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get my woman to give a proper BJ...

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preacherboy1979

Virgin
Joined
Nov 17, 2004
Posts
24
I've been with my fiancee for over 7 years...While i enjoy our sex, I would like her to give me a BJ and finish it. She complains that it tastes bad. Does anyone have suggestions about how to make cum taste better, or to get her to lessen this inhibition?

My best friend told me that I have to "Release the hounds!!" when I cum into her mouth. In over 7 years, I haven't had the chance yet. Then again, I don't know if I would remember to do that if she was giving a BJ correctly.

Thanks!!
 
I can't tell you how many guys post here whose wives won't give them ANY kind of a BJ....So my advice is to be happy. :D Would you rather she swallow and hate giving them to you, or be reluctant to give one because of having to undergo the 'finish line experience'? Are you sure that part of the experience is so important to you that her enjoyment of going down on you may be sacrificed in the process? It is also possible that over time, she may change her mind about the finish line, or may be willing to swallow on occasion to add to your happiness. :) I would advise against forcing the issue with her. Just my 2 cents...sometimes not even worth that much! lol
 
I am happy SueJ...There's just times when I want to lay there and cum without having to worry about her pleasure...Watching her cum when I'm down on her is such a huge turn-on...Thanks for the reply though
 
I'm going to expound one of my crazy theories here as a side-note: Lack of oral sex is the reason 90% of men cheat ont heir wives. Nothing scientific there, just a theory based on all the friends I have with unhappy marriages and every one of em having this as their major complaint.

Now while I'd love to be my normal sympathetic and sensitive to my partner's enjoyment self, I have to say I empathise with preacherboy here. There is something to having a woman complete a blowjob. The orgasm is a completely different experience, I think, and feels different. This may all be psyhcological, I don't know, but I think it is a unique and different sensation.

My wife gives great head, plain and simple. I have no complaints. Lately though she kept stopping even when I wanted her to continue always coming up wiht some excuse. SO finally I asked and found out that the reason why is because we're trying to get her pregenant and she didn't want to waste a single opportunity. Well, I couldn't bery well bitch about that, now could I, and it wasn't like she quit going down on me altogether.

Still, I feel your pain. There are some things that you can do to change your diet to change the tast of your semen, but I've never investigated them. I vaguely remember a Sex in the City episode I walked in on where this was a topic of conversation. My wife told me she had no complaints with my taste, so I jsut ignored it, but there's got to be some info out on the Web somewhere. Your first step though should be to make sure this is the ONLY reason she won't go to completion and make sure there isn't something else.

Shoot, how many times are we gonna say it. Communication, Communication, Communication.
 
From a woman's perspective, I don't get it... I mean, it doesn't taste that bad! I have to admit, the first couple of times I did it, I was completely surprised by it, and the taste was a bit overwhelming, but once I knew what to expect, it wasn't earth-shatteringly bad! I actually have more of a problem with giving a BJ that lasts for any amount of time - my jaw and tongue get sore! But I have no problem with helping my FB get to the edge and then sucking him into my mouth as he comes.
 
TBKahuna123 said:
I'm going to expound one of my crazy theories here as a side-note: Lack of oral sex is the reason 90% of men cheat ont heir wives. Nothing scientific there, just a theory based on all the friends I have with unhappy marriages and every one of em having this as their major complaint.

Wow. I cannot believe you just said that. An insensitive jerk of a man cheats on his wife - not one because hes unhappy about oral sex. If I was the kindof person who slapped people across the face; I would slap you. Oral sex is not the cause of how happy or unhappy a marriage is - and to even suggest such a thing is appaling to me.

Now, on to "get my woman to give a proper BJ"...I also feel like you just need to deal with it. There are things you are uncomfortable doing sexually, I'm sure, and being pressured into them would not be enjoyable to you. You need to be sympathetic.
Click to expand...
Click to expand...
 
TBKahuna123 said:
There are some things that you can do to change your diet to change the tast of your semen, but I've never investigated them.
Click to expand...
There have been threads dealing with this, some of them fairly recent, but I'm too lazy to do a search.

Preacherboy, have you actually tasted your own cum just to see exactly why she doesn't like the taste? It won't kill you or make you gay or anything.

preacherboy1979 said:
Then again, I don't know if I would remember to do that if she was giving a BJ correctly.
Click to expand...
If I were your fiancée and I stumbled across this post (and read your thread title), I'd probably not give you a blow job--even a crappy one--again. If/when you DO raise the subject with her, don't phrase it in a way that might make her feel inadequate/insecure. It's possible that she feels this way already but isn't sure what to do about it.

