A closer look at pain?

[YinandYang]

I have questioned myself so many times over the last year, as to why I like to submit. I understand these reasons in myself in that I am the complete opposite in everyday life and I think therefore is feels a kind of relief for me.

However the pain aspect I still don't understand, I don't feel a HUGE need to find out why, but would like to hear other peoples perspective on this.

What is it about feeling pain that turns you on?
How does your body and mind react?
Do you crave for pain from your SO?
Does this reflect in your everyday life ie do you have a high pain threshold?
How does your body and mind react when you know the pain is coming?
Do you crave the mindfuck or the actual pain?
Is it the intent behind the pain that is a turn on also?

For me when i feel pain at the hands of my SO, I actually move closer to him, longing and wanting him to continue. In reality if someone in the street came and slapped me across the face I would probably cry lol. I do have a high pain threshold, (I am a woman LOL) i often wonder if this gives me more stamina to endure long sessions or scenes.

What are your how's and why's on this subject?

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Read some of these

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=111730

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=112820

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=123521

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=142760

Feel free to add comments to any of them.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Tsk tsk, you missed this one AA, https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=290591 , though I tend to think this new thread might be good for a fresh approach....I will return when more time permits. I think overall there are few subjects which have not been discussed here previously, though many angles yet to explore and always fresh input to the discussion by new posters and those who may have moved to another place in their journey....for these reasons, it is good to have new threads as much as I am into recycling.

Catalina

 

[YinandYang]

oops I missed that one...thankyou

 

[shy slave]

there are too many threads for me to go back and answer in one of those.

Perhaps I am not 'shy' but lazy

You ask some interesting questions yinandyang.

For me pain is difficult to take at the time, yet as soon as it stops i crave it and need it I am disappinted in myself that he felt the need to stop.

I crave the mindfuck leading into the pain more than the pain itself.

If I can get to a point where I am very focused he can lead me bnto the pain without the pain itself being painful.

The intent behind the pain has to be that I am taking it to please him. This is the biggest motivator to continuing to undertake something that I would usually dislike.

 

[Nyte_BlackRose]

A part of it has to do with the processes of the body. When you are in a heightened sexual state, any stimulation is percieved in a sexual manner. Stimulation at all becomes stimulation to your mood, as the sex urge is close to, if not, the most powerful emotional state/drive in humans. Most people's hang ups to certain stimulation in a sexual setting has more to do with a programmed response, a conscious dislike of something, or a decided notion that it is negative and a turn off. While this is all well and good, there are some for whom this does not hold true. Humans are just too varied in thier individual psychologies for any rule or theory to be 100% true.

 

[TaintedB]

there are too many threads for me to go back and answer in one of those.

Perhaps I am not 'shy' but lazy

For me it isn't laziness, but rather a strong enthusiasm for an an ability to learn the most from that which is LIVING. In terms of thread-writing, that means the fascinating dialectical process that goes on when minds reading a forum at the present point in time interact with each other, stimulate each other, even piss each other off. I don't want to read some old report about what people thought weeks, months, or years ago, _even if I know and like those people_. A fresh thread written by someone who is current in the forum is a lot more interesting and dymanic to respond to than some old dead piece of history. Knowing my luck, if I read a dead thread, the only comments I'd want to respond to would be written by people who haven't checked in here in months, and who will never respond back. If I want to know what people thought about this subject a year ago or even a few months ago, I'd go dig in the dust. But I'm interested in reading, responding to, and starting threads with people who are right here right NOW.

All of these topics got repetitive for me many, many, many years ago. But somehow when someone interesting brings the subject up again and starts a new thread about it I see it in a new light and it stimulates me mentally in ways that dead threads written by people no longer here and whom I could care diddly-sqaut about or by people who _are_ here but who have probably changed considerably (I am of the opinion that a week's span of experience makes considerable changes in an individual) since they posted in the older thread can never do.

 

[babiesmiles]

For me its not the pain in itself but the control of myself which the pain give to the other . This is the turn on in my ( little) experience about pain .

 

[catalina_francisco]

What is it about feeling pain that turns you on?

I'm not sure there is an easy answer to that for me, nor one that fits every day, every situation.

How does your body and mind react?

To the best of my analysis so far, both my mind and body find peace in painplay. The physical pain relieves stress, tension, and a myriad of emotions like nothing else can. It also acts as a weapon against insomnia.

