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[LadyFAuthor]

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[Redd1997]

I most certainly prefer the perfect, attractive people having happy endings, and of course, great sex. The whole point of this site is fantasy, and fantasies involve things we don't already have, I married young, and am not entirely happy, it's an escape for me.

 

[Redd1997]

I'll check out your stories, I do consider myself more dominant, so I look forward to reading them.

 

[Gamblnluck]

My advice is to write stories that you would like to read. Personally while I like a good outcome for most of my characters, it is more 'they came of it okay.' and just ice is served.

 

[nice90sguy]

I read your story, and I think the problem is not that anyone's too perfect, but that there's no real emotion in the story, it's a sexual encounter, certainly nothing to give any evidince of the final sentence:

She was the love of his life, and he would never let her go.

The way the story is written, it reads like a quick fuck between two people who don't know, or particualrly want to know each other. And there's nothing wrong with that; the story would have been better posted in "Erotic Couplings".

You need to introduce some dialog between the characters. There's zero talking, except for one reported bit where she tells him she needs to go to the bathroom.

To "prove" that she was the love of his life, you'll need to flesh out the relationship a lot more, with dialog, and some pre- and post-coital scenes.

 

[nice90sguy]

Your feedback here is on the anniversary story, right?

Yes, sorry, I replied in the worng thread!

 

[VerbalAbuse]

Too long sentences? You write too long sentences, they're hard to follow. Some readers will like them, some will not.

Here's an egregious example (two, actually):

He was plunging his two fingers into my pussy now with his left hand roughly and he pulled away for a moment to smear some more ointment onto his right fingers and he worked his finger all the way inside the back passage of my ass and he was fucking my ass with his large and insistent finger.

I was wild with one of Dante's hands in my pussy and one in my ass and I was thrusting back onto his fingers now riding the waves of pleasure he was inflicting on me and he forced a second finger into my ass and now I was being fingered in my ass and in my pussy by Dante and he leaned over and bit my ass and kissed and sucked all over my lower back and the top of my buttocks.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Or does fairytale do it for you?

Not my work in particular but perfection in works in general?

Many of my stories are what I call "suburban erotica" - everyday people leadingng every day lives: nothing spectacular, no billionaires or yachts in the Mediterranean. They're real enough people, but they're written with a layer of fantasy over the characters - just plausible enough - that readers like.

I think the trick is to write characters that people can identify with enough to say, "Yes, I'd like him to look at me that way," or, "Wow, she just smiled at me!"

So: fairy tale, no; believable, yes.

 

[VerbalAbuse]

I do work on that and go back and cut them down. It’s disappointing that I don’t catch it more. Being wordy is an active issue for me that I fight. I think I rush too much when I’m editing.

What about the thread topic though? Do you prefer day to day characters and more real life angst?

Or does fairytale do it for you?

Not my work in particular but perfection in works in general?

I don't have a problem with perfect characters and fairytales. Short stories don't need and can't have really interesting characters, because to develop a character you need a longer text.

Characters can be interesting in many different ways.

 

[ElectricBlue]

I don't have a problem with perfect characters and fairytales. Short stories don't need and can't have really interesting characters, because to develop a character you need a longer text.

Characters can be interesting in many different ways.

You should read more of the 750 Word stories. Some of those have superb characterisation, people you'd want to know, portrayed in a sentence or two.

 

[Bramblethorn]

So I write happily ever afters...at least right now I do. I might evolve into other things as I get better with writing. I got a comment that said my characters are too perfect, the sex is too perfect, and they can't relate. I have thought about this comment a lot in particular because I write this way on purpose...so when I read books, I don't want to read about ordinary people like myself. I want to read about extraordinary people and extraordinary love...am I alone in that? Do people want to read stories with unattractive characters and clumsy sexual encounters? I just write what I prefer...

If you enjoy writing it, there will be people who enjoy reading it. No matter what you write, you'll never manage to please everybody, and you're not getting paid for it so you might as well write the kind of stories you enjoy yourself.

That said, it can be worth understanding where people are coming from with this sort of comment. It might not give you a reason to change your style - it's perfectly valid to say "I know what you want, but I'm not the person to write that kind of story". But it can take a bit of the frustration out of it. Besides, being able to empathise with other people who have different preferences is a useful skill for a writer who wants to create more than one character.

