What exactly turns you on about your wife or girlfriend being with another man? Past or Present?

[IronCross]

We never experienced it but oftentimes when she was on top of me I'd ask "Who's cock you ridin', babe ?" Usually she replied "Your's" but when she realized that I found the thought of her fucking another man to be a turn on for me, one time she replied "Who's do you want it to be ?" so I know she would have if we decided to pursue it.

As regards your question, for me it's knowing that she's indulging her sexual pleasure with another man and digging every minute of it. Her knowing that she was shamelessly being "bad" and revelling in it. Her pleasure was also my pleasure.

Some might agree, some might disagree, but I honestly believe that inside every woman, there's a "bad girl" craving release. Wanting to express her indulgent sexuality freely without judgement or constraint. A woman allowed and encouraged to indulge herself in bed is a woman who will show her man just how amazing she can be. I guess some guys prefer their women to be subservient, to each their own, but my preference is to let her express her sexuality in ways that please her and in so doing, that pleases me.

 

[Nellie60]

We never experienced it but oftentimes when she was on top of me I'd ask "Who's cock you ridin', babe ?" Usually she replied "Your's" but when she realized that I found the thought of her fucking another man to be a turn on for me, one time she replied "Who's do you want it to be ?" so I know she would have if we decided to pursue it.

As regards your question, for me it's knowing that she's indulging her sexual pleasure with another man and digging every minute of it. Her knowing that she was shamelessly being "bad" and revelling in it. Her pleasure was also my pleasure.

Some might agree, some might disagree, but I honestly believe that inside every woman, there's a "bad girl" craving release. Wanting to express her indulgent sexuality freely without judgement or constraint. A woman allowed and encouraged to indulge herself in bed is a woman who will show her man just how amazing she can be. I guess some guys prefer their women to be subservient, to each their own, but my preference is to let her express her sexuality in ways that please her and in so doing, that pleases me.

Nicely answered and so be it. Her pleasure is your pleasure but her pleasing is also your pleasure..

 

[Robert160]

Several things:

To watch her be cum inside at her risky time
To watch her cumming while being screwed (toe curling is her sign shes about to or cumming)
To jack off on her face while the guy screws her
To watch his cock twitch and pulse as it pumps his cum into her
To see her on her back, legs spread wide, tits moving back/fourth with every stroke
To hear her asking him to go easy as she struggles to accommodate his cock

 

[write_or_wrong]

We never experienced it but oftentimes when she was on top of me I'd ask "Who's cock you ridin', babe ?" Usually she replied "Your's" but when she realized that I found the thought of her fucking another man to be a turn on for me, one time she replied "Who's do you want it to be ?" so I know she would have if we decided to pursue it.

As regards your question, for me it's knowing that she's indulging her sexual pleasure with another man and digging every minute of it. Her knowing that she was shamelessly being "bad" and revelling in it. Her pleasure was also my pleasure.

Some might agree, some might disagree, but I honestly believe that inside every woman, there's a "bad girl" craving release. Wanting to express her indulgent sexuality freely without judgement or constraint. A woman allowed and encouraged to indulge herself in bed is a woman who will show her man just how amazing she can be. I guess some guys prefer their women to be subservient, to each their own, but my preference is to let her express her sexuality in ways that please her and in so doing, that pleases me.

Well said, thank you. I'm enjoying this thread, thank you Nellie60 for starting it.

One aspect that I still find to be counterintuitive: how can a husband have an urge to see or find out about his wife's infidelity, when so much of the animal kingdom behaves exactly the opposite? Males fight each other for mating rights. Alphas guard their females to prevent any other males from impregnating them. Sometimes a male bear will even kill the offspring from another male. Even the shape of some penises (including human) facilitates pumping out foreign semen. Some birds, and maybe other creatures, actually suck out any foreign sperm. Given all that aversion to anything related to infidelity in the animal world, why do some of us human males promote it and even celebrate it when it happens? (full disclosure: I'm right there with you guys who do.)

 

[Swuq]

Her being a cum slut for man that may a larger cock and her enjoying being used by him in ways she wouldn’t allow me.

 

[ladventures1]

I have only been with my husband since we were married, but he has told me he enjoys the fantasy of me with another man. Mainly, we roleplay about me
with my ex-lovers, but occasionally I will tell him about how I want to have sex with someone new. He says he likes to hear what turns me on outside of our relationship, and he loves hearing about times in my past when I dropped my inhibitions and did something because I was so turned on I couldn’t stop myself.

