A Confession

[Ron1956]

To all the women on all the sites to whom I lied.....
I am writing this to confess a very bad wrong doing on my part. I wronged the one person in the world who I love, and who has unconditionally loved me back for 12 years. I am married. And I told you all many many lies about her. I told you about her condition, and how it made her not want me, and not have desire or energy for me in an intimate way. That was all a lie. It has been me, not my wife who has the problem. And when I said those things about her, I MADE FUN OF MY WIFE. I TOLD YOU ALL THAT I NEVER GOT DINNER OR I NEVER GOT LAID OR THAT SHE NEVER WANTED ME. THAT WAS A LIE....I WAS THE ONE WHO TURNED HER AWAY. For lying, for hurting her, for all of that, I can never say I am sorry to her enough. She in no way deserved me talking about her like that. Using MY problem, an addiction to having intimate and personal conversations with other women online, I came to tell lies and write to you the way I did, to make women feel sorry for me and show me attention that my wife was more than willing, able and desired to give me at home. I shunned that attention. I did things online, that I did not even attempt to get from my wife, who I know would have willingly given to me. I looked for things online, that I would have gotten freely right here at home. I am ashamed of myself for that. That, coupled with the lies I told her, and the dishonesty I showed her, has hurt her badly. I can in no way make that up to her. This is just an attempt to make some difference to her, and to me, and show that it was all me, trying to live in a fantasy world that, that caused me to hurt her. For this, I am truly sorry. I can only hope that EVERYONE who gets this, cannot possible blame her for anything I wrote to you. She carries no blame in anything. That burden is all on me. I do not expect her to forgive me because I am writing this, but it is another way for me to apologize to her, and make up for the hurt, deception and embarrassment I caused her, as I have done already directly to her. I am going to counseling both alone, and with my wife for this problem, both for me to for my addictive problem, and in a whole hearted attempt to save anything of my marriage I can, which is my deepest desire to do. I will not be on this, or any other website ever again, or in any way cause her more of the pain I have already inflicted upon her. She is very angry, and has every right to be. I hope you will understand, and believe that my wife has no blame here, she does not have the disabling conditions I lied to you about, and she has always been there for me, even though I did not show the same back to her. She deserves my total love and respect, and I forgot that. I HAVE ACTED AND WRITTEN THINGS HORRIBLY, AND MISTREATED MANY WOMEN ON HERE....AND ACTED LIKE AN ABSOLUTE PIG TO MY WIFE WHO HAS ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR ME...AND DONE NOTHING TO DESERVE THIS. I'M SO SORRY LORI PLEASE FORGIVE ME.

 

[serpentwrap]

It took guts to post the above. Genuine remorse will lead to genuine peace... one hopes... Best

 

[Cathleen]

To all the women on all the sites to whom I lied.....
I am writing this to confess a very bad wrong doing on my part. I wronged the one person in the world who I love, and who has unconditionally loved me back for 12 years. I am married. And I told you all many many lies about her. I told you about her condition, and how it made her not want me, and not have desire or energy for me in an intimate way. That was all a lie. It has been me, not my wife who has the problem. And when I said those things about her, I MADE FUN OF MY WIFE. I TOLD YOU ALL THAT I NEVER GOT DINNER OR I NEVER GOT LAID OR THAT SHE NEVER WANTED ME. THAT WAS A LIE....I WAS THE ONE WHO TURNED HER AWAY. For lying, for hurting her, for all of that, I can never say I am sorry to her enough. She in no way deserved me talking about her like that. Using MY problem, an addiction to having intimate and personal conversations with other women online, I came to tell lies and write to you the way I did, to make women feel sorry for me and show me attention that my wife was more than willing, able and desired to give me at home. I shunned that attention. I did things online, that I did not even attempt to get from my wife, who I know would have willingly given to me. I looked for things online, that I would have gotten freely right here at home. I am ashamed of myself for that. That, coupled with the lies I told her, and the dishonesty I showed her, has hurt her badly. I can in no way make that up to her. This is just an attempt to make some difference to her, and to me, and show that it was all me, trying to live in a fantasy world that, that caused me to hurt her. For this, I am truly sorry. I can only hope that EVERYONE who gets this, cannot possible blame her for anything I wrote to you. She carries no blame in anything. That burden is all on me. I do not expect her to forgive me because I am writing this, but it is another way for me to apologize to her, and make up for the hurt, deception and embarrassment I caused her, as I have done already directly to her. I am going to counseling both alone, and with my wife for this problem, both for me to for my addictive problem, and in a whole hearted attempt to save anything of my marriage I can, which is my deepest desire to do. I will not be on this, or any other website ever again, or in any way cause her more of the pain I have already inflicted upon her. She is very angry, and has every right to be. I hope you will understand, and believe that my wife has no blame here, she does not have the disabling conditions I lied to you about, and she has always been there for me, even though I did not show the same back to her. She deserves my total love and respect, and I forgot that. I HAVE ACTED AND WRITTEN THINGS HORRIBLY, AND MISTREATED MANY WOMEN ON HERE....AND ACTED LIKE AN ABSOLUTE PIG TO MY WIFE WHO HAS ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR ME...AND DONE NOTHING TO DESERVE THIS. I'M SO SORRY LORI PLEASE FORGIVE ME.