Me, I do enjoy stories with flawed characters and I usually bounce off of stories with perfect protagonists, so I can give a perspective on it. But this is just "why I like what I like", not "why you oughta write it my way".

I'm a flawed person. My partner has flaws too. Hers are frustrating for me and mine are frustrating for her, and while both of us work on those flaws it's unlikely we're going to perfect ourselves within a human lifespan.

But even with those frustrations my life is much better with her in it, and I like to think that goes the other way too. I enjoy reading stories that subscribe to the idea that imperfect people like us still deserve happiness and love and that it's possible for us to achieve it, even if we're not young and sexy.

(I was pretty damn attractive in my early twenties, if I say so myself. I was also miserable and insecure. I'm older and fatter and creakier and more wrinkled now, no billionaire's dream partner, but I'm also happier and better adjusted and much more loved, or at least much more aware of it.)

Even more, I enjoy stories that show how imperfect people can support one another.

My partner is an angry driver. She gets frustrated when some arsehole cuts in front of her, or when she stops at a light only to have somebody tear past her and run the red - it pushes her buttons to feel that somebody else is getting away with breaking the same rules she's following.

But when that happens, if I'm in the car with her, I'll take her hand and kiss it (when it's safe to do so!) and I've trained her to the point where she'll hold out her hand for a kiss when she's feeling cranky, or just when she's resisted the temptation to run a yellow when there's time to stop. Even if I'm not in the car with her at the time, she knows she can cash it in when she gets home. So she drives a little more safely and feels a lot better about it, and she does similar things for me in some of my areas of weakness.

To me that kind of thing is a huge part of what love is about, but it's only our imperfections that provide the opportunity for those little things. The idea of a relationship that's only possible because both people are utterly flawless, never setting a foot wrong, feels distant and alien to me.

(And other people enjoy reading about that fantasy of perfection, light years away from the troubles of their own lives, and that's valid too! It's just not my personal preference.)

 

[THBGato]

It's different strokes for different folks, isn't it? What I like about this site is that there is pretty much something for everything (and if there isn't something for you, go and write it.)

Sometimes I'm in the mood for perfect and beautiful people whose lives are generally going well, and so I might go and read some CareyThomas or Liv Blake (not that I want to diminish either writer: I'm generalising here). Sometimes I want realism (The Red Chamber does a good job with that, at least in his Lesbian stories.) On other occasions, I want some heartache and drama for the characters to overcome, meaning the denouement is much sweeter for it, and I've got a whole list of stories to do that job.

For myself, the protagonists in my first story, The Third Date, were definitely on the perfect side of the spectrum, both being young, beautiful, pursuing careers that they loved and with supportive families. My most recent, Thirty, was near the other end of the spectrum, featuring protagonists who had damaged themselves physically. I think it was a more emotive read (and it has had more reads). I enjoyed writing both.

So, absolutely @LadyFAuthor write the stories you want to read yourself. If that's too perfect for others, they'll easily find something more to their taste elsewhere.

 

[Cagivagurl]

So I write happily ever afters...at least right now I do. I might evolve into other things as I get better with writing. I got a comment that said my characters are too perfect, the sex is too perfect, and they can't relate. I have thought about this comment a lot in particular because I write this way on purpose...so when I read books, I don't want to read about ordinary people like myself. I want to read about extraordinary people and extraordinary love...am I alone in that? Do people want to read stories with unattractive characters and clumsy sexual encounters? I just write what I prefer...

Firstly, write for yourself. Write what pleases you.
To answer your question... (Sort of)
When I read, I look for characters who I can relate to. I need to see what drives them, what excites them.
I like stories that lean towards realism. I love stories laced with dialogue. That's my preference. It's personal and everybody is different.
I am no expert, and do not claim to be so.
You have received some excellent advice from other writers, but I think the best advice is...
Write what makes you happy. Commenters will come and go. You will find you can't please them all.

Don't get bogged down trying to please those you can't.

Cagivagurl.

 

[NoTalentHack]

Oh the too perfect comment I am referring to in this thread was on The CEO and the Student. Your feedback here is on the anniversary story, right? The CEO and the Student isn't posted in LW it is posted in First Time.

The anniversary story was written for my spouse for our anniversary. So there's no dialog and no backstory because it was written for the two of us that already know each other supremely better than anyone else. They are perfect versions of ourselves and a perfect sexual encounter. I probably should not have posted it on Literotica for that reason. I posted it in Loving Wives because it was about me and I'm a Loving Wife.

