“The things I do to get laid”

[Brandnewbuddy]

Pretty simple premise: men and women recounting stories of the wildest stuff they did to get laid.

Got the idea from recalling my freshman year of college where free to be on my own I would get out on any venture if there of good looking gal asked me (unfortunately I was in the closet at the time as I would have had a lot better luck with the guys who had figured me out before I did).

Anyway: some possible ideas

1. “Oh…so you aren’t ironic satanists.”

“We just had you kill a sheep with a ritual dagger and fill a chalice with its blood”

“I thought maybe we were doing a cookout and the blood was going to be mixed into a pudding or sausage…so is the orgy happening anytime soon?”

2. Woman who is heir to an indie wrestling or MMA gym needs a jobber (if wrestling) or a huge guy to make her fighter look better. Fortunately she has a big dumb guy who is very interested in her

3. Guy or gal finds forum where people talk about the wildest place they have had sex or wildest place they want to have sex…and soon gets notoriety for the efforts they go through.

For example: “okay, we’re at the top of the Ferris wheel after hours and I jammed the controls so it will take hours to get the wheel moving again.”

“I don’t really get baseball but she wanted to do some kinda weird sex game where we fooled around on every base and then finally fucked on Home plate…gotta give credit to the Yankees security team. They Did let us finish before they called the cops”

 

[wouldloveto]

3. Guy or gal finds forum where people talk about the wildest place they have had sex or wildest place they want to have sex…and soon gets notoriety for the efforts they go through.

For example: “okay, we’re at the top of the Ferris wheel after hours and I jammed the controls so it will take hours to get the wheel moving again.”

“I don’t really get baseball but she wanted to do some kinda weird sex game where we fooled around on every base and then finally fucked on Home plate…gotta give credit to the Yankees security team. They Did let us finish before they called the cops”

Love this... imagining a scenario right now...

 

[Carnevil9]

Two guys both want to have sex with the same woman. She finds them odious. So she tells them, "If you two will sixty-nine each other right here, right now, I will fuck whichever one of you cums last." Do they take her up on it? And if they do, does she stay true to her word?

 

[draco519]

3. Guy or gal finds forum where people talk about the wildest place they have had sex or wildest place they want to have sex…and soon gets notoriety for the efforts they go through.

Sounds like a literotica meetup lmao

 

[Brandnewbuddy]

Two guys both want to have sex with the same woman. She finds them odious. So she tells them, "If you two will sixty-nine each other right here, right now, I will fuck whichever one of you cums last." Do they take her up on it? And if they do, does she stay true to her word?

For whatever reason I went the high fantasy route with this: sorceress is travelling alone in a dungeon or cave and two goblins follow her a proposition her. So she does what you suggested, with her ultimate aim to get them to either fight each other or run away when they drop their pants.

To her surprise though, the goblins are down for it: not many women come by so they usually windup fucking each other. She’s shocked but then grotesquely fascinated by watching them go at it that she winds up watching until they both come at the exact same time (again, they fuck each other a lot). Goblins then say that since they both finished they both get a turn and the sorceress, who realizes how she failed to capitalize on the distraction, has no idea of where she would go, and is lil turned on (maybe Goblin sweat and cum is also an aphrodisiac) so she winds up fucking them both.