Statutory Rape & Such...

Okay, I'm asking this to get some solid information for one of my close relatives... it isn't me so no one call the cops or kick me off of lit or do anything drastic, lol.

Anyhow, the guy (my relative) is 24 and his girlfriend is 16... her parents are aware of the relationship and completely support it. The girl lives in Wisconsin were consent laws are brutal. Does anyone know if the fact that they have parental support means anything? And any information on the legal issues with this would also be appreciated...

Don't depend on heresay. Unless there's a Wisconson D.A. skulking around in here - go here :

http://www.teen-aid.org/State_Resourses/Wisconsin.htm

and look it up yourself. More info ? Just do a GOOGLE SEARCH

Use WISCONSIN RAPE LAWS

I did a search and I've been reading up on it for the last three hours or so, basically the only thing I get is information on age of consent which I know is 18. I've even been to the site you linked to (I remember it because 'resources' is spelled wrong in the link and I thought that was a bit odd), lol. Thankyou for the help... but I'm moreso wondering if the fact that the support of the girl's parents means anything legally or if it just means that they are bad parents under the law.

My relative really loves this girl but they are wondering if, no matter what they do, he still runs the chance of getting into serious legal trouble until she turns 18. I just wanted to hear from people who know more about this than I do if any of them are on the lit boards... but I'll continue doing some research of my own. And I guess if all else fails I could call my lawyer and scare the hell out of him.

My initial reaction is that a 24 year old who is with a 16 year old has some major social problems. There's nothing wrong with dating a younger person, but dating a kid in highschool when you're an adult is wrong. Maybe it's because I'm a teacher, and I'm 24, and my students are about that age, but my initial reaction is "ewwww" I'm also concerned about parents who would allow their child to date an adult of 24. Regardless of how "mature" a 16 year old may be, no 16 year old is ready for a relationship with a 24 year old.

Ok, having said that, my understanding is that if someone (obviously the girl and her parents aren't going to) were to report him for statutory rape, he would be convicted. The parents would most likely lose custody of the child in question, who would then be put into a foster home. The parents would most likely get into trouble for neglect or abuse.

I'm going to try not to take offense when it comes to your opinions deliciously_naughty... Don't judge a person you've never met though. The girl is more mature than any girl I have ever had the pleasure of talking to and more level headed and in tune with reality than anyone I have ever met, which is why she doesn't get along with people her own age who she finds too immature to be around. My relative and this girl are in love and the parents want their daughter to be happy. That doesn't make a bad parent.


But I don't want this to turn into a huge morals war. I just want people who have a fair understanding of the laws to give me a bit of unbiased information if they would.

Theres little to NO reason for you to take offense, she offered her thoughts on the matter, just respect them for what they are.

If you ask me, a 24 year old should definitly know better than to date a 16 year old. He might be a great guy, and she might be bright and mature, but no matter what, she's only 16. If he's reported, not only will he serve jail time, but he'll also be a sex offender, having to register with local law enforcement, etc.

Btw, if i may ask, where did he meet this girl? I find it rather hard to believe that a 24 year old and a 16 year old would be hanging out at the same place.

sure, it 4 years, it may not matter, but right now, she is still a child, no matter what. and thats just disturbing.

I think her parents consent only helps if they consent if they married. I wouldn't touch this situation with a 10 foot pole.

If you provide space for them to have sex, or transport her in your car for the purposes of her having sex with him, you could be charged as well. Many states have different views depending on the age of the other party. There is an eight year difference and that is quite a lot, esp at her age.

Parents can also change their minds and in many states the statue of limitations for statuatory rape exceed the actual age of consent.

I would say legally bad parents and if your relative really loves her he can wait until she is of legal age.

Noor

"Theres little to NO reason for you to take offense, she offered her thoughts on the matter, just respect them for what they are."
Umm... that's exactly what I did. And the only reason I feel slightly defensive is because of the fact that I love and adore the relative in question.

We're aware of the immediate legal consequences (that he would go up for court and face jail time and be registered as a sex offender) but, once again, I'm wondering about the parental consent involvement because I know many 16 year olds who have *married* 20 something year olds with parental consent. What I was questioning is whether or not it is legal for him to date her if her parents feel it is okay, if that fact would help them if they ever did get into any trouble.