When will people stop lying about themselves? And huge tales they tell -- it's freaking stupid. S-T-U-P-I-D. Beyond stupid. Most get caught too, which is great! But others will continue their fake lives, even inventing people and then 'killing them off', get a spouse or give birth, it's stupid. It's also a psychological problem. Glad you're seeking help, good luck to you and may your wife do what is best for her and any children you have.



Nice tidbit on your profile!

I got caught on here and other sites....I got caught being a pig on the internet. Therefore, I haven't really been here....and don't plan on returning.

 

[Ron1956]

Selfishlishly...I'm hoping that she stays with me....

I'm not sure if that's possible right now.

You're right....I was stupid...capital S....capital T....etc.

I'm trying to figure it out though.....

Thanks for the honest and frank answer and insight....I'm hoping for more..

 

[Ron1956]

Thank you. Here's hopin!

 

[Cathleen]

Selfishlishly...I'm hoping that she stays with me....

I'm not sure if that's possible right now.

You're right....I was stupid...capital S....capital T....etc.

I'm trying to figure it out though.....

Thanks for the honest and frank answer and insight....I'm hoping for more..

Thank you. Here's hopin!

You're not supposed to be here remember? Change your password to gibberish you won't remember then log out!

 

[subgirl2]

That is the most honest I have ever heard a man be. I think he gets it, what he has done. He wrote from the heart and hopefully everything will work out for them.

 

[TheMysticMan]

You've been a twat. There's no doubt about that. I hope the pain you feel now is enough to counter it, and that you can find redemption.

I can't understand how anyone could do something like that, but I appreciate the fact that you've confessed to it all so fully makes you a much better person than all the other fuck-ups who carry the lie to the grave. Respect for that.

Goodluck.

 

[fuckmeat]

I'm sure you realise this but your apology is just the first step, if you do want to keep your wife. You must be prepared to woo her again and to work hard at regaining her trust. You need to make her feel loved, respected and wanted again. She is under no obligation to give you another chance when she knows you could fall into the same patterns again and hurt her just as badly in the future.

I think you spoke from the heart but now you have to put your money where your mouth is. From here on out, your wife is effectively the only woman on planet Earth. That's how you need to make her feel. No looking at pretty girls in the street, no keeping numbers in your cell phone that you know you shouldn't. No forums, no emails, no lies.

If you know in your heart of hearts that you can't do all that and stick to it, the kindest thing you can do at this point is confess that as well and end your marriage.

Just my thoughts.