Do you crave for pain from your SO?

Unbearably so, and to be denied it too long results in both of us being less than pleasant to be around.

Does this reflect in your everyday life ie do you have a high pain threshold?

Not necessarily. Some medically derived pain I can endure better than others, but it is different from the pain of SM.

How does your body and mind react when you know the pain is coming?

Heightened awareness, anticipation, hunger, calm....all depends on the moment and mood.

Do you crave the mindfuck or the actual pain?

Sometimes both, other times I don't care. We are not big on creating elaborate scenes preferring I think to use that energy/time in actually playing with the pain more so than the threat or promise of it.

Is it the intent behind the pain that is a turn on also?

In some ways but not all at all times. Sometimes it is simple, sometimes it is complex.

Catalina

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

What is it about feeling pain that turns you on?
The turn on in pain for me is simple. My body craves extremely intense situations and feelings. Pain provides some of that for me.

How does your body and mind react?
Normal reactions include but are not limited to: intense heat, extreme sleepiness,
a jump in endorphins which kick into all kinds of feel good emotions. Pain play (depending on the type of pain) can soothe or hype me.

Do you crave for pain from your SO?
Most of the pain I crave is purely physical. The emotional aspect I only WANT from my S/O but physical pain can be taken (and liked) from any source.

Does this reflect in your everyday life ie do you have a high pain threshold?
My pain threshold is relatively high...though sharp pointy pain (like knife play...whartenberg wheels) earns a different reaction than more blunt pain.

How does your body and mind react when you know the pain is coming?
I usually relax...sad but true. The initial build up and first touch (belt, strop, knife, razor..whatever) just eases me. My brain goes into drowning mode..each touch is more intense, better than the last. There is never any change...when pain is coming, I just utterly RELAX.

Do you crave the mindfuck or the actual pain?
I need the pain..hurtful poundings, the marks, lines of blood on my skin, hot wax, clamps and clips, smacks..I am not into the mindfuckery aspect..that is more how I like to play with my submissives...

Is it the intent behind the pain that is a turn on also?
The intent is all when it comes to pain..my Sir gives me pain because I like it, not because He likes giving it...it's like a hair pull and face slap releases me. He knows it and endeavors to provide. Punishment for me is lack of pain, lack of sensation play, lack of His time.

Hope that helps...

 

[CptrdRose]

For me, a lot of BDSM is as much mental as it is physical. When my former Mistress used to play with me, she would always start the pain out at a reasonably tolerable level and then ramp things up. Maybe this is how most Dom/mes do it, I don't know. But as I sink into subspace, I register the pain as such less and less, even though the strokes are getting harder and harder. I don't crave the pain so much as I crave the effect it has on me. It calms me like nothing else can. I can be tied up tight, have nipple clamps on and be getting flogged like no tomorrow and I'm totally relaxed and feel wonderful. How I feel when I know the pain is coming really depends. Usually I'm really looking forward to it. If it's something that's a little intense for me, I might be a little tense, but I was lucky that my Mistress could always calm me with a single word or touch.

I think I answered most of your questions.

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

What is it about feeling pain that turns you on?

Couldn't tell you. I process certain kinds of pain as pleasure.

How does your body and mind react?

It depends on what kind of space I'm in at the time. Sometimes pain is a good releaser of heavy stress, and he plays me that way, like an instrument. Other times, It's more relaxing and pleasurable. Then there are times when he's going for endurance. *shrugs* It all depends on what he thinks I need. He knows me VERY well, and we've often discussed it beforehand.

Do you crave for pain from your SO?

I am not a craving person. I do get ansty and stressed if we haven't had the opportunity to play in a while because of our fucked up schedules. I don't beg every night, however. I wait, as patiently as I can

Does this reflect in your everyday life ie do you have a high pain threshold?

Erotic pain, and ouchy pain are different. They don't have anything to do with each other. Ouchy pain fucking hurts. LOL.

How does your body and mind react when you know the pain is coming?

I welcome it. My mind is open, and I am completely in the moment. I don't go into subspace any more. I used to, but I don't anymore. I prefer to just feel each strike these days. I crossed some weird masochistic line somewhere back there a year or two ago. I get a certain amount of endorphin rush, but not that massive drop you into nowheresville rush I used to get. I used to not even be present when he beat me. LOL. Bummer to miss a caning....no fun for him.

