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How can you tell who the real Masters are?

RomyDelaney

RomyDelaney

Really Experienced
Joined
Dec 22, 2004
Posts
151
O.k. I've lurked long enough and being quiet just doesn't suit me. :cathappy:


My question stems from experiences I have had with online Masters. It seems around this board that Masters who only operate online are not seen as real Masters anyway but that is beside the point.


I wanted to try and figure out my submissive side and decided to talk to some online Masters. They seemed to be out for themselves and just tried to get me to admit I was submissive. One of them even when I said I wasn't sure was still trying to get me to do things I wasn't up for. Is there such a thing as a good online only Dom or are they all just out for themselves? They called themselves Masters but who decides this? Do they just decide for themselves? I suppose they must do. It seems a pretty powerful title to just be able to give yourself. I'd appreciate any thoughts about this. Thanks.
 
lol Ah, welcome to online life. There's never any way to be totally sure if someone is what they say they are, whether they claim to be a dom or a sub.

So, here goes. Communicate. You are just gonna have to go through a lot of toads to find the prince. It's the same in vanilla life.

Also, you need to know who you are, before you're going to know who you want. Or what you want, for that matter.
 
Only time with an online Master will tell you if He is a good Master or a lonely player. That being said I once knew the most amazing online Master from Toronto. Unfortunately after 5 years he gave it all up for submission...in the real world. I say unfortunately because he was more successful as a Dom online than he has been as a realtime sub.

He was such a good and caring Master online that to this day his online subs are dedicated to his happiness and friendship.
 
graceanne said:
lol Ah, welcome to online life. There's never any way to be totally sure if someone is what they say they are, whether they claim to be a dom or a sub.

So, here goes. Communicate. You are just gonna have to go through a lot of toads to find the prince. It's the same in vanilla life.

Also, you need to know who you are, before you're going to know who you want. Or what you want, for that matter.
Click to expand...

Words of gold!
 
Study real Masters like Shadowsdream (er, with minor gender differences) or real subs like s'lara (where is she, anyway?)
 
Never said:
Study real Masters like Shadowsdream (er, with minor gender differences) or real subs like s'lara (where is she, anyway?)
Click to expand...

Not to minor I hope...nice to see you here Never ~~smile~~
 
Major plumbing overhaul.

It's wonderful to see you again Shadowsdream. I was being serious with my previous reply. You're one of the few people who consistently fit my mental image of an 'ideal Domme'.
 
Never said:
Major plumbing overhaul.

It's wonderful to see you again Shadowsdream. I was being serious with my previous reply. You're one of the few people who consistently fit my mental image of an 'ideal Domme'.
Click to expand...
I am honored that you think so Never ~~smile~~
 
I have had and still have D/s relationships on line and in real life. You find the good, the bad and the fakers in both places. Communication is essential. If all a Dom wants is to get their rocks off without respect for their sub, thats not good. You are fooling with someone who isn't real. D/s relationships have rules. Some pretty much standard. Some set by the individuals involved. One essential is respect. It's a two way street. I respect my sub whether O/L or R/L and I expect the same from them.
 
writerz01:
"If all a Dom wants is to get their rocks off without respect for their sub, thats not good."

It's not good. It's great.
 
Never said:

It's wonderful to see you again Shadowsdream. I was being serious with my previous reply. You're one of the few people who consistently fit my mental image of an 'ideal Domme'.
Click to expand...

You and me both.

I consistently read every word Shadowsdream posts and enjoy the wisdom and kindness and strength that resonates :rose:

As to how to tell a "real" online Master, I wouldn't have a clue. I've never participated in online D/s.

Lordy, it's hard enough sorting the wheat from the chaff in the real world!
 
i'm trying

i decided to try some online fun, once. i went to Alt.com which looked really really promising. had quite a few people who were very interested in me. but alas, even through webcam and microphones...i just couldn't live w/o a Master's touch. a good swat to my bottom or feeling his breath against my ear..... those things just work wonders for me. those i met at that website have become my friends and we chat and exchange some really good stories. so it didn't work out as planned but i got something real good in return. i wish you luck. finding that one good online master is like finding out you inherited your own private tropical island w/ a never ending supply of Chunky Monkey ice cream.
 
RomyDelaney said:
O.k. I've lurked long enough and being quiet just doesn't suit me. :cathappy:


My question stems from experiences I have had with online Masters. It seems around this board that Masters who only operate online are not seen as real Masters anyway but that is beside the point.


I wanted to try and figure out my submissive side and decided to talk to some online Masters. They seemed to be out for themselves and just tried to get me to admit I was submissive. One of them even when I said I wasn't sure was still trying to get me to do things I wasn't up for. Is there such a thing as a good online only Dom or are they all just out for themselves? They called themselves Masters but who decides this? Do they just decide for themselves? I suppose they must do. It seems a pretty powerful title to just be able to give yourself. I'd appreciate any thoughts about this. Thanks.
Click to expand...

