3rd/1st Person

[ChesterX]

Well, I'm currently working on a story and I figured I'd get some advice from some people here.

The story is mostly a romance type of story, but there is of course sex and other arousing situations throughout the story. I intend on writing it into chapters to submit one at a time and such. I'm nearing it's end and it's at about 5K words right now.

So, I'm wondering, what do most of you prefer to read? First person or third person? Each has it's own aspect to it. Write now I'm writing it in first person as the girl is kind of based off a friend of mine. I've been debating whether or not to keep it in first or change it to third.

On a side note, I am looking for somewhat of a co-writer. Someone to give me ideas on how to make it better and things of that sort. So if you're interested in helping me write this and other stories, PM me.

 

[emap]

Just use whichever you want, there are about equal levels of fans of both. As for switching don't unless you rewrite the entire story. If your using first person through most of the story then switch to 3rd or vice versa you will confuse and annoy most.

Generally best to avoid confusion and annoyance, they are rather ornery perverts when confused and annoyed.

 

[Tanuki]

I think 1st person works really well for erotica, and I love to write it myself, it feels very personal. But it really limits you, since you can't really describe anything that goes on out of sight of your character.

You could also write it in 3rd person, but primarily from the character's point of view, that'll get you some of the same closeness without limiting you as much.

 

[ChesterX]

Well, each way has it's benefits.

In first person it makes the reader feel as though they are the character. It makes it easier for them to get a grasp on the characters and such. But, a downside of this is that you can follow and completely understand only one character. And even then, it kind of appeals to only the male population as the character being portrayed is a male.

However, in third person I can write more freely as I can follow more than just one character. And even then, it could be omniscient and the narrator would be all knowing. However, then you still don't quite grasp the characters feelings and thoughts nearly as well.

I probably will stick with first person as I'm almost done and redoing it would require a lot of work.

And again, I'd like to say that I would really appreciate a co-writer of some sort. It would be very beneficial to the story. I'll probably be submitting this within the next few days.

EDIT: Another thing I'd like to know. What kind of words do most of you prefer?

Penis and Vagina I wont use because that's pretty much a horrible word for erotica. Right now I'm sticking to dick, cock, pussy, tits, and breasts. I really don't like the word cunt, kind of mean sounding now matter how you say it.

So, any specific words you guys like or any suggestions along those lines?

 

[Penelope Street]

So, I'm wondering, what do most of you prefer to read? First person or third person? Each has it's own aspect to it. Write now I'm writing it in first person as the girl is kind of based off a friend of mine. I've been debating whether or not to keep it in first or change it to third.

What most readers really prefer is a good story, right? I believe emotion is a key ingredient in a good erotic story- and first person's intimacy lets you really show that emotion. If your story can be told in first person, then why not do so?

I think 1st person works really well for erotica, and I love to write it myself, it feels very personal. But it really limits you, since you can't really describe anything that goes on out of sight of your character.

Exactly! And the longer the story, the greater chance this limitation will become an issue.

I'm nearing it's end and it's at about 5K words right now.

So how long is this story? Five thousand words total, or per chapter?

And even then, it kind of appeals to only the male population as the character being portrayed is a male.

I disagree. Just because a man is telling your story doesn't mean we can't identify with your heroine. You may also be surprised at our ability to relate to your hero.

And again, I'd like to say that I would really appreciate a co-writer of some sort. It would be very beneficial to the story.

There's a thread from earlier this year about the difficulty of finding a co-writer.

I'll probably be submitting this within the next few days.

Unless this story is meant to be part of a contest, what's the hurry?

Another thing I'd like to know. What kind of words do most of you prefer?

This probably sounds ever so pedantic, but you should choose the words your character would use to tell his story.

 

[ChesterX]

Well, I'm nearing the end a bit more as I added a few things, so this particular chapter is going to end at around 6K words. However, other chapters may contain less or more words. It depends on how much goes into a particular chapter. Each chapter is probably going to be based off certain sexual explorations. For example, this first chapter is simply the intimate relationship starting between the two characters.

As for submission time. I'm simply guessing how much time it'll take to finish it, edit any errors. Read through it several times to find things to be changed to better the story and such.

Well, if anyone has other things to add, please do. I'm looking for creative hints and such. I look forward to some comments when it's submitted. But please, don't flame, it really won't do anyone any good. Simply constructive criticism and such.

EDIT: Well, just finished it. Though I'm not done with editing and such. It's actually at 7K words. I was a bit off, lol.

EDIT2: Well, I just submitted it and I'm just waiting on approval for it.

 

[mrnicerguy]

Love co-writing. Let's chat sometime soon. mrnicerguy

 

[ChesterX]

I'll get back to you mrnice once I get to writing the next chapter of my story. Which may be soon. I'm debating If I want to start the next one right now or wait for some feedback from the first chapter. I'll make up my mind eventually.