"Btw, if i may ask, where did he meet this girl? I find it rather hard to believe that a 24 year old and a 16 year old would be hanging out at the same place."
Any number of places would easily mix ages. Hell, a trip to the grocery store would throw in both of those age groups. But they happened to meet at a book club event. And before anyone brings it up... my relative did not go there to hang out with young girls. His girlfriend was the only person there under twenty. Like I said, she's very intelligent and guided in life.

"sure, it 4 years, it may not matter, but right now, she is still a child, no matter what. and thats just disturbing."
Once again, I didn't want to turn this into a discussion on morals. Some people are open-minded and think nothing of it and others cringe in horror and cannot accept it. Age means nothing in the long run, our present day society has only made it an issue with consent laws.

Noor said:

I think her parents consent only helps if they consent to have them married. I wouldn't touch this situation with a 10 foot pool. many states have different views depending on the age of the other party. There is an eight year difference and that is quite a lot.
I would say legally bad parents and if your relative really loves her he can wait until she is of legal age. .
Noor

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Thank you, that was exactly what I was wondering about. I know that it comes into play with marriage but I wasn't sure about just dating... I don't think it does but I was kind of hoping that it did for their safety.

They often discuss breaking up and waiting two years but they're both of the 'life is too short to waste' mindset. I really just feel badly for them... the girl especially has had several hard knocks in the last few years.

Still, I think it would be hard for him to be convicted of anything when neither of their families would press charges and they don't flaunt their relationship at all.

MiloDRemix said:

but I'm moreso wondering if the fact that the support of the girl's parents means anything legally or if it just means that they are bad parents under the law.

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Just the opinion of a layman:

In general, your relative is breaking the law and if that fact is reported to the police, they must investigate and prosecute. Given that the "victim" of the crime is probably going to be a hostile witness, it will be passed over as unprosecutable because of lack of evicence -- unless the DA is a "moral crusader" willing to press the issue.

The girl's parents are aware that a crime is being commited and have not reported it and condone it -- that make them "accessories" to the crime, and possibly "conspiritors" as well. Either accessories or conspiritors can be prosecuted for the same crime as the actual perpetrator. Conspiritors can be prosecuted for the conspiracyas well as the crime itself.

In researching the laws for yourself, look for a "parental consent" clause -- many statutory rape laws have a clause that says parents can consent to sex or marriage of "underage children."

If there is no parental consent clause, or the wording is not in their favor -- i.e. they can consent to marriage but not extra-marital sex -- then their best option is for everyone to move to a state that does have a parental consent clause that favors the situation or a lower age of consent. (although that could be a federal crime or two -- "interstate flight to avoid prosecution," and "taking a female across state lines for immoral purposes.")

Simply stopping does NOT remove the risk of prosecution -- If she's not a virgin, then a crime has been committed and can't be undone.

It would have been best if they waited or moved first, but the deed has been done and all they can hope for is that nobody really cares enough to cause trouble.

Thank you SO much Weird Harold for being informative... I'll go and research a bit more on parental consent clauses right now. Or, hey, if you have anymore amazing info on sex laws stored up I would appreciate it . Really, I'm very grateful that someone replied usefully and didn't damn us all to hell, lol. THANK YOU!!

They basically have three choices as I see it.

1) Get married as early as the law allows.

2) Forget about each other and move on (probably not a realistic option at this time).

3) Wait til she's of legal age.

Quite honestly, if the love is real, then waiting 2 yrs isn't a big deal.

No matter how mature a 16yr old may act, no 16yr old is prepared for the fact of having to fend for themselves, paying bills, raising a family etc. Statistically speaking, early age marriages are more prone to divorce than older ages. Waiting would allow her to mature some more.

If they can't wait, find out what the minimum acceptable age of marriage is with parental concent. Then tie the knot as soon as possible.

I can't really be judgemental here, my wife is 13yrs younger than I am. But I caught her when she was 22.

MiloDRemix said:

I'm going to try not to take offense when it comes to your opinions deliciously_naughty... Don't judge a person you've never met though. The girl is more mature than any girl I have ever had the pleasure of talking to and more level headed and in tune with reality than anyone I have ever met, which is why she doesn't get along with people her own age who she finds too immature to be around. My relative and this girl are in love and the parents want their daughter to be happy. That doesn't make a bad parent.


