I NEED HELP ASAP! Advice!!

Tell her what you know and kick her to the curb. She is using you for room and board. If she's not banging this guy, she will be soon. Cut your losses aand get rid of her
 
Invite him for a threesome.

Give your girl some more attention, he obviously is.
 
Get out before you get burned. That she feels she must lie to you about it does not bode well for the future.
 
PaGuy610 said:
Tell her what you know and kick her to the curb. She is using you for room and board. If she's not banging this guy, she will be soon. Cut your losses aand get rid of her
Ditto.

But do confront her with it first, though. Let her cry, apologize, say that
she'll never do it again...........and THEN kick her lying ass out to the curb.

Mark my words. If you let her slide by on this, she'll do it again if you get
married.

And then steal half of your stuff.

It's called, in legal terms, divorce.
 
She's a liar.

Confront her and then throw her out.

If she's lied once she'll do it again.
 
DigitalDreams said:
Hi everyone...I really need some advice....

I'm 26 and my girlfriendis 23. She has recently gone to finish up her college education at a school about an hour away from our house. We live together and basically I'm paying ALL the bills while she concentrates on school. We have a very nice lifestyle for our ages and we've been together for the past five years and we've talked about marriage.

Lately she has been up late on the computer (which isn't normal). Her excuse is that she is doing homework. Well...I know ALOT about computers and decided that I would monitor our network activity one night while she is "studying". I found out that she is talking to a guy that she goes to college with. When I mean talking they are VERY flirtatious. They were talking about hanging out, if her breasts were real or fake, how he wanted to come home with her (her response was "we'll see"), etc....

She obviously is lying to this guy, because he thinks she live alone (WRONG) and he also thinks that when she take my SUV that it belongs to her parents (she said they traded cars).

I don't know how to approach this. I've been considering two options. I could wait until she REALLY does something wrong or go ahead and lay it on her tonight. I feel like if I let it go I will know how far she is going to take it and if she would really cheat. If I let her know now then she may apologize, but continue (except be even more sneaky about it).

HELP!!!

Hmmmm. This is a hard one. It seems as if the correct choice would be to confront her, but as you said, she might just apologize and then continue (just covering her tracks better). If the conversations she was having with this guy were innocent, you would already know about it. There'd be no reason to lie about doing 'homework' or whatever other excuses she gives. What should you do? Well, that would all depend on how long you've been together and how well you think you know her. Have you ever caught her doing anything else? If so, when caught, how did she react and proceed afterwards? If she's known for apologizing and 'straightening up', and then later goes back to how she was before, you might already have your answer on what you should do. If you do confront her, think about what you want to say and ask before you do it. It helps, because you don't want the confrontation to turn into chaos.

I'm not going to give you a you should or you shouldn't because the choice is really up to you. I hope this does help you in some way.
 
dang, if everyone where throw out of a relationship everytime there is a problem (not even trying to solved it) there wouldnt be any solid couple out there!

I think you need to talk to her before she do something stupid. Try to be subtile, dont tell here right away that you "check" her online activites but that her behavior let you think that she might be "having" something going on with someone.... give here the chance to let her talk first.

good luck
 
geesh - checking up on your girlfriend. ewwwww
geesh - girlfriend flirting online without your knowledge. ewwwwww

I'm at a loss...
 
Print the conversations. Leave them on her suitcase which you have placed on the bed. Wait for her response.
 
First, I'm not sure I've ever heard of the existence of an attractive 23 year old university grrl who was 100% loyal to her boyfriend, especially when the boyfriend isn't on campus.

However, you have a few strong cards to play before giving her the boot.

1. You're paying the bills, so you can make changes for "budget" reasons.

2. You own the SUV.

3. You own the computer.

So...because the possibility exists that the attention the other guy is giving her is just flattering her and she in fact isn't going to stray....

You can make some changes.

1. You have now decided you want to drive the SUV. Every day. She'll have to get a ride, take the bus, use her car...whatever...but she doesn't get to go styling it up in your wheels to play with others. If she whines, say too bad. My truck, I'm driving it.

2. The computer needs to develop a problem that puts it in the shop for a week or two...take it somewhere and hide it.

3. If she chooses to stay out at nite in response....change the locks one day when she's out and don't tell her. When she comes home late, don't answer the door or phone (you sleep very soundly as it turns out).

4. If you're giving her money daily, stop. You've decided to put each of you on a weekly allowance starting a week from yesterday; you'll want receipts because you want to start saving for a...house...boat...airplane....whatever, some big thing You have decided is worth saving for.

She needs to understand you're not the Candy Man.

Then you'll find out if she thinks you're worth the effort...if there's a relationship going on or if you're just her sponsor.

