06 August 2001: Exposing the Wife by liamo4

[Weird Harold]

This is a random pick from all stories on Literotica.

Exposing the Wife
by liamo4
Exhibitionist & Voyeur

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=20015

As always, please withhold comments until 0800 GMT Monday to allow the author time to post first if he is so inclined.

 

[Sonia_de_Beaumanoir]

I can't say I am a big fan of voyeur stories, and this is only the second I've read. I can understand why being watched is a turn-on for the author, but when his partner is not party to the game it's less appealing. And then when the voyeur actually is invited to participate without the wife's knowledge I began to think it's more a non-consent story.

The writing is first-person POV and rather conversational in style. He can't resist giving us a description of his wife in an early paragraph. As several reviewers have said in the past, it is more effective to insert such descriptions gradually in the course of telling the story. This lets the reader use his own imagination and imagery. Those men who don't like "one of the hairiest cunts you will ever see" might not make it further in the story.

Many of the paragraphs here are very long, making it harder to read. Splitting them into shorter ones would be an improvement.

There is some limited dialog in the story but it is not separated into a paragraph for each speaker. I think the story would have been better had the interactions between the author and 'Alan' been written as dialog.

 

[Lynn]

interesting story...

Very interesting story. A few problems first then on to what I liked.

First, I am not sure if it is the conversational tone (which I tend to use as well) or the long paragraphs, but even though the sentences were structured correctly, it seems as though every one of them is a run on. This is not true, but it seems that way.

Second, the desease issue was funny to me, it is just wrong to cum in a woman because of AIDs but to shoot your cum on her face and in her mouth is OK? You need to be consistent.

I liked the story - although it does cross the line from voyeur to non-consentual (but your mileage may vary).

The plot was fun, sexy and the size of the Dildo, and our voyeur friend made me look for some correlation when he entered the room and quite honestly I was disapointed it didn't happen, but the decision didn't distract from the story. It was a choice, and one I might have done the same way - if I had another story to follow it or a teaser to follow it where I talked about the other guy getting some action.

Everyone Keep Writing and Keep me "entertained" and continually knowing where I can get release.