 

[JoshuaGlynn]

Another thing you can also do to expand the view of a first person POV is to shift characters. Showing a situation from another person's perspective can add depth and is useful for plot.

an example: in one of my stories two male characters are struggling with the fact that they secretly like each other. first you see how the main character reacts to a given scene:
_____________________________

"...that’s part of the problem! It’s not… a… girl!”

“Oh… OH!”

“Yea, but the worst part is I like girls, I shouldn’t be attracted to him! I don’t understand it, I…I…”

Oh my God! Casey is going through the same thing I am! Just, for another guy at school! “Wow, so do I know this guy?”

Casey looked panic stricken, “uh…yea you’ve meet him…but I’d prefer not to tell you who..."
_____________________________

Then From Casey's POV:
_____________________________

I was panicked he was not letting this go. So I blurted the first thing that came to mind. “...that’s part of the problem! It’s not…a…girl!” Oh God I didn’t really just tell him that! Shit!

“Oh…OH!”

It was sinking in! I could tell I needed to say something quick before I lost him as a friend. “Yea, but the worst part is I like girls, I shouldn’t be attracted to him! I don’t understand it, I…I…” I couldn’t think of anything else to say I just sat there stammering waiting to see if he punched me, or yelled at me, or what!

What he said brought momentary relief. “Wow, so do I know this guy?”

Ok Casey, he’s not mad, and he still wants to be your friend. Oh God, I just told him I like another guy, I thought. The realization of me telling him my deepest secret really started to set in, I started to panic. I had to keep him from knowing that he was 'the guy'. “uh…yea you’ve meet him…but I’d prefer not to tell you who..."
____________________________

It can help to add to the conflict of a first person story. Especially if the story is romantic in nature

Hope that helps.

Joshua

 

[Kikori]

I actually find that the amount of characters and the length of the story play the biggest roles in deciding the point of view. Hell, there are a lot of factors.

First person - It's good if you have to really get in depth with a character to justify or explain something about how something happens. This way you can specify the feelings on one end, really making the person understand how it goes. This removes an all-knowing aspect, leaving you only to one point of view. You don't always know what's in store, you don't always know what the other person / people wants or thinks. This makes it sound good if you want to specify on the pleasure of one person, especially with a Dom / Sub or a first timer at something.

Third person - You can specify both feelings, both thoughts. Rather than a suspense where you have to guess what's coming, it's dramatic; you know that Sue intends to trap David in a kinky, awkward position he'd never find himself in. This leads to anticipation. This leads to knowing what the other characters feel, allowing for both the new and experienced views of multiple people. A romance novel writer, Sabrina Jeffries, took very good advantage of this by taking one woman's lack of knowledge of what an orgasm was and turning the speech style into what it would be if she were having an orgasm while not getting into first person.
(EX: His fingers were wiggling, and the heat kept stacking on itself. There was no end to how many tingles could focus between my legs; it felt like I was going to ex... to explo-o...
*Paragraph about the orgasm she had here*)

 

[LusciousLoralie]

Whatever you decide on, I look forward to reading it.

 

[Corylea]

I think first-person works best if you have a really interesting character, or a character with an unusual or compelling voice. I think third-person works best if you have a really interesting situation or plot. Of course, ideally you have both, but even then, usually people have more of one or more of the other.

 

[LusciousLoralie]

I think first-person works best if you have a really interesting character, or a character with an unusual or compelling voice. I think third-person works best if you have a really interesting situation or plot. Of course, ideally you have both, but even then, usually people have more of one or more of the other.

You bring up a really good point.

 

[JackLuis]

First or Third?

I am contemplating a story where I will shift the focus from Third to first person over multiple characters in each scean. I know it will be hard to keep it in line.

I just read a story kind of like that ,"Trapped", and I don't think Mistriss Lynn was able to keep the characters seperated or Identified with the reader, which scares me a bit.


First person is good for erotica and I haven't tried 3rd for erotica yet.

 

[LusciousLoralie]

I am contemplating a story where I will shift the focus from Third to first person over multiple characters in each scean. I know it will be hard to keep it in line.

I just read a story kind of like that ,"Trapped", and I don't think Mistriss Lynn was able to keep the characters seperated or Identified with the reader, which scares me a bit.


First person is good for erotica and I haven't tried 3rd for erotica yet.

With switching around you have to be careful. The story has to be primarily from one point of view and occasionly from another. Half and half doesn't do very well.

When writing unpublished things for myself, the majority of it is in third person but also has what I call thought qoutes. Something like
"blah blah blah" Somebody thought.
(I know that was a GREAT example)

 

[JackLuis]

3rd/1st switches

Just read a story that switched POV between 3 characters.

The transitions had to be handled very carefully and sr71plt suggusted using
****
between shifts.

I'm not sure that is such a great idea unless it is a major switch for a long sequence.

I think using dialog

" Diana thought, "Oh my god it so BIG!" "

Charlie grinned at the feel of her tight pussy and thought, "My she's a tight little twat"

Might be better?

Opinions?