The moment he was turned on the most was at my brother’s wedding, when one of my brother’s groomsmen was dancing with me. My husband knew that years earlier, this guy had been the first man who ever came in my mouth. Watching him with his hands on me again, really got my husband excited. We still roleplay about it.

“What if he took you to a secluded room after the dance? Would you be on your knees again for him?”

 

[nutoseen]

There's lot of guys out there who write about their wives etc with other men. What exactly turns you on about it?

A fetish being realised? Actually watching her?
Knowing what she's really like and imagining her giving and receiving the same with someone else? Feeling submissive about it?

For me its sort of erotic knowing what she like and watching her let go the same way with another man. ie seeing her display what turns her on. And knowing that she very desirable to other men who now have the pleasure that I have experienced.

Cum on let me know!

my woman got to have others cock sizes; i found this/that hot. imagining her cum face with them. knowing how quick she cums as a different size slides in. so hot.

 

[Nellie60]

I have only been with my husband since we were married, but he has told me he enjoys the fantasy of me with another man. Mainly, we roleplay about me
with my ex-lovers, but occasionally I will tell him about how I want to have sex with someone new. He says he likes to hear what turns me on outside of our relationship, and he loves hearing about times in my past when I dropped my inhibitions and did something because I was so turned on I couldn’t stop myself.

The moment he was turned on the most was at my brother’s wedding, when one of my brother’s groomsmen was dancing with me. My husband knew that years earlier, this guy had been the first man who ever came in my mouth. Watching him with his hands on me again, really got my husband excited. We still roleplay about it.

“What if he took you to a secluded room after the dance? Would you be on your knees again for him?”

That's fricking hot. Do you tell your husband about other details? I can imagine the role-playing gets him off and for you the same? Or are just pleasing him?

 

[ladventures1]

That's fricking hot. Do you tell your husband about other details? I can imagine the role-playing gets him off and for you the same? Or are just pleasing him?

He likes it more than I do. I get excited at the start, when we are using the roleplay as foreplay. And I enjoy that it gets my husband excited. But sometimes, when we are deep into sex, and he says something like - “Is this the way your ex …?” - it breaks my mood.

At those moments, I feel close to my husband at and I don’t really want to think about something from years ago.

I have more fun with it when it is complete fantasy. When I tease my husband about someone who flirts with me, but who I have no real intimacy with. Then it feels like play. Sometimes it gets too real with past relationships.

 

[Nellie60]

He likes it more than I do. I get excited at the start, when we are using the roleplay as foreplay. And I enjoy that it gets my husband excited. But sometimes, when we are deep into sex, and he says something like - “Is this the way your ex …?” - it breaks my mood.

At those moments, I feel close to my husband at and I don’t really want to think about something from years ago.

I have more fun with it when it is complete fantasy. When I tease my husband about someone who flirts with me, but who I have no real intimacy with. Then it feels like play. Sometimes it gets too real with past relationships.

Thank you so much for the honest thoughts.

Completely understand when lovemaking you are focused on that person and it just spoils the moment.

But I am biased understanding what he's thinking. It turns him on knowing what you maybe like with other men and that men find you attractive based on the past and being able to role play that must be exciting for him.

And I can see the fantasy scenarios can be more exciting then the reality in those moments.

 

[write_or_wrong]

He likes it more than I do. I get excited at the start, when we are using the roleplay as foreplay. And I enjoy that it gets my husband excited. But sometimes, when we are deep into sex, and he says something like - “Is this the way your ex …?” - it breaks my mood.

At those moments, I feel close to my husband at and I don’t really want to think about something from years ago.

I have more fun with it when it is complete fantasy. When I tease my husband about someone who flirts with me, but who I have no real intimacy with. Then it feels like play. Sometimes it gets too real with past relationships.

Thank you! I'm a guy, so this will also be a self-indictment.

Your answer confirms something I finally learned after being with many ladies over my many years. Women make love with their hearts and minds, while men have sex with their dicks. Not everyone, and not all the time, but it's generally true. A man can't help thinking with (and about) his dick. It's in our wiring. From the moment we discover "that thing down there" we can't leave it alone and we can't stop thinking about what we might be able to do with it. Pretty soon our natural competitiveness leads us to think about the dicks other guys have. And that sets off the frantic search for the nearest ruler. Or, in this case, the experiences a woman we're with might have had with the penis attached to another guy.

