BDSM Thoughts

[emme8]

Thank you Lotus and Mia.

Friday night I was chatting with a potential Dom. I was being hypnotized by his voice. I was so hot, so horny. He pushed for something and immediately I was out of the submissive mood. I thought of all the safety checks I didn't have. All the limits we hadn't discussed yet.

I will do everything my hubby wants. Even when in some twisted way it gets in a hotel room with a plug in my ass waiting for another man to come dominate me.

 

[MiaBabe23]

Thank you Lotus and Mia.

Friday night I was chatting with a potential Dom. I was being hypnotized by his voice. I was so hot, so horny. He pushed for something and immediately I was out of the submissive mood. I thought of all the safety checks I didn't have. All the limits we hadn't discussed yet.

I will do everything my hubby wants. Even when in some twisted way it gets in a hotel room with a plug in my ass waiting for another man to come dominate me.

You have to listen to your instincts, and if you don’t feel able to set out limits and safety with someone, it’s not gonna be good
Maybe playing it with your husband is the best way in that case?
Either way, stay safe and listen to your needs

 

[Purple_Fronds]

Thank you Lotus and Mia.

Friday night I was chatting with a potential Dom. I was being hypnotized by his voice. I was so hot, so horny. He pushed for something and immediately I was out of the submissive mood. I thought of all the safety checks I didn't have. All the limits we hadn't discussed yet.

I will do everything my hubby wants. Even when in some twisted way it gets in a hotel room with a plug in my ass waiting for another man to come dominate me.

I agree with @MiaBabe23 and @Lotus_Kitty on this, not only give yourself a break but it is imperative that there is always an eye to healthy. I actually question anybody male or female why they wouldn’t have some limits, and the reality is they nearly always do which is a good thing.

I think as well if you’re taking the role of being dominant to somebody you have a duty of care to help the submissive fill out their limits. It shouldn’t just be up to the submissive, especially if they’re relatively inexperienced to come up with their limits. As an example I’ve spoke to a number of women who identify as submissive and their limits are usually all physical based such as hair pulling, impact types etc. but I try and have them at least consider restrictions on mental aspects like not being called stupid, or being told their fat. Admittedly some women do want this and even crave it, in a similar way how some men get off on sph, I just want them to think about it fully. It is also my limit, in that if that’s what she’s looking for I’m not a match.

 

[emme8]

Thank y'all. I don't think he is dangerous. But I just hadn't throughly vetted him. Yet.

 

[emme8]

Several years ago when I was searching for a Dom. I sent every person who responded to n my profile a list of my limits and my rules. Before I started chatting. I turned off a few. Several were surprised. The very good ones were appreciative I didn't waste anyone's time.

 

[subdudeme13]

Several years ago when I was searching for a Dom. I sent every person who responded to n my profile a list of my limits and my rules. Before I started chatting. I turned off a few. Several were surprised. The very good ones were appreciative I didn't waste anyone's time.

It is good you search out your desires/kinks. I desire to have my limits pushed, the dynamic of being taken to the edge and then seduced into taking more. I sought out sadist. I was lucky they were all much smarter than me! One would always tell me, "Be safe out there" as I was leaving. Things can and do go wrong.

 

[Lucy_Lastic]

But I wanted to vent a bit about what I don't like about this world,

So to paraphrase:

You don't like the women who express what they actually want rather than just giving you what you want.

People all want different things. You have to accept that. A wise old Dom told me that a sub sets the destination, a good Dom chooses the route. That works for me.

I've been in D/s relationships but only if they provide me with what I need. I'm not there for you fulfil your needs at my expense. My needs are specific and not too flexible. If I can accommodate your needs/fantasies at the same time all well and good, but if I'm not getting what I need to get off, it's not going to last.

 

[Lucy_Lastic]

Maybe I'm not a true enough submissive.
However seeing my dominant submit would probably decrease their power over me.
But I'm maybe not a "good" enough sub.
I want to submit, but I recently realized its only in very limited ways.

If a dom doesn't recognise all of that, he's no good for you. It's the dom who's not 'good' enough.

 

[base10]

People all want different things. You have to accept that. A wise old Dom told me that a sub sets the destination, a good Dom chooses the route. That works for me.

I really like this. It's a wonderful perspective on how it's all just a game, and at the end of the day it's has to be a situation that works for both parties. The power exchange is just for playtime to me

 

[Lotus_Kitty]

A wise old Dom told me that a sub sets the destination, a good Dom chooses the route.

That is frikkin' brilliant! Maybe the BDSM forum section could have that as its banner? I am not kidding. Wise words.