I was spending time with my ex.

I know I will never be able to fully STOP loving her.
But the fact remains that I doubt we will ever be together again, not in a way that totally satisfies both of us. And thus, I gave up on that a while ago...

But...given the situation, what do you all think about allowing my former pet to leave her mark on my being?

Professional artists will be involved obviously, as my former pet will only be choosing the design, not applying it...if I actually follow through with this endeavor.

Thoughts?
LNE

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

I think its a kind of sweet and sentimental choice.......smiles

Only you can know if your expecting more from this providence than than a memorial/devotion. Perhaps consider what feelings future loves/partners may have as well if your to be honest about what and whom it signifys.

I wouldn't advise either way but I do wish you well.

@}-}rebecca----

 

[FurryFury]

I have an opinion. No, no, a thousand times no! When it's over, it's over. Don't torture yourself, your ex or your current lady with this. Move on, unmarked by her and try to enjoy what you have NOW.

Fury

 

[catalina_francisco]

Have to agree with FF...sounds like there is still a part of you hanging on to the past which is understandable and common, but hinders moving on in a positive manner. You may just need a bit more time to get through this.

Catalina

 

[Chicklet]

I don't think that a permanent mark is a good idea. If this girl meant a lot to you, you'll always hold her in your heart, whether or not you put something of hers on your physical body.

I think the best thing to do is to remain friends with her. Never lose touch. Always be there as her friend, and hopefully she'll do the same for you. What more could you ask, of an ex-partner?

 

[saw_man1]

Not a good idea

My vote is for no mark.

Moving into this new relationship with one foot firmly planted in the past seems unfair to the new girlfriend. It's a bad start.

Its time to move on, looking forward and not back.

 

[O'Mac]

Hoenstly, I've been through the exact same thing (still am in a lot of ways). I've also had to say goodbye to someone who meant very much to me. Sure, it seems like a tattoo may be a sweet way to remember someone, but what does this say to the person you're with now? I say move on.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

I have to agree. A tattoo will bring your ex more to the front of your mind than is healthy. It will be there when you are intimate with your new partner, commanding your thoughts - especially while it's healing and tender. That's just not fair - to you or your new relationship.

What if your new lover asks how you chose the new tattoo? Tricky...

I say either ditch the idea of a tattoo altogether

Or maybe accept that you aren't ready for a new relationship yet and either put it on hold or end it and have some time to reflect without hurting anyone.

I wish you all the best, whatever you do.

Velvet

 

[lne_iii]

Thank you all for your replies.

They were all very well thought out and spoken, and you've all convinced me that this was, indeed, a bad idea.

Pretty positive that I won't be doing this.

Thank you all again,
LNE

 

[FurryFury]

Thank you all for your replies.

They were all very well thought out and spoken, and you've all convinced me that this was, indeed, a bad idea.

Pretty positive that I won't be doing this.

Thank you all again,
LNE

That's good to hear. I think you'll be glad you didn't sometime in the future.

*HUG*

Fury

 

[VelvetDarkness]

I second that hug!

<--(",)-->

HUG

 

[saw_man1]

Commendable

It is commendable that you had the balls to solicit advice and then to at least listen to it.

One certainly can't run every idea up the flagpole but there are times when getting a little advice is a wise course of action.

 

[lne_iii]

It's rare to find such an open-minded, (also had to add intelligent/helpful to these descriptors!) understanding community of mature adults on the web.

That's one reason I enjoy this forum so much.

Thanks again everyone.

Oh and -hugs- for the ladies...thank you!
Y'all know how to make a guy feel special, I tell you.

LNE

 

[Etoile]

I have a slightly different answer. I think it depends on how long you were with the person. For the most part, I am completely against getting names of living people tattooed, even parents or children. The relationship can always change. (If they're deceased, that's less of an issue.)

But when my wife and I have been together 10 years (in 2008), I am going to get a tattoo to symbolize our relationship. I feel that 10 happy years together is a significant portion of my life, and even if we later split up, the tattoo will still represent the happier times we were together.

I had initially planned on getting her first initial, but perhaps I'll get something less tied into language and more focused on meaning.

 

[SirFace]

The emotional marks are bad enough to get rid of. Good choice.

 

[Temptress_lee]

Yeah I wouldn't have recommended it either. Getting an ex-g/fs name tattoed to your body is not a good idea. What's in the past should stay in the past. It might even make your current girlfriend wonder if your even over her and in doing so it might make her feel bad. Like she'll never get the chance to be that special to you because your so fixated on your ex-girlfriend.

 

[Master_Miles]

Why not get a root canal and have the dentist sign her name in the cap?

Seriously, the answer is NO.

Miles

 

[Master_Miles]

Yeah I wouldn't have recommended it either. Getting an ex-g/fs name tattoed to your body is not a good idea. What's in the past should stay in the past. It might even make your current girlfriend wonder if your even over her and in doing so it might make her feel bad. Like she'll never get the chance to be that special to you because your so fixated on your ex-girlfriend.

