Good Porn Recommendations

Harry Kunst · Jul 8, 2003

Hello, Lit.

T.H. Oughts started a What Makes A Bad Porn Movie? thread. So I thought I'd start this so all you pervy posters can recommend some good porn movies to help us avoid all the crap out there.

Bad Porn usually has these things in it:

-Plastic breasts that don't wobble
-Bad script (the inevitable bad acting is sometimes bearable with a better script and no script is often better than a bad script)
-The lack of genuine female pleasure
-Men with funny hair (often ponytails or mullets)
-The lack of someone who really knows how to lick pussy
-Horrible Enya style music and fake overdubbed squeels that drown out any real sounds of pleasure

I watched 'Conquest' with Jenna Jameson and the "making of..." documentary was much much hotter than the film itself (which I fast forwarded through). They should just release a compilation of all the unedited "making of" footage from these films.

Good Porn:
-I quite like John Leslie's 'gonzo-style 'Voyeur' series (especially part 18, casting couch 2 which has cute Eastern European girls with a bit of genuine character about them))
-'The Opening Of Misty Beethoven' by Henry Paris is a really funny, well-written old porno film starring some really foxy 1970s babes and Jamie Gillis doing his best Cary Grant impersonation. It's basically a porno "My Fair Lady" with fucking instead of singing.

Guest · Jul 8, 2003

Harry Kunst · Jul 8, 2003

foxinsox said:
The best ones are home made

True. But that means the rest of us don't get to see them.

Guest · Jul 8, 2003

whatsinanameuk · Jul 8, 2003

foxinsox said:
Well.

There's this urban myth about a guy who caught his finacee cheating on him. So he got a PI to take a sneaky video of the lustful lass and her lothario lover.

Skip to the wedding reception, and he asks all the guests to look under their seats.

Yep -- a video of his new bride doin' the do with the best man.

Apparently the vengeful groom divorced her the next day, and her parents got stuck with paying for the wedding.

I forgot what my point was.

I'd forget my point if that happened to me!

I do agree though that the best porn is from home movies of people who are really enjoying each other, not because they are paid to fake it, but because they naturally please each other.

Harry Kunst · Jul 8, 2003

foxinsox said:
I forgot what my point was.

You can always find good porn at wedding receptions?

Not any of the weddings I've been to.

There's a thought. Maybe some enterprising porno producer should start a line in Honeymoon Videos. Could be a nice little nest egg for the young lovers. I wonder - do most newlywed brides leave the dress on for their first conjugal lovesesh?

BTW - the Pamela Anderson & Tommy Lee wedding vid isn't great porn at all but it's fascinating to watch.

Harry Kunst · Jul 8, 2003

whatsinanameuk said:
I do agree though that the best porn is from home movies of people who are really enjoying each other, not because they are paid to fake it, but because they naturally please each other.

Which ones do you recommend, whatsinaname?

Guest · Jul 8, 2003

whatsinanameuk · Jul 8, 2003

foxinsox said:
By the time the wedding rolls around, it's all been done, I'd hazard a guess.

Why does a bride smile on her wedding day?

Cos it's the last time she'll ever have to give a blow job.

Oh fox you are such a cynic. Maybe she's thinking something else ...

Mad_Jack_Rabbit · Jul 8, 2003

whatsinanameuk said:
Oh fox you are such a cynic. Maybe she's thinking something else ...

Yep. She's thinking 'No more silly diets. Cake and ice-cream here I come!'

ReadyMike · Jul 8, 2003

foxinsox said:
By the time the wedding rolls around, it's all been done, I'd hazard a guess.

Why does a bride smile on her wedding day?

Cos it's the last time she'll ever have to give a blow job.

I find this deep cynicism (sp?) oddly appealing.

bknight2602 · Jul 8, 2003

foxinsox said:
The best ones are home made

Yes, but I never get to watch too many of those.

Guest · Jul 8, 2003

I believe in love, really I do.

ReadyMike · Jul 8, 2003

Wow! Stop you're getting me hot!

bknight2602 · Jul 8, 2003

Re: I believe in love, really I do.

foxinsox said:
Why do women get married?

Cos vibrators don't mow lawns. Or have pension plans.

[/hijack]

LOL

I knew there had to be a reason.

SweetCherry · Jul 8, 2003

foxinsox said:
The best ones are home made

Can I watch your favorites?

whatsinanameuk · Jul 8, 2003

Re: I believe in love, really I do.

foxinsox said:
Why do women get married?

Cos vibrators don't mow lawns. Or have pension plans.

[/hijack]

You could always straddle your mower?

Ah - doesn't sort out the pension does it? Where could you meet a rich mower?

And where could we find some yummy home sex movies?

Guest · Jul 8, 2003

Rubyfruit · Jul 8, 2003

foxy, you know how to cure a nymphomaniac, don't you? marry her.

hi sweetie. :rose:

Guest · Jul 8, 2003

whatsinanameuk · Jul 8, 2003

Rubyfruit said:
foxy, you know how to cure a nymphomaniac, don't you? marry her.

hi sweetie.

Is that a new perversion? A particularly worrying one - curing nymphomania!!

wishbone96 · Jul 8, 2003

Emanuelle, Slyvia Kristel -gets me going.. the nuanced photography-the pure eroticism of scenery, really stiiring. They had something right when they filmed those movies. Ahh the seventies...... Regards

!rebeccakohl! · Jul 9, 2003

'Behind The Green Door' & 'Devil In Miss Jones' are classic '70s porno chic. You need to see those! Marilyn Chambers (Green Door) is ultra foxy & sweet and Georgina Spelvin (Miss Jones) is the best actress I ever saw in a porno.

!rebeccakohl! · Jul 10, 2003

I'd agree with wishbone's choice of Emannuelle for softcore and Harry's choice of 'The Opening Of Misty Beethoven' for hardcore but Henry Paris also did 'Barbara Broadcast' which is pretty hot too.

NorthwestRain · Jul 10, 2003

Japanese porn, for sure.
'Junko, Chika and Rika, 3 young babes.'

About three sexy 18 y.o. chicks having great fun fucking in the same room with two guys. The smiles on their faces and their truly wet pussies make it great!
The western stuff is usually so fake and these days it's straight up the ass.
(not that there's anything wrong with it!)

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