 

[TallMan60]

To all the women on all the sites to whom I lied.....
I am writing this to confess a very bad wrong doing on my part. I wronged the one person in the world who I love, and who has unconditionally loved me back for 12 years. I am married. And I told you all many many lies about her. I told you about her condition, and how it made her not want me, and not have desire or energy for me in an intimate way. That was all a lie. It has been me, not my wife who has the problem. And when I said those things about her, I MADE FUN OF MY WIFE. I TOLD YOU ALL THAT I NEVER GOT DINNER OR I NEVER GOT LAID OR THAT SHE NEVER WANTED ME. THAT WAS A LIE....I WAS THE ONE WHO TURNED HER AWAY. For lying, for hurting her, for all of that, I can never say I am sorry to her enough. She in no way deserved me talking about her like that. Using MY problem, an addiction to having intimate and personal conversations with other women online, I came to tell lies and write to you the way I did, to make women feel sorry for me and show me attention that my wife was more than willing, able and desired to give me at home. I shunned that attention. I did things online, that I did not even attempt to get from my wife, who I know would have willingly given to me. I looked for things online, that I would have gotten freely right here at home. I am ashamed of myself for that. That, coupled with the lies I told her, and the dishonesty I showed her, has hurt her badly. I can in no way make that up to her. This is just an attempt to make some difference to her, and to me, and show that it was all me, trying to live in a fantasy world that, that caused me to hurt her. For this, I am truly sorry. I can only hope that EVERYONE who gets this, cannot possible blame her for anything I wrote to you. She carries no blame in anything. That burden is all on me. I do not expect her to forgive me because I am writing this, but it is another way for me to apologize to her, and make up for the hurt, deception and embarrassment I caused her, as I have done already directly to her. I am going to counseling both alone, and with my wife for this problem, both for me to for my addictive problem, and in a whole hearted attempt to save anything of my marriage I can, which is my deepest desire to do. I will not be on this, or any other website ever again, or in any way cause her more of the pain I have already inflicted upon her. She is very angry, and has every right to be. I hope you will understand, and believe that my wife has no blame here, she does not have the disabling conditions I lied to you about, and she has always been there for me, even though I did not show the same back to her. She deserves my total love and respect, and I forgot that. I HAVE ACTED AND WRITTEN THINGS HORRIBLY, AND MISTREATED MANY WOMEN ON HERE....AND ACTED LIKE AN ABSOLUTE PIG TO MY WIFE WHO HAS ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR ME...AND DONE NOTHING TO DESERVE THIS. I'M SO SORRY LORI PLEASE FORGIVE ME.

I think this is a fairly common problem among people here. The intimacy that is possible online is so enticing, and often so much easier than having it at home. But in a way it's like crack to certain people. They just want more and more of it and it's not ultimately fulfilling.

I resonate with what you wrote as I think that I have some of these issues, though I have never lied about my lovely wife who is always there for me, I'm certainly addicted to connecting with people here (intimate and personal conversations with women, that's a good way to put it). And I know in my heart that it will not lead to my happiness, instead if leads me further away from it.

This sort of message gives me some things to think about (I have done a lot of work on myself in this area already, but it's still incomplete).

I wish you success on your journey and applaud your willingness to be honest.

Kind regards, and if you ever want to talk about any of this stuff, you can find me in pm.

 

[Red_and_Mackie]

I HAVE ACTED AND WRITTEN THINGS HORRIBLY, AND MISTREATED MANY WOMEN ON HERE....AND ACTED LIKE AN ABSOLUTE PIG TO MY WIFE WHO HAS ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR ME...AND DONE NOTHING TO DESERVE THIS. I'M SO SORRY LORI PLEASE FORGIVE ME.

Am I the only one who read through this and thought his wife actually wrote it? That maybe she caught him in the act and wanted to send a message to the women he was screwing around with?

OR so many other options. It just sounds fishy.

But I'm the suspicious as hell type so...

 

[nerk]

I will not be on this, or any other website ever again,
I'M SO SORRY LORI PLEASE FORGIVE ME.

Points for trying, but you really undercut your efforts when 10 hours later you're back on the site, responding to people's replies.

 

[Eilan]

Points for trying, but you really undercut your efforts when 10 hours later you're back on the site, responding to people's replies.

According to his profile, he hasn't been here since July 15, so it seems like he might be trying.

Of course, he could just be checking out the boards without logging in.