My best friend told me that I have to "Release the hounds!!" when I cum into her mouth.
Click to expand...
Your best friend's full of crap. Some women like to have a little advance notice before they have a load of cum shot down their throat. I can tell when my husband's about to cum whether he announces it or not, but unless you know your partner well, this isn't always easy to do.

TBKahuna123 said:
Shoot, how many times are we gonna say it. Communication, Communication, Communication.
Click to expand...
Until we're blue in the face? Until our fingers fall off from typing the same thing over and over?
 
Fruit makes cum taste sweeter... :D
One other reason I have heard from women who avoid oral, is that the male is very large, and they feel like the penis in their mouth gags them. Some advice on this would be to have her not go so deep, and NEVER try to fuck her mouth. Even though I always liked oral when I was with guys, that was one big turnoff, cause when he forces it in your mouth, hard and deep, you really do feel that gagging reflex...

As far as correctness etc. everybody has their own techniques. I do some things with sucking the tip that absolutely drive guys wild and they have never experienced these methods. And I do not strictly go up and down, and also you my hand in conjunction with my mouth. I also break it up and lick the sides and tip with the tip of my tongue. No, not exactly what you see in a porn movie, but EVERY guy I have ever done says I have rocked their world...
 
Cakegirl said:
From a woman's perspective, I don't get it... I mean, it doesn't taste that bad! I have to admit, the first couple of times I did it, I was completely surprised by it, and the taste was a bit overwhelming, but once I knew what to expect, it wasn't earth-shatteringly bad! I actually have more of a problem with giving a BJ that lasts for any amount of time - my jaw and tongue get sore! But I have no problem with helping my FB get to the edge and then sucking him into my mouth as he comes.
Click to expand...

While you may not get it, there are plenty of women who don't enjoy the taste...and just because it isn't her cup of tea doesn't mean that she should be taught how to do it "properly."
Okay, I'll stop lecturing now, but for some reason, this thread just makes me angry.


Silver: Stupid immature boys. I would much rather someone break up with me then cheat on me...
 
TBKahuna123 said:
Lack of oral sex is the reason 90% of men cheat ont heir wives.
Click to expand...
Since that's not a scientific poll, I'll take it for what it's worth.

Hell, if a damn blow job is THAT important, go to your local rest area, close your eyes, and ignore the stubble.
 
chicago31man said:
If the guy is doing it to the woman, she should reciprocate. Not doing this is just plain selfish.
Click to expand...
Nor should sex be used as a weapon--by EITHER of them.

Actually, I agree with your above statement, but I think that perhaps it's more appropriate to get to the root of the problem. If a woman doesn't like to give a blow job, the thing to do is find out why (communicate?) without whining about it, either to her or to strangers on an erotic story site message board.

The next part of my post is entirely speculative, since I don't have enough information about this couple:

We're all products of our upbringing in some way or another, though some of us seem to be more successful at overcoming some of the more negative things we've picked up along the way. Someone who's brought up in an environment in which intercourse is seen as "dirty"--and has completely bought into this way of thinking--is going to be absolutely horrified at the thought of putting his/her mouth anywhere near someone's genitals. While change is entirely possible, it won't happen overnight.

Along those lines, any type of negative sexual experience may also influence someone's desire to give a blow job (childhood sexual abuse, being forced to perform oral, etc.). Since we don't know all the details of this couple's relationship, we don't know if this is the case or not.

Inexperience and insecurity also contribute. Outside of the bedroom, I tend to avoid doing things that I don't consider myself good at, so I don't see why the same attitude couldn't come into play during sex. Perhaps if preacherboy1979 would try to give his fiancée some positive encouragement when she does do something that he really enjoys during a blow job, she'd feel more comfortable with her abilities. The thing is, though, they've been together seven years. If he were so unhappy with what was happening, shouldn't he have said something sooner? She may not even be aware that there's a problem, and it's unfair of him not to give her a chance to fix it.

[/speculation]

You might not have gathered this from what I've said in this thread, but I LOVE giving blow jobs--and I'm pretty damn good at doing it (or so I've been told). I was, however, offended by the attitude conveyed by the thread starter's word choices, and my responses reflected that, NOT my attitude toward oral sex.
 
