Cock Talk

[Wand3rlust]

Then I am truly sad for them.

Fuck them, I'm sad for me.

 

[lavendersilk]

Sex during menstruation generally needs to be a bit different. I’m not squeamish, but I’m not going full Saltburn either.

I didn't need to remember that scene. *goes and watches the ending*

 

[Ricardus]

That's why sex and orgasm when you are menstruating is so good. I always enjoyed it.

Some men are so squeamishly pathetic.

I have had partners who found it helped cramps, and ones who found it exacerbated them, plus one or two (briefly) who didn't know because they were so squeamish about it themselves that they had never tried.

With those, I always felt bad that I couldn't help them in the way that seemed most natural to me, but the former always seemed to have had bad experiences in the past with squeamish partners. I never understood how such a normal healthy part of being a woman could make a man not want to be intimate with her.

 

[lavendersilk]

I have had partners who found it helped cramps, and ones who found it exacerbated them, plus one or two (briefly) who didn't know because they were so squeamish about it themselves that they had never tried.

With those, I always felt bad that I couldn't help them in the way that seemed most natural to me, but the former always seemed to have had bad experiences in the past with squeamish partners. I never understood how such a normal healthy part of being a woman could make a man not want to be intimate with her.

Not all girls want to have sex on their period. Sometimes just snuggling in bed with a heating pad is fun.

 

[Wand3rlust]

Sex during menstruation generally needs to be a bit different. I’m not squeamish, but I’m not going full Saltburn either.

It’s definitely not off the agenda though and I’m not put off by it at all.

I've not seen it.

For me, I get that. I may not agree, but I get it.

 

[justanotherguy80]

I've not seen it.

For me, I get that. I may not agree, but I get it.

I’ve been telling you to watch it for months now!

I’ve been with women who are more horny when they’re on their period and those who say it’s when they feel the least sexy.

I guess it’s like a lot of things and there’s no right or wrong answer. Just listen to your partner and figure out what works for you both.

 

[Ricardus]

Not all girls want to have sex on their period. Sometimes just snuggling in bed with a heating pad is fun.

Oh, sure. If she simply isn't feeling it, that's a different thing, and there is never a time I am not happy to cuddle. The part I don't get is being repulsed by a normal part of a woman's body and sexuality.

 

[Wand3rlust]

I’ve been telling you to watch it for months now!

I’ve been with women who are more horny when they’re on their period and those who say it’s when they feel the least sexy.

I guess it’s like a lot of things and there’s no right or wrong answer. Just listen to your partner and figure out what works for you both.

Of course. Horses for courses and all that.

I have always been - I've got a headache. Orgasm will help. Period cramps, orgasm will help... even if you need to be more gentle with sex etc... but .. it can still feel good. But that's me.

 

[Ricardus]

Of course. Horses for courses and all that.

I have always been - I've got a headache. Orgasm will help. Period cramps, orgasm will help... even if you need to be more gentle with sex etc... but .. it can still feel good. But that's me.

Sounds like a fine approach!

And yes, it seems if she has been cramping badly, I've needed to take her more gently, at least for some time, or it could be too uncomfortable otherwise for her to enjoy and get where she needed to go. But that's hardly a problem

 

[hotoldrguy]

By now, everyone knows about 'shrinkage'. A dip in a cold pool does make a cock shrink down to its tiniest as well as make the scrotum pull up tight against (into?) the body. Guys, let's say you jumped right out of a chilly pool and onto a room temperature mattress in a quiet and private room. Compared to, say, right after a hot shower, would it take a lot longer to go from zero to ejaculation if you decided to masturbate? Does it take a while to get that thing working again?

Takes a couple more minutes to get going.

 

[Photog1rl]

These are interesting. I have known people for whom that was true and others for whom they made it worse.

I can only speak from personal experience.

That's an interesting thought. So if you're in a situation where you can't release yourself, you'll sometimes make a point of talking to a friend online who can, and use that to intensify your own need for later?

Yes. I consider myself a pleasure seeker. While an orgasm is the end goal it does not need to be mine. Also, I love to edge and let things build. If the situation does not allow for me to have an orgasm I willl work to get a partner there.

If that's the case, that means you have the basic opportunity at least once a day, hopefully

The point here was that if I want to orgasm but couldn't taking a cold shower wouldn't help because then I could just play and cum in the shower.