RomyDelaney,

My answer is not so much direct, as it is to get you to think further.

Reversing the questions...

They call themselves submissives, but who decides this? Do they just decide for themselves? I suppose they must do. It seems a pretty powerful title to just be able to give yourself.

If the logic and reason is applied evenly, if online Masters are not considered "real" masters, then online submissives are not "real" submissives.

Your submission to another is as real as you make it, by whatever medium or form of communication you choose. If that is true, then the opposite must be true as well.

Listen to what graceanne said, you must first know who you are, and know what your looking for. Do you have a working definition of what a "real Master" is to you? If not, that might be a good start.

People can offer opinions on what they think a "real" Master is. You will get a different difenition for each person who gives one. Some of these things will share things in common, others will be dyametricly opposed. The point is, you can read them, accept or reject them, but in the end you must form for yourself what you believe to be real or not real as that is the only thing that "really" matters.

If your asking if there are "real" online Masters/Mistresses Dom/mes, my answer and opinion is yes. They are there.

Be safe and good luck in your search.
 
graceanne said:
lol Ah, welcome to online life. There's never any way to be totally sure if someone is what they say they are, whether they claim to be a dom or a sub.
Click to expand...

Or whether they are a cock roach or a manitee?
A three legged dog or a purebred Setter?

Yes, communicate.
If something makes you feel uncomfortable or gives you pause to think twice about your involvment, step back and follow your gut.

Discuss your concerns with the Dominant and if he or she is sincere in their efforts to engage with you, they will understand your questions and doubts.

If they shut you down, they aren't worth your time, anyway.

One of the mistakes that many make, and I also have made in the past, is to go on line seeking the perfect One. Well, the One is still a person and in not beginning by getting to know him, finding commonalities outside of kinks, and moving into BDSM involvement first, there is usually grand disappointment.

Move slowly and follow your instincts.

As for "real" or not?
As long as it is "real" to you, forget other's assessments.

Best wishes,

MissT

:rose:
 
Have to go with what Miss Taken has said...take your time. If you begin from the first or second or even third conversation with online play and sexual gameplaying you can pretty much expect to get more of the same as time passes. Part of the responsibility lies with you and whether you are going to allow the other person to impose that type exchange on you without even taking the time to get to know each other as people first, likes and dislikes, views and ethics, it all goes into what makes the final outcome successful or just a game to play when time weighs heavily on their hands. The D/s relationship, IMHO online or in RL is a two way street with equal responsibility on both sides to make it what it is or is not....don't be fooled into thinking if you are sub or say you are sub you have no say or responsibility in what takes place.

Catalina:rose:
 
Online, you don't even know the person exists, as a few well known cases attest.

Second, finding a 'true' or 'genuine' master, just like a 'true' or genuine French teacher would not be the end of story.

Maybe you'd hate him (the true one). Maybe the two of you would never get along. Maybe the sub's misspelling would irritate the hell out of him!
 
Many Thanks

I have been getting a feel for who is who around here. I want to thank all of you that answered. Especially RJMasters, MissTaken and Catalina who have given me a lot to think about. You all make really good points and have made me think about things I hadn't really thought about.

graceanne, thank you. I think you are right. I think that I do need to know who I am first. I think I was going about finding out the wrong way.

:rose:
 
It's hard to find a dominant,that will last and is for real I know that from experience, even when you think he is the one for you,there could be a chance he isn't.
 
Maybe the day will come when I am able to read the words "online Master" without giggling, but I doubt it.
 
A bit like the online world heavyweight boxing champion.
 
LOL :D I do know what you are saying. Online for me feels safer. Kind of like testing the water and see what it feels like. Who knows if one day I would want some RL stuff happening but for now this is all I'm up for. I obviously just haven't spoken to the right online Master/Mistress for me yet.
 
Pure said:
A bit like the online world heavyweight boxing champion.
Click to expand...

*spews coffee all over the monitor**

Pure, you should post a spew alert. That little gem had me laughing so hard I called a friend to share. She thanks you for the 'mental picutre', and so do I.

~ cait :rose:

Cleans up monitor and keyboard, then pours a new cup of coffee.
 
Never said:
Major plumbing overhaul.

It's wonderful to see you again Shadowsdream. I was being serious with my previous reply. You're one of the few people who consistently fit my mental image of an 'ideal Domme'.
Click to expand...
i think you are going to find most people are going to agree with you Never. Shadows is one of the few Dominants that i trust implicitly. :rose:
 
Hmmmm........Master and I have a little joke, about the "real Master's handbook" which must be written in invisible ink too because in all my searching and reading I've never come across a copy of it........:confused: ;)
 
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