I doubt there are very many women who ever wonder what another woman's pussy looks like. It's just not important to them because they're thinking much deeper than that. No woman has ever asked me if she was tighter than my ex was, or if she tasted better than my ex, or had more/less/better pubic hair, etc. It's just not a thing for ladies like it is for us guys.

 

[IronCross]

Well said, thank you. I'm enjoying this thread, thank you Nellie60 for starting it.

One aspect that I still find to be counterintuitive: how can a husband have an urge to see or find out about his wife's infidelity, when so much of the animal kingdom behaves exactly the opposite? Males fight each other for mating rights. Alphas guard their females to prevent any other males from impregnating them. Sometimes a male bear will even kill the offspring from another male. Even the shape of some penises (including human) facilitates pumping out foreign semen. Some birds, and maybe other creatures, actually suck out any foreign sperm. Given all that aversion to anything related to infidelity in the animal world, why do some of us human males promote it and even celebrate it when it happens? (full disclosure: I'm right there with you guys who do.)

I thank you also, Nellie60, for starting this thread.

write_or_wrong...........That's an excellent question and I'd be interested in knowing the answer with certainty, too, but can only guess. Placing we Humans off to the side for a moment, in the rest of the Animal Kingdom, their basic needs are simpler and looking to get what they need, it would seem that their primal intent is directly related to instinct ? Again, just a guess.

We have brains that are able to perceive "concepts" and that may be one reason, for better or worse, that Humankind comes up with concepts for pleasure and sometimes concepts for destruction. The possibilities are endless because we're so "special"...*ahem*......just one look at the news is very telling about just how special we are.........Anyways, that's my best guess but I'm sure there's deeper psychology involved to explain it more fully.

 

[write_or_wrong]

You make a valid point, IronCross. The scope of human brains means we aren't limited by the 'prime directive' to procreate, no matter what. We seem to follow several directives, some of which are hard to figure out. Which I guess brings us back to the OP's question "What exactly turns you on ..." I still don't know. Sorry if I steered us onto a detour.

 

[IronCross]

No apology needed at all. We humans have the ability to exercise "free will" and that applies in a huge variety of situations of course. To be honest, the practice of cuckholding wasn't something I ever thought of during any of my previous relationships before thiss last marriage. In my younger years, if the subject was even brought up, I'd probably have dismissed it with "Nah, not for me". Even in this past relationship, the idea of cuckholding actually caught me by surprise and it was in the latter part of being with her. While we were making love, the thought of her finding pleasure with another man, and that thought being fantasy in my head, it turned me on big time! I gradually brought it up during our dirty talk while having sex and she clearly was on the same page, so we frequently used that while role-playing. Can I explain "why" it turns me on ? For the reasons I offered previously might be considered the surface reasoning, but do I know the exact deeper reason "why" ? Nope. All I know is that it does and in a very big way.

 

[UtilityCurve]

I doubt there are very many women who ever wonder what another woman's pussy looks like. It's just not important to them because they're thinking much deeper than that. No woman has ever asked me if she was tighter than my ex was, or if she tasted better than my ex, or had more/less/better pubic hair, etc. It's just not a thing for ladies like it is for us guys.

Huh. Not every question every time, but my partners have ALWAYS inquired about exes attributes, practices and attitudes, well excepting one-nighters. Isn't that odd?

And it was a check for me about how I felt about each one. Truth could be upsetting, but truth-based is the only kind of LTR I ever wanted. So I could lie to the ones that I suspected weren't keepers and risked it all by telling it straight to the ones that I hoped were.

 

[OldnCurious]

I am not sure why it turns me on, but it does. The thought of another man having his way with my wife behind closed doors is a real thrill to think about. Just the though of his hands roaming all over her naked body is enough to get me off. I have brought this subject up with my wife over pillow talk. Occasionally she will talk about an old boyfriend from back in the day. I would think I would be jealous, but just the opposite.

 

[Justfantasies]

I love hearing my wife's stories in detail about old lovers. And her old pics too

 

[Greytruck]

The stories from my wife’s past still turn me on to no end.
Just that though if about her man in bed with her.
We actually swapped with another couple early in our marriage.
I watched another man toucher her, orally please her.
It was exciting but the same time I couldn’t help think is he better?