This is so strange to me. I can't imagine leaving a partner in that state and not feeling a deep need to take care of her myself. In this scenario, he is still there, so there hasn't been some sudden emergency he had to deal with.

So it may just be that this is a sensitive topic for me but it does no good and actually feels kind of shitty to have someone say they can't
imagine it. You don't have to imagine it and unfortunately I don't either. It is a lived experience.

So first, I can't think why I couldn't take care of her myself, given that we've just been having sex. But if there were some reason, how could you not even be involved?

We used to have a very satisfying sex life where we both cared about each others pleasure. That is not always the case now. If he is only focused on his pleasure I don't want him involved.

Are you saying he just rolls over and leaves you to get on with it, laying next to you but not even paying attention, talking to you, anything?

Yep. That is what I am saying. And yep it feels as fucked up and shitty as it sounds.

I can get not hiding that but at the same time, it just seems so surreal to be masturbating in the same room as someone who knows what you're doing and is ignoring it.

Why the heck should I hide or leave my space because he doesn't care or I don't want him involved.

I want to take the time to address something that is bothering me. Again, I know this is a sensitive topic for me and I have chosen to share but your comments, about me and others, feel slightly judgemental and or
mansplainy. I don't think you mean them to but please remember there are real people sharing openly and honestly on the other side of the screen.

 

[Deleted member 6568729]

@Indie can confirm. She said my vag is tiny like my nipples

It's just so... so...petite

 

[justanotherguy80]

I have always been - I've got a headache. Orgasm will help. Period cramps, orgasm will help... even if you need to be more gentle with sex etc... but .. it can still feel good. But that's me.

I’m picking up on a theme here…

 

[hotoldrguy]

I can only speak from personal experience.

Yes. I consider myself a pleasure seeker. While an orgasm is the end goal it does not need to be mine. Also, I love to edge and let things build. If the situation does not allow for me to have an orgasm I willl work to get a partner there.

The point here was that if I want to orgasm but couldn't taking a cold shower wouldn't help because then I could just play and cum in the shower.

So it may just be that this is a sensitive topic for me but it does no good and actually feels kind of shitty to have someone say they can't
imagine it. You don't have to imagine it and unfortunately I don't either. It is a lived experience.

We used to have a very satisfying sex life where we both cared about each others pleasure. That is not always the case now. If he is only focused on his pleasure I don't want him involved.

Yep. That is what I am saying. And yep it feels as fucked up and shitty as it sounds.

Why the fuck should I hide or leave my space because he doesn't care or I don't want him involved.

I want to take the time to address something that is bothering me. Again, I know this is a sensitive topic for me and I have chosen to share but your comments, about me and others, feel slightly judgemental and or
mansplainy. I don't think you mean them to but please remember there are real people sharing openly and honestly on the other side of the screen.

I can tell this is a sensitive subject for you. Thank you for sharing.

 

[RosewoodTulip]

Not all girls want to have sex on their period. Sometimes just snuggling in bed with a heating pad is fun.

For me it's timing.
Before I got the coil fitted I had horrendous periods. Like almost two weeks of misery. Add the week of headaches, mood swings and bloating beforehand and I was the spokeswoman for "not tonight dear"
But after the first few days were done sex could feel amazing and, despite his many, many faults, my ex never had an issue with squeamishness.

Now, thankfully, that horror show is over and orgasms and even just masturbating without finishing can do wonders for pain relief but not on the first day. That's a hands off zone.

 

[Photog1rl]

I can tell this is a sensitive subject for you. Thank you for sharing.

Thank you. I think we all are vulnerable when we share but that sharing helps us all learn. It is, of course, a sensitive subject and I knowingly chose to share.
This is not a woe-is-me post. It is just a reminder that we are all missing something. For me, I look at why folks are on Lit and it is almost always to fill a void of some kind. My reasons have changed while I’ve been here but they are not uniquely mine. I choose to share so we can all feel comfortable opening up.

 

[Dionysian Beast]

Thank you. I think we all are vulnerable when we share but that sharing helps us all learn. It is, of course, a sensitive subject and I knowingly chose to share.
This is not a woe-is-me post. It is just a reminder that we are all missing something. For me, I look at why folks are on Lit and it is almost always to fill a void of some kind. My reasons have changed while I’ve been here but they are not uniquely mine. I choose to share so we can all feel comfortable opening up.

I just wanted to say that I read your posts here and you did the brave thing by sharing your vulnerability and clear feelings. And you were right by saying that the response you received came across as judgmental and negative.
So thanks for sharing all this, your feelings are quite valid and you are seen.

