Hugs and random non-sex chat aka Our Court aka Hoes and Bros who empower each other

[DeeDeeX2]

Okay, I'll try.

I came up with a bunch for work, which I suspect a lot of people have, lol.

But the one I want to work on is hard for me to articulate. It's based on the feeling that I'm not good at relationships. Of course, that's a pretty big umbrella, so I've been trying to narrow it down.

The one I'd like to address is that I'm such a people-pleaser by nature that I lose track of myself. This, in turn, makes me feel like I don't know how to be truly intimate, because you have to know yourself to give yourself to someone.

Makes me feel crazy sometimes.

So, my self talk is to believe in myself, and stop trying to please.

Holy shit, that was way TMI.

Oh @HollyS , I appreciate your statement about the difficulty in expressing your dilemma about people pleasing and intimacy. It's obvious you've put a lot of thought into this over time. You deserve credit for speaking about this publicly, and that makes you brave in my book.

I've struggled with issues similar to yours for most of my life and have been severely heartbroken more than once. At one point, I felt my heart had been ripped out of my soul and I vowed not to let that happen again. I was in a dark place, but over time my vow softened and I feel at peace with my life.

I don't feel qualified to give you any relationship advice. There might be some deep seated fears lurking within you, but only you know about that. But I can tell from your postings that you are a kind, articulate, thoughtful, fun loving, stylish, intelligent, witty, responsible, curious, and friendly person. These are indeed noble attributes and the world is a better place because you are here.

DeeDee

 

[Boat1]

Hallooooo!!

How are the courtiers today?

I think I thought of something for the Queen's challenge, but I'll wait til more people are around, I think. Or I might keep it to myself?!? IDK!

Back to the lab for your trusty Alchemist. Still more whine than gold at hand!

I'm hoping you share it with us... Maybe I can better myself, vicariously, through you!

 

[Boat1]

Oh @HollyS , I appreciate your statement about the difficulty in expressing your dilemma about people pleasing and intimacy. It's obvious you've put a lot of thought into this over time. You deserve credit for speaking about this publicly, and that makes you brave in my book.

I've struggled with issues similar to yours for most of my life and have been severely heartbroken more than once. At one point, I felt my heart had been ripped out of my soul and I vowed not to let that happen again. I was in a dark place, but over time my vow softened and I feel at peace with my life.

I don't feel qualified to give you any relationship advice. There might be some deep seated fears lurking within you, but only you know about that. But I can tell from your postings that you are a kind, articulate, thoughtful, fun loving, stylish, intelligent, witty, responsible, curious, and friendly person. These are indeed noble attributes and the world is a better place because you are here.

DeeDee

I second and agree with EVERY SINGLE THING you said...
I'll also add that all of those fine qualities are fully applicable to you as well, DeeDee!

 

[MiaBabe23]

Hallooooo!!

How are the courtiers today?

I think I thought of something for the Queen's challenge, but I'll wait til more people are around, I think. Or I might keep it to myself?!? IDK!

Back to the lab for your trusty Alchemist. Still more whine than gold at hand!

Ooh do share with us, trusty Alchemist!

 

[MiaBabe23]

Just got back from work. The positive self-talk seemed to have worked for me so I'm pretty happy about that, although I'm absolutely exhausted. It's been one hell of a day

That’s fantastic!

 

[Boat1]

Okay, I'll try.

I came up with a bunch for work, which I suspect a lot of people have, lol.

But the one I want to work on is hard for me to articulate. It's based on the feeling that I'm not good at relationships. Of course, that's a pretty big umbrella, so I've been trying to narrow it down.

The one I'd like to address is that I'm such a people-pleaser by nature that I lose track of myself. This, in turn, makes me feel like I don't know how to be truly intimate, because you have to know yourself to give yourself to someone.

Makes me feel crazy sometimes.

So, my self talk is to believe in myself, and stop trying to please.

Holy shit, that was way TMI.

I just found this post... I'm running through my ass, busy today, but I will find an old post or two of mine to share my "unsolicited two cents" with you, regarding a similar phase of life I went through...
Nothing but love and Kudos for you from me, Holly!

 

[MiaBabe23]

Okay, I'll try.

I came up with a bunch for work, which I suspect a lot of people have, lol.

But the one I want to work on is hard for me to articulate. It's based on the feeling that I'm not good at relationships. Of course, that's a pretty big umbrella, so I've been trying to narrow it down.

The one I'd like to address is that I'm such a people-pleaser by nature that I lose track of myself. This, in turn, makes me feel like I don't know how to be truly intimate, because you have to know yourself to give yourself to someone.

Makes me feel crazy sometimes.

So, my self talk is to believe in myself, and stop trying to please.

Holy shit, that was way TMI.

