A few thoughts...

[PacificBlue]

Sunday night was upsetting for me. It was upsetting for the way the posts took a down hill spiral and for the pm's that I received from a variety people...some I'd talked to before and some I'd never spoken with. I've given myself a couple of days to think on it before responding. I'm doing so in a post because I have nothing to be ashamed of. I'm not ashamed of me. I'm ok. I've been here for a year this month. In that short time, I've seen posters come and go and a group of 'regulars' stay. I've stayed and in that year a lot has changed for me in my 'real life' away from the computer monitor. You can't see that part of me just like I can't see that part of you.

My life journey is no worse, no better than anybody else's...I'm just trying to make it through the best I can just like everyone else. I'm still learning. I imagine I'll be learning until the day I leave this earth...hopefully sometime in my 90's. Just because I haven't learned to laugh at myself the way some of you have learned to do with yourselves, does not make me a bad person, weird, strange, etc. I believe we all have lessons to learn and we learn them when we are ready. Some of the lessons I've already learned about life, you may just now be in the process of learning. If everybody was the same life would truly be boring. Why is it that it seems people are always trying to mold others to act, behave, and think just like they do?

I think that 'some' of the assumptions made about me are untrue. I don't always word myself well and sometimes I come across in a way that I hadn't intended. I'm not perfect. I never claimed to be. I do find it hurtful that 'some' think they have me all figured out based on thread titles and reading my posts and then feel the need to say so to the rest of the board. Maybe I asked for it by posting what I was feeling. Maybe that's what free speech is all about. I do vent here a lot, I do admit that. I felt in the past very free to do so. Sunday night taught me a lot.

I will close with this... You don't know me based on what I write here. You've never gone for a walk with me, seen my eyes, heard my laugh, seen my smile, sat and talked for an afternoon, or even held my hand. I am not weak and I am not an open book that can be read in one chapter.

How is it then possible to make 'judgments' about me...

~PacificBlue~

 

[Meltzer]

that was a mouthful

be who you are. fuck everyone else. thats all i got

 

[PacificBlue]

Thank you for your response Meltzer.

 

[BigDawg69]

Be you babe!

That's all anyone can ask! More importantly that's all you hsould ask of yourself.

 

[plasticman33]

I will close with this... You don't know me based on what I write here. You've never gone for a walk with me, seen my eyes, heard my laugh, seen my smile, sat and talked for an afternoon, or even held my hand. I am not weak and I am not an open book that can be read in one chapter.

How is it then possible to make 'judgments' about me...

~PacificBlue~

I don't know what transpired Sunday night as I rarely get on over the weekends.

I've read your posts over the past year or so and have never seen anything that should or could be criticized. You are an intelligent and I believe, a beautiful woman. No matter what anyone posts, it is impossible to really know someone without intimate contact and communication. Your last paragraph summed it all up in a nutshell! Just continue being you and the hell with what a few disgruntled people think. They have the problem, you don't!

 

[estevie]

I'm with plastic, I have no idea what happened Sunday night. Must have been rough tho.

Blue, there are always going to be those that judge us. Think they know what we are about. They don't. Especially here on the net. Its not something that is ever going to change. People are people. Some are fucked up in their thinking...some are not. I have been judged here before...and I say fuck them! Who the hell are they to me anyway? No one...some idiot who can't keep their mouth shut about others when they have no room to talk in the first place.

Be who you are. You don't need to change to make others happy. You don't need to post things that you think others may want to hear. Be you. There are those of us who like you just the way you are. Rants and all!

 

[SilverVeil]

Don't know what happened Sunday night. Don't care cuz it's not my business. But if you feel people are judging you based on assumptions, just remember the first three letters of the word babe.... ASS. So if people are being jackasses about things you say here, screw them, you can always turn the screen off on them. There are some people who's posts I avoid like the plague. I don't know what they are like in real life, and I don't care. HERE they are being asses and I have enuff of that in my life. So rather than allow their assyness ( is that a word ? ) to get to me, I avoid them. You know what the names are, don't open the PM's, don't click on their threads, and scroll down when you see their name in a thread you are reading.

Hope things get better for you babes... life is too short to let things in cyberspace get to you.

 

[april-wine]

I have told you before.....You are beautiful inside and out.....Don't allow anyone to make you feel less than you are.....

 

[Rambrat]

as far as I can tell...I see nothing wrong with you...(but hey, I'm nuts).

you need a hug...I can tell...

 

[markb325]

PB be yourself and tell the rest where to get off. I have been trying to figure out how someone can learn about another person just by reading their post. Sorry folks it doesn't work that way.

 

[mritsme]

sounds like you had a rough sunday sorry to hear about that and i do not know you but i see that you had the strenght to think this out and write about it all calmly unlike alot of paope who would not have thought it out and just blow up and argue. I think it is great you did it this way and from how you say it i think you are strong and intelligent. I have not been here alot yet and have seen other people be totally mean or judgemental of others with no right to do so i even think ive seen someone be so mean
that the person left and don't think that person is coming back.

I fell bad for that person but anyways i hope things get better for you and i hope all the right paeople read your post and maybe they will realize to act differently.

have a good day
mritsme

 

[Jedi_Outcast]

Being able to make fun of yourself, is a defense machanism, nothing more nothing less. People do it for various reasons, mine is that If I don't, I "believe my own PR", then I get into real trouble.

I try not to make assumpions based, on what other people say. but being human those thing will be considered, even in a small way.

based on what I have read you seem to be a wise person.

What other people do and say WILL matter, It always will, the best you can do is minimize the damage and move on, ignore them if needed, and if they don't leave, confront them with your own happiness. Some people see the need to bring themselves up by tearing down others.

I seem to have missed a lot over the weekend, does this have to do with yayati and the 25 personality guy?

 

[truegentleman]

PB.

I have already told you what I think.

You are a truly special lady, you do what is right for you, not what someone else thinks is right for you.

Don't let someone make you feel less than what you are, and in your case that is one very special woman.

 

[Guest]

You wake up with you, everyday. Be true to that spirit.

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

PB, if nothing else, you can say that you can stand up for yourself. That is first and foremost one of the best life skills to have. That is not to say that is the only thing you have learned to do, but it is one of the most important things - and it goes hand in hand with learning to let what other people say roll off your back like water. The latter doesn't come easily. I am still struggling with it - sometimes what people say hurts, but it is a neccessary skill nonetheless.

Sometimes it is also necessary to just walk away from arenas where such hurt can be encountered if it gets to be too much. I have done that a number of times here and elsewhere - for my own sanity.

 

[Matthew D]

Hey PB, I don't really know what happend on Sunday but I have PMed you before but not trying to infer anything just trying to say hi I hope I haven't caused any problems. Take care