But I don't want this to turn into a huge morals war. I just want people who have a fair understanding of the laws to give me a bit of unbiased information if they would.

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Look, it isn't about turning this into a morality war. I offered my opinion which quite frankly as a 24 year old who has taught 16 year olds, you can't blame me for. My bottom line was that if it is considered illegal in your state, the parents would be considered unfit, and your relative would have to register as a sex offender. If your beloved relative wants to run that kind of risk, and the child's parents want to go along with it, then I just hope that the little girl doesn't ever mention it to a teacher, who is law bound to report it.

Come on Tgirl... we all (well, some of us) know what you really want to say .

Remember that laws are, in large part generalizations. Age of consent laws are based on the power differential between children and adults. (And yes, that delineation itself is based on a generalization of emotional maturity.) The fact is, in America, a 24 year old has a lot more power than a 16 year old. She's barely able to drive, while he can vote, purchase/consume tobacco, purchase/consume alcohol, and run for public office.

Laws are made to apply to EVERYONE, and as such are generalizations. We have judges and trial by jury in order to allow for exceptions. Are there 16 year olds who deserve to be treated as 24 year olds? Probably. Are there 24 year olds who deserve to be treated as 16 year olds? Definitely. The laws are the same regardless. Your relative's gf might be that mature and deserving of "adult" status. But the law doesn't allow for that qualitative decision, only the courts can. (Alternatively, they might look into "emancipated minor" status. It basically allows a 16 y.o. to become 18 in a legal sense. I'm not sure of the full scope, but I know it's usually for teens in horrible homes who need to be able to move out and live independantly.)

::nods to Tania:: I'm really surprised that you held your tongue for that long... and that you didn't write more, lol. I knew this would hit a sore spot with you but I thought it would be an easy way to clear some things up. I guess it would have been easier to just call the family lawyer and deal with the scrutiny though.

Thanks to everyone who replied to this and tried to answer my questions while sparing me the moral crap.

I didn't throw in any moral crap until my last post there... and even that was more of a 'sharing of my own experience' thing, lol. It was really hard to bite my tongue for that long though

Well, I know here in California it's not REQUIRED to report consensual sexual activity with an older partner if the minor is 16 or older and their partner is less than 10 years older, but Wisconsin is likely different....so, I looked it up!

The Wisconsin Department of Public Instruction's website (http://www.dpi.state.wi.us/dpi/dlsea/sspw/rrfsaa.html) states Suggested procedures for school professionals who become aware that a student under the age of 18 years has had consensual, sexual contact with another person differ dependent upon the student’s age .

The site goes on further to state Sexual intercourse with someone 16 or 17 years old is a Class A misdemeanor, and carries the same penalty classification as fourth degree sexual assault. [WI Stats. 940.225(3m) and 948.09] However, this behavior does not fall under the mandated reporting requirement in WI Stat. 48.981 if the school professional feels, in his/her professional opinion, the sexual contact is consensual.

And more... there is no reporting requirement in that regard and no authority under s. 48.981 for the county Department of Social Services to investigate reports of such activity.

And more...Under these circumstances, the school professional may wish to 1) take steps to ensure the student is fully cognizant of the potential adverse consequences of being sexually active, 2) ask the student whether he/she has talked to his/her parents or some other responsible, adult family member about being sexually active, and if not, provide the student with strategies and encouragement to do so, including offering to help the student speak with his/her parents, and 3) ask the student whether he/she has accessed appropriate health care services necessary to prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and, if not, provide the student with the necessary information to make a self-referral.

For more information, do a search for "Wisconsin child consensual sex reporting guidelines" or something similar...

Editted to fix spelling errors

Thanks SexyGiggles

I will check out that site shortly...

Tania_Rides said:

Ducklover's reply was more along the lines of intelligent, I thought... not judgmental... I just hate it when people get self righteous and cut down situations they don't understand. I tip my hat to thee, DuckLover...

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<bows> Thanks. I try to withhold judgement when I lack information. Besides, the original question was about legality, not morality. I'll try to save my moral opinions for times when people ask for them (in most cases)

Thanks to SexyGiggles for the extensive information. Even more thanks for citing your source!! With all the BS on the internet, citing sources is critical to your credibility. I commend all the Liticons who cite sources and provide references to us for more information!

dating a kid in highschool when you're an adult is wrong

Im so with delicious on this one...