 

[subgirl2]

Am I the only one who read through this and thought his wife actually wrote it? That maybe she caught him in the act and wanted to send a message to the women he was screwing around with?

OR so many other options. It just sounds fishy.

But I'm the suspicious as hell type so...

LOL That thought crossed my mind but I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Wouldn't it be great if he did write it himself?

Ah well, we may never know.

 

[Red_and_Mackie]

LOL That thought crossed my mind but I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Wouldn't it be great if he did write it himself?

Ah well, we may never know.

I hope he did write it himself. It would be a step in the right direction.

 

[4bidnfruit]

You name it~ you claim it

To all the women on all the sites to whom I lied.....
That was all a lie. It has been me, not my wife who has the problem. And when I said those things about herI am writing this to confess a very bad wrong doing on my part. I wronged the one person in the world who I love, and who has unconditionally loved me back for 12 years. I am married. And I told you all many many lies about her. I told you about her condition, and how it made her not want me, and not have desire or energy for me in an intimate way. , I MADE FUN OF MY WIFE. I TOLD YOU ALL THAT I NEVER GOT DINNER OR I NEVER GOT LAID OR THAT SHE NEVER WANTED ME. THAT WAS A LIE....I WAS THE ONE WHO TURNED HER AWAY. For lying, for hurting her, for all of that, I can never say I am sorry to her enough. She in no way deserved me talking about her like that. Using MY problem, an addiction to having intimate and personal conversations with other women online, I came to tell lies and write to you the way I did, to make women feel sorry for me and show me attention that my wife was more than willing, able and desired to give me at home. I shunned that attention. I did things online, that I did not even attempt to get from my wife, who I know would have willingly given to me. I looked for things online, that I would have gotten freely right here at home. I am ashamed of myself for that. That, coupled with the lies I told her, and the dishonesty I showed her, has hurt her badly. I can in no way make that up to her. This is just an attempt to make some difference to her, and to me, and show that it was all me, trying to live in a fantasy world that, that caused me to hurt her. For this, I am truly sorry. I can only hope that EVERYONE who gets this, cannot possible blame her for anything I wrote to you. She carries no blame in anything. That burden is all on me. I do not expect her to forgive me because I am writing this, but it is another way for me to apologize to her, and make up for the hurt, deception and embarrassment I caused her, as I have done already directly to her. I am going to counseling both alone, and with my wife for this problem, both for me to for my addictive problem, and in a whole hearted attempt to save anything of my marriage I can, which is my deepest desire to do. I will not be on this, or any other website ever again, or in any way cause her more of the pain I have already inflicted upon her. She is very angry, and has every right to be. I hope you will understand, and believe that my wife has no blame here, she does not have the disabling conditions I lied to you about, and she has always been there for me, even though I did not show the same back to her. She deserves my total love and respect, and I forgot that. I HAVE ACTED AND WRITTEN THINGS HORRIBLY, AND MISTREATED MANY WOMEN ON HERE....AND ACTED LIKE AN ABSOLUTE PIG TO MY WIFE WHO HAS ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR ME...AND DONE NOTHING TO DESERVE THIS. I'M SO SORRY LORI PLEASE FORGIVE ME.

F*cking pathetic excuse for a man to blame the woman you claim to love just because you preferred the fantasy world opposed to a real woman. Why stop now~ it seems you got exactly what you wanted! That fantasy world is probably looking pretty good about now! Congratulations!

The “confession” reminded me of the sniveling little pussies that beg the courts for mercy for being a pedophile, rapist, killer, or any other freak that is about to pay the price for their wrong doings.

 

[Ron1956]

Hi

Hi People....

Hi....I am Ron's wife. I came on here for a few reasons tonight....

1) To see if he has been on here (obviously he hasn't although I'm sure if he changed his user name he could be pretending to be someone else right now....I stopped being so naive when I saw that he couldn't even stay off of this site and others the night my mother died) and
2) To see if I remembered the passwords to all of these sites (it's amazing what my memory cannot sustain when my world cracked open and swallowed me up whole...that's what I felt like when I uncovered Ron's secret life on here).