 

[Nellie60]

Thank you all for the contributions to this thread.

And the articulate thought provoking words fron Ironcross and Write or Wrong.

I broke it down like this...

You are aroused by hearing about or seeing your girlfriend's or wives past or current sexual history or stories.

Either you are turned on by thoughts of her being pleasured by another man eg maybe he's a better lover, bigger than you are, does things to her that you have not tried or couldn't, makes her orgasm until she's lost count...definitely a better lover! And other men finding her sexually attractive or just find her attractive.


Or you are aroused by the thought and imagination through her stories of her pleasuring him or you have watched her do just that. eg she gets really turned on, her goal is to satisfy him, her reactions to pleasuring him or stories of her being more the proactive partner leaving you gasping at the pleasure he was getting from her as you know what's she really like and that's is a pretty arousing thought.

I am sure its a combination of everything but most love to hear about her getting pleasured...am I correct on this?

But I also believe the jealous thought thing indirectly enhances the fantasy or imagination.

 

[MamaBitte]

... The thought of another man having his way with my wife behind closed doors is a real thrill to think about. ...

Don't know why, but this is one of my deepest desires too. Behind closed doors. Don't want to watch, maybe listen from outside the bedroom. In my fantasy it's not just sex but "making love". My wife knows about my desire but never did me the favor ...

 

[van_delay]

Always enjoyed meeting men who i knew had been inside my wife when she was younger. Would love to meet the man who took her virginity

 

[Seeking4wife04]

I love to hear about my girlfriends and wives exploits and exactly how it went down. I get a thrill a lot of that.

 

[Beachsyrf]

I was thinking about this topic and looked for this thread ….. as I’ve posted before, when I met my present, long-term gf she was coming out of a “passionless marriage”. She discovered her then husband had been cheating on her and that was it. She moved out, moved on and started making up for lost time …… her “Kid in a Candy Store” phase. I mean, she was hooking up with a lot of men.

Perhaps it was because we had just met, or I was “competing” for her, or it was just good, new, NSA sex for me, too ….. whatever; I didn’t mind. In fact, she was quite open about the fact that she occassionally needed to be incommunicado for a few days every now & then. No problem. I knew I’d be seeing her again and when we got back together, we’d have some serious, lustful sex.

One thing she shared with me was that at least a couple of these guys had smaller cocks than I and she loved having them fuck her ass. But plead as I might, she would never let me do that to her. Still to this day she won’t even let me try. I did try one time and and she became very upset with me ….. ended THAT session, pronto! ….. but I digress …..

From the outset, I was always intrigued and turned on by the fact notion of her sport-fucking. I just loved the idea of her pursuing and satisfying her carnal desires. And I was only too happy to participate. I would think about the dicks that had been in her pussy as I eagerly licked her to sloppy orgasms. I would watch the lustful look upon her face, in her eyes as I penetrated her and slid my cock in and out of her and imagine all the other cocks she had enjoyed.

Truth is, I think about that to this day, almost every time we have sex. Sometimes I’ll bring it up & we’ll talk about it while we’re fucking. I thrill to the idea that she might be thinking the same thoughts, although she denies having sexual fantasies or thinking of sexual things when we’re fucking (LIAR!!! … LOL!) and says she’s just enjoying how it feels ….

I’ve told her about my desire for her to indulge in and even pursue her fantasies but she won’t, or is reluctant to share them with me. (Yes, I do accept that she may actually be being honest about that, but I rather doubt it ….).

I have gifted her with several massages and at least one of those was with a masseur. Whether male or female, I take pleasure in knowing she is enjoying it and imagine what it could lead to. It doesn’t worry me or make me jealous that she is receiving physical pleasure at the hands of another. In fact, the one male massage I know of, I actually REQUESTED a masseur for her. Later, I asked her if she enjoyed it and she said she did. I teased her about whether she got a Happy Ending and she just rolled her eyes. I asked her if he was handsome or well-built, what he looked like. I asked if she’d noticed whether he got hard during the massage …. She down-played all of my inquiries but later, we did have great sex …. probably initiated by me and the visual fantasy I’D created.

The point is, the idea of HER sexual pleasure is a HUGE turn-on for me. I am certain I am a “Wannabe Stag” and she is my coveted Vixen. Last Christmas I actually bought her a holiday t-shirt with a reindeer image and “Vixen” written on it. I don’t think she’s made the connection ….. yet. I almost bought myself a “stag horns” image shirt, too but stopped short of that! Definitely not ready for the upside down pineapple shirt …..

