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dominate me!

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moonoversoho

Virgin
Joined
Apr 10, 2007
Posts
29
i've always been interested in bondage and domination (only light), but most of the time i've been the one taking control of my partners (as i am only 19, most of my boyfriends haven't really known what they wanted sexually). I really want my boyfriend to dominate me, but I don't know how to ask! we have a really good relationship, but he's fairly vanilla, and I wouldn't want to scare him too much. any ideas?

thanks everyone xxx
 
why not ask him to blinfold you....tell him you love the feeling of not being in control, and you find the vulnrable feeling a turn on.........use a gents tie, after a while remove it, then just say please as you hand it to him, im sure he will get the idea ....!

jx
 
This probably won't be a one conversation deal. If you simply say I want you to dominate me and he doesn't freak out, he is likely to have different ideas of what you mean by dominate, yanno?

Fury :rose:
 
Jonny G said:
why not ask him to blinfold you....tell him you love the feeling of not being in control, and you find the vulnrable feeling a turn on.........use a gents tie, after a while remove it, then just say please as you hand it to him, im sure he will get the idea ....!

jx
Click to expand...

Nice ass in that av, btw.

*smiles*

Fury :rose:
 
FurryFury said:
Nice ass in that av, btw.

*smiles*

Fury :rose:
Click to expand...

Thats so nice of you to say, however it is only my avatar, but i do have one just like it...!

jx
 
Jonny G said:
Thats so nice of you to say, however it is only my avatar, but i do have one just like it...!

jx
Click to expand...

You just crushed all of my illusions. *sigh*

I'll just prtend I didn't read this. ;)
 
When Someone You Love is Kinky (available through Greenerypress.com or amazon.com) has a lot of ideas for discussing BDSM with a "vanilla" partner. I'd suggest sitting down and defining whatyou mean by "dominate" before you talk with him- if your definition of dominate means a bit of rope and his taking charge in the bedroom, and his idea of dominate means you're wandering about the house naked except for a dog collar 24/7, and you simply say "I want you to dominate me!"... it won't be a very productive conversation. ;)
 
the captians wench said:
You just crushed all of my illusions. *sigh*

I'll just prtend I didn't read this. ;)
Click to expand...

lol....sorry about that...!

how can i make it up to you...!

jx
 
Perhaps my psyche isn't on 'right' , if I had to ask for someone to adopt dominant behaviours for me and they did , the 'compliance' of the act itself would actually be a massive deterrent .I guess there are always exceptions , none that I myself have directly experienced though.
 
im 19 as well, and my current relationship is my first BDSM relationship. it all started with increased communitcation. we talkedd about things we liked to do, things we thought about doing or things we fantazised about. we asked each other "would you rather questions" and made confessions. eventually, it came out that i wanted to be tied down. i was so nervouse about his reaction, but all A said was "i should spank you, youd probably like that". things just kept going from there. i never thought i would love things this much and i am so glad i brought it up. just make sure you take things like this slowly!
 
@}-}rebecca---- said:
Perhaps my psyche isn't on 'right' , if I had to ask for someone to adopt dominant behaviours for me and they did , the 'compliance' of the act itself would actually be a massive deterrent .I guess there are always exceptions , none that I myself have directly experienced though.
Click to expand...

I understand this statement.

It would seem in the asking and explaining that you remain in the 'Dom' position when your aim is the other end of the scale.

There can be a fine line between saying 'This could be an interesting thing to try' or 'I have fantasies about...' to 'I want this' or 'Please do this to me'

There are numerous threads about how to help someone you care about into a kinky person. But I have never read any posts that give a way of completely succeeding.

That may sound overly negative, it isn't meant to.
Bear in mind that even in kink aware relationships some things don't happen as you would like them or other things happen that you did not envisage.

I had a 'nilla boyfriend who had had a particular fantasy for many years.
There were elements of control in it. I agreed to help him fulfil it in the way he described it.
I had a fabulous, exciting, amazing, wonderful time and discovered the beginnings of my journey into BDSM. He found it did not match all he had ever dreamed of, and once done did not want to go there again.
 
shy slave said:
There can be a fine line between saying 'This could be an interesting thing to try' or 'I have fantasies about...' to 'I want this' or 'Please do this to me'
Click to expand...

Well I guess Shy it's the package deal scenario . I really don't have an issue expressing areas of 'interest' with dominants after a reasonable amount of trust has been established. In some real ways you become cohorts from different sides of the D/s spectrum to your dual success and satisfaction. Naturally...........that doesn't always include a menu of potential recreations I might desire, it's often no fruition in spite of the shared knowledge that I can equally appreciate. Surprise endorsements and twists never go astray.

Starting at ground zero however.....ohhhhh no.
 
@}-}rebecca---- said:
Perhaps my psyche isn't on 'right' , if I had to ask for someone to adopt dominant behaviours for me and they did , the 'compliance' of the act itself would actually be a massive deterrent .I guess there are always exceptions , none that I myself have directly experienced though.
Click to expand...

I understand exactly what you mean and would feel the same way if it was the beginning of a relationship. In an existing relationship, however, someone has to take that first step. I imagine it could be very difficult for a young man to do that...good men don't hit girls, etc. With "permission" from his girlfriend he may allow himself to release his Dominant tendancies if he does in fact has any.
 
callinectes said:
I understand exactly what you mean and would feel the same way if it was the beginning of a relationship. In an existing relationship, however, someone has to take that first step. I imagine it could be very difficult for a young man to do that...good men don't hit girls, etc. With "permission" from his girlfriend he may allow himself to release his Dominant tendancies if he does in fact has any.
Click to expand...
I have no great pearls of wisdom on how to intiate in existing relationships with men that aren't inherently dominant on my personal radar. Quite simply, no matter how tempting other traits may be they are not interchangeable for dominance. I would shift to neutral before any potential 'relationship' ensued. I am clear on this , happens often enough.
 
@}-}rebecca---- said:
I have no great pearls of wisdom on how to intiate in existing relationships with men that aren't inherently dominant on my personal radar. Quite simply, no matter how tempting other traits may be they are not interchangeable for dominance. I would shift to neutral before any potential 'relationship' ensued. I am clear on this , happens often enough.
Click to expand...

Understood. I'm the same way, or at least I am today. I sure do wish I had known 15 years ago what I know now though. ;)
 
myinnerslut said:
im 19 as well, and my current relationship is my first BDSM relationship. it all started with increased communitcation. we talkedd about things we liked to do, things we thought about doing or things we fantazised about. we asked each other "would you rather questions" and made confessions. eventually, it came out that i wanted to be tied down. i was so nervouse about his reaction, but all A said was "i should spank you, youd probably like that". things just kept going from there. i never thought i would love things this much and i am so glad i brought it up. just make sure you take things like this slowly!
Click to expand...
I keep forgetting you're 19. You are wise beyond your years.
 
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