 

[Apisto42]

All horned up and no place to blow
https://64.media.tumblr.com/77a6a86f556bd69d446e49e828cc735c/6e91356937d3c44e-79/s540x810/76c925479bee7468349f99e53301c47a829beb2b.jpg

Nice. Scoot that ass forward and breakfast lunch and dinner is served.

According to some research, a man needs to blow his wad on a regular basis to keep a happy, shiny, good-as-new prostate. But is there a female equivalent to this? Is there a specific physical benefit to a female orgasm?

No clue, but orgasms are great for mental health no matter what your danglies are.

How often do you need to orgasm to stay normal?

At least a few times a week. I get very cranky and generally out of sorts if not frequent enough.

When you can’t orgasm due to circumstances, do you have a go-to method of dealing with it?

I’m a whiny bitch.

Do cold showers work?

No.

Are your orgasms generally more intense when masturbating or having sex?

Usually sex. But if I have time and some good reading material and edge that peak? Solo can be really intense.

If in a sexless relationship, do you masturbate on the sly, or just go to town on yourself in the bed next to your partner?

NA. Though it’s been a while for medical reasons, so I’ve just taken care of it on the sly.

Do you masturbate in the same position every time, or do you mix it up?

Usually just the same, but variety is nice. Switching hands is always novel, but doesn’t get me off.

Have you ever masturbated in nature?

Hell yeah. One with nature indeed.

Are you too reliant on masturbation?

Nope.

From the Harvard Ejaculation Study:

“The scientists found no evidence that frequent ejaculations mark an increased risk of prostate cancer. In fact, the reverse was true: High ejaculation frequency was linked to a decreased risk. Compared to men who reported 4–7 ejaculations per month across their lifetimes, men who ejaculated 21 or more times a month enjoyed a 31% lower risk of prostate cancer. And the results held up to rigorous statistical evaluation even after other lifestyle factors and the frequency of PSA testing were taken into account.”

Hell yeah. I should be good to go.

 

[AngelicaS1780]

According to some research, a man needs to blow his wad on a regular basis to keep a happy, shiny, good-as-new prostate. But is there a female equivalent to this? Is there a specific physical benefit to a female orgasm?

I did a quick PubMed search for "physical benefits to female orgasm". No luck there. It was mostly articles on treatments for women with "sexual dysfunction".

How often do you need to orgasm to stay normal?

It depends on my mood. When I'm feeling good, at least several times a week if not daily. If I'm depressed or anxious, I might not be interested at all.

When you can’t orgasm due to circumstances, do you have a go-to method of dealing with it?

I guess it depends on the circumstances. And what is meant by "can't orgasm". If the circumstance is intermittent anorgasmia due to medication side effects and I can't reach an orgasm, I try to focus on the pleasure I experienced throughout the situation and not hold orgasm up as the end all be all reason for sexual touch. If I am messaging with someone and can't orgasm because my husband is working from home, I let that need and desire simmer for when I can.

Do cold showers work?

I've never tried this myself, but wouldn't think so.

Are your orgasms generally more intense when masturbating or having sex?

Generally, when masturbating... which comprises the vast majority of my sex life.

If in a sexless relationship, do you masturbate on the sly, or just go to town on yourself in the bed next to your partner?

I don't hide the fact that I masturbate, but I tend to prefer doing it when I'm home alone or he's gone to bed for the night.

Do you masturbate in the same position every time, or do you mix it up?

Usually the same general position, unless I'm told to do otherwise. I'm much more creative with a partner. I suppose I should give myself the same consideration.

Have you ever masturbated in nature?

Yes, but it's been ages.

Are you too reliant on masturbation?

Probably, but my options at the moment are a bit limited.

 

[Bbl87]

[
According to some research, a man needs to blow his wad on a regular basis to keep a happy, shiny, good-as-new prostate. But is there a female equivalent to this? Is there a specific physical benefit to a female orgasm?

I won't claim to know, but I'm sure regular orgasms are good for mental health.

How often do you need to orgasm to stay normal?

Almost daily. I used to be daily or multiple times a day, but that has fluctuated a waned a little bit lately. Don't know if it's meds, mental health, stress, etc.. Still often, just not quite as urgent.

When you can’t orgasm due to circumstances, do you have a go-to method of dealing with it?

Distract myself with my hobbies.

