To spice up the things in bed, what is the first question to be done?

[aziegmann]

One night, during sex, and after I asked my wife to imagine as if there were more than one tongue and two hands touching her tits and arousing her, she told me about a dream she had two years ago, involving both of us with another couple in bed. It was really hot for me to hear something like that. At the same time, we are 100% newbies on doing things like that. Our sex is good, but not kinky, you know?

But my main challenge here is still about how to bring up this conversation naturally. What is the first special question to be done in order to sharevour fantasies and spice the things up, but not doing as if I am forcing her?

If you remember how did start this conversation and which question you used, any tip here is welcome. For the ladies, if you’re shy, but would like to help me with some advice, feel free to send me a private message.

 

[Britva415]

But my main challenge here is still about how to bring up this conversation naturally. What is the first special question to be done in order to sharevour fantasies and spice the things up, but not doing as if I am forcing her?

Just talk.

There is no magic secret formula, no special question. Maybe start with "Hey, you remember we talked about that dream you had?" Just break the ice and then just say what's on your mind.

She'll let you know if she's into it or not. Pay attention to what she says. If she's not, then drop it. That's how you not doing as if forcing her.

I hope your idea about the "magic question" isn't based on the idea that there's some magic way to do it which will prevent you from getting rejected. That's not realistic. Maybe she'll reject it, maybe she won't, but the way you word it isn't what's going to make her agree.

So just dare to talk.

 

[Sweetdreams71]

Sent you a PM

 

[aziegmann]

I hope your idea about the "magic question" isn't based on the idea that there's some magic way to do it which will prevent you from getting rejected.

It's definitely not that idea. When I refer to what I call the "magic question" to open this subject, it is in the sense of doing so without making the situation embarrassing for both of us.

As I said before, we are a little “vanilla”. We have good sex, but we haven't progressed yet to anything bold in terms of fantasies, kinks, etc. I hope it’s just a matter of time.

 

[magic_rat]

Just talk. Pillow talk can be tremendous. Maybe remind her of the dream, or tell her about one that you had (make one up if necessary). Give her a massage, tell her to close her eyes and imagine it's someone else.

You know her better than we do. You know what'll work.

 

[Desiretaboo]

One night, during sex, and after I asked my wife to imagine as if there were more than one tongue and two hands touching her tits and arousing her, she told me about a dream she had two years ago, involving both of us with another couple in bed. It was really hot for me to hear something like that. At the same time, we are 100% newbies on doing things like that. Our sex is good, but not kinky, you know?

But my main challenge here is still about how to bring up this conversation naturally. What is the first special question to be done in order to sharevour fantasies and spice the things up, but not doing as if I am forcing her?

If you remember how did start this conversation and which question you used, any tip here is welcome. For the ladies, if you’re shy, but would like to help me with some advice, feel free to send me a private message.

I told my wife a lil fib in bed after a party. I told her that a friend had jokingly said he wanted to play a trick and sneak into bed with us and that he had always had a fantasy about her... To my surprise she admitted that she was a little curious and turned on by the idea.. that night was the start of super hot sex and fantasy talk.. i never knew this side of her before.. we slowly progressed and eventually it happened naturally

 

[Lucy_Lastic]

I like pillow talk. I like sharing fantasies.

 

[Deleted member 5428187]

For me, the power of sex is much more between the ears than between the legs. So the mental aspect, especially talk that creates an atmosphere and mood, is huge. I personally love hearing about fantasies and past experiences, but if I want to know the kind of talk she likes, I have to care enough to ask.

 

[UtilityCurve]

For me, the power of sex is much more between the ears than between the legs. So the mental aspect, especially talk that creates an atmosphere and mood, is huge. I personally love hearing about fantasies and past experiences, but if I want to know the kind of talk she likes, I have to care enough to ask.

Aural sex is tragically underrated.

 

[LookN2Talk]

Aural sex is tragically underrated.

You are totally correct!

 

[darkride]

I am pretty sure I started with dirty talk during sex.... and then started asking if any of the things that I / we talked about during sex, where things she would ever consider actually doing.

My main concern was not wanting her to feel pressured... just because I'd spent my teen years dreaming about all kinds of fantasies, didn't mean she had, and would be interested.

There was some things she did admit to being curious about, some she really "couldn't understand", and but for her, the main issue was that she felt I was only wanting to explore with "others" because I wanted to have sex with another woman - so if I talked her into having sex with a guy, then - wham - I could insist on getting to be with another woman.

So, talking, and trust, really are the only magic involved...

 

[Kimlikes]

My then boyfriend now husband was a nudist , if I wanted to spend time with him he was nude , he never even ask me to undress, I was left feeling like a prude. After a month or he asked me if I wanted to have dinner with an older couple that were longtime friends , he did warn me that they were nudist and he would join them , while we visited. T lest I trimmed my bush (1980s lol) . They were a a very nice couple , and sexy as well so in 30 minutes I was naked with strangers, no sexual motive. Thought the wife did mention as we were in the kitchen that her husband liked me , she knods towards him and I noticed his more than semi erection lol . She laughed and wispers take it as a compliment lol

 

[Mrs_and_mr]

I just ask if there’s anything they want to try, which alway leads them to ask the same question.