Why would a 24 year old want to date...a child? The girl isnt even done maturing yet...who knows what she will want in a year or two...that age is so full of change....

To my knowledge...anyone can press charges if they get wind of their sexual relationship. Uncle, aunt, grandparents, a teacher, a friends parent...they can file a report and the state can run with it.

I say this because I know of a few guys this has happened too...and the age gap was no where near as big as it is in this situation as well.

why would her parents be ok with this?

I dont get it...maybe cuz I was raised being told that when I was in high school I dated guys my age....I just see it as sort of wrong on this guys part...

"Why would a 24 year old want to date...a child?"
Sometimes the 'child' is just as mature as the 24 year old and you can look past the age difference because you love someone and because you're perfectly compatible in every single way.

"The girl isnt even done maturing yet...who knows what she will want in a year or two...that age is so full of change...."
A girl can be forced to 'mature' early emotionally and we all mature physically at different ages... some girls know what they want when they're 15/16 years old and their ideals and values and plans don't change. The only thing I changed from my 15 year old stage up to my 18 year old stage was lipstick preference.

True that anyone can press charges but nothing can be done beyond that if it cannot be proven that the couple in question were/are sexually involved.

"why would her parents be ok with this?"
I'll tell you why my mother was. She knew that my boyfriend was the best thing for me and that he really cared for me and that age is nothing in the long run.

I think Weird Harold and SexyGiggles gave the most straightforward answers.

Statutory rape is difficult to prosecute, and it is not done as often as people think it is. Yeah, sure an angry parent can make the accusation (or teacher or whoever), but these situations are typically not something the legal system likes to get involved with.

Is it "okay" because the parents say it's okay? Well, I don't understand a parent saying it's okay for their 16 year old daughter to have sex (hey, just my own personal thing here, not meaning to judge anyone!), but no, it doesn't somehow make it "legal". The parents could be charged with neglect - providing social services and/or the legal system wants to get sticky about this.

As far as a man in his 20s wanting to date a girl in her mid-teens, I would have to know the situation. And that's generic - I don't want to know more about this particular situation, thank you! Here in So Cal, it is very common among Mexican females who are 14 and 15 getting involved with men in their early to mid 20s. These girls typically do not have have their parents in the states, so they do not have permission to marry. Yet, in their culture (rural Mexico) it is not uncommon for a girl, upon hitting puberty, to get married. These girls actually speak of the men as their "husbands" and the men honestly love and care for the girls. Certainly difficult for many in the US to get their arms around, but not for them.

Also, there are people who are in certain cultures or religious beliefs who think there is absolutely nothing wrong with a teen girl (under 18) dating or having a young man in his 20s in her life. Often, it is expected the girl will marry young, sometimes as soon as is legal for her to do so. Is it a crime? No. Is it "icky"? Only for those who might not see why it would happen. I also have a friend who has been married to the same man for 40 years. When she married him she was 16 and he was 23 - they met when she was 14 and he was 21. Their marriage is happy and strong. It can and does happen.

As for the situation at hand, you would really need to check out the state statutes. You could also call your county social services for information. You need not give any identifying information about you or your relative. Of course, the only certain way to avoid prosecution is wait 2 years.

Good luck!

Okay... why don't we all stop repeating ourselves. Half of you don't understand why such a horrible thing would be possible and why an age difference in a relationship would work.

Tania has gone out on her own and explained it to you.

Let me sum it up: What was okay for you is not okay for someone else. What happened to you as a child did not happen to someone else as a child. Get over it. We're all different and we should accept each other's relationships and choices.

Some girls are perfectly happy dating the high school boys and some girls happen to stumble upon a boyfriend who isn't in their high school and who happens to be older. Love knows no age and all that crap...

I'm just sick of Tania having to repeat herself and I know that this is hurting her feelings all over again. I'm sorry I posted my legal questions, baby.

Thanks SexyChele... I've been a longtime admirer of your posts . Throughout today I've managed to gather a fair understanding of exactly how the laws with this work. I really don't think that my relative and his girl have anything to worry about at all. Especially since they're talking about getting married very soon...