Why do you think you're NOT into BDSM?

DéjàNu said:
but maybe I have all that wrong, class, respect and dignity have nothing to do with sex.

i think it's a misperception that bdsm eliminates class, respect and dignity.

like any other kind of relationship there's always the possibility for abuse and disfunction.

but healthy relationships of any kind require respect and dignity as a foundation and it's patently incorrect to assume this doesn't exist in bdsm relationships.

it may not be something that works for you and you may not understand it, but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist for others.
 
Hester said:
i think it's a misperception that bdsm eliminates class, respect and dignity.

like any other kind of relationship there's always the possibility for abuse and disfunction.

but healthy relationships of any kind require respect and dignity as a foundation and it's patently incorrect to assume this doesn't exist in bdsm relationships.

it may not be something that works for you and you may not understand it, but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist for others.

This is a great quote.

Sometimes I wish wisdom like this could be the default so I could actually have fun being inflammatory.
 
Hmmmm... this thread has been interesting to read.

First of all, I can't believe how narrow-minded the GB has become. Also, people's definition of BDSM, I think, are way too narrow.

One needn't be a card-carrying member of the local dungeon club to be into BDSM. That's akin to suggesting that someone isn't romantic because he doesn't gather wildflowers for his beloved every day. There are degrees of intensity in all things.

Also, anyone who suggests that people involved in BDSM, by nature, must have some sort of mental deficiency are showing a lot of ignorance.
 
Hester said:
i think it's a misperception that bdsm eliminates class, respect and dignity.

like any other kind of relationship there's always the possibility for abuse and disfunction.

but healthy relationships of any kind require respect and dignity as a foundation and it's patently incorrect to assume this doesn't exist in bdsm relationships.

it may not be something that works for you and you may not understand it, but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist for others.

if it exist, good for them! Am not judging their choice of sex life, that is not the question anyway.

There is different aspect of a BDSM relationship, some are in it for the pain and the thrill of sex while enduring or inflicting it, thats a kink. Am talking about the BDSM type of relationship where it involve mental ownership, where the partner (bad choice of word here) is used as a slave. That is where am questionning "class, respect and dignity".
 
Marquis said:
Not fun sex at least.


really Marquis, come on, how can you say that? that mean that anyone who dont have sex involving BDSM dont have fun sex?

let me laugh openly!!! lol
 
DéjàNu said:
really Marquis, come on, how can you say that? that mean that anyone who dont have sex involving BDSM dont have fun sex?

let me laugh openly!!! lol


Returning to the title of this thread:

Tell me about an experience where you had a lot of fun with sex, and I will tell you how it relates to BDSM.
 
DéjàNu said:
There is different aspect of a BDSM relationship, some are in it for the pain and the thrill of sex while enduring or inflicting it, thats a kink. Am talking about the BDSM type of relationship where it involve mental ownership, where the partner (bad choice of word here) is used as a slave. That is where am questionning "class, respect and dignity".

this is what i'm talking about, though.

for some the concepts of "ownership" and "slavery" work and the presence of these dynamics does not mean there isn't respect and dignity and all that good stuff. perhaps for you it wouldn't work that way (me, either). but i don't think it's appropriate to say that it can't exist that way for others (especially since i have seen that it does)
 
Marquis said:
Returning to the title of this thread:

Tell me about an experience where you had a lot of fun with sex, and I will tell you how it relates to BDSM.


twist it the way you want, you still saying that sex not involving BDSM is not fun sex.
 
DéjàNu said:
really Marquis, come on, how can you say that? that mean that anyone who dont have sex involving BDSM dont have fun sex?

let me laugh openly!!! lol


Returning to the title of this thread:

Tell me about an experience where you had a lot of fun with sex, and I will tell you how it relates to BDSM.
 
I've got a mega-wide definition of "BDSM sex", so wide as to be practically useless: to me, it means anything involving a power exchange. Therefore, so much is included that only first-edition Joy Of Sex-type sex (before they included a loving-bdsm section!) is out. With the little balding, bearded hippie guy. Mutual pleasuring and loooooovemaking. Flower child sex.

Thus I declare that the GB is the new BDSM forum and the marguis our rightful moderator.
 
like most people i've experiemented with lots of different concepts. its been years since i did anything bds or m. theres a vibe that goes with it i just find tacky. leather only looks good on people who are in shape and latex smells funny and the people who tend to wear such things must live in houses with no light or mirrors. with that said i can see some appeal and i think everyone at some points incorporates these things into thier sex lives.

i prefer romance and sensuality, lazy fucking and paying attention to little details to drive your partner crazycreating a comfortable and soothing enviroment.
 
RawHumor said:
Hmmmm... this thread has been interesting to read.

First of all, I can't believe how narrow-minded the GB has become. Also, people's definition of BDSM, I think, are way too narrow.

One needn't be a card-carrying member of the local dungeon club to be into BDSM. That's akin to suggesting that someone isn't romantic because he doesn't gather wildflowers for his beloved every day. There are degrees of intensity in all things.

