Does your significant other know?

[live4thebj]

My fiancé is the complete opposite of me when it comes to sex. I have a fetish and I honestly think she doesn’t.

I been writing off and on for a few years but with the change of job she is around me majority of time unlike prior where I was alone most of the time.

Now I can only write pieces at a time in secret. She wouldn’t understand probably be bothered what turns me on the most.

Anyone else hides this hobby from your significant other?

 

[StillStunned]

I write about half my stories for my wife. She's the one who said I ought to publish them here.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

No - they're glad I can sit on my phone for hours and not be bored when I have to do certain things. The spouse would like me to place in another contest so we can shop on Amazon!

That said, he's also 99.7% straight and not interested in much of my content here, but he did like the one story starring him. His opinion of the rest is "you're weird, you are" - but he knew that already!

 

[ukfdivorced]

My gf loves reading some of the posts and messages with me

 

[StillStunned]

His opinion of the rest is "you're weird, you are" - but he knew that already!

I get a lot of that too. "One Orgasm At A Time" was beyond "weird" - the redhead called it stupid.

 

[Erozetta]

My husband reads most of mine.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Anyone else hides this hobby from your significant other?

Yes, completely hidden.

 

[live4thebj]

Yes, completely hidden.

Glad I am not alone.

 

[SimonDoom]

I can sympathize with the OP because for a long time I was in a relationship with someone much less kinky than I was. I wasn't writing stories then, and didn't start until well after that relationship was finished. But I went through a long period of frequenting erotic story sites and reading stories without telling her. I'm sure she would not have approved. I didn't like being furtive, but there was no alternative. I'm not in that relationship anymore, and I'm glad.

I'm not qualified to give relationship advice, but I can say with confidence now: never again. If and when I once again have a significant other, she will know what I'm doing, and if she can't handle it, she won't be my significant other. I realize this sort of black and white approach doesn't apply to someone who comes to this hobby well after the relationship has started. If that's your situation, you have to navigate it the best you can. Good luck.

But to the OP, whose significant other is a "fiance," and where the knot hasn't been tied yet, I would just recommend searching your heart for how important your values are to you and whether you will be able to stand a lifetime of being secretive with your SO. My experience is that, contrary to the hopes of romantics everywhere, incompatibilities get worse over time, not better.

 

[Kasumi_Lee]

My man is vaguely aware, but he doesn't pry too much, not that I'd mind if he did.

 

[FifthEstate]

Mine doesn’t know. Like the OP’s situation, we used to be apart a lot due to my job, but it’s not that way anymore and my output has shrunk significantly as a result. I don’t mind though, I have lots of other interests I pursue when I’m closer to home including more quality time with her.

 

[MrPixel]

Mine is fine with it and even "stars" in many of the stories. However, I don't let her read all of them - some have squicks for her, and she's an excruciatingly slow reader. I had to fire her as my editor.

 

[bumpercars]

My wife knows what I write. She reads the stories that line up with her kinks, and she knows about the stories that don't.

I'm sorry that folks feel like they have to hide this sort of thing. I'm not judging y'all for doing so, but I wish we weren't so puritan so it wouldn't feel necessary.

I mean, most couples have some non-shared interests: She likes opera and he thinks it's boring, or he likes hiking and she thinks it's miserable. I don't see why "she likes reading about gangbangs" should be that different.

 

[shelleycat1]

My wife knows and is happy that I have a hobby. She read and edited the first one I wrote, but is not interested enough to read the others. I would have to write a who dun it to make her read another one.

 

[THBGato]

My wife knows and has read many and give really useful feedback (she's a novelist, and has been a beta-reader for a couple of other published novelists). That said, she's not interested in reading sex scenes, so there are some where I've said to her "you don't have to read this one".

 

[AllenWoody]

My Lady only knows that I write, but has little interest in what. She’ll ask me if I’m “typing,” by which she means am I too busy writing to talk to her. The answer of course is always no, but I would like longer stretches of time to concentrate on my stories.

