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The pain/pleasure aspect

Owlz

Owlz

Havin' a Snack
Joined
Jun 16, 2003
Posts
7,549
Related to my post entitled 'I never thought...', there were some moments that seemed clearly painful for the sub. Is it just a Limits issue as to when pain becomes abusive (nothing negative intended by my use of the word 'just,' btw)?

Thank you.
 
Owlz said:
... Is it just a Limits issue as to when pain becomes abusive ...
Click to expand...
more a getting to know how to play the instrument?

Practice ... play those scales again and again until you get them perfect.
 
The sub always has a safeword. That prevents abuse and keeps it in the realm of consensual erotic pain. Does that help?
 
You were watching an actress. It may have been really painful or it may have been acting. Limits refer to a line a sub won't cross.

In flogging/corporal type play, usually there is a warm up and then things intensify slowly. By the time they are in sub space, I don't know if you could call it "pain." Since the sub is getting what they want, how can you call it abuse?

The sub also has the option at any time to put the brakes on a scene by using a safe word.
 
Owlz....

Why don't you do some general reading up instead of starting a thread for each and every question that you have?

This is my personal opinion of course. I'd suggest CastleRealm and Mistress Steel's Chambers. Not to mention, our Library. I'm sure you know how to find that one. We are talking about basic stuff here....

Limits.

Safewords.

There are pages and pages of material on these two items alone in our Library. That is not to say that they don't merit discussion again here, HOWEVER, you say you are here to learn--take advantage of the resources offered to you, and have at it--then come back and FINE TUNE your knowledge with the members of the forum.

My .02 cents.

~anelize
 
AnelizeDarkEyes said:
Owlz....

Why don't you do some general reading up instead of starting a thread for each and every question that you have?



If there was a friendlier forum, less-hostile to newbies than here...say, an IRC channel, I would go elsewhere and leave perfect, holier-than-thou specimens like you behind. I actually thought you were one of the friendly type, Anelize. I see I need to 'FINE TUNE' my impressions of certain people & seperate the wheat from the chaff (the latter of which would be the likes of you).
Click to expand...
 
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Owlz said:
AnelizeDarkEyes said:
Owlz....

Why don't you do some general reading up instead of starting a thread for each and every question that you have?



If there was a friendlier forum, less-hostile to newbies than here...say, an IRC channel, I would go elsewhere and leave perfect, holier-than-thou specimens like you behind. I actually thought you were one of the friendly type, Anelize. I see I need to 'FINE TUNE' my impressions of certain people & seperate the wheat from the chaff (the latter of which would be the likes of you).
Click to expand...

Whoa........Owlz, Anelize was being perfectly courteous and helpful here. This forum is anything but hostile......but there are other resources as she pointed out.....

You're extremely new to all of this, as am I.......but reading....especially in the extensive library provided here will answer many of your questions.

I think much patience has been shown here......and you owe Anelize an apology.

The above stated with all due respect and friendliness Owlz :)
Click to expand...
 
Owlz said:
AnelizeDarkEyes said:
Owlz....

Why don't you do some general reading up instead of starting a thread for each and every question that you have?



If there was a friendlier forum, less-hostile to newbies than here...say, an IRC channel, I would go elsewhere and leave perfect, holier-than-thou specimens like you behind. I actually thought you were one of the friendly type, Anelize. I see I need to 'FINE TUNE' my impressions of certain people & seperate the wheat from the chaff (the latter of which would be the likes of you).
Click to expand...

Time for me to 'out' you, dirtbag.

I know all about your harrassing people on the GB and in the Playground, your overbearing personality, your piss-poor reaction to the inevitable rejection...we're not hostile to newbies, we are hostile to YOU, because you are less than the dirt underneath my heel.

Go play somewhere else, boy, before you get hurt.
Click to expand...
 
Owlz said:
AnelizeDarkEyes said:
Owlz....

Why don't you do some general reading up instead of starting a thread for each and every question that you have?