Do cold showers work?

Never tried one for that.

Are your orgasms generally more intense when masturbating or having sex?

Usually having sex. However, I've found if I'm recording something for a friend it is more intense. And even moreso if someone is watching and/or participating live.

If in a sexless relationship, do you masturbate on the sly, or just go to town on yourself in the bed next to your partner?

I do it on the sly. Usually before she comes to bed, but sometimes when she's next to me.

Do you masturbate in the same position every time, or do you mix it up?

Usually, I don't require much creativity there, haha.

Have you ever masturbated in nature?

Not that I can recall.

Are you too reliant on masturbation?

More than I want to be for sure. But I really don't have another option. Especially with her thinking she might be going through perimenopause, I might end up even more reliant on it.

Both. I will often masturbate after sex because I didn’t orgasm during. Sometimes he wants to be involved but usually I am on my own. Why hide that.

Same position if I’m using a toy and solo . If I’m being directed or playing with an online partner the position and activity can vary.

Same on both of these.

Though I'm told to make sure I cum first because she "won't have the energy" so it kinda makes it my fault. Though I will say, at least the last few times, we have been able to keep going long enough for me to finish, so maybe she's turning over a new leaf.

 

[LadyLascivious1]

Orgasms help with cramp relief and I believe headache but now I’m intrigued. There must be more reasons.

They only temporarily help me with cramps and I find they come back stronger not long afterwards. So I usually take pain meds, then orgasm. Order of operations is very important

And they make my migraines WAY worse, so that’s my hard pass when it comes to orgasm willingness.

Plus, I'm not an angsty bitch if I get them regularly.

Yes, this is the primary benefit for me

Last year my spouse came home from his urologist with a prescription for bi-weekly orgasms. Best script I've ever seen!

Please tell me this was a written prescription! And that you framed it. Or made it part of your holiday card updates.

I’m only a tiny bit kidding

Of course. Horses for courses and all that.

I have always been - I've got a headache. Orgasm will help. Period cramps, orgasm will help... even if you need to be more gentle with sex etc... but .. it can still feel good. But that's me.

So orgasms are your Windex?


As far as a “go to” health aid, it’s the best I’ve heard of

 

[LadyLascivious1]

Not all girls want to have sex on their period. Sometimes just snuggling in bed with a heating pad is fun.

If I’m in a lot of pain or really sick (period or otherwise), I’m not in the mood for sex, solo or partnered. I just want to be left alone.

If I’m not feeling like death, then I admit I don’t necessarily want to deal with the mess of period sex. Oh, I’ve thrown towels down or taken it to the shower and not thought anything of it, but my preferred approach is just anal sex instead. I enjoy the variety

Some men are so squeamishly pathetic.

I’ve thankfully not come across many in this camp. If I was in the mood to fuck and they refused because I had my period? It would be a very short lived relationship. I mean, I’m not expecting oral sex, but there are plenty of ways to enjoy not messy period sex.

 

[Wand3rlust]

To be fair, some women are squeamish about it as well.

 

[Bbl87]

To be fair, some women are squeamish about it as well.

Ya, my wife is a hard pass. I think we've done it maybe twice, and both times were because she was uncontrollably horny. I need to figure out the secret to that...

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I can only speak from personal experience.

Yes. I consider myself a pleasure seeker. While an orgasm is the end goal it does not need to be mine. Also, I love to edge and let things build. If the situation does not allow for me to have an orgasm I willl work to get a partner there.

The point here was that if I want to orgasm but couldn't taking a cold shower wouldn't help because then I could just play and cum in the shower.

So it may just be that this is a sensitive topic for me but it does no good and actually feels kind of shitty to have someone say they can't
imagine it. You don't have to imagine it and unfortunately I don't either. It is a lived experience.

We used to have a very satisfying sex life where we both cared about each others pleasure. That is not always the case now. If he is only focused on his pleasure I don't want him involved.

Yep. That is what I am saying. And yep it feels as fucked up and shitty as it sounds.

Why the heck should I hide or leave my space because he doesn't care or I don't want him involved.

I want to take the time to address something that is bothering me. Again, I know this is a sensitive topic for me and I have chosen to share but your comments, about me and others, feel slightly judgemental and or
mansplainy. I don't think you mean them to but please remember there are real people sharing openly and honestly on the other side of the screen.

I love you, lady

These discussions have left me in equal states of "yuck" and rage this morning.

I see you and share your pain