If not, she'll just not come home some nite...and that's when you bag up her clothes in garbage bags and put them outside for her new boyfriend to pick up with His parents SUV.

Make sense?
 
DigitalDreams said:
Hi everyone...I really need some advice....

I'm 26 and my girlfriendis 23. She has recently gone to finish up her college education at a school about an hour away from our house. We live together and basically I'm paying ALL the bills while she concentrates on school. We have a very nice lifestyle for our ages and we've been together for the past five years and we've talked about marriage.

Lately she has been up late on the computer (which isn't normal). Her excuse is that she is doing homework. Well...I know ALOT about computers and decided that I would monitor our network activity one night while she is "studying". I found out that she is talking to a guy that she goes to college with. When I mean talking they are VERY flirtatious. They were talking about hanging out, if her breasts were real or fake, how he wanted to come home with her (her response was "we'll see"), etc....

She obviously is lying to this guy, because he thinks she live alone (WRONG) and he also thinks that when she take my SUV that it belongs to her parents (she said they traded cars).

I don't know how to approach this. I've been considering two options. I could wait until she REALLY does something wrong or go ahead and lay it on her tonight. I feel like if I let it go I will know how far she is going to take it and if she would really cheat. If I let her know now then she may apologize, but continue (except be even more sneaky about it).

HELP!!!


You don't know that she wasn't doing her homework as well as flirting (a word document isn't going to go across the network now is it). Not to mention everybody's definition of flirting varies to a degree. You do know she's being dishonest with this guy she goes to college with and that she's stringing him along possibly to see where it's going. It could be harmless and friendly, you don't know.

We also don't know is how the relationship is in terms of both of you. You say you've discussed marriage and you're living together. There has to be more to it than that. I'm guessing the extent of the marriage talks hasn't extended to a ring?

Talk to her. Hang out at school with her and meet some of her friends so you're not a secret. Don't throw it all away over a suspicion and don't let it die on the vine because you can't talk about it. At some point you thought the relationship was worth turning into a lifetime partnership. What's really changed?
 
In short...."My house, my money, my stuff....my Rules."

Shorten her leash, hard and fast.

If it works, she's yours, and you'll want to keep her on the length of leash that gets you what You want...more blowjobs, better cooking, whatever.

Gas, ass or grass...nobody rides for free baby.
 
sticky_keyboard said:
He's hanging out on lit.

His lit addition should monopolize the computer time so he won't have to worry about her flirting on line.
 
FinePhilly said:
She's a liar.

Confront her and then throw her out.

If she's lied once she'll do it again.
I would add, have anger sex first, and even anal. You might as well treat her like a whore if you are paying for it.
 
linuxgeek said:
Get out before you get burned. That she feels she must lie to you about it does not bode well for the future.
That he feels he must monitor her computer time does not bode well for the future, either.
 
lets see, you own the car and pay all the bills i bet the clown has already been in your suv and probably your GFs pants. so get online with the opportunist and tell him that you are going to kick the shit out of him. then confront the lying cheating bitch. or, call cheaters and get the whole thing exposed on television.
 
We've all said a lot, but I believe that this post by Lanc sums it up best:

Lancecastor said:
First, I'm not sure I've ever heard of the existence of an attractive 23 year old university grrl who was 100% loyal to her boyfriend, especially when the boyfriend isn't on campus.

However, you have a few strong cards to play before giving her the boot.

1. You're paying the bills, so you can make changes for "budget" reasons.

2. You own the SUV.

3. You own the computer.

So...because the possibility exists that the attention the other guy is giving her is just flattering her and she in fact isn't going to stray....

You can make some changes.

1. You have now decided you want to drive the SUV. Every day. She'll have to get a ride, take the bus, use her car...whatever...but she doesn't get to go styling it up in your wheels to play with others. If she whines, say too bad. My truck, I'm driving it.

2. The computer needs to develop a problem that puts it in the shop for a week or two...take it somewhere and hide it.

3. If she chooses to stay out at nite in response....change the locks one day when she's out and don't tell her. When she comes home late, don't answer the door or phone (you sleep very soundly as it turns out).

4. If you're giving her money daily, stop. You've decided to put each of you on a weekly allowance starting a week from yesterday; you'll want receipts because you want to start saving for a...house...boat...airplane....whatever, some big thing You have decided is worth saving for.

She needs to understand you're not the Candy Man.

Then you'll find out if she thinks you're worth the effort...if there's a relationship going on or if you're just her sponsor.

If not, she'll just not come home some nite...and that's when you bag up her clothes in garbage bags and put them outside for her new boyfriend to pick up with His parents SUV.

Make sense?
 
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