If there was a friendlier forum, less-hostile to newbies than here...say, an IRC channel, I would go elsewhere and leave perfect, holier-than-thou specimens like you behind. I actually thought you were one of the friendly type, Anelize. I see I need to 'FINE TUNE' my impressions of certain people & seperate the wheat from the chaff (the latter of which would be the likes of you).
Click to expand...

Owlz, you are out of line. If you are trying to fit in, being an jerk is not the way to go about it. Your were given good advice.

If reading before you post redundancy is too much for you, perhaps the General Board is your level.

A word to the wise should be sufficient.
Click to expand...
 
Owlz said:
If there was a friendlier forum, less-hostile to newbies than here...say, an IRC channel, I would go elsewhere and leave perfect, holier-than-thou specimens like you behind. I actually thought you were one of the friendly type, Anelize. I see I need to 'FINE TUNE' my impressions of certain people & seperate the wheat from the chaff (the latter of which would be the likes of you).
Click to expand...

Hi Owlz,

I am sure that by now you know that being a dominant takes a great deal of work. There are no shortcuts, no easy ways, it is hard work and you need to be very disciplined.

We are here at BDSM talk always willing to answer any question, to help anyone that shows at the minimum sincerity in their quest. I am sure that by now you must have understood that some of us, and me included, are doubting the sincerity in your quest.

You are full of questions and seem to rely completely on the answers you get in your path of becoming a Dom. What Analize has tried doing is showing you another way of learning and finding answers.

Most of us would appreciate it a lot and be a lot more willing to assist you in your quest if we could see some effort from you.

I think you have overstepped the boundaries of civilised behaviour in insulting an extremely high regarded member of this community who has done nothing but tried to help you. You owe Analize an apology.

Francisco
 
Although, I have not been hanging out here near as much as I was this past winter, I find it hard to believe that you feel anyone here is less then friendly. I doubt there has been that much of a change in the faces. Everyone here was so very helpful & welcomes newbies with open arms, this, I can say from personal experience.

I have to agree with Irish Eyes Owlz..you do owe Anelize an apology and a BIG One. Its hard for me to believe that someone can be as rude as you just were without just cause...
 
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Feistyred16 said:
Although, I have not been hanging out here near as much as I was this past winter, I find it hard to believe that you feel anyone here is less then friendly. I doubt there has been that much of a change in the faces. Everyone here was so very helpful & welcomes newbies with open arms, this, I can say from personal experience.

I have to agree with Irish Eyes Owlz..you do owe Anelize an apology and a BIG One. Its hard for me to believe that someone can be as rude as you just were without just cause...
Click to expand...

Without just cause? Please re-read what she said & implied about me in response to a simple question I had.
 
Owlz said:
Without just cause? Please re-read what she said & implied about me in response to a simple question I had.
Click to expand...

Maybe you need to re-read it. She was just trying to help.

Why so defensive?


*edited for spelling*
 
redelicious said:
Maybe you need to re-read it. She was just trying to help.

Why so defensive?


*edited for spelling*
Click to expand...

It is because he is a confused, predatory wannabe stalker.

If you look at how other newbies are treated, you can see how supportive we generally are...
 
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Hi Owlz... I too fell that you owe Anelize an apology. I have only been on the board for a little over a month, and everyone has been wonderful about answering my questions. However, the answer I usually got in the beginning was “look here" or "check this."

I believe that this really made the information I found more important to me, because I had to analyze it for myself. When I have had questions about something I found, or felt, or discovered, Anelize has always been one of the first people I asked about it. She is always willing to take time out of her busy life to track down threads for me that I am too inept to find on my own, and to help me sort out the confusion I have felt after trying something new.

I am sorry to say that in my opinion, it did not take more than maybe an hour's worth of work on my own to determine the answer to your question.... have you visited the sites you were referred to yet, or taken a glance through the library? The very first link is titled “Abuse.”

