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🏡PLP's B&B for Deviants, Darlings & Dorks: The Sequel

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PrettyLilPussy19 said:
https://cdn.dribbble.com/users/123343/screenshots/1468975/24.png

The new B&B needs a new staff.
You may apply with desired position and compensation.
An equal opportunity employer.

Signed,
Boss Lady
Click to expand...

Coffee making maestro, as long as it black, no sugar (as coffee should be), can also manage a decent cup of tea.

Decent barman, espresso martinis and Harvey wallbangers a speciality.

Also useful for lifting/carrying/moving heavy things, no questions asked.

Payment in coffee, massages or the occasional knock down, drag out, tied up/down fun session please.
 
Ironfan said:
Coffee making maestro, as long as it black, no sugar (as coffee should be), can also manage a decent cup of tea.

Decent barman, espresso martinis and Harvey wallbangers a speciality.

Also useful for lifting/carrying/moving heavy things, no questions asked.

Payment in coffee, massages or the occasional knock down, drag out, tied up/down fun session please.
Click to expand...

You had me at coffee and massages!
Hired!
 
Dear Boss Lady,

I would like to submit my application for the position of Hotel Dick. My qualifications include looking great in a fedora, I enjoy people watching and I believe you and I could have hours of fun watching people on the security cameras and making funny comments about them.

Past mysteries I have solved include "The Case of the Missing Panties" (I sniffed around that one for a long time before solving it.)
"The Hypothesis of the Hidden Salami" (In that instance it turned out I was the perpetrator--once I discovered this you may rest assured I thoroughly flogged myself.)
As well as "The Strange Case of Who Licked Carla Montague" (In that case I had every Guest lick Carla until she could identify "The Licker" after several attempts she decided she couldn't be sure, however, after that weekend the hotel's Yelp reviews went through the roof!)

I understand you are currently having trouble uncovering "The Secret of Who is Blowing Everyone at the Hot Tub" and I look forward to using myself as a decoy to solve this mystery for you. And believe me, I will work night and day until this sucker is found.

I hope you will consider me for this position and I look forward to hearing you say over the hotel intercom "Where's my dick at?" at which time I will come running (coming running helps me last longer ;))

Thank you for your consideration.
 
hotwords229_A said:
Dear Boss Lady,

I would like to submit my application for the position of Hotel Dick. My qualifications include looking great in a fedora, I enjoy people watching and I believe you and I could have hours of fun watching people on the security cameras and making funny comments about them.

Past mysteries I have solved include "The Case of the Missing Panties" (I sniffed around that one for a long time before solving it.)
"The Hypothesis of the Hidden Salami" (In that instance it turned out I was the perpetrator--once I discovered this you may rest assured I thoroughly flogged myself.)
As well as "The Strange Case of Who Licked Carla Montague" (In that case I had every Guest lick Carla until she could identify "The Licker" after several attempts she decided she couldn't be sure, however, after that weekend the hotel's Yelp reviews went through the roof!)

I understand you are currently having trouble uncovering "The Secret of Who is Blowing Everyone at the Hot Tub" and I look forward to using myself as a decoy to solve this mystery for you. And believe me, I will work night and day until this sucker is found.

I hope you will consider me for this position and I look forward to hearing you say over the hotel intercom "Where's my dick at?" at which time I will come running (coming running helps me last longer ;))

Thank you for your consideration.
Click to expand...

Dear Dick,
Methinks we will have many great adventures together. And umm... solve some mysteries too!!

I have my Nancy Drew costume around here somewhere.

You're hired!
 
As HR I would be happy to help with any reference checking or whatever else you might need. :)
 
PrettyLilPussy19 said:
Dear Dick,

I have my Nancy Drew costume around here somewhere.
Click to expand...

indiesoul said:
I thought I was Nancy Drew?
Do you take on side jobs?
Click to expand...

My Hardy Boy is very excited to really get into this Nancy Drew costume contest. And yes, I do take side jobs and on top jobs, underneath jobs, upside down jobs--all kinds of jobs. :D

LostGirlTink said:
As HR I would be happy to help with any reference checking or whatever else you might need. :)
Click to expand...

Always willing to provide new references. ;)
 
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