I like things much better now

Do you crave the mindfuck or the actual pain?

I like the pain. He does mindfucks all too well. It's scary and they freak me out LOL. The last one was simply a verbal, fully dressed, sitting across the table, emotional mind fuck. I was completely wrung out by that one. It was to teach me a lesson, and it worked. I'll take pain ANY DAY.

Is it the intent behind the pain that is a turn on also?

I like knowing that he loves to hurt me. That it turns him on. THAT intent is my turn on as much as the actual pain itself.

~Anelize

 

[TaintedB]

I have questioned myself so many times over the last year, as to why I like to submit. I understand these reasons in myself in that I am the complete opposite in everyday life and I think therefore is feels a kind of relief for me.

So, you aren't the sort of person who'd want to live scrubbing a floor in shackles 100 percent of the time? Or is submission a relief to you in contrast because ideally, you would like to live the life of a slave?

Here are my answers to your questions. For me, almost all of it is mental and emotional.

"What is it about feeling pain that turns you on?"
The perversity of someone doing something so cruel to me. Also, suffering in an erotic context turns me on. Yes it feels like there is a direct connection between the physical sensations and my arousal, but if certain thoughts weren't going on constantly in my head at the same time, or if the person hurting me weren't someone with an attitude I could eroticize, there would be very little turn-on.

"How does your body and mind react?"
I get very sexually turned on. Moreso than at any other time, except maybe during very rough anal play. My mind obsesses lovingly on the wrongness and unfairness of it.

"Do you crave for pain from your SO?"
Only if he was into giving it. To me, pain is part of an overall way of living, thinking, and feeling, so I'm not sure I'd miss it that badly if the basic elements of the relationship were in place and other things, like humiliation, domination, service, and the like were going on. Despite the direct physical turn-on I get from pain most of the time, in my head, it's all about what the pain represents.

"Does this reflect in your everyday life ie do you have a high pain threshold?"
It varies a lot with the context. I don't think my pain threshold is particularly high, I just get off on being hurt in sexual situations. The pain I experience in those situations hurts a lot, sometimes so much that I do not get sexually aroused at the time, but again, the direct sexual connection is not the point for me. The deep emotional gratification, the sense of the absolute rightness at the core of pervere cruelty, is.

"How does your body and mind react when you know the pain is coming?"
Depends on how bad I think the pain is going to be. I was with someone for many years who liked to mindfuck me, make me anticipate the moment. When I anticipate a really bad time coming, I do the usual stuff: tense up, hold my breath, tremble--unless of course I'm ordered, as I sometimes am, to physically relax beforehand.

I both feel fear and get turned on if I'm anticipating the pain. The harder I imagine it's going to be, the worse the fear, which is nice in itself as I find terror, in the right context, a huge aprhodisiac. I fantasize a lot, however, about unanticipated erotic pain. There's something very hot about suddenly being shocked with pain, out of the blue, totally unexectedly. I think if that were to happen, I would cry, but again, if it was in an erotic context (i.e. with the right person, no matter what the other circumstances were), a part of me would really relish it.

"Do you crave the mindfuck or the actual pain?"
That's pretty much all it is for me. If my mind and emotions didn't process erotic pain the way that they do, or if the pain were delivered in the wrong context, such as from a person who didn't enjoy giving me pain, it would do nothing for me.

"Is it the intent behind the pain that is a turn on also?"
LOL, I think the answer to that one is pretty clear from what I said above. For me, this intent has to include sadistic pleasure on my partner's side. If he were doing it all for me, it would be no good. I guess I'm not much of a pure masochist--I abhor being serviced with pain. But if my pain or suffering or discomfort or hurt or fear or distress or whathaveyou (including all forms of pain here, not just the physical) actually turns someone else on (again, who that someone is, is pretty important), all is right in my world.

You also said:

"....i often wonder if this gives me more stamina to endure long sessions or scenes."

The heaviest masochists I've personally seen have all been men, although I tend to wonder how these fellows would bear up under childbirth. I don't have a strong opinion one way or the other, however, on which sex can take the most.

 

[sunfox]

What is it about feeling pain that turns you on?

- There's no mystical connection that occurs, if that's what we're looking for here. It doesn't really deepen my relationship with C.. that happens in little ways every day. What it does do is give me pleasure. Not reluctant pleasure, not shamed pleasure, just 'oh god that hurts.. please can I have some more' pleasure.