And another thing. . .

chicago31man said:
The fact of the matter is, and call it insensitive if you like, men will leave and stray if not taken care of sexually, and this includes oral.
Click to expand...
Has it ever occurred to you that when there are problems in the marriage that DON'T involve sex, they can manifest themselves in the bedroom?

One half of the couple (I refuse to point fingers at either gender) might have resentments/issues that have nothing to do with sex. It might involve feeling taken for granted, feeling that the other partner isn't doing his/her fair share of the housework/childcare, or any number of factors. It's generally something that builds over a period of time. As a result, sexual favors are withheld, and it may not even be a conscious act by the person doing the withholding. It's a breakdown in communication. Some people have no problem geting naked with others, but they're unable to discuss what they do with each other when they're naked, and that's unfortunate.

If one half of the couple doesn't feel that he/she's being "taken care of sexually," then (with FEW exceptions) that person's AT LEAST 50% responsible for the problem.

A man who decides to cheat on his wife because he's not getting adequate (or ANY, for that matter) blow jobs is probably:

1. Ignoring that the problem might have a deeper root cause.

2. Looking for ANY excuse to cheat.
 
Sorry if someone already covered this stuff...I didn't read all the replies.

Just don't cum in her mouth.

You could also change your diet a little bit do that your jizz tastes a little better. If you eat a lot of fruit it will have a very neutral taste, if you eat a lot of sugar it will be sweet, if you do drugs it's normally bitter...there is all kinds of information about it on the internet if you know where to look.
 
Enjoy what you get

My wife will not swallow, but she'll get me there and then lick the bottom. I have to be lying on my back -- she hates facials. (See other thread.)
 
bisexplicit said:
Wow. I cannot believe you just said that. An insensitive jerk of a man cheats on his wife - not one because hes unhappy about oral sex. If I was the kindof person who slapped people across the face; I would slap you. Oral sex is not the cause of how happy or unhappy a marriage is - and to even suggest such a thing is appaling to me.

Now, on to "get my woman to give a proper BJ"...I also feel like you just need to deal with it. There are things you are uncomfortable doing sexually, I'm sure, and being pressured into them would not be enjoyable to you. You need to be sympathetic.
Click to expand...

WOAH!!!!!!! First off, sorry, I think I was misunderstood in a HUGE way! Obviously I didn't make my point clear. I was NOT in ANYWAY trying to put the responsibility for a cheating husband on the wife not giving them a blow job. Perhaps I should have worded it like this: "Lack of oral sex is the EXCUSE 90% of men USE for cheat on their wives. "

Now does this make them insensitive jerks? Absofreakinlutely, I have a lot of friends that I'd lump right into that illustrious group. That is the problem right there, most (yes I said most) men don't take their marriage vows seriously. Me personally, I can honestly say I would never stray because of this, but given the current rate of divorce in this country, I'd say I'm in the minority.

The guys who would cheat on their SO's because of this are looking for an excuse, but they find it. I also think that it's because oral sex is one of the most intimate acts you can perform on your spouse, even more intimate than actual intercourse. Because of that, it's one of the first ones to go when the sexual attraction starts to dry up. When that starts to happen, someone who is predisposed to cheat on their wife will start looking elsewhere, and the lack of oral sex is a readily accessible excuse.

There is it, the sad reality of how shallow most men are. I also HAVE to admit that I do like it better when my wife takes me all the way. It's very special both physically and psychologically, but even if she doesn't it's not like I think it totally spoils the intimcay of the act. I was just trying to say that I understand preacherboy's feelings and don't think they are totally invalid.

bisexplicit, I feel really bad that I offended you. It certainly wasn't my intention. Really I was just trying to play Devil's Advocate and explain why we men desire completion of the act. Please forgive me, it seems I'm suffering from Foot-in-Mouth-Disease today. :(
 
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Cakegirl said:
From a woman's perspective, I don't get it... I mean, it doesn't taste that bad!
Click to expand...

I've tasted a guy that actually made me gag and spit it out! And I generally LOVE the taste!
 
Eilan said:
Since that's not a scientific poll, I'll take it for what it's worth.

Hell, if a damn blow job is THAT important, go to your local rest area, close your eyes, and ignore the stubble.
Click to expand...

hehehe
 
Eilan said:
TBKahuna123 said:
Shoot, how many times are we gonna say it. Communication, Communication, Communication.
Click to expand...