And howdy, Garland, Texas. Your awful pretty

Miles

 

[lne_iii]

I have a slightly different answer. I think it depends on how long you were with the person. For the most part, I am completely against getting names of living people tattooed, even parents or children. The relationship can always change. (If they're deceased, that's less of an issue.)

But when my wife and I have been together 10 years (in 2008), I am going to get a tattoo to symbolize our relationship. I feel that 10 happy years together is a significant portion of my life, and even if we later split up, the tattoo will still represent the happier times we were together.

I had initially planned on getting her first initial, but perhaps I'll get something less tied into language and more focused on meaning.

About 5 months.
Annnddd most of them were very turbulent.

But there's alot of emotional investment, at least on my part.
We went through alot of turbulent times together.
Her dad died.
We went through this damned hurricane together.
She was there when I got the news that said hurricane gave my uncle a heat stroke, and reduced one of the strongest/smartest men in my life to a shadow of his former self, barely able to speak/swallow properly...much less control his ability to relieve himself.

I had been fawning for this girl for 3 years before I got the courage to make a move...and the way I did, even though she had some part in it...was totally fucked up.

After the way she's treated me, most people wouldn't have even kept talking to the person, much less any of what I've done/thought of doing...

But anywho...I don't know if sharing any of this with y'all is healthy for anyone...
But I've typed it, so I'll send it.

I hope you all have a tiny bit of understanding now as to why I can't ever really let go of her.

But there again, still pretty sure that I'm not doing the tattoo thing.

LNE

 

[Etoile]

I think you've made the right decision.

 

[FurryFury]

About 5 months.
Annnddd most of them were very turbulent.

But there's alot of emotional investment, at least on my part.
We went through alot of turbulent times together.
Her dad died.
We went through this damned hurricane together.
She was there when I got the news that said hurricane gave my uncle a heat stroke, and reduced one of the strongest/smartest men in my life to a shadow of his former self, barely able to speak/swallow properly...much less control his ability to relieve himself.

I had been fawning for this girl for 3 years before I got the courage to make a move...and the way I did, even though she had some part in it...was totally fucked up.

After the way she's treated me, most people wouldn't have even kept talking to the person, much less any of what I've done/thought of doing...

But anywho...I don't know if sharing any of this with y'all is healthy for anyone...
But I've typed it, so I'll send it.

I hope you all have a tiny bit of understanding now as to why I can't ever really let go of her.

But there again, still pretty sure that I'm not doing the tattoo thing.

LNE

I think sharing always helps a little.

I don't understand not at least trying to let go. I mean that's what I try to do, let go. Then I sometimes have nightmares or flashbacks but God knows I try to let go. LOL.

I think you made the right choice too.

BEAUTIFUL Av Etoile!

Fury

 

[lne_iii]

Oh yes, I've tried to let go, believe me.

I've tried going without speaking to her, etc...
I can't do it.

I'm accepting the fact that we aren't together anymore though.
It's still hard...but I'm working through it in my own way.

My new girlfriend is helping out with that a bit.
We live across the country from one another right now, but I'm going to see her soon, as soon as I can get the money together, so...I'm thinking that will help me alot.

Anywho, has anyone here ever gotten a tattoo/permanant marking of some sort to symbolize their relationship with another?

LNE

 

[catalina_francisco]

Oh yes, I've tried to let go, believe me.

I've tried going without speaking to her, etc...
I can't do it.

I'm accepting the fact that we aren't together anymore though.
It's still hard...but I'm working through it in my own way.

My new girlfriend is helping out with that a bit.
We live across the country from one another right now, but I'm going to see her soon, as soon as I can get the money together, so...I'm thinking that will help me alot.

Anywho, has anyone here ever gotten a tattoo/permanant marking of some sort to symbolize their relationship with another?

LNE

You will get there....like all grieving, it has to work itself through in its own way and time and no amount of trying to rush the process will work, if anything might slow it down some. What used to work best for me was looking at the relationship realistically, looking at how it was as opposed to how I would have liked to believe it was. Do you mean marking to anyone as in current partners? If so, I have a branding and a cutting and will get more as time passes.

Catalina

 

[lne_iii]

I know...it's just...hard.

I have dreams still...like I did when we were together...
Of what might have/could have been.

Of course, I have these of my current girlfriend too...
I feel like such an asshole sometimes.
I feel like I should be able to "get over" her, and move on and be happy where I am in my relationship with my new girlfriend...

But it's not that easy.
Ever

But yes, I am asking if anyone ever has gotten any sort of lasting mark, regardless as to whether you are still with the person or not.

LNE

 

[catalina_francisco]

I know...it's just...hard.

I have dreams still...like I did when we were together...
Of what might have/could have been.

Of course, I have these of my current girlfriend too...
I feel like such an asshole sometimes.
I feel like I should be able to "get over" her, and move on and be happy where I am in my relationship with my new girlfriend...

But it's not that easy.
Ever

But yes, I am asking if anyone ever has gotten any sort of lasting mark, regardless as to whether you are still with the person or not.

LNE

Wish I could tell you different, but for me I still dream of people from 30 years ago who I got over decades ago. Think it is one of those quirks of our minds. I don't find them disturbing anymore, just a reminder of various stages in my lifes journey.

Catalina