How does your body and mind react?

- My mind is a busy place, and pain tends to ground me and keep me in what is going on. Without it, I can sometimes be multitasking in my thoughts, and that's not what either of us desire. My body reacts with arousal, of course.

Do you crave for pain from your SO?

- Yup. I'm a masochist. But I'm a loyal one. I don't crave pain from just anyone, and if someone marched up and slapped -me- on the street, not only would I not enjoy it, I'd hit them back. Probably with a closed fist. (-That- I might enjoy.)


Does this reflect in your everyday life ie do you have a high pain threshold?

- Yes, I have a very high pain threshold. I don't, however, seek out pain in everyday life.. there is no arousal for me from straightforward pain, like shutting my finger in a door. Only in erotically induced pain.

How does your body and mind react when you know the pain is coming?

- Anticipation, rush of arousal, fear, desire.. all the good stuff.

Do you crave the mindfuck or the actual pain?

- The pain. Mindfucks are all well and good, but if someone made me think they were going to cut me with a blade, for example, then was faking me out, I would have difficulty trusting them afterwards. I prefer my mindfucks unrelated to my pain desire.

Is it the intent behind the pain that is a turn on also?

- Without a doubt. I love that he enjoys making me squirm/beg/scream, and I know he likes how it makes me react and feel. Mutual gain situation.

 

[YinandYang]

Thanks so much for answering these questions I have, Its nice to see the variations and how others lie with regards to the spectrum.

What is it about feeling pain that turns you on?
Nyte Blackrose, you put this perfectly, I never really saw the connection before, it does feel completey different once aroused. It feels good, which also goes against my rational mind, I suppose thats where the confusion comes from.
How does your body and mind react?
My body moves towards the pain, rather than away from it, which is another contradiction in my mind (my life seems to be full of them lol) My mind tells my body I should be scarpering, so...mind and body at odds with each other.
Do you crave for pain from your SO?
Yes I do, and only him. I think is because I know it pleases him, and therefore gives me immense pride.
Does this reflect in your everyday life ie do you have a high pain threshold? I do have a high pain threshold, but I think that differs depending on my emotions. If I feel highly emotional, 'that time of the month' for example, i could burst into floods of tears from just stubbing my toe. And I think Nyte Balckrose's answer applies here also, pain is bearable and even pleasurable when aroused.
How does your body and mind react when you know the pain is coming? Its the anticipation, the look in his eyes, the knowing he is going to do exactly as he wishes, the lack of control for me that turns me on. Also that I know he wouldn't bother or have no inclination if he didn't love me.
Do you crave the mindfuck or the actual pain?
Both, one follows the other perfectly, I think if they were handed out seperately it wouldn't be so powerful.
Is it the intent behind the pain that is a turn on also?
Yes! He is doing it because he gets pleasure from it, whatever the reason, be it a punishment or a reward.

 

[YinandYang]

So, you aren't the sort of person who'd want to live scrubbing a floor in shackles 100 percent of the time? Or is submission a relief to you in contrast because ideally, you would like to live the life of a slave?

TaintedB, I havent really been close to a 24/7 situation consentually before. I do not live with my partner, so everyday living is solely down to me. The house, the care of my children etc. It does have stirrings of something I could explore inside. When he is here, it is his home...but for the most part the actual being and living is down to me. I am quite an independent and willful person, which is completely at odds to the submissive me at other times. There are times when he exerts his dominance other than play time, and it does feel good. But there are times (and he never has) when dominance would be totally innapropriate and unnacceptable to me, decisions concerning my children for example. I spent 7 years in a marriage that was very one sided, being used and taken for granted, a non consentional act of slavery on my part lol. But to be in that situation and know that you are 100% unconditionally loved, would to me, feel so different. I may get to a point of needing that, I may not...its a question I can't really answer in my understanding now.

 

[lisasmurf]

I like some PainI like hot wax and ice cubes

I like to start with my legs and work up slowly my body
pass my pubic area has it drips a trail of wax up to my breast, then onto my nipples then back to the pubic area, even onto my pussy.
to have it done to you is hot.
if you want start have hole the candle like 24INCH away, see how hot it is there.. then lower to a pain, of you almost want cry..
it awaken a part in your body that can be very erotica.
being tied up can be a cool way to go about it, But you got have a safe word, spot isn't one of them!
I AM NOT heave into pain or bondage. it just a spice thing!

remind Hubby if he does it to you,, your going to do it to him back!
Payback can be a bitch!, so stay with in any rules you have!

and a good Spanking!