Also, anyone who suggests that people involved in BDSM, by nature, must have some sort of mental deficiency are showing a lot of ignorance.



Great post, hooray, much agreed.
 
DéjàNu said:
if it exist, good for them! Am not judging their choice of sex life, that is not the question anyway.

There is different aspect of a BDSM relationship, some are in it for the pain and the thrill of sex while enduring or inflicting it, thats a kink. Am talking about the BDSM type of relationship where it involve mental ownership, where the partner (bad choice of word here) is used as a slave. That is where am questionning "class, respect and dignity".
I don't know you, and I don't know many that have posted on this thread. I don't even normally post on the GB, because of the narrow minded people that I see displayed here.

I am a slave. I have a Master. We live together in a 24/7 relationship. You are trying to say that I have no class, no dignity, and no respect??? I take high offense to that. You don't know me, you don't even know what the BDSM world is all about, so how can you criticize? How can you tell me what I am, when you haven't walked in my shoes?

Until you have been in a BDSM relationship, or a Master/slave relationship, I don't think you should be speaking anything about it.

My .02 worth

(By the way Marquis, I appreciate what you were trying to do with this thread, in trying to show people that everyone's lives may include pieces or parts of BDSM, without them realizing it :rose: )
 
RawHumor said:
Hmmmm... this thread has been interesting to read.

First of all, I can't believe how narrow-minded the GB has become. Also, people's definition of BDSM, I think, are way too narrow.

One needn't be a card-carrying member of the local dungeon club to be into BDSM. That's akin to suggesting that someone isn't romantic because he doesn't gather wildflowers for his beloved every day. There are degrees of intensity in all things.

Also, anyone who suggests that people involved in BDSM, by nature, must have some sort of mental deficiency are showing a lot of ignorance.

I didn't get that vibe at all. I think the GB is pretty tolerable. It's the source of this thread that they are unwilling to tolerate, and his narrow-mindedness as to what the definition of BDSM is. In fact, we should wander over to the BDSM forum and start a thread that states "Why do you think you're NOT vanilla?" And then we'll try stupidly, as he has, to label and categorize.
 
SierraMoon said:
I don't know you, and I don't know many that have posted on this thread. I don't even normally post on the GB, because of the narrow minded people that I see displayed here.

See, that's amusing, because I avoid the BDSM board for the same reason: narrow-minded people. Alright, that was a bit mean... Editing... What I'm trying to say is that the times when I've been in the BDSM forum, I found it very clique-ish. People were still passing down judgments upon others, there were too many rules and regulations to the lifestyle, even for those who only dabble in it. Yes, there are always going to be people who do not understand it, just as I'm sure there are people who do not understand how some people can be so "vanilla." I've found many BDSM folks poke fun at the vanilla lifestyle. There is a strange hierarchy as well. If one is into the 24/7 lifestyle of D/s, then they somehow are better or cooler than someone who is a "sudden sub," as breakwall likes to say, which I translate as someone who is submissive sexually, but not necessarily at all times of the day in various activities. I know that most of the posters from the BDSM board who have wandered over to the GB have been enjoyable and interesting, even when you travel in numbers to keep yourself safe from random GB attacks. However, we are the General Board. We are not the Vanilla Board.
 
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Myst said:
In fact, we should wander over to the BDSM forum and start a thread that states "Why do you think you're NOT vanilla?"
LOL, don't put ideas in my head for tomorrow night.
 
glamorilla said:
like most people i've experiemented with lots of different concepts. its been years since i did anything bds or m. theres a vibe that goes with it i just find tacky. leather only looks good on people who are in shape and latex smells funny and the people who tend to wear such things must live in houses with no light or mirrors. with that said i can see some appeal and i think everyone at some points incorporates these things into thier sex lives.

i prefer romance and sensuality, lazy fucking and paying attention to little details to drive your partner crazycreating a comfortable and soothing enviroment.

Very well put, Glam, I have to agree whole heartedly.
 
Myst said:
I didn't get that vibe at all. I think the GB is pretty tolerable. It's the source of this thread that they are unwilling to tolerate, and his narrow-mindedness as to what the definition of BDSM is. In fact, we should wander over to the BDSM forum and start a thread that states "Why do you think you're NOT vanilla?" And then we'll try stupidly, as he has, to label and categorize.

such a smarty.
 
glamorilla said:
such a smarty.

Pffft! I'm not the one who locked myself out of my apartment! That still makes me laugh to think of it. You get yourself into the most hilarious situations. I once locked myself out of my house wearing my PJ bottoms and wife-beater around midnight. That was an adventure.

Such a smarty. That reminds me of "Bust A Move."
 
Myst said:
Pffft! I'm not the one who locked myself out of my apartment! That still makes me laugh to think of it. You get yourself into the most hilarious situations. I once locked myself out of my house wearing my PJ bottoms and wife-beater around midnight. That was an adventure.


i should tell you what i did for new years.

i'm still blaming it on the transit strike.
 
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