marshalt
You guys are dicks...
- Joined
- Jul 14, 2004
- Posts
- 25,896
1. Your stupid face
2. The way you try to make a point about something, but the point is lost because you're more worried about looking smart and in the end everyone just thinks you're a giant turdface.
3. You're an asshole. And not the cute pink little button kind of asshole. You're a giant, greasy, hairy, prolapsed crap-chute who dribbles shit all over the place.
4. That little saying you have that you think is so clever. It's not.
5. When someone says something you agree with, instead of just saying, "Yes" or "I agree" you say, "RIGHT?!" Fuck, that is so goddamn annoying.
6. The shit you post on facebook. "Busy day! Early meeting at work, then gotta hit the gym, drop off some returns, then pork chops for supper! YUMM!" Congratulations, you just described EVERYONE'S FUCKING DAY because everyone's fucking day is full of boring, mundane shit exactly like that! Who the fuck do you think you're impressing?
7. Your goddamn pets. No one, and I mean FUCKING NO ONE gives a shit about your fucking pets. Stop showing me pictures of your fucking pets. "Oh, but they bring so much love into my life!" Really? You think your pets fucking love you? Then why do you keep them inside? Why did you spend a grand and half on a fence for your yard? Because deep down, you know that given the chance, they'll take off from you and never come back.
8. The way you drink craft beer. If you only knew what a total fuckcock you sound like when you start spouting off about beer. "Bud Light? Why don't you just drink water? Haha! Seriously, you've got to try this new triple IPA from Bastard Fairy Brewery. It's this new artisan brewery in Indiana. It's run by these two guys, one of them was a dentist and the other was a taxidermist. And they only use hand-picked 2-row barley from this 10 acre plot outside of Burgos, Spain." Fuck you. Seriously, fuck you. I want to drink my beer, not fucking marry it. I don't care what it's fucking story is. And if I'm spending 20 bucks on beer, it better take 2 hands to carry it out to the car.
9. The way you do your kid's fundraising bullshit for them. Why is it that every day you come into work you seem to have another catalog full of useless, overpriced crap and expect me to buy it? You know, maybe if you had your kid come in and try to sell, maybe I'd buy. Until that day happens, you can shove those fucking thin mint and Little Caesar's pizza kits up your ass.
10. The way you're going to justify the way you suck. Go ahead, post that shit. You'll just look like even more of an asshole when you try to refute this.
2. The way you try to make a point about something, but the point is lost because you're more worried about looking smart and in the end everyone just thinks you're a giant turdface.
3. You're an asshole. And not the cute pink little button kind of asshole. You're a giant, greasy, hairy, prolapsed crap-chute who dribbles shit all over the place.
4. That little saying you have that you think is so clever. It's not.
5. When someone says something you agree with, instead of just saying, "Yes" or "I agree" you say, "RIGHT?!" Fuck, that is so goddamn annoying.
6. The shit you post on facebook. "Busy day! Early meeting at work, then gotta hit the gym, drop off some returns, then pork chops for supper! YUMM!" Congratulations, you just described EVERYONE'S FUCKING DAY because everyone's fucking day is full of boring, mundane shit exactly like that! Who the fuck do you think you're impressing?
7. Your goddamn pets. No one, and I mean FUCKING NO ONE gives a shit about your fucking pets. Stop showing me pictures of your fucking pets. "Oh, but they bring so much love into my life!" Really? You think your pets fucking love you? Then why do you keep them inside? Why did you spend a grand and half on a fence for your yard? Because deep down, you know that given the chance, they'll take off from you and never come back.
8. The way you drink craft beer. If you only knew what a total fuckcock you sound like when you start spouting off about beer. "Bud Light? Why don't you just drink water? Haha! Seriously, you've got to try this new triple IPA from Bastard Fairy Brewery. It's this new artisan brewery in Indiana. It's run by these two guys, one of them was a dentist and the other was a taxidermist. And they only use hand-picked 2-row barley from this 10 acre plot outside of Burgos, Spain." Fuck you. Seriously, fuck you. I want to drink my beer, not fucking marry it. I don't care what it's fucking story is. And if I'm spending 20 bucks on beer, it better take 2 hands to carry it out to the car.
9. The way you do your kid's fundraising bullshit for them. Why is it that every day you come into work you seem to have another catalog full of useless, overpriced crap and expect me to buy it? You know, maybe if you had your kid come in and try to sell, maybe I'd buy. Until that day happens, you can shove those fucking thin mint and Little Caesar's pizza kits up your ass.
10. The way you're going to justify the way you suck. Go ahead, post that shit. You'll just look like even more of an asshole when you try to refute this.
