💫🎲💫 Lit Fantasy Classes: D&D Nerds Unite 💫🎲💫

I must claim the role of Cleric of the Horny Domain.
We wander the pages, blessing random ones with bits of horniness and oddity that sounds like it could be too pure to be on Lit.

But really, we just want to play with the bards while worshipping at the Altar of Unrestrained Kink.
Fleshlight as a holey symbol? One of the branded ones, to indicate which Star guides your Pole?
 
Depending on the setting/critter:

Get a light spell cast on your weapon.

Wrassle it still to make it easier for your buddies

Trip it.

Get that friggin' shield up in its face and keep it there

Grab a rope and run a loop around one of its limbs. Tug or repeat as needed

Perform the dreaded Platemailed Bottom Sit 'n Squash on its head.

Soooooo many options. ;)
 
Depending on the setting/critter:

Get a light spell cast on your weapon.

Wrassle it still to make it easier for your buddies

Trip it.

Get that friggin' shield up in its face and keep it there

Grab a rope and run a loop around one of its limbs. Tug or repeat as needed

Perform the dreaded Platemailed Bottom Sit 'n Squash on its head.

Soooooo many options. ;)
https://media2.giphy.com/media/LqhXSampoaWze/giphy.gif?cid=6c09b952g3ae37x4o75uj5wexv7zrxs3zdyv9q92dsr6ifel&ep=v1_internal_gif_by_id&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g
*nerd boner*
 
How many nerd points do I get for being able to quote scenes from Knights Tale?
They're nerd points. Having one is the same as having an infinite amount, unless you're attempting to one-up someone else's geekery/nerdishness/what-have-you. :)
 
I have a wedding to officiate in a couple hours. Instead of prepping for that I'm working on a character for a Christmas-themed one-shot next week. My first thought was a gnome artificer who is on the run after escaping enslavement at Santa's workshop. But I think the DM wants to stick to base classes for this one-shot. So a gnomish bard with a similar backstory will have to do. Plus... bagpipes.

Nixti Tickontak.jpg
 
I have a wedding to officiate in a couple hours. Instead of prepping for that I'm working on a character for a Christmas-themed one-shot next week. My first thought was a gnome artificer who is on the run after escaping enslavement at Santa's workshop. But I think the DM wants to stick to base classes for this one-shot. So a gnomish bard with a similar backstory will have to do. Plus... bagpipes.

View attachment 2450397
I always was amused that Greenwood threatened the wrath of all the gods if anyone introduced bagpipes to his Forgotten Realms.

And I love the pipes.
 
I've the Scottish National Bagpipe Choir's Amazing Grace on my playlist. Great stuff.

Don't forget giving an all-night serenade to help soften up the enemy. 8 hours of rest vs bagpipes? Casters'll be VERY unhappy with you, especially if pull off the Fascinate all night! Hope you got the Endurance feat.... ;)

Officiating? Good on you. Wish the newlyweds the best of luck.
 
Hrm.... "Big Daddy Grantor wubs his widdle warlocky, yes He do!"

Now, in some settings a warlock's abilities vary depending on the pact grantor. A fire elemental could give fire jumping, fiery aura, etc, while a demon of cold might grant a blast of ice shards, ice shackles, and the ability to walk through ice and snow as if it were air.

What'd be the powers Azalin'd give their warlock?
Big Daddy hugs - immobilize an opponent with the powah of your Grantor's dominating full-body snuggles?
Ennui or Fascination - either way time going by happens outside the norm, either waaaaay too slow or blazingly fast, but never to the target's advantage

For the kinksters, adaptation - it's never too big to fit with patience & lube, nor do you really need to breathe even if you really want to?
 
Back
Top