 

[litfan10]

I met my significant other here on Lit. She was a fan of my work. We found we share kinks and music tastes then found that we lived four/five hours drive apart.
She moved up and we've been together over twelve years now.
She loves when I write as ah, ahem, 'research' is often involved to guarantee accuracy.

 

[SimonDoom]

I met my significant other here on Lit. She was a fan of my work. We found we share kinks and music tastes then found that we lived four/five hours drive apart.
She moved up and we've been together over twelve years now.
She loves when I write as ah, ahem, 'research' is often involved to guarantee accuracy.

That's great! I wonder if anyone else has been brought together by Lit.

 

[litfan10]

That's great! I wonder if anyone else has been brought together by Lit.

Years ago another Litster I'm friends with was dating someone she met here. So it does happen.

 

[Britva415]

I wouldn't be in a relationship like that.

 

[Lifestyle66]

My wife knows I write these stories. She's even read a few. She doesn't care for most of my writings, because she just has different tastes on the kind of stories she prefers.

HOWEVER, when she read my story "Unique Rewards of Yoga", she stopped half-way through it to ride me on the living room floor. She said she gave it a 5 later when she finished.
"Oh, what a night. ..."

 

[lovecraft68]

You do what's right for you, but I think its sad that you see so many people online who can't tell their SO about a fantasy or kink. Just doesn't seem like a completely healthy partnership, but it seems so common that I guess people decide to settle on things and keep secrets, which leads to there being trust issues.

There are things I'm into my wife isn't crazy about-and not just kink or erotica-and the other way around, but we're wide open to each other and respect those differences.

It's a shame that as time goes on I feel like we're one of the lucky ones that can

 

[litfan10]

You do what's right for you, but I think its sad that you see so many people online who can't tell their SO about a fantasy or kink. Just doesn't seem like a completely healthy partnership, but it seems so common that I guess people decide to settle on things and keep secrets, which leads to there being trust issues.

There are things I'm into my wife isn't crazy about-and not just kink or erotica-and the other way around, but we're wide open to each other and respect those differences.

It's a shame that as time goes on I feel like we're one of the lucky ones that can

Amen

 

[AwkwardlySet]

It's a shame that as time goes on I feel like we're one of the lucky ones that can

Of course you are the lucky ones. We find satisfaction in writing and publishing our stories, but actually being able to share all of this with someone we love would make it all ten times better. I am saying this from the point of view of someone who is in a loose relationship and who never even thought about revealing this part of his personality.

What can I say, I have never been with a person who was even remotely as kinky as I am (as far as I know) So yeah, I can freely admit to envying you bastards who managed to find kindred spirits even when it comes to erotica.

 

[live4thebj]

I can sympathize with the OP because for a long time I was in a relationship with someone much less kinky than I was. I wasn't writing stories then, and didn't start until well after that relationship was finished. But I went through a long period of frequenting erotic story sites and reading stories without telling her. I'm sure she would not have approved. I didn't like being furtive, but there was no alternative. I'm not in that relationship anymore, and I'm glad.

I'm not qualified to give relationship advice, but I can say with confidence now: never again. If and when I once again have a significant other, she will know what I'm doing, and if she can't handle it, she won't be my significant other. I realize this sort of black and white approach doesn't apply to someone who comes to this hobby well after the relationship has started. If that's your situation, you have to navigate it the best you can. Good luck.

But to the OP, whose significant other is a "fiance," and where the knot hasn't been tied yet, I would just recommend searching your heart for how important your values are to you and whether you will be able to stand a lifetime of being secretive with your SO. My experience is that, contrary to the hopes of romantics everywhere, incompatibilities get worse over time, not better.

Well clearly our priorities differ. My fetish is a fetish. It doesn’t rule my life. As for this site in the end it is porn and not my life. Also writing is a hobby not a job. So if my fiancé brings me joy and true companionship and doesn’t like porn or my fetish then I can live with that. If it comes to the fetish and site over her I will pick her without a single pause.

I wouldn't be in a relationship like that.

We all have our priorities.