I tried something a lil different: The Devil’s Possession

[happyyy_]

Hi! Thanks in advance for any help

I published The Devil’s Possession for Halloween- it ended up releasing a bit after the holiday. Inspo struck me pretty late (two days before the holiday haha) so I probably should have held off posting to give it a better edit. But really, besides a few small things i would smooth out now I think it turned it ok. It is noncon, so I understand not everyone’s cup of tea

The rating is a little lower than my other stories. This story was an experiment for me: trying out writing first person POV for the first time, my first time writing a stroker, writing something non medieval for once, and something much darker than my usual stuff. So I am curious where it has fallen flat/where I need to improve.

I have a couple theories:

I am not sure if it’s because readers felt I didn’t deliver on the premise: a demon takes his unwilling bride on All Hallows Eve. I originally was planning a medieval story, something with a summoning circle, and a witch sacrifice (which I still might write). But I wanted to try first person POV and this story sort of just came together. I think I might have strayed too far from the original premise.

Is the writing a little too cringey at times? I think Mr. Demon calls Hannah a witch a little too often, definitely something I should have caught in an edit. I also tried to have fun with it, keeping some of the dialogue a little silly at times, (when she’s getting the Ouija board out) and I’m not sure if I failed to deliver on that. It is a little different from my usual writing style, so out of my comfort zone.

The twists: did they fall flat? Should I have fleshed them out better?

I think writing standalones/strokers in different genres and over different themes might be a good way to try and improve my writing. Thank you in advance for your thoughts!

 

[lovecraft68]

Linking it for you because folks here are lazy

https://www.literotica.com/s/the-devils-possession

I don't care for the NC category, so I'll pass on a read, but your score is above 4.6 which is pretty good. more so considering NC is, on average, not the highest scoring category, so it seems to be doing fine. Good luck with it.

 

[happyyy_]

Linking it for you because folks here are lazy

https://www.literotica.com/s/the-devils-possession

Oh sorry, thank you! How did I forget that
It started at 4.2 and has been hovering between 4.5-4.6. I am not sure if the rating has stabilized now (I think we’re past 50 votes). I don’t care all that much about the rating, but it did get me thinking that maybe the things I was trying out didn’t work as well I was hoping.

 

[sophism]

Ooh I actually read your story when it was first published and really liked it! (Among your other works, which I just realized I've also read)
I thought the ouija board portion was pretty funny myself. I chuckled at it in my head.
I remember being a little confused about her belonging to him/his world. Maybe there was more context to it in your head, but it felt as if it wasn't explained much and as a reader I was curious about it.

 

[sophism]

I do think that sometimes the rating in NC/R is a crapshoot. There are a lot of readers in that category that have different ideas about what is appropriate for it. I once had someone comment upset that there was nonconsensual sexual activity in my story

 

[happyyy_]

I remember being a little confused about her belonging to him/his world. Maybe there was more context to it in your head, but it felt as if it wasn't explained much and as a reader I was curious about it.

Thank you! I think one thing I really struggle with is always providing enough explanation/context. Its hard to know what will be subtle VS just confusing. I am not very good at walking that line haha. I wanted it to be sort of open for interpretation. I think it might have worked better in a hard fantasy setting, instead of modern day. Something I will have to think about more, thank you!