10 Things a man shouldn't say on a first date

[Mad_Jack_Rabbit]

Ten Things a man should avoid saying to a woman on a first date….

1) So you have a sister. That’s great, I’ve always wanted to try a threesome.

2) No, No, I meant ‘Ugly’ as a compliment – it suits you.

3) Plenty of room in an estate car. Which is handy because I’m living in mine.

4) I’d buy you a drink but I don’t get my benefit cheque ‘til tomorrow.

5) Quick duck – it’s my wife!

6) Yes I know your daughter, she gives great blow jobs.

7) What a strong smell of fish! Are you wearing knickers?

8) I can only get an erection when my body is covered with peanut butter.

9) I’m sure I’ve seen you before. Was it at the VD clinic?

10) Honeymoons are so romantic. I'm on mine right now.

 

[Fecker]

"do you take it up the shitter love?"
Fecker.

 

[JazzManJim]

"You know, your Mom kisses just like you do!"

 

[Nora]

5) Quick duck – it’s my wife!

Did anyone else read that the way I did and wonder if QuickDuck has a secret life that nobody knows about?

 

[SkyBluAngelEyes]

"You know, your Mom kisses just like you do!"

Ewwwwwwwww....

 

[JazzManJim]

Ewwwwwwwww....

Trust me, it was better than the first two I thought of.

How are you, beauty?

 

[bluespoke]

Trust me, it was better than the first two I thought of.

You could have said 'Your Dad kisses just like you do!

 

[JazzManJim]

You could have said 'Your Dad kisses just like you do!

That was one of them...

 

[SkyBluAngelEyes]

Trust me, it was better than the first two I thought of.

How are you, beauty?

Doing well you handsome devil!! How are you?

and dad kissing well is worse. AAAARGH!!

 

[JazzManJim]

I am absolutely splendid and even better for having seen you this morning.

The other one I rejected was: "You know, your sister put out on our first date...."

 

[Fecker]

"And the women in the std clinic said not to worry as It was only crabs"

 

[Mad_Jack_Rabbit]

"VD from sheep is the worst form - mine took months to clear up."

 

[Saytur]

Before I spend a lot of money ... is anything gonna happen here?

 

[Aquila]

I don't have a lot of money on me, but lets see what we can do tonight.

 

[bknight2602]

I hope you're here after what I'm here after, other wise you'll be here after I'm gone.

 

[stgeorge6602]

Do you spit or swallow.

 

[miles]

Are ya wet yet?

 

[Weevil]

We can go anywhere you want.

Well, anywhere within a 30 mile radius.

See, there's this thing on my ankle.

 

[bluespoke]

I never thought you'd still have the pigtails and brace!

 

[Guest]

Hey, thanks for going out with me. I'm sure you and me and my mother will have a terrific time!

 

[Guest]

Are ya wet yet?

Oooh miles, you stud! How did you know the one thing that a woman most wishes to hear?

 

[Aquila]

http://www.siberkat.com/thewavszim/loveadvz.wav

 

[Mad_Jack_Rabbit]

http://www.siberkat.com/thewavszim/loveadvz.wav

Smile, look deep into her eyes and say:

"aich tee tee pee colon forward slash forward slash double ewe double ewe double ewe dot siberkat dot com forward slash thewavszim forward slash loveadvz dot wav"

Yep, I can see that that would be rather an incomprehnsible thing to say to a woman on a first date.

 

[Aquila]

just click the link.

 

[miles]

Oooh miles, you stud! How did you know the one thing that a woman most wishes to hear?

Actually that's their #2 favorite. The best is "Get in the truck, bitch."