I really do think that this either is....or can border on....a sickness. (I'm talking about him, not about any of you, please take note of that!)

I read your replies (I had to!) and they made me cry. Thank you for telling him these things....I really don't think he's been on here to read them. We are trying but wounds run so deep. And at some point....if I cannot trust him, I owe it to him to let him go too....I don't want to spend my life feeling like I'm punishing him.....and I have to try to forgive. It's just so difficult, especially when he said some really shitty things about me that aren't true...but could border on true if that's the way he feels about me....

Please keep us in your good thoughts tho....

Oh....quick PS....he did write that....but trust me when I tell ya! I read it before he sent it out! I was simply amazed at the number of women he was "with."

Thanks again....Lori....still Ron's wife =)

 

[old_scratch]

Hi People....

Hi....I am Ron's wife. I came on here for a few reasons tonight....

1) To see if he has been on here (obviously he hasn't although I'm sure if he changed his user name he could be pretending to be someone else right now....I stopped being so naive when I saw that he couldn't even stay off of this site and others the night my mother died) and
2) To see if I remembered the passwords to all of these sites (it's amazing what my memory cannot sustain when my world cracked open and swallowed me up whole...that's what I felt like when I uncovered Ron's secret life on here).

I really do think that this either is....or can border on....a sickness. (I'm talking about him, not about any of you, please take note of that!)

I read your replies (I had to!) and they made me cry. Thank you for telling him these things....I really don't think he's been on here to read them. We are trying but wounds run so deep. And at some point....if I cannot trust him, I owe it to him to let him go too....I don't want to spend my life feeling like I'm punishing him.....and I have to try to forgive. It's just so difficult, especially when he said some really shitty things about me that aren't true...but could border on true if that's the way he feels about me....

Please keep us in your good thoughts tho....

Oh....quick PS....he did write that....but trust me when I tell ya! I read it before he sent it out! I was simply amazed at the number of women he was "with."

Thanks again....Lori....still Ron's wife =)

Ok, saying the things about you that he did is pretty bad, and he is going to have to make some atonement for that, but is playing online really that bad?

Other than overloading his mocking bird ass with his alligator mouth, (disrespecting his wife to other people), if that is all he did, is playing online really such a crime? A lot of couples play online, sometimes together, and sometimes even with each other, and for some couples, it can spice-up their sex-life.

Divorce really doesn’t sound like an wanted option for either of you, so, maybe both of you need to re-evaluate your relationship, and perhaps explore new horizons together.

Even the best of marriages can become mundane after a while, maybe both of you need a little spice in life, and checking out the spice rack together can be fun.

Life is all in how you look at it........

 

[Mac98]

Ok, saying the things about you that he did is pretty bad, and he is going to have to make some atonement for that, but is playing online really that bad?

Other than overloading his mocking bird ass with his alligator mouth, (disrespecting his wife to other people), if that is all he did, is playing online really such a crime? A lot of couples play online, sometimes together, and sometimes even with each other, and for some couples, it can spice-up their sex-life.

Divorce really doesn’t sound like an wanted option for either of you, so, maybe both of you need to re-evaluate your relationship, and perhaps explore new horizons together.

Even the best of marriages can become mundane after a while, maybe both of you need a little spice in life, and checking out the spice rack together can be fun.

Life is all in how you look at it........

Different stokes for different folk, though. I'm guessing she probably isn't as open to that idea as some...

 

[Ron1956]

Hi Old Scratch,

It was much more than harmless play....and to be quite honest, if it wasn't so opposite of who he is with me....I wouldn't even have minded so much.

But it's the total dishonesty, the trying to meet up with women (which, despite his denial, I may never know whether he did or not....I, after being married for 12 years, had to go to my doctor to get HIV tested. Talk about a sobering event), the telling very young and very naive women (women is a stretch....more like girls) that he was in love with them) and just the NUMBER of them that there were....he was searching for something I couldn't give him, and I'm hoping he figures out what that is.

Add to it that we hadn't had sex in almost two years, despite me trying EVERYTHING to have that happen.