 

[Xelebes]

What is it about feeling pain that turns you on?
How does your body and mind react?
Do you crave for pain from your SO?
Does this reflect in your everyday life ie do you have a high pain threshold?
How does your body and mind react when you know the pain is coming?
Do you crave the mindfuck or the actual pain?
Is it the intent behind the pain that is a turn on also?

Question Number uno:

Pain arrests my mind - I worry too much and the pain reminds me to stop and focus on something that is really there, my body is sensing. This in turn relaxes my body. Beyond the worrying, it also has that after feel of it which doesn't feel like pain but something which words fail to describe me - an afterglow of some sort or pride.

Wait... that answered two... I guess it answers number one too as the relaxation is one of the key aspects to enjoying sex.

Question number drei:

I can only look forward to it - but yes I do.

Question number quattre:

I don't know. Pain is relaxation - only if I seek it to relax me. If there is fear and terror then yes, my tolerance plummets like a neodymium 105 magnet in a steel bucket of water.

Question number cinq

Preparation. If it can be done, lol.

Question number sexta

Mmmm... pain.

Question number hepta

*furls brow*

Don't know about this one...

 

[Aeroil]

I don't know. Pain is relaxation - only if I seek it to relax me. If there is fear and terror then yes, my tolerance plummets like a neodymium 105 magnet in a steel bucket of water........

LOL, this is the kind of joke I get . Although, Xelebes, if the bucket was deep enough, the magnet would probably hit the sides and then it wouldn't sink at all.
anyway, might as well post something on topic if I'm gonna be in here.
I don't have a very high threshhold for pain, but if I choose to I can ignore it, somehow, usually when I'm angry. I'm not a masochist, getting pain is a punishment, nothing fun about it for me. I probably could ignore getting pain as a punishment, but that just seems like I'm being deceptive, somehow, like I'm trying to deny I did something wrong by not acknowledging my punishment.
Keep in mind most of this is in theory, for me.

 

[Brinnie]

anything more than... hehe, SPANKING, lolz and I'm out.


I especially dont like to be hit.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I don't have a very high threshhold for pain, but if I choose to I can ignore it, somehow, usually when I'm angry. I'm not a masochist, getting pain is a punishment, nothing fun about it for me. I probably could ignore getting pain as a punishment, but that just seems like I'm being deceptive, somehow, like I'm trying to deny I did something wrong by not acknowledging my punishment.
Keep in mind most of this is in theory, for me.

LOL, it will be interesting when you can let us know what testing the theory brings forth.

Catalina

 

[Xelebes]

LOL, this is the kind of joke I get . Although, Xelebes, if the bucket was deep enough, the magnet would probably hit the sides and then it wouldn't sink at all.

Oh right, forgot to mention the controlled variables like the depth of said bucket and the position the magnet in relation to the sides of the bucket.

Edit - and the magnet would puncture a hole in the bucket no matter where it was placed. These magnets are used for rail guns.

 

[Aeroil]

Oh right, forgot to mention the controlled variables like the depth of said bucket and the position the magnet in relation to the sides of the bucket.

Edit - and the magnet would puncture a hole in the bucket no matter where it was placed. These magnets are used for rail guns.

hmm, I've never seen a neodymium magnet before, I've heard they're great though. Hopefully I will, they sound so cool (damn I'm a nerd).
anyway, this couldn't be more off-topic lol, let's stop talking about magnets eh?

 

[Xelebes]

hmm, I've never seen a neodymium magnet before, I've heard they're great though. Hopefully I will, they sound so cool (damn I'm a nerd).
anyway, this couldn't be more off-topic lol, let's stop talking about magnets eh?

Let's talk about our magnetism to pain....

*coughs*

 

[lisasmurf]

anything more than... hehe, SPANKING, lolz and I'm out.


I especially dont like to be hit.

I love to tie you to my bed and drip hot wax all over your naked body
I start with your little toes, work my way up passing the best parts for later, and soon i would add dripping ice cubes too ,,running both up and down your body until 20 minutes later, I hit my target!s;s;s