Until we're blue in the face? Until our fingers fall off from typing the same thing over and over?
Click to expand...

Communication, Communication, Communication. C&P cuts down the typing!
 
TBKahuna123 said:
WOAH!!!!!!! First off, sorry, I think I was misunderstood in a HUGE way! Obviously I didn't make my point clear. I was NOT in ANYWAY trying to put the responsibility for a cheating husband on the wife not giving them a blow job. Perhaps I should have worded it like this: "Lack of oral sex is the EXCUSE 90% of men USE for cheat on their wives. "

Now does this make them insensitive jerks? Absofreakinlutely, I have a lot of friends that I'd lump right into that illustrious group. That is the problem right there, most (yes I said most) men don't take their marriage vows seriously. Me personally, I can honestly say I would never stray because of this, but given the current rate of divorce in this country, I'd say I'm in the minority.

The guys who would cheat on their SO's because of this are looking for an excuse, but they find it. I also think that it's because oral sex is one of the most intimate acts you can perform on your spouse, even more intimate than actual intercourse. Because of that, it's one of the first ones to go when the sexual attraction starts to dry up. When that starts to happen, someone who is predisposed to cheat on their wife will start looking elsewhere, and the lack of oral sex is a readily accessible excuse.

There is it, the sad reality of how shallow most men are. I also HAVE to admit that I do like it better when my wife takes me all the way. It's very special both physically and psychologically, but even if she doesn't it's not like I think it totally spoils the intimcay of the act. I was just trying to say that I understand preacherboy's feelings and don't think they are totally invalid.

bisexplicit, I feel really bad that I offended you. It certainly wasn't my intention. Really I was just trying to play Devil's Advocate and explain why we men desire completion of the act. Please forgive me, it seems I'm suffering from Foot-in-Mouth-Disease today. :(
Click to expand...

Oh, now I feel bad that you feel bad! hehe. On my part, I'm just going to see it all as one big miscommunication. And, I can see that as an "excuse," but not a valid one. I'm glad you understand that difference.
I do differ on the opinion that oral sex is more intimate than intercourse, however differing opinions are not a bad thing. :)
While it may suck (no pun intended) for this guy to not have his BJs finished, it is just another differing of opinion between the two of them. I mean, imagine this thread was about golden showers or something. He loves it; she doesn't. I can't imagine anyone would say "Oh, she really needs to do that to make him happy." In her head, maybe swallowing is just as bad as that. *shrugs*
Anyway, don't worry, I say things that are misinterpreted all the time. I hope you have a nice day. :) (And sorry about threatening to slap you...)
 
Wow...

Wow...I didn't realize how much discussion this simple question would trigger.

I've never made a big deal out of my fiancee not giving me BJs. We enjoy our lovemaking so much that the BJ aspect isn't an overbearing issue. As I said earlier, it's just that sometimes I would like to lay back and relax. I'm one of those guys who worries during intercouse whether my woman is enjoying it and is going to cum. I'm not going to cheat on her because of that.

I'm just looking for suggestions like leahlo gave. I could just get my fiancee to get me to the edge in her mouth and then have her handjob me to orgasm. I'll also eat more fruit. :)
 
bisexplicit said:
I do differ on the opinion that oral sex is more intimate than intercourse, however differing opinions are not a bad thing. :)
Click to expand...

I'd agree with you that oral sex is not as intimate as intercourse. When I want a BJ or handjob, I'm not looking for intimacy. I want an orgasm that is unbridled. I do love the intimacy of intercourse. Different feelings lead to different solutions. A need for love and intimacy leads to lovemaking while a need for release leads to masturbation or BJs. That's all I'm saying.

By the way, you are one beautiful sexual woman, bisexplicit. I loved your pics.
 
preacherboy1979 said:
I'm just looking for suggestions like leahlo gave. I could just get my fiancee to get me to the edge in her mouth and then have her handjob me to orgasm. I'll also eat more fruit. :)
Click to expand...

So, is this different from the question you originally posted?
Does she still not want to swallow your cum, or is she unable to make you cum via oral sex?
 
bisexplicit said:
Does she still not want to swallow your cum, or is she unable to make you cum via oral sex?
Click to expand...

Both questions are valid.

She doesn't like giving BJs because of it's taste, and I could use some tips from women on how they have given awesome BJs in order to coach my fiancee.
 
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