He is getting to the bottom of it though....I'm hoping, quite honestly, that he does...but still unsure if the damage is already done. This is the second time I've caught him doing this shit...the second time (this time) much worse than the first....but the first time it happened I wound up forgiving him. After a year of couple's therapy, and the marriage counselor telling me, basically, that he may never figure out why he did it....but that I had to make a choice to forgive or not because, basically, going over and over it was just torture on both of our psyches....I decided the former. I found out after THIS time that even during that year, he had only stopped for the first month and then was back to it.

THIS time, the only hope I DO have is that the therapist (a different one, of course, LOL) thinks that it's actually IMPORTANT for him to figure out why he was pulled so far into a fantasy instead of looking at what he had (reality? me? I'm not sure) and what's so scary about that.

Thing that blows MY mind is that after serving our country for 23 years, you would think that he would have the balls it took to be in a REAL relationship??? I dunno....somehow, after being in a war....having to face life and death situations....one would think that these would NOT be the problems this guy has.

Then again.....(and trust me when I tell you....I am NOT a prude by any length....I am sexually playful and exciting, if not BORDERING quite a bit above the norm (I've been called "Tigress" in quite a fond manner in the past LOL) and keeping in mind that after 12 years, things DO tend to fall into somewhat of a routine....when a woman is not only willing, but practically CHASING her husband around for his sexual attention, and he'd rather jack off to some computer?.....there's an intimacy issue there.

He's working on it....we're working on it....and I appreciate your comments. I hope you don't think I'm being defensive to you....it's been a terribly rough year, and to say out loud that I may lose everything I've worked very hard for....including my long term love....my house....say nothing about the rest of my pride and self worth....it's such a crappy thing.

Had he been honest....had he not done this ALL behind my back....and had he not gotten emotionally attached to others....heck, I can say with about 80% certainty that this would have not bothered me at ALL.

Thanks for your reply....Lori

 

[qrayze]

any one else think it's strange how "lori" would visit a site 3 months after "ron" left? and, seriously, I want to know why she would have the usernames and passwords of all those accounts if they were so secret. and if "ron" gave them to her, why didn't she just change the password and delete the email account (which was also probably a secret).

This whole thread seems like a farce...especially the posts by "ron" and "lori"







It's probably some hermaphrodite with multiple personalities...







Oh, and if by any stretch of the imagination that this really is true: Lori, a cheater will always be a cheater. Stop being so codependent and leave him already.

 

[old_scratch]

any one else think it's strange how "lori" would visit a site 3 months after "ron" left? and, seriously, I want to know why she would have the usernames and passwords of all those accounts if they were so secret. and if "ron" gave them to her, why didn't she just change the password and delete the email account (which was also probably a secret).

This whole thread seems like a farce...especially the posts by "ron" and "lori"


It's probably some hermaphrodite with multiple personalities...


Oh, and if by any stretch of the imagination that this really is true: Lori, a cheater will always be a cheater. Stop being so codependent and leave him already.

Actually, her story sounds pretty common. She isn't the first woman to be saddled with a skirt-chaser.

 

[Eilan]

any one else think it's strange how "lori" would visit a site 3 months after "ron" left? and, seriously, I want to know why she would have the usernames and passwords of all those accounts if they were so secret. and if "ron" gave them to her, why didn't she just change the password and delete the email account (which was also probably a secret).

This whole thread seems like a farce...especially the posts by "ron" and "lori"

I'm not going to go so far as to say that I think this thread is a farce; the writing styles do seem different.

I know it's gonna sound bitchy, but if "Ron" is upholding his end of the deal and staying away from Lit, then "Lori" should probably stay away as well. Clear the profile, clear the cookies, forget the password, and don't come back. Work on salvaging your RL relationship (if that's what you want to do) instead of rubbing salt in old wounds and obsessing over what can't be undone.

Good luck to you both.

 

[subwannabe]

I think the whole thing is a crock of shit

 

[DarkBee]

I think the whole thing is a crock of shit

Isn't a sub only allowed to speak when his/her master tells him/her to?