 

[fieryjen]

Just read a story that switched POV between 3 characters.

The transitions had to be handled very carefully and sr71plt suggusted using
****
between shifts.

I'm not sure that is such a great idea unless it is a major switch for a long sequence.

I think using dialog

" Diana thought, "Oh my god it so BIG!" "

Charlie grinned at the feel of her tight pussy and thought, "My she's a tight little twat"

Might be better?

Opinions?

That would be jarring to me.

It depends how high your expectations as a reader are, I suppose, but I hate reading anything remotely like you suggested, unless the author really does have mad skills, and 99% of people trying this sort of PoV switch don't.

Usually I instantly back click if I read anything like it.

 

[JackLuis]

That would be jarring to me.

It depends how high your expectations as a reader are, I suppose, but I hate reading anything remotely like you suggested, unless the author really does have mad skills, and 99% of people trying this sort of PoV switch don't.

Usually I instantly back click if I read anything like it.

---------------------------------------------------------
Suggustions for handeling a scean ina Group Therapy session ?

Anyone?

 

[fieryjen]

---------------------------------------------------------
Suggustions for handeling a scean ina Group Therapy session ?

Anyone?

Well, that completely depends on what the purpose of the scene is, how long it is, what its important elements are and how you want to write it. I can't give you a one-fits-all solution, sadly.

 

[Penelope Street]

I think first-person works best if you have a really interesting character, or a character with an unusual or compelling voice. I think third-person works best if you have a really interesting situation or plot. Of course, ideally you have both, but even then, usually people have more of one or more of the other.

You bring up a really good point.

I agree. Certainly something to thing about.

I am contemplating a story where I will shift the focus from Third to first person over multiple characters in each scean. I know it will be hard to keep it in line.

Switching POV within a scene is suspect enough, but what could possibly be the purpose of changing perspectives too? It seems like a trendy gimmick, at best.

I just read a story kind of like that ,"Trapped", and I don't think Mistriss Lynn was able to keep the characters seperated or Identified with the reader, which scares me a bit.

A link to this story might be nice, because I'm just too lazy to search.

Just read a story that switched POV between 3 characters.

The transitions had to be handled very carefully and sr71plt suggusted using
****
between shifts.

What is SR71PIT? Regardless, symbols like "* * *" and "~ ~ ~" are commonly used where an abrupt change of scene occurs, and such an abrupt change would be a natural point at which to alter the POV. I wouldn't recommend using such symbols specifically to indicate a shifting point of view within a scene.

I think using dialog

" Diana thought, "Oh my god it so BIG!" "

Charlie grinned at the feel of her tight pussy and thought, "My she's a tight little twat"

Might be better?

This is classic head-hopping and it's generally frowned upon- but if you feel a need to change POV within a scene, I don't see any reason not to simply do so without fanfare exactly like in the above example. I'm assuming the redundant quotes and extra italics associated with Diana's sentence to both be unintentional.

That would be jarring to me.

It depends how high your expectations as a reader are, I suppose, but I hate reading anything remotely like you suggested, unless the author really does have mad skills, and 99% of people trying this sort of PoV switch don't.

Usually I instantly back click if I read anything like it.

I agree. When I encounter seemingly arbitrary POV shifts, I start to wonder if I should be investing my time in another story.

Well, that completely depends on what the purpose of the scene ...

Exactly! What I don't understand is why the scene in question needs to be presented from multiple POVs, and perhaps also involve more than one perspective.

 

[fieryjen]

Exactly! What I don't understand is why the scene in question needs to be presented from multiple POVs, and perhaps also involve more than one perspective.

I sometimes get the feeling that writers get... greedy, for lack of a better word, and at the same time a bit lazy (no offense intended, I just couldn't think of a better way to phrase it). They have all these ideas about what all those different characters are feeling and thinking, and and they want to convey all of that to the reader. So the many PoV shifts exist to allow for all those ideas to be crammed into the scene without any more work to be done.

It is a bit more difficult to scale back and see things only from one character's PoV. It takes discipline and planning. The author will have to make decisions on using or not using certain elements, some of which he/she maybe really did want to use but that don't fit into this certain character's PoV. The author needs to find creative ways of conveying what other characters are going through without actually jumping into their head, or maybe move certain elements back to a later scene, so they can be told from the PoV he/she wants them to be told.

It's much easier not to compromise and use the shortcut of jumping directly into the character's head when the author feels like it. Of course, that makes for much lower quality in my opinion.

I think this element is most often found in stroke stories, because it tends to have writers not overly concerned with literary merit and quality, and readers just as unconcerned with some haphazard PoV shifts. And that's fine, it works for them, but that's also why I don't like reading this type of stories at all. I can't look past it (even if I wanted to) like the fans of this type of stories can.

 

[mark_j]

I did one that was first/third switch.. it can be done if you have a clear break in POV just be sure you don't get away from the idea that both characters are in the scene.. and the only thing that changes is their perception...