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Hello Summer!
- Joined
- Nov 1, 2005
- Posts
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As part and parcel of the great-book-clearance-marathon, I've also been cleaning out my filing cabinets. Most of the shit...er..stuff I found there was of the "Oh, fuck me! Don't tell me I really used to write like that!" but there were also a few surprises, a few treasures. Among them I found this little gem.
It's very dated, but still shockingly funny and apt...and many of the commandments ring true for any story, not just screenwritng:
The Ten Commandments of Screenwriting
1) Thou shalt cut to the chase.
2) Thou shalt write castable leads for the superstars of the heavens.
3) Thou shalt remember your audience is half your age.
4) Thou shalt sacrifice all to advance the story, whether it be beloved schtick, clever banter or thy first born male child.
5) Thou shalt never say what thou can show; life is short, the medium visual, talky scenes interminable, and thy characters should be as silent and fleet of foot as the beasts of the field.
6) Be not like the fool who cryeth out from the lobby of the revival theater, saying "O Lord, when can a small, personal film be made?" and the Lord spaketh saying, "When the prime interest rate goes back down to 5%." But the fool did not heed the Lord and rusheth home to work on his western, a character study about an aging rodeo star.
7) Honor thy genre and keep it holy; but if thou writeth other than a comedy or a special effects film though shall not enter the Kingdom of Heaven or the Meetings of Preproduction.
8) Thou shalt edit without mercy thy script until it flies along like the birds of the air; then taketh out ten more pages.
9) Pitcheth thy story in only 60 seconds and make it sound as if from heaven, for if thou taketh twenty minutes to explain thy movie, the bored moneylenders of the temple shall begin taking calls.
10) Thou must bring on a likeable main character, establish thy tone and set thy plot hook by pageth 15 or thou must dwell forever in the land of thy Day Job.
I'd say that last one is the most dated. At this point, if you don't get all three of those things done by page 5 in any sort of story it's going to be tossed aside. Attention spans have gone waaaaay down
It's very dated, but still shockingly funny and apt...and many of the commandments ring true for any story, not just screenwritng:
The Ten Commandments of Screenwriting
1) Thou shalt cut to the chase.
2) Thou shalt write castable leads for the superstars of the heavens.
3) Thou shalt remember your audience is half your age.
4) Thou shalt sacrifice all to advance the story, whether it be beloved schtick, clever banter or thy first born male child.
5) Thou shalt never say what thou can show; life is short, the medium visual, talky scenes interminable, and thy characters should be as silent and fleet of foot as the beasts of the field.
6) Be not like the fool who cryeth out from the lobby of the revival theater, saying "O Lord, when can a small, personal film be made?" and the Lord spaketh saying, "When the prime interest rate goes back down to 5%." But the fool did not heed the Lord and rusheth home to work on his western, a character study about an aging rodeo star.
7) Honor thy genre and keep it holy; but if thou writeth other than a comedy or a special effects film though shall not enter the Kingdom of Heaven or the Meetings of Preproduction.
8) Thou shalt edit without mercy thy script until it flies along like the birds of the air; then taketh out ten more pages.
9) Pitcheth thy story in only 60 seconds and make it sound as if from heaven, for if thou taketh twenty minutes to explain thy movie, the bored moneylenders of the temple shall begin taking calls.
10) Thou must bring on a likeable main character, establish thy tone and set thy plot hook by pageth 15 or thou must dwell forever in the land of thy Day Job.
I'd say that last one is the most dated. At this point, if you don't get all three of those things done by page 5 in any sort of story it's going to be tossed aside. Attention spans have gone waaaaay down