No one here (with perhaps the exception of Master Mayberry- Hi JM) wants to jump down your throat, but we really can’t allow you to indulge in the abuse of one of our key members without saying something. Please take the criticism in the manner it was meant, constructively, learn from it, and move on.

Niteshade
 
niteshade said:

No one here (with perhaps the exception of Master Mayberry- Hi JM) wants to jump down your throat
Click to expand...

*grins* Some of you are simply too polite. I don't have that problem, especially since I have been getting reports about this guy for about 2 weeks, wondering what's wrong with him!
 
redelicious said:
Maybe you need to re-read it. She was just trying to help.

Why so defensive?


*edited for spelling*
Click to expand...

Owlz....

Why don't you do some general reading up instead of starting a thread for each and every question that you have?

This is my personal opinion of course. I'd suggest CastleRealm and Mistress Steel's Chambers. Not to mention, our Library. I'm sure you know how to find that one. We are talking about basic stuff here....

Limits.

Safewords.

There are pages and pages of material on these two items alone in our Library. That is not to say that they don't merit discussion again here, HOWEVER, you say you are here to learn--take advantage of the resources offered to you, and have at it--then come back and FINE TUNE your knowledge with the members of the forum.
Click to expand...

Helpful??? Telling me, in essence, to get lost (and doing so as sarcastically) in the bulk of the response above is helpful??? Had she simply replied with the other parts of what she said (Limits, Safewords), that would have been helpful, but the rest was an un-called-for slap in the face, given that I was invited, even encouraged to ask any questions I had when I first posted here.
 
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Owlz said:
Without just cause? Please re-read what she said & implied about me in response to a simple question I had.
Click to expand...


I did go back & read it, thinking I could have missed something...
She did or said nothing...other then make a suggestion and tell you where to find the answers to most of your questions. I can't begin to tell you how much helpful information I have found in that Library. Maybe you should take some time to do exactly what she said...
 
Owlz said:
Helpful??? Telling me, in essence, to get lost (and doing so as sarcastically) in the bulk of the response above is

helpful???

Had she simply replied with the other parts of what she said (Limits, Safewords), that would have been helpful, but the rest was an un-called-for slap in the face, given that I was invited, even [color-red]encouraged[/color] to ask any questions I had when I first posted here.
Click to expand...

I'm not going to argue with you. :)
 
Owlz said:
Without just cause? Please re-read what she said & implied about me in response to a simple question I had.
Click to expand...

Re-read.........more than once.........

she was absolutely polite..........

the only one that was rude, was you.......

I tried to warn you previously, in a nice way..........

Your journey is admirable..........if it's sincere........but spouting off about it all over.........and not taking well meant advice.....is not the way to go about it.

The masses here can't be wrong Owlz.

submitted with respect..........
 
Stud ... the first post you put up got a reference to the library, and i believe i attempted that quite politely.

Now, if you want bookends, with JM on one side, rosco on the other, and Eb ready to show you how a strap-on can be used without lube just keep tap dancing on the edge of a cliff wearing a blindfold.

Then we'll drag Pure in here so he quote you to death ... http://www.1st-vets.org/forum/images/smiles/icon_twisted.gif
 
Always looking for the positive in every negative, I can say there is a positive even to this situation. You no longer need to be questioning if you are more sub or D....D you are definately not....touchy and looking for sympathy are not in the list of D characteristics. Unfortunately, they are also absent from the sub list too, so I guess this means you are back to square one in trying to find just where it is you do fit comfortably and honestly.
 
AngelicAssassin said:
Stud ... the first post you put up got a reference to the library, and i believe i attempted that quite politely.

Now, if you want bookends, with JM on one side, rosco on the other, and Eb ready to show you how a strap-on can be used without lube just keep tap dancing on the edge of a cliff wearing a blindfold.

Then we'll drag Pure in here so he quote you to death ... http://www.1st-vets.org/forum/images/smiles/icon_twisted.gif
Click to expand...

LMFAO... OMG, AA, you kill me! That is great.
 
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