That’s a really great goal, Holly, and such great self-awareness
Hope you feel more confident and comfortable being you!

 

[MiaBabe23]

oh yeah, i definitely agree. its often a lot easier said than done. but i feel like when other people mirror that positive energy and can empathize it creates an environment to slowly make those changes. you got this. i mean, im constantly trying, @MiaBabe23 gets frustrated with me on at least a daily basis because i won't submit .

* smirks * If you don’t want to know the joy of that submission, only you who loses out, wavering Guardsman

 

[Boat1]

* smirks * If you don’t want to know the joy of that submission, only you who loses out, wavering Guardsman

I couldn't have said it better myself!

 

[TXRafe]

* smirks * If you don’t want to know the joy of that submission, only you who loses out, wavering Guardsman

this feels more like a veiled threat to me

 

[Boat1]

this feels more like a veiled threat to me

...it could be a veiled ticket to paradise!

 

[HollyS]

this feels more like a veiled threat to me

Are you saying, "Don't threaten me with a good time?!?" Lol

You really don't know what you're missing, having experienced both.

 

[TXRafe]

Are you saying, "Don't threaten me with a good time?!?" Lol

You really don't know what you're missing, having experienced both.

im just no fun apparently, haha. although, i certainly enjoy a good time. i think there is just a lot of hang ups on my part that wouldnt allow me to enjoy it.

 

[MiaBabe23]

Are you saying, "Don't threaten me with a good time?!?" Lol

You really don't know what you're missing, having experienced both.

 

[MiaBabe23]

im just no fun apparently, haha. although, i certainly enjoy a good time. i think there is just a lot of hang ups on my part that wouldnt allow me to enjoy it.

I’m just teasing, of course
But I would say I never would have imagined doing so myself, but when you come across the person who just does something to you… * shivers and sighs *

 

[TXRafe]

I’m just teasing, of course
But I would say I never would have imagined doing so myself, but when you come across the person who just does something to you… * shivers and sighs *

i have no doubt, connection is everything, chemistry can mean so much...just one of those things that is engrained in me, like sexuality.

 

[Boat1]

I’m just teasing, of course
But I would say I never would have imagined doing so myself, but when you come across the person who just does something to you… * shivers and sighs *

^^^^THIS!^^^^

 

[Boat1]

i have no doubt, connection is everything, chemistry can mean so much...just one of those things that is engrained in me, like sexuality.

You know I'm just razzin' ya!
I respect your take on things!

 

[HollyS]

i have no doubt, connection is everything, chemistry can mean so much...just one of those things that is engrained in me, like sexuality.

I'm teasing too, and I would never try to talk someone into something. (Ignore that part - it's a total lie!) But anyway -
I find one of the most exquisite parts of submitting is facing those hangups with someone you trust and feel chemistry with. Facing your fears, so to speak, with a loving guide.

 

[MiaBabe23]

I'm teasing too, and I would never try to talk someone into something. (Ignore that part - it's a total lie!) But anyway -
I find one of the most exquisite parts of submitting is facing those hangups with someone you trust and feel chemistry with. Facing your fears, so to speak, with a loving guide.

Yes!! Exactly that. Letting yourself feel free enough to explore and really discover them and also yourself

 

[TXRafe]

oh i know all those things, ive felt all those things...its difficult for me to explain...the best i can explain is that although people LOVE cheeseburgers and i can appreciate that they LOVE cheeseburgers, i will always eat my hamburgers without cheese and without sauce. its just what i like. the idea of eating a cheeseburger doesnt appeal to me at all even if every other person in the world loves them.

I'm teasing too, and I would never try to talk someone into something. (Ignore that part - it's a total lie!) But anyway -
I find one of the most exquisite parts of submitting is facing those hangups with someone you trust and feel chemistry with. Facing your fears, so to speak, with a loving guide.

 

[Boat1]

I'm teasing too, and I would never try to talk someone into something. (Ignore that part - it's a total lie!) But anyway -
I find one of the most exquisite parts of submitting is facing those hangups with someone you trust and feel chemistry with. Facing your fears, so to speak, with a loving guide.

VERY well said!

 

[MiaBabe23]

* shifting in my beanbag throne, wondering how the temperature seems so warm all of a sudden * I’m okay… just feeling a little… flustered, is all

 

[HollyS]

* shifting in my beanbag throne, wondering how the temperature seems so warm all of a sudden * I’m okay… just feeling a little… flustered, is all

Mmmhmmm. It's been cold here all day, but it IS warm suddenly!

 

[TXRafe]

* shifting in my beanbag throne, wondering how the temperature seems so warm all of a sudden * I’m okay… just feeling a little… flustered, is all

Mmmhmmm. It's been cold here all day, but it IS warm suddenly!

sits in the corner quietly but intently watching to see where this goes...