So the anniversary story is totally lacking in dialog and lacking in depth...those are true statements. But here in this thread I was talking about The CEO and the Student.

I was talking about the anniversary story on your post though.

I do really struggle with dialog and that is something I am actively working on. I struggle with dialog in person too so this is something I am truly practicing on paper (computer) right now in order to improve.

Dialogue can easy, if you don’t overthink it. Have a conversation with yourself, as if you were the two characters. Close the door if you feel silly about it, use a tape recorder (oh God, I’m old) if you can’t type fast enough. Don’t try to “craft” the dialogue, just write it the way two people would talk. Use simple words, break grammar rules, etc., all the stuff they tell you not to in school. You can edit it for clarity or over-repetition later, but just get it down.

As to "too perfect" characters... as people said, write for yourself. If you want to read stories about characters that are two perfect people, who have perfect sex, and fall into a perfect love, do that!

That said.

"Perfect" often doesn't leave a lot of room for a story, or at least not a story that's supposed to be about the characters, which romances usually are. Weaknesses, failures, flaws, etc. are one of the things that make characters seem like people. They make it easy to empathize with and identify with. We're wired to root for underdogs, and to be underdogs, they need to be at least somewhat imperfect.

For myself, I'd much rather read a story about two puzzle pieces that fit together because they wouldn't match with anyone else, and for that, they need to have had some notches knocked out of them by life. I'll be honest: I don't know how I'd approach two perfect characters, because I have no idea what an enjoyable story about those two characters would look like.

 

[Mogrem]

My personal view is that even in a fantasy of perfection there's no-one so wonderful, charismatic and beautiful that they aren't improved with at least one teeny tiny imperfection. Even the smallest most irreverent imperfection (over salts food, freezes when they are awkward, thinks white chinos are OK) lets the reader suspend disbelief and accept the character as a real person, then go back to reading how incredible the character is in every way that actually matters.

There's a reason people put on beauty spots.

 

[SensualFan]

So I write happily ever afters...at least right now I do. I might evolve into other things as I get better with writing. I got a comment that said my characters are too perfect, the sex is too perfect, and they can't relate. I have thought about this comment a lot in particular because I write this way on purpose...so when I read books, I don't want to read about ordinary people like myself. I want to read about extraordinary people and extraordinary love...am I alone in that? Do people want to read stories with unattractive characters and clumsy sexual encounters? I just write what I prefer...

You are not alone. Witness the number of authors and readers. I only started writing late last year as a challenge to myself. I am finding that I enjoy the freedom of creating scenes and dialogue. My stories, so far, are about Vampires. Vampires in a fairly unique way. They are beautiful, because I said they are. Their sex is always great because I said they are good at it. Readers seem to like that since the ratings are all overwhelmingly higher than I ever imagined they would be. The comments are all very supportive and contain requests for more. That should help answer your question. That said, there are authors here whose stories I find amazing, as do many others. Their characters often have flaws and struggles. The responses to those authors are also very positive. My advice, which is free, therefore worth every penny, is write what you like. If you try to force something, you will probably not enjoy yourself as much which readers will detect. I enjoy comments, but not everyone will get what you are trying to say. In the end, a good story can overcome its flaws. Best wishes. Keep doing what you love.

 

[Bramblethorn]

I just want to know what other author's do. Do you only focus on what makes you happy and know that readers that follow your same nature will find you and like it? Or do you actively write things that you don't love but that you know will appeal to other people but just might not be your particular passion?

Mostly the former. I'm not being paid enough here to write stories I don't enjoy writing. Besides, trying to figure out what will please people who don't share my tastes is a lot of work, something I have to worry about way too much in everyday life, and not something I'm particularly good at.

 

[SensualFan]

I see myself as more of a storyteller than writer. I make up scenes, dialogue, story arcs. I tried for years to manufacture story lines and never produced a tale I felt was good enough to share. When I let the story simply unfold, it produced logical branches. As for what readers will think, they are a part of why I write what and as I do. I want people to like what I read and share my wonder or pleasure in the story. I am happy and excited when they do. I believe that for the reader to like the story, I must first like it. I write because I enjoy it. I publish in hopes some others will as well. I expect that some won’t. I accept that readers are different. It makes life interesting.