I am comfortable with that and I know I’m not a “Cuckold” who desires humiliation. I definitely don’t. In fact, one of my fondest desires is to actually find a “Bull” with a smaller cock who might satisfy my desires and her longing for a nice, long ass-fucking. That is why I’d love to watch my gf (not wife) be with another man.

Sorry for the long, drawn-out post …..

 

[Shaglus_Ziegler]

I was thinking about this topic and looked for this thread ….. as I’ve posted before, when I met my present, long-term gf she was coming out of a “passionless marriage”. She discovered her then husband had been cheating on her and that was it. She moved out, moved on and started making up for lost time …… her “Kid in a Candy Store” phase. I mean, she was hooking up with a lot of men.

Perhaps it was because we had just met, or I was “competing” for her, or it was just good, new, NSA sex for me, too ….. whatever; I didn’t mind. In fact, she was quite open about the fact that she occassionally needed to be incommunicado for a few days every now & then. No problem. I knew I’d be seeing her again and when we got back together, we’d have some serious, lustful sex.

One thing she shared with me was that at least a couple of these guys had smaller cocks than I and she loved having them fuck her ass. But plead as I might, she would never let me do that to her. Still to this day she won’t even let me try. I did try one time and and she became very upset with me ….. ended THAT session, pronto! ….. but I digress …..

From the outset, I was always intrigued and turned on by the fact notion of her sport-fucking. I just loved the idea of her pursuing and satisfying her carnal desires. And I was only too happy to participate. I would think about the dicks that had been in her pussy as I eagerly licked her to sloppy orgasms. I would watch the lustful look upon her face, in her eyes as I penetrated her and slid my cock in and out of her and imagine all the other cocks she had enjoyed.

Truth is, I think about that to this day, almost every time we have sex. Sometimes I’ll bring it up & we’ll talk about it while we’re fucking. I thrill to the idea that she might be thinking the same thoughts, although she denies having sexual fantasies or thinking of sexual things when we’re fucking (LIAR!!! … LOL!) and says she’s just enjoying how it feels ….

I’ve told her about my desire for her to indulge in and even pursue her fantasies but she won’t, or is reluctant to share them with me. (Yes, I do accept that she may actually be being honest about that, but I rather doubt it ….).

I have gifted her with several massages and at least one of those was with a masseur. Whether male or female, I take pleasure in knowing she is enjoying it and imagine what it could lead to. It doesn’t worry me or make me jealous that she is receiving physical pleasure at the hands of another. In fact, the one male massage I know of, I actually REQUESTED a masseur for her. Later, I asked her if she enjoyed it and she said she did. I teased her about whether she got a Happy Ending and she just rolled her eyes. I asked her if he was handsome or well-built, what he looked like. I asked if she’d noticed whether he got hard during the massage …. She down-played all of my inquiries but later, we did have great sex …. probably initiated by me and the visual fantasy I’D created.

The point is, the idea of HER sexual pleasure is a HUGE turn-on for me. I am certain I am a “Wannabe Stag” and she is my coveted Vixen. Last Christmas I actually bought her a holiday t-shirt with a reindeer image and “Vixen” written on it. I don’t think she’s made the connection ….. yet. I almost bought myself a “stag horns” image shirt, too but stopped short of that! Definitely not ready for the upside down pineapple shirt …..

I am comfortable with that and I know I’m not a “Cuckold” who desires humiliation. I definitely don’t. In fact, one of my fondest desires is to actually find a “Bull” with a smaller cock who might satisfy my desires and her longing for a nice, long ass-fucking. That is why I’d love to watch my gf (not wife) be with another man.

Sorry for the long, drawn-out post …..

I’m in a very similar situation that is slowly opening. It’s wild, would love for my wife to feel totally free. Getting closer. Cheers.

 

[Beachsyrf]

In fact, one of my fondest desires is to actually find a “Bull” with a smaller cock who might satisfy my desires and her longing for a nice, long ass-fucking. That is why I’d love to watch my gf (not wife) be with another man.

I should add, I'd be very happy for her to enjoy a big fat one too ..... with a big mushroom head and heavy swinging balls that slap her ass